Hot For Teacher (42 page)

The next few days blur together. Before I know it, I’m packing for Saint Louis. The bus comes in the morning, and I realize I haven’t done laundry.

Arleen hasn’t called, and when I’ve seen her in school, she hasn’t spoken to me. I’ve tried texting and calling, but she won’t respond. On Tuesday I had a plan to corner her before class, but she took a different way to avoid seeing me.

I know that game well. I was the master of
dodge the psycho
.

And now I have to spend the weekend with Miss Shields. On top of that, I haven’t thought or cared to find out what our debate will be about. Everything is a mess, and once again I feel out of control.

I’m not upset with Arleen. She’s going to hate me for a long time. And no matter how much it crushes me to think it, I know she has every right.

I fucked up. I was wrong. Now I have to live with the consequences.

My phone vibrates, and I check the text. It’s from Miss Shields.

I hope you’re packing. ;) See you in the parking lot at 5am. I’m very much looking forward to this weekend.

This is a fucking nightmare.

***

The drive to Saint Louis is long. It’s a nine-hour bus ride, and the only stops we make are for food. Arleen has avoided me like the plague, and makes sure to sit as far away from me as she can.

Miss Shields, on the other hand, is entirely too close for comfort. She occasionally flips her hair to expose her neck, or crosses her legs and runs a finger down her calf. I know what that would’ve done to me a few weeks ago, but instead it only grates on my nerves.

I know one thing for sure: I am
not
having sex with Miss Shields this weekend. No way.

When our bus arrives downtown, Miss Shields stands. “All right, everyone! We’re going to be at the hotel in about five minutes. Make sure you’ve paired up and you know who you’ll be sharing rooms with. If you could all stay in the lobby until I’ve checked us in, then I can hand out everyone’s keys. I want this to run smoothly, so please make sure you’re on your best behavior.”

I watch her sit back down, adjusting her skirt to cover her legs. But as I look down, the lace of her thigh-high can be seen. I look back up to where Arleen is sitting a few rows back, and she’s watching me. Her eyes narrow as she realizes where I’d been focusing my attention.

I’m sure she pieced it together. I don’t know how many spreadsheets she got to, but it was obvious that Katie Shields was on my to-do list. Her name was below Number Ten and highlighted. Arleen probably thinks I’m not only delusional, but that I had intentions of using her as a stepping stone to get to Miss Shields.

What a wreck.

We get into the hotel lobby, and there are hundreds of students standing around. Miss Shields quickly ushers us into a corner, and we’re all squished together so that we’re not standing in the main aisle. Our luggage is crammed in with us.

Arleen is directly in front of me. She’s so close I can smell her. My palms begin to sweat, and I want to reach out and hold her down so she’ll listen. I want her to know that what she saw on that screen showed the idiot I was, not the moron I am today.

I shake my head and chuckle to myself.
I
am
a complete moron, aren’t I?
Arleen turns her head to the side and sees the smile on my face. But I can’t remove it fast enough. She looks down and begins pushing her way through the crowd. She runs to the bathroom, covering her face so I can’t see her expression.

I step out from our group and try to follow her, but Miss Shields stops me. “Oh, Simon.” She smiles shyly. “Here’s your key.” Handing me the small folder with the card, her hand lingers on mine for a moment before she heads toward the rest of the group.

“Everyone gather around, please…” I hear Miss Shields begin, but I set off to find Arleen.

I open the bathroom door slowly, and look around the room to make sure no one sees me enter. The door creaks, and there are two women standing at the sinks. I close the door quickly and back out of the room.

“Wrong bathrooms, Simon.” Miss Shields says from behind me. “Go up to the room and put your things away. We need to meet in the conference room for the Welcome Dinner in twenty minutes. No time to dillydally.”

I nod and drag my bags to the elevator.

Once I enter the room, if there was any question as to what Miss Shields had planned for us this weekend, it was definitely answered. My debate coach clearly intended for something extravagant.

She booked two adjoining suites. “This room sure beats what I had last year,” I mutter, looking around. The suite has two bedrooms, one on each side of the main living area. The upholstery is white.
Everything
is white—from the curtains to the couch cushions. The beds are all draped in white linens, and even the blanket on the back of the armchair is white. The only color in the room is the dark green carpet used throughout the entire hotel, and black granite countertops in the kitchen. The place is immaculate, and I can only imagine how much she paid for these rooms.

But the fancy shit doesn’t impress me. My parents keep their house just as sterile as this room. I’d rather be with Arleen at the ruins any day over this.

I set my bags down and meet up with some other students in the elevator as we walk toward the conference room.

I look around for Arleen, but can’t spot her right away. Miss Shields is also a no-show, but she’s probably taking care of last-minute hotel business.

I grab a plate of food and sit down with my team.

“You ready for the debate, Simon?” Mallory asks, sitting a few seats down.

I nod and chomp down on my salad. “Sure.”

“What stance will you be taking on it?” she pries.

Shit, I don’t even know what the debate is about
. I shrug.

“Let me guess: It’s a no-brainer?” she laughs.

“Right,” I say distractedly, watching Arleen enter the room. She sits on the opposite side of the room from me, and she looks distraught. Her hair is messy and her eyes look puffy.

She looks at everything and nothing as she contemplates something inside of her. Her eyes close, and her forehead creases as she shakes her head. To watch her struggling grabs hold of my beating heart and squashes it.

I rise from my chair, leaving my plate behind. Moving toward Arleen, I pass by Miss Shields holding a plate full of food, but ignore her. I’m a few steps away from Arleen when she finally sees me.

