How to Seduce a Scoundrel (42 page)

“No.”

“Don’t be silly. We’re rational human beings and can manage to sleep in this bed without doing something we ought not to do.”

“Julianne, I’m not getting into bed with you. Look what happened the last time. Sorry but my self-restraint is limited.”

“You hardheaded man. Come get in this bed right now.”

“Will you please go to sleep?” he gritted out.

“Not until you come to bed.”

Exasperated and more than a little uncomfortable, he strode over to the bed. “Just so we’re clear, you invited me. If I try to do something stupid, you are to slap me. Do you understand?”

She snorted. “I don’t know what difference it makes now. We’ve already breached that fortress.”

He stilled. “Don’t put ideas in my head.”

“I’m sure they were there already,” she said. “Get in the bed.”

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” he said without much conviction.

“Get in bed.”

He shrugged off the banyan.

Her eyes roamed over his naked body. “You’re beautiful.”

He slid between the covers. “Turn on your side and go to sleep.”

She swirled her finger through his chest hair. “Let’s think about this rationally.”

“There’s a very irrational part of me that wants to do all the thinking.”

“I’m already damaged goods.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Well, it’s true. I’m not a virgin any longer, but it occurred to me, I might never find a man willing to marry me now that I’m damaged goods.”

“Will you stop saying that? God, I feel badly enough for what I did to you.”

“As I recall, I’m the one who issued the invitation. But we’re digressing. The point is, I may never have another
opportunity, and I already know you’re quite skilled. So, if you’re not averse to the idea, I would like it very much if you made love to me.”

Good Lord. “Julianne, I’m not going to touch you.”

“No one will know.”

“I will.” He inhaled. “I’m ashamed of myself, and now there’s nothing I can do, because you’ve refused to marry me.”

She cupped his cheek. “It was a beautiful proposal.”

He swallowed hard. It still hurt.

“I wanted to say yes so very badly, but I’d sworn never to marry a man who didn’t love me.”

His heart started beating harder.

“This is the part that’s hard to admit, but I wounded you, and I suspect you don’t understand. I’ve always adored you, and I was infatuated with you for many years. I’ll admit something that will probably shock you.”

“What is it?” he asked hoarsely.

“I set out to win your heart. I’ve been planning this ever since you danced with me at my come-out ball.”

“You’re jesting.”

“No, I’m not. I’m going to swallow my pride and hope you’ll understand that the girlish me has very recently become a woman.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I have fantasized about marrying you for four long years. I never let another man kiss me, because I wanted your kiss to be my first,” she said.

Oh, God.

“That night at the Beresford’s ball, I thought for certain that all my fairy-tale dreams were coming true.”

“And I said you were like a sister to me.”

“Don’t sound so stricken. I’d built you up into this impossibly perfect romantic hero.”

“And I didn’t live up to your expectations.”

“I was infatuated with the fantasy of you, but I fell in love with the imperfect and wonderful man.”

She loved him. His heart gave an unmistakable leap.

“I thought you deserved to know, to understand, that the reason I turned down your sweet proposal was because you don’t love me,” she said. “A marriage where only one partner loves is miserable, Marc. I saw what it did to my mother. In public, she held her head up with pride, but at home it was another matter altogether. You see, like me, she tried to win my father over. And neither of us succeeded.”

“He was an idiot, and a selfish brute,” he said.

“I let his rejection rule over me, but yesterday, I finally realized that he doesn’t matter. I never knew him, and he didn’t deserve me, my mother, or my brother. And it wasn’t as if I didn’t have good male influence in my life. Because you and Tristan have always been by my side. And I couldn’t think of two more honorable and overly protective men.”

A little huff of laughter escaped him.

“I love you, but I knew that if I married you because you felt duty-bound, I would always feel inferior. I would always cover up my real feelings for you, because you don’t return them. And I don’t say this to make you feel bad—”

He put his finger over her lips. “My God, I’m a bigger blockhead than Osgood.”

She grabbed his finger. “What does Osgood have to do with this?”

“Nothing, except I’m as oblivious as he is.”

“You’re making no sense.”

His heart beat faster. “I am an idiot.”

“Sometimes,” she said.

“And blind because I—”

She put her finger over his lips this time. “Don’t say it unless you mean it.”

He caught her finger and drew both her hands into his. “I have been so miserable without you. I thought about you constantly, and I was so unhappy when you turned me down. I thought you hated me for what I’d done to you. I missed you, and I didn’t understand what was tormenting me. But I could have avoided all that misery if I’d just admitted what I knew deep down. I am utterly, completely, hopelessly in love with you.”

An impish smile curved her lips. “You’re not just saying that so I’ll let you make love to me, are you?”

“No,” he said somberly. “I love you, and I don’t want to live without you. But I don’t want to propose in an inn bed.”

“We’ll wait until we reach Gatewick Park,” she said.

“Does this mean I deserve a reward?”

“I think we both do.”

He laughed. “What is your pleasure, my lady? Shall I lead or will you?”

“Well, you waltz divine, so I think I’ll let you lead.”

He unbuttoned the nightgown and drew it over her head. “You’re beautiful. I wish it weren’t so dark. After we’re married, I want to make love to you in the daylight.”

“I might let you,” she said.

He kissed her lips. “I love you. And after we’re married, I want to make love with you outdoors.”

“That sounds naughty. I might let you.”

He chuckled and caressed her breast. I love you. And after we’re married, I want to make love with you in a tree.”

