How to Not Write Bad: The Most Common Writing Problems and the Best Ways to Avoidthem (6 page)
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Authors: Ben Yagoda
Tags: #Non-Fiction, #Writing
The structure we’re talking about is
identifier-noun.
The general rule is that if the noun is
not
the only thing in the world described by the identifier, leave out the comma. But if the identifier describes that noun and that noun alone, the comma is required.
There is one exception. If the identifier is preceded by
a, an
, a number, or a quantifying phrase like
a couple of
, use a comma before and after the noun.
A local merchant, Bob Hamilton, has opened his second Taco Bell.
Two members of the Hall of Fame, Johnny Bench and Willie Mays, will give speeches at the event.
With
the
or a possessive before the identifier, the basic rule applies. That is, use a comma if the identifier describes a unique person or thing:
The president of the Springfield Bar Association, Harold Cullen, was reelected unanimously.
My son, John, is awesome. (If you have just one son.)
But withhold the comma if not unique:
My son John is awesome. (If you have more than one son.)
The artist David Hockney is a master of color.
[
I love the cellist, Yo-Yo Ma.
]
If nothing comes before the identification, don’t use a comma; the word
the
is implied.
[
The keynote speech was given by attorney, Harold Cullen.
]
The keynote speech was given by attorney Harold Cullen.
No one seems to have a problem with the idea that if the identification comes
after
the noun, it should always be surrounded by commas:
Harold Meyerson, a local merchant, gave the keynote address.
However, students often wrongly omit a
the
or
a
in sentences of this type:
[
Jill Meyers, sophomore, is president of the sorority.
]
Jill Meyers, a sophomore, is president of the sorority.
[
The U.S. was represented by Hillary Clinton, secretary of state.
]
The U.S. was represented by Hillary Clinton, the secretary of state.
Sometimes the identifier consists of
the, a,
or a possessive followed by two or more adjectives. In some cases, a comma goes between the adjectives, and in some cases not.
a. [
In my safe I have a valuable, wooden nickel.
]
b.
In my safe I have a valuable wooden nickel.
a. [
The best fruit of all is a ripe juicy flavorful peach.
]
b.
The best fruit of all is a ripe, juicy, flavorful peach.
Why is
a
wrong and
b
right, and how can you decide whether to use commas in these situations? The rule I learned in junior high school still holds. Anytime you can insert the word
and
between adjectives and it still sounds fine, use a comma. If not, don’t.
b. The Case(s) of the Missing Comma
i.
A related issue is the epidemic of missing commas after parenthetical phrases or appositives—that is, self-enclosed material that’s within a sentence, but not essential to its meaning.
[
My father, who gave new meaning to the expression
hardworking
never took a vacation.
]
My father, who gave new meaning to the expression
hardworking,
never took a vacation.
[
He was born in Des Moines, Iowa in 1964.
]
He was born in Des Moines, Iowa, in 1964.
[
Philip Roth, author of
Portnoy’s Complaint
and many other books is a perennial contender for the Nobel Prize.
]
Philip Roth, author of
Portnoy’s Complaint
and many other books, is a perennial contender for the Nobel Prize.
I’m not sure why this mistake is so tempting. It may sometimes be because these phrases are so long that by the time we get to the end of them, we’ve forgotten about the first comma. In any case, a strategy to prevent it is to remember the acronym ICE. That is, whenever you find yourself using a comma to precede an
Identification, Characterization
, or
Explanation
, remember that the ICE
has
to be followed by a second comma. (The exception is when the ICE ends the sentence, in which case it’s followed by a period.)
ii.
Students also commonly leave out the comma after a modifying phrase or dependent clause.
[
By instituting all these new rules so soon after the start of the semester the university is creating chaos.
]
By instituting all these new rules so soon after the start of the semester, the university is creating chaos.
[
When the time is right to introduce a campaign the public relations department will get busy.
]
When the time is right to introduce a campaign, the public relations department will get busy.
Note that this rule holds even when the modifying phrase or clause doesn’t start out the sentence.
[
Carson tried to slip into the conference unnoticed, but since he was wearing a blindingly white suit that didn’t happen.
]
Carson tried to slip into the conference unnoticed, but since he was wearing a blindingly white suit, that didn’t happen.
*
You can’t go wrong in using a comma after a modifying phrase or dependent clause. However, in the case of a very short phrase—three words or less, and especially in the case of time elements—it can be okay or even preferable to leave the comma out.
Tomorrow I’ll be home.
Nowadays people leave out commas when they can get away with it.
But note that even with a short intro, a comma is often needed to avoid ambiguity. Scrutinize the sentence to find out.
[
However last night’s performance was a triumph.
]
However, last night’s performance was a triumph.
[
Despite the law students tailgated in greater numbers than last year.
]
Is the writer talking about law students? No. So:
Despite the law, students tailgated in greater numbers than last year.
iii.
When a sentence consists of two or more independent clauses (groups of words that can stand on their own as a sentence) joined by a conjunction, such as
and
or
but
, put a comma before (but not after) the conjunction
[
I waited in the terminal for two and a half hours but the bus never came.
]
I waited in the terminal for two and a half hours, but the bus never came.
As in section
ii.
, the comma can sometimes be omitted when the clauses are very short (and there’s no confusion or ambiguity). But you can never go wrong in using it.
She likes me but I like her roommate.
She likes me, but I like her roommate.
c. But, a Comma
Feels
Right!
Roughly at the beginning of the twenty-first century, I began to see a lot of sentences like:
[
But, I don’t agree.
]
And:
[
And, using a comma this way is weirdly popular.
]
By now, students put a comma in that spot more often than they don’t. Commas after sentence-starting
But
s,
And
s, and
Yet
s have even started to show up in Associated Press dispatches and
New York Times
articles, as well as in blogs and other writing on the Web. I think people use commas in this spot to mimic the pause they might insert when speaking such sentences. But for the last 150 years or so, punctuation rules have been based on grammar, not sound. And so a comma here is wrong.
*
More generally, students seem to reach for a comma whenever they feel any anxiety about a sentence’s syntax, when they find
themselves using an unfamiliar word, to separate a long noun phrase from a verb or a long adjective phrase from a noun, or just when they feel a pause coming on:
[
Approximately, fifteen percent of the class are minority group members.
]
[
Everyone who signed the petition, was disciplined.
]
[
Smith described the concert as, “a blast.”
]
[
He shares a house with three, senior, premed students.
]
[
Megan washed the dishes, and, wiped the counter.
]
All the commas in all those sentences need to go. As with all punctuation, the general trend over time is “Less is more.” A good strategy for commas is, if you can’t name a specific reason why it needs to be there, leave it out.
d. Splice Girls…and Boys
Comma splice
is a term for the linking of two independent clauses (that is, grammatical units that contain a subject and a verb and could stand alone as sentences) with a comma instead of a semicolon, period, or conjunction. As I noted in the introduction, when I started teaching I was gobsmacked by the multitude of comma splices that confronted me. They have not abated.
[
He used to be a moderate, now he’s a card-carrying Occupy Wall Street type.
]
He used to be a moderate. Now he’s a card-carrying Occupy Wall Street type.
He used to be a moderate; now he’s a card-carrying Occupy Wall Street type.
He used to be a moderate, but now he’s a card-carrying Occupy Wall Street type.
The second, third, and fourth examples are equally correct. You make your choice by, you got it, reading aloud and picking the one that best suits the context, your style, and your ear. Here, I would go with the semicolon. How about you?