Authors: Ahren Sanders
“Tell me everything. What’s been happening?” She looks between Shaw and me, and I start with small talk, filling her in on work and my parents since the last time we saw each other.
Shaw tells them about work, mentioning a few trips coming up for a few of his clients. He’d already mentioned to me about switching my shifts around to go to a World Series game with him. Actually, he insisted on it in one of our never ending ‘talk it out’ sessions where he declared he wasn’t leaving me alone for two days. Nicky and Mathis are also coming, so I tried to decline, but he refused to go without me. He even had Joe send me a text explaining he wanted me to come watch him play.
Sneaky bastard, but it worked.
Maria asks me to help her in the kitchen, and Shaw shoots me a look, telling me it’s time. His face pales as worry lines form around his eyes. I get up and go to him, sitting on the arm of the chair and leaning into his side.
Wrapping me in his arms, he pulls me to his lap and cages me in. The air in the room changes as a look of confusion crosses Maria’s face.
“Actually, I need to talk to you two.” Shaw takes a shaky breath.
Seth goes to sit next to Maria, reaching for her hand. “Son, what’s going on?” he encourages him to continue.
“I’ve fucked up. Royally fucked up.”
Panic flashes across their faces.
Instead of facing them, he faces me, and I can tell he’s trying to find the words. There’s so much emotion in his expression, I finally see the turmoil he was feeling all those weeks, hiding this from me. He’s spilling his guts to me with his eyes, and I lean in, finding my own words to help him.
“Shaw is having a baby with another woman,” I tell them in a weak voice. “He had sex with a woman shortly before we got together, and the woman is pregnant. Paternity tests prove he’s the father.”
The only sound in the room is Shaw’s deep breathing until a small cry slips from Maria. We both look at her, shock registering on her face. Seth drops his chin to his chest, shielding his own disappointment.
No one speaks, the silence becoming uncomfortable. Shaw finally clears his throat, “I’m working with Caldwell Banks on the specifics of how to proceed legally, but I’m committed to my responsibility.”
“Well, of course you are. That’s the kind of man you are.” Maria snaps out of her fog.
“How’d this happen?” Seth leans forward, placing his elbows on his knees, and pins Shaw with his eyes.
“It happened as most stupid stories go—too much alcohol, not enough sense. Add an aggressive woman who had been interested in me for a while.”
“We’ve been discussing safe sex with you since you were thirteen years old,” Seth points out angrily.
“This is actually a result of safe sex gone wrong. Nothing you can say to me I haven’t already said to myself. Hell, I have the safe sex conversation with all my clients, treating them like adolescent boys. Now, look at me. This isn’t setting a good example.”
“What do we know about this woman? Is she a decent person? Is there a way she’s after your money? What about her family?” Maria spouts question after question, her eyes bulging.
“Shit, this is worse than I thought,” Shaw says under his breath. “Actually, no, she’s not a decent person. She’s mean and calculating, and she wants more from me than I’m willing to give. She’s a local, a few years younger than me, went to school with Nick and Bizzy, but I didn’t know about her. There’s a good chance she’d like to get her hands on my money, but she comes from money herself.”
“Who is she?”
“Sasha Crane.”
I brace, watching the recognition wash over Maria’s face. She obviously remembers the name from my high school troubles.
“I see,” is all she says.
More silence passes as the temperature in the room drops with the announcement hanging in the air. I move off Shaw’s lap, feeling the need to leave the family alone for a few minutes.
“Where are you going?” He clutches onto my wrist.
“I’m going to the kitchen. You need some time with your parents,” I say softly.
“You don’t need to leave, Bizzy. You’re a part of this family. I think we’re in shock,” Seth tells me.
“No, really, I’ll be in the kitchen,” I try again.
“How do you feel about this, Lizbeth?”
Oh shit, Maria rarely uses my formal name. Usually, it’s reserved for times of joy, but now, it’s more authoritative, reminding me of my own mom. I glance at her and see a touch of sadness, but I also see the ferocity of a woman I’ve known for many years.