“That sounds impossible and dangerous. Forget it.”

He grinned. “I love you. And after we’re married, I want to make love with you on the carpet in front of the fire.”

“That sounds romantic. I might let you.”

“I love you. And though we’re not married, I want to make love to you right now. Because my heart is full and I thought I’d lost you forever.” He kissed her deeply, slowly, savoring the taste of her mouth. Another miracle had happened. She loved him.

But there was something she needed to know. His stomach churned because he didn’t want to ruin things between them, but he must be honest with her. “Julianne, there’s something I must tell you.”

“Tell me later.” Her hand trailed down his chest, but he caught it.

“It’s important,” he said. “Before we go any further, I need to tell you something.”

“Marc, darling, you don’t have to tell me about your youthful mistake. I love you unconditionally. The past no longer exists.”

“Everything changed the day you refused my proposal,” he said. “When I got back to my rooms, I got quite a shock. Someone had found me.”

Her brows furrowed. “What?”

He pressed her hand against his heart. “I was forbidden to ever see him. To ever write to him. To mention his name. I couldn’t because it would have forever labeled
him a bastard. I was eighteen years old when I signed the papers giving up my son before he was even born.”

Her lips parted. “Oh, dear God.”

“I never thought to see him, but he found me. Julie, he looks just like me.”

“This is why your father condemned you?”

“It’s an ugly story.”

She held both his hands tightly. “You said someone tricked you. It clearly had to do with a woman.”

He told her the abbreviated version because he could hardly stand to voice what had happened to him.

“Ramsey doesn’t know about the boy, does he?”

“No, my father and Westcott covered it up.”

“No wonder you hate Ramsey.”

“I called on him last week, Julianne. And I forgave him.”

“I knew I loved you, but I love you even more for doing the right thing.”

“I did it for myself mostly,” he said. “That sort of bitterness eats at your soul over time. And he couldn’t have known the consequences. But I thought better of him when he apologized.”

“I’m glad he did, though that doesn’t entirely change my opinion of him. He ought not to have pursued me when you’d refused.”

“He’s done worse things than trick me, Julianne. Horrible, sordid things. That is the reason I didn’t want him anywhere near you.”

“His father is one of the most influential politicians in the nation,” she said. “Why would Ramsey risk bringing scandal upon his family?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe he feels he can never measure up to his father. Or perhaps he’s just a bad apple.”

“Enough about him,” Julianne said. “Tell me about your son.”

“Julie, before I do, you need to know his father is likely to make trouble, but I won’t give up my son again.”

“Of course you won’t. We’ll weather the storm together.”

“His name is Brandon.” Hawk told her everything that had transpired that day. “When he mentioned that he and his mates toasted cheese over the fire, it brought back memories. Do you remember toasting cheese with your brother and me?”

She smiled. “Yes.”

“I sat on the carpet to toast cheese with him, and now he thinks I’m all the crack because he’s never seen a grown-up do it.” He paused. “He sent me a letter today.”

He told her briefly what Brandon had written. “Westcott is likely to threaten me.”

“If he does, it will be because he’s afraid his son will prefer you to him,” she said. “But you and I will make it clear to Westcott that the boy’s needs are the only priority. Brandon sought you out, and now he wants you to be a part of his life. He should have the opportunity to know you. There is no reason the boy cannot have two fathers.”

“I am concerned. Twice, Brandon mentioned his father’s health problems. I’ve no idea what ails Westcott, but as far as I know, Westcott has no male relatives to act as guardian to the boy. I’ve no rights, at least none that I can voice without labeling my son a bastard. He would lose his inheritance, and society would be cruel to him.”

“Westcott had no other children?”

“No.” He lifted his eyes to her. “You can imagine his humiliation upon discovering after eight years that another man had impregnated his young wife.”

“Was he much older than she?”

He nodded. “Forty years.”

“He’s old enough to be the boy’s grandfather, even his great-grandfather.”

He nodded. “And apparently in bad health.”

“Then we have even more reason to be involved in the boy’s life. He needs a mother figure, and frankly, a younger father figure as well. As for fears about exposing the circumstances of his birth, all we need do is claim he is a distant cousin of yours. The aristocracy does it all the time. People may guess, but they will never openly question or scorn him.”

“I keep thinking something will happen to snatch away my happiness,” he said.

She kissed him on the mouth, a lush, slightly openmouthed kiss.

His cock hardened. She reached for him, stroking him slowly.

He untied the ribbon of her braid. She sat up, shook her long, long hair back, and pushed him flat on the mattress.

“You wish to ride me?”

“That can be arranged, but I have another idea.”

Her husky voice enslaved him. “Oh?” His cock stood at full attention now. He had to restrain himself from becoming the aggressor.

She slid between his thighs. “You did something very interesting with your mouth our first time. And it occurred to me you might like something similar.”

Her hair trailed over his body. It was his favorite fantasy of her. Then she bent over him. As her tongue swirled round and round his cock, he groaned. “You’re killing me.”

Her wicked, husky laugh made him smile. He pushed her onto the bed and suckled her breasts and caressed her slick folds.

She wrapped her arms around him. “Make love to me.”

“One question. Do you want to delay children?”

“No, I don’t want us to delay another day of our lives.”

He eased inside her, sliding in and withdrawing slowly. The whole time, he locked his gaze with hers. He reached between them, stroking her. Her back bowed as a single feminine cry came out of her mouth.