Our eyes lock.

The room empties.

And I offer her my hand to leave.

She takes hold, and I escort her out of the convention hall. We make it to the elevator and the doors close. Knowing I might not get an opportunity to speak with her alone this weekend, I jump at the chance.

“Arleen, I—”

“Simon, don’t.”

“But if you’d just—”

“What? Listen to your explanation? You really think anything you say could make a difference? What would I do with that, huh? It was bad enough that you fucked anything with a vagina within a mile radius, but to try to explain to me what I saw on your computer? Sorry, but there’s nothing that you could say that would make me think you’re a good person. No matter how much I may have wanted to believe it.”

“Is that why you came with me just now? If you didn’t want to talk to me then why are you here? You
want
to believe me because deep down you know that with you it’s different.
I’m
different.”

The elevator dings as we arrive on my floor. I take out my keycard and walk to my room.

“Where are you going?” Arleen calls behind me, hovering close to the elevator.

I swipe the card and grab my bags before the door can close again. I’m out of the room and walking back toward Arleen within seconds. “I’m going wherever you go.”

“What? You can’t.”

“Listen to me, Arleen.” I walk back into the elevator and motion for her to punch the button to her floor. The doors close and I plop my bags down. “First, there’s no way I’m sleeping in that room tonight. I don’t care if I have to sleep on the street outside. So just drop it. Second, you and I have things we need to talk about, so I suggest we go back to your room and discuss them.”

She rolls her eyes and stares at the ceiling of the elevator. “Simon. I have a roommate. You can’t just go wherever you want. Besides, there are rules. We’re not supposed to have co-ed rooms.”

The elevator doors open and I walk out into the hall. Arleen follows me.

“Fuck the rules. Besides, I think both you and I know I won’t be laying a hand on you tonight, so the rules don’t apply. We’ll just give your roommate my keycard and let her know that the rooming assignments have changed.”

“But aren’t you rooming with another guy?”

I hesitate. “No. It’s fine. I promise.”

She narrows her eyes and I know she knows I’m keeping something from her.

“I’ll explain everything. Where’s your room?”

***

It turns out Mallory was Arleen’s roommate. I hid in the bathroom when Mallory came back, and I could hear Arleen tell her about the rooming arrangements. She seemed to be content with Arleen’s explanation.

I laugh to myself when I picture Miss Shields’s face when she comes back from dinner to discover Mallory in the room next to hers. Quite a different weekend from the one she had envisioned, I’m sure.

After I hear the door click, I walk from the bathroom and Arleen is sitting on the bed.

“Talk, Simon.”

I look around the room. It’s small compared to the suite Miss Shields has. But there is a small chair in the corner, and I pull it close to the bed to sit down. “Let me first start by saying that everything I’m about to tell you is going to sound like the most ludicrous thing you’ve ever heard. But I promise you, it’s the truth.”

She nods, and I continue.

“When I was eleven, my parents left. Not in the same way yours did. But they decided that traveling around the world was more important to them than raising their son.” I shrug, trying to show her that I know it’s nothing compared to what she’s been through, but I can’t pretend like the abandonment didn’t affect me. “When I got into high school, things went from bad to worse. My grades had always been good, but I started failing tests, I didn’t have a lot of friends, and I didn’t really have anyone I could talk to.”

Arleen nods, intently listening, and lies on the bed on her stomach. Propping her head up with one hand, she’s facing me and urging me to continue.

“Then I met someone.” I swallow, trying to avoid telling her who it was, even though she’s going to start putting together the puzzle any minute now. “She was perfect. Attentive. Beautiful. But she was a lot older than me. And after I met her, I couldn’t stop thinking about her and how she made me feel. Of course now I realize that it was foolish, but back then she seemed like the perfect solution to my loneliness.”

“So what happened?”

My head bobs down and I exhale a deep breath. “I came up with a plan to become the perfect man.”

She smiles. “That didn’t work out so well, did it?”

I laugh. “Right?” Although I still have a smile on my face, it begins to fade as I know the tone of the conversation is about to get more serious. “I thought… I thought in order to get a woman like her, I needed to become someone she’d never want to leave.”

Her smile disappears too, and I can see she understands what I’m telling her.

“That’s when I started my spreadsheet.”

She nods, and I don’t need to explain anymore.

“Can I ask you a question?” she says.

“Yeah.”

“What’s it like? You know, sex?”

“It’s…it’s…” I shrug. “It’s never really been a big deal. I mean, the first time it was, but after that it got weird for me. It became something I started analyzing and breaking down. And it was about trying to learn about it instead of just experiencing it. It became a homework assignment—something I was studying for because the test was coming when I turned eighteen.” I think back to my first time and try to remember what it was like not to know. “It’s never been like what we read about. What we hear about. Or what we dream about. Not for me, anyway.”

A long silence falls between us, but I can tell she has more she wants to say.

“Do you know where she is now? The woman that started all of this?”

I take a sharp inhale and close my eyes. “Yes.”

“Where is she, Simon?”

I lift my head and open my eyes. “She’s in room four-oh-six.”

I can see that she’s pieced it all together now.

“Isn’t that the room
right next door
to the room Mallory will be sleeping in tonight?”

I slowly nod my head and keep my eyes on the floor.

“What was this weekend supposed to be, Simon? Was Miss Shields going to have sex with you?”

I scratch my eyebrow and take a quick look at her. “I guess I’ll never know.”