I square my shoulders and give her the truth. “To say I’m hurt is an understatement. I didn’t take the news well. I wasn’t sure I could handle it. My very first thoughts were that our relationship was over. I still have my reservations.”
Shaw leaps to his feet, but I move quickly, throwing a hand at him to stop. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see his mouth opening to argue, but I don’t dare look at him.
“The reality is it happened when Shaw and I weren’t together. He’s apologized more than one man should have to in his lifetime. He’s held me close and listened to me cry and pour my fears into words. Then he dried my tears and didn’t let go. I may be naïve to think we can make this work, but I’m not ready to let go of him. I love him; I’ve always loved him. He says he loves me—”
“Fiercely,” he cuts me off. “I love you, fiercely.”
“So we’re going to take this day by day. Regardless of my thoughts on Sasha Crane, I’m standing by his side. It’s not always going to be easy, but I think, eventually, the wound will heal.”
“I need some time to process this,” Maria says sadly, wiping a tear from her eye.
“Mom, I’ve never been so ashamed of my actions.” Shaw goes to her and squats, taking her hands in his. “But I’m going to do this the right way.”
“Of course you are, but I can’t believe you’re having a baby.”
Hearing her say it slays into me, and I clench my arms around my waist to keep from bending over in pain. Shaw is too focused on his mom to notice, but Seth comes to me immediately.
“Sweet, sweet Bizzy.” He kisses my forehead as tears sting my eyes.
“I’ll be okay.”
“You aren’t okay, but I’m always here if you need me. We’ll all get through this.”
I nod and lay my head on his shoulder, like so many times in the past. The strength and unity I had in the car seems to disappear. Seeing Seth and Maria’s reaction made this more real than even telling my mom. They are going to be grandparents. Shaw is going to be a dad.
Where does this leave me? For the first time, I realize we may not all get through this… together.
Shaw
I give my name to the receptionist, and she points me to a door, indicating I should come through. Another woman meets me and offers to take me directly to Sasha, her peppiness grating on my last nerve. Instead, I ask that she lead me to the billing department.
Her smile fades, but she directs me to a small waiting room and says someone will be right with me. I sit and look around at pictures of smiling babies everywhere, some with doting parents holding them close.
Fuck.
I close my eyes to avoid the happy families all around me.
How the hell did I get here?
It seems like a lifetime, but finally, a woman walks in and asks me to come with her. I don’t make eye contact with anyone as we go through a long hall and enter an office where another woman waits for me with a professional smile.
“Mr. Bennett, please come in.”
I sit in the chair across from her desk and take out my wallet. “I’d like for you to keep my card on file for any incidentals, copays, or extra services Miss Crane requests. Anything this baby needs should be charged here.”
Her eyes dart between me and her computer screen. “Sasha’s insurance covers most prenatal appointments, and it looks like there are a few deductibles that will kick in for the actual birth.”
“Use this.” I tap my finger against the card.
“Okay.” She takes it and runs it through a machine then hands it back. “I’ll make a note in the computer.”
“Thank you. Now, I need to know how to get a copy of all the medical records pertaining to the prenatal appointments and Miss Crane’s progress.”
“Oh, that’s no problem. She has portal access to every blood test, result, sonogram, and upcoming appointment. It’ll be easy for her to give you.”
“Does she have to approve?” I ask coldly.
Her expression changes as she nods.
“Sasha and I are not together. I’d like to be kept abreast of all activity with my child. How do I gain that?”
She shifts uncomfortably and avoids eye contact. “I wasn’t aware of this situation. She will need to give you permission to obtain her records.”
“What about my baby’s?”
“She will still need to give permission.”
“Okay, what if we have a court order? Legal documentation? A warrant?”
“Yes, we will have to work with certain legal documentation.”
“Okay. Thanks.” I stand, knowing exactly what Caldwell will need if Sasha refuses. “Now, can someone show me to Miss Crane’s room?”
“Of course.” She gets up and leads me to a waiting room without another word.
That little meeting should feed the gossip mill for a while.
