Hostile engagement (17 page)

`I'll wait in the drawing room,' she told the housekeeper, then forcing a smile, 'Perhaps you will tell Mr Hemming I'm in there.'

She should have telephoned first, Lucy thought, as she paced about the drawing room. It had crossed her mind to

do that, only she hadn't wanted Jud to begin asking questions over the telephone.

She had her back to the drawing room door when it opened, and she swung round as it closed to, half expecting it to be Mrs Weston coming to tell her she had told Jud she was here. But it wasn't Mrs Weston who looked at her across the plush carpeting, but Jud himself, looking stern and remote in the dark material of his business suit. Lucy remembered the last time she had seen him, remembered all too well that he had no respect for her and felt more sick than ever as she battled to keep the tears at bay. If he said, this is an unexpected pleasure, in that sarcastic way of his, Lucy knew she would just fling his ring at him and run. But he didn't say anything of the sort, and his voice when it came held not the slightest hint of sarcasm.

`You look serious, Lucy,' he said quietly, leaving his position by the door and coming closer to look down into her pale face. 'What's wrong?'

`I ... I ...' His gentle tone was affecting the tight hold she was exerting on her feelings. She wanted to tell him, indeed he had a right to know, but just then she didn't trust her voice not to let her down. Dumbly, she undid the clasp of her bag, withdrew the square box and handed it to him.

Jud reached for the box she was offering-and at the same time caught hold, of her ringless left hand. Then still holding her hand he transferred his gaze to her face, then softly asked, 'Why?'

Just that and no more. If she had thought anything about his reaction at all, it was to think he would be mildly furious that she had thwarted his plans to keep Carol Stanfield from mooning over him, but his quietly asked 'Why?' had her wondering what exactly he was feeling-those cold grey-green eyes were telling her precisely nothing. Wrenching her hand away from his, she looked down at the small expanse of carpet between them, inconsequently noting that

his shoes looked expensive and hand-made as he stood so near to her.

`Why, Lucy?' Jud asked again when her answer was a long time in coming.

`I know-I know who sold you the ring, Jud,' she said at last, unable to look at him with the shared knowledge that her brother was little better than a thief between them. 'It m-makes our bargain null and void ...'

`Why does it?' Jud asked. 'You were fully prepared to go through with it when you didn't know from whom I purchased the ring.' His tone was still quiet, reasoning even.

But Lucy didn't want to be reasoned with. Jud was so clever he could make black seem white, and white appear to be black, and as far as she could see there was nothing to be reasoned with. Jud had paid for the ring-it belonged to him ...

`It's different now, Jud,' she said slowly. 'You paid a lot of money for the ring, and ... what's mine is Rupert's, so there-therefore I sold it to you and ... and I have no right to it ...'

`So you want to back out of our bargain?'

She wasn't sure there wasn't the faintest suggestion of an edge creeping into Jud's voice, but she still couldn't look at him—she didn't want to see the scorn in his eyes, to see the contempt there. She knew he was thinking she was as dishonest as her brother by breaking her word to be engaged to him for three months.

`No, I'm not backing out of our agreement. If you still want Carol to think we're engaged, that's all right with me, but I can't wear your ring, Jud.' Silence followed her words and she wished she could look at him to show him she was sincere, but she was afraid to read what might be in his expression when he looked back at her.

She gave a startled movement when one of Jud's hands came to rest gently on her shoulder, the other coming beneath her chin to lift her face up so he could see into her

eyes. 'If you can't wear it, Lucy, won't you take it and keep it for the three months we agreed?'

She looked at him then and saw none of the harshness in his look she had expected to see, but an understanding she had never thought he would have for her. Oh God, she couldn't help thinking, I'm going to howl my eyes out if I don't get out of here soon.

`I ... I can't take it, Jud,' she said huskily. 'It ... It wouldn't be right.'

`It belonged to your mother,' Jud reminded her, which was the last thing she needed to be reminded about at that moment. 'I know how much the ring means to you.'

For all Jud's hold on her was gentle, Lucy had a distinct feeling his grip would tighten if she followed her instinct and made to run from the room. Gallantly she stayed where she was to reiterate in a voice that was now decidedly wobbly, 'I can't take it-what's the point anyway?' and as the first tear fell and others fell in quick succession she struggled on, her face wet with tears, 'It will be just as hard to part with it in August as now.'

She felt Jud's hand on her shoulder move in a convulsive movement, and as she looked at him saw his face unlike the face she knew, and realised he couldn't bear to see a woman in tears. And when she knew she should stop crying if only to take that look away from his face, she realised something else, that instead of his look drying her tears it had more tears raining down her face. I love him, she thought, and couldn't think how it had happened, and dipped her head so that he shouldn't see or hear if a groan of the despair she was feeling escaped her.

`Don't cry, Lucy,' Jud said raggedly. 'If the ring means so much to you, then keep it—it's yours with no strings attached.'

`Oh, Jud !' Lucy groaned, and lifted her head to gaze in wonder that the man she loved was nowhere near as cold and as hard as she had believed him to be. Then, sanity

trying to assert itself, she wiped her face with the back of her hand, her tears still falling, and told him haltingly, 'I can't take it-wh-when I've gone, you'll think my tears were j-just gold-digging tactics—and ...'

`Gold-digging tactics-you?' retorted Jud, taking his handkerchief from his pocket and gently smoothing away her tears. 'You wouldn't know where to begin,' and while Lucy could only stand and stare at him, he pulled her closely into his arms and tenderly kissed her.

Quite when things began to get out of hand she wasn't sure, but suddenly the tenderness of Jud's kiss gave way to a stronger emotion and his mouth was gently seeking and parting her lips with his own while his strong arms held her firmly to him, leaving her with no clear idea of anything any more other than that this was where she wanted to be. Then as Jud broke the kiss and loosened his hold slightly to look down at her, she masked her gaze as the thought came crashing in from nowhere that she would only have to look at him for him to know the depths of her feeling for him—he had no respect for her now. To have him know she loved him would be the end.

It wasn't easy to stiffen her body and drag herself out of his arms-she never afterwards knew from where she got the will-power to do it-but Jud made it easier by not insisting that she stayed where she was, and Lucy, knowing where all other pride had deserted her, that it would soon be all over the village that she and Rupert were hugely in debt, the pride of unreturned love gave her the strength to whip up a note of anger in her voice, when in truth she wanted to yield and melt against him.

`You said there would be no strings attached,' she reminded him, glad to hear her voice sounding coldly angry. `What was that kiss supposed to indicate-an avowal of your honourable intent?' She saw Jud's lips firm in a hard line, and didn't at all like the look on his face now, but forced herself to go on. 'Well, let me tell you, Jud Hem-

ming,' she said, while the inside of her was breaking up, `let me tell you I don't want any favours from you that you'll want payment for later—If you think ...'

She got no further, for with an angry oath Jud made no apology for, she felt herself hauled up in his arms with savage anger as he turned with her and almost threw her down on to one of the deep and wide settees the drawing room held. Then before she had regained her winded breath, she found Jud's body lying over hers, and he was kissing her with a fierce fury such as she had never known.

There was no tenderness in his kisses now, just the torrid heat of anger that was spurring him on as he claimed her mouth again and again. Uncaring of any protest, she managed to gasp when his mouth left hers to plunder kisses from her throat and chest, Jud let his anger take him on a pillaging sortie that had her dress unbuttoned, her shoulders bare and her breasts revealed to his darkened, furious view.

`Let me up!' Lucy screamed, her face scarlet as she tried to cover herself from his livid gaze, while knowing she had brought this on herself for spurning what she rightly knew to be his offer of giving her her ring without any thought of payment in cash or in kind.

Her protests were useless as Jud bent his head to devour the nectar from her breasts, his strong hands behind her hips pressing her body into him, making her aware for the first time of a man's body when passion had him aroused.