Yet, another woman comes and asks me to follow her. When we get to the door, she knocks lightly and gives me a huge smile, telling me they’ve been waiting for me.
Her words don’t register until I walk in and stop mid-stride. There’s someone in front of Sasha’s tented legs with a machine on her stomach. That’s not what has me stunted. Instead, I’m faced with a woman holding Sasha’s hand that is the spitting image of her, only older, and she’s beaming at me.
I resist the urge to run out of the room when she speaks, and Sasha shoots me a wicked, conspiring glare.
“Ren! We’ve been waiting for you. You’re in time.” The woman waves me to the table and points to the screen. “The sonographer just started. Here’s your baby!”
She’s clearly excited to see her grandchild, and my heart drops.
Sasha set me up. She knew I’d be here today through the communication of our lawyers. I’m a lame duck, and she’s daring me to act out in front of her mom.
Well played, bitch.
I stay standing and don’t miss the disappointment on her mom’s face when I don’t step closer. Instead, I give the sonographer a chin jerk, urging her to go on. She moves the instrument over Sasha’s stomach and points out a few different limbs. I’m too shocked to comprehend most of what she says but stare at the vivid screen, knowing my child is there.
The need to have Bizzy close suddenly overwhelms me, and I realize this is a colossal mistake. How’d I think she’d be okay with this?
I force myself to pay attention until the sonographer moves away and pictures pour out of the machine.
Sasha’s mom looks at me expectantly, waiting… For what? I don’t know.
I glance at the pictures again.
I should want one.
I should have one.
I should demand one.
Then, the most grating and obnoxious sound echoes through the room as Sasha starts laughing. “Mom, I think he’s finally speechless.”
I shake inside at the sound of her voice.
“What’s wrong, Ren?” she asks like it’s the most normal thing in the world for us to have a conversation.
I suck in hard, swallowing the hatred for her… for myself. “Nothing. It seems like everything is progressing normally.” I look at the poor, confused sonographer for confirmation.
She nods.
“I’ll be at the next appointment.”
I turn and rush through the door without another word until I hear Sasha’s mom calling me.
“Ren!” She steps into the hall, closing the door behind her.
Out of pure respect, I stop and take a few breaths as she makes her way to me.
“I know this is not ideal, but it’ll work out fine. No one is angry anymore. There’s no need to be scared of me or my reaction. We welcome you into our family and can’t wait to get to know you better. We understand.”
“What exactly do you understand?” I ask, dumbfounded.
“Sasha told us you are barely seeing each other. This is a surprise, but you’re both excited. We accept it.”
“But we’re not seeing each other. We never were. There actually is no ‘we’ at all,” I blurt out blindly, sucking in my words and wishing my PR team was here to handle this.
She steps back, her whole demeanor changing. “What are you saying?”
“Mrs. Crane, I think you need to talk to Sasha.”
“I’m afraid that won’t do. I’m talking to you, and frankly, I don’t like what I’m hearing. Are you saying Sasha is pregnant with your baby, and you’re not even dating her?”
“You need to discuss this with Sasha.”
“I said no!” Her voice escalates, turning a few heads our way.
“With all due respect, this is not something I feel comfortable with.” I lower my own voice, trying to calm her.
The door to Sasha’s exam room opens, and she walks out. When she sees me talking to her mom, she pastes on a fake smile and comes to us. “Ren, you stayed. Mom was so disappointed when I explained you had to get back to work so quickly.”
If she thinks I’m playing this game, she’s a lunatic.
“Actually, I’m on my way out now. Anything with billing and financials has been handled. My lawyer will be in touch.”
Her jaw drops as her face starts to turn red. Her cool attitude disappears, and I can tell she’s about to blow.
Not in the mood for another scene with her, I flick my hand goodbye and leave her staring at my back.
When I get to the car, I call Caldwell and give him details of the appointment and tell him to move forward with our next steps.
Then I drive straight to Bizzy’s house. In less than two hours, we’ll be on a plane and away from all this shit for the next few days. It can’t come soon enough.