Almost fainting with fear, she felt her lips claimed yet again and knew an awakening feeling within her that had no right to be there, because this wasn't the way she wanted him to love her. When his hands left her hips to hold in his warm palms the throbbing swell of her breasts, though still pressed hard beneath him, she took advantage that at least his hands were no longer anchoring her down, and moved her body as though to get nearer to him, though secretly thinking that would be an impossibility, and when Jud

stilled for a moment as if undecided what her movement indicated, she gave a superhuman push, found herself free, and dived for the door, grabbing her bag as she flew. It didn't matter to her then what she looked like with her dress undone from top to hem, her lacy lingerie all anyhow; all that mattered was that she was away from him.

But when Jud sat back on the settee, his legs crossed in an indolent position telling her he had no intention of coming after her, she made a fumbling attempt to do up one or two buttons while still watching him carefully.

`Like I-said, Jud,' she said, nothing about her cool now as her words came out in gasping breaths, 'you can keep your favours.' And with that she turned blindly, yanked the door open, and raced to her car.

Lucy never expected to sleep that night. Her emotions were frayed ragged—thoughts about her brother's problems, the new side to him she had discovered were enough to keep her awake without the never-to-be-forgotten scene up at the Hall. She remembered hoping before that she would never be around when Jud let go his temper, how right she had been to be wary, she could have done without being on the receiving end of it.

Hot colour surged through her cheeks as she lay in her bed willing sleep to come. She couldn't help but wonder if Jud's fury would have taken him on to what had seemed likely at the time. Supposing she hadn't been able to escape? Would Jud have let his passionate anger take him on to possess her?

More tears came as she relived the scene. Thank God Rupert had been nowhere about when she had arrived home. It was the first time in an age she had been glad he was out—who he was with was of no concern to her as she had drawn her Mini up outside Brook House and let herself in. She had been shaken by the sight that had met her eyes in the hall mirror—her dress decidedly the worse for wear, the wide-eyed, tear-ravaged face so sad and unlike her own, she had hurried past the mirror and had gone straight to her room.

She lay awake for what seemed like hours, but eventually sheer exhaustion sent her into a troubled sleep, and she awakened to find Rupert beside her a cup of tea in his hand.

`This is the second time I've been up,' Rupert effected a

grumbling tone. 'I thought you were never going to wake up.

`What time is it?'

`You've been crying,' Rupert countered in return. 'Your eyelids are all swollen,' and then turning away believing he was the sole cause of his sister's tears, he sank down on the pink velvet-covered sewing chair. `I'm sorry, Lucy,' he muttered, his voice sounding so miserable, so low and dejected, Lucy wanted to go and put her arms around him and tell him everything was all right—but everything was nowhere near to being all right. 'God, I'm sorry.'

`My tears weren't all on account of you.' Lucy couldn't help trying to ease his burden.

`Jud Hemming give you a bad time?' Rupert was shrewder than she had given him credit for, Lucy realised, as her brother swivelled round to look at her.

`He was very kind, actually.' Well, he had offered to give her the ring, hadn't he? Her mind refused to try and cope with what had happened afterwards. Then she explained the vest of her tears to Rupert, 'I came home feeling a bit sorry for myself after I'd handed the ring over.'

`I've never known you feel sorry for yourself in my life,' Rupert said stoutly, while seeming to accept without a second's thought that Lucy had parted with her ring.

`There's always a first time—now I'd better get up.' Rupert stood up to go, but Lucy called him back. 'I thought I'd go and stay with Aunt Dorothy for a few days, Rupe-I ...'

`Wish I could come with you,' Rupert said as he left her room. Lucy knew he meant he wished it was as easy for him to escape from his problems—he could
n't know, because no on
e was going to know her secret, but she wouldn't be leaving the problem of loving Jud Hemming behind. She thought it would follow her wherever she went, and for evermore.