Hush (20 page)

Part Three

Chapter Sixteen

Six months later

“Oh Sloanie you look beautiful,” my mom said dabbing tears from her eyes.

“Don’t cry mom,” I said, trying not to cry myself.

“Don’t mess up your make up,” Lyndi chided.

“I’m sorry,” I said, fanning my face and trying to hold back the flood of tears. I had never thought that getting married would be this emotional. In fact, I thought it would be quite depressing. I mean, tying yourself to someone for the rest of your life? It has a tragic, Shakespeare, quality to it.

But the thought of calling Siva Kapur my husband sent a thousand butterflies fluttering through my stomach in endless circles. I was getting nauseas just thinking about it.

“Turn,” commanded Lyndi so I was now facing the mirror.

I thought my dress was beautiful. I had never thought I’d wear a wedding dress. I figured, jeans, a t-shirt, and the courthouse. But Siva wanted a wedding. And now I had to admit that he was right. But I would never tell him that. He’d get too much satisfaction out of it.

The dress was white, none of that off-white stuff, it was a one-shoulder basket weave organza style. Little flowers adorned the sleeve and waist.

“Bend down,” said Lyndi, holding onto my veil. She clipped it into my hair. My hair was up, with a few loose curls framing my face. “Stay down,” she commanded, when I started to
straighten. “You may be short Sloane but I’m shorter.” She then produced a diamond orchid clip and slid it into my hair. “Perfect,” she said. “You can stand now,” she added.

I straightened my spine and looked at my reflection. This was it.

“Ready?” asked my mom.

I nodded. She smiled reassuringly. Lyndi smiled too and handed me a bouquet of green hydrangeas.

There was a knock on the door. Pax, Siva’s friend and best man, stuck his head in the door. I hadn’t met Pax until a couple of weeks ago. He was Siva’s age. He was half Korean with slanted dark eyes and black hair that was bleached on the choppy ends. He was covered in tattoo’s he seemed like a nice enough guy but something about him frightened me. There was an undercurrent of menace that seemed to cover him.
I knew he was a friend from Siva’s
past
. A past that I was pretty sure I wanted to know nothing about. I kind of wondered why he didn’t pick Jacob.

“It’s time,” he said and flashed me a smile.

I looked at my mother and Lyndi.

“Let’s do this.”

“Milady,” said Pax sticking his arm out for Lyndi. I could hear the music starting in the church. I had definitely never thought I’d be married in a church. But it seemed fitting. This is where we met.

My mom looked at me. “I’m so proud of you Sloane.”

“Proud?” I trembled.

“Sloane, you’ve turned into an amazing young woman. You’re brilliant, you’re smart,
you’re
pretty and kind. What mother wouldn’t be proud?”

I gave her a weak smile. My knees were shaking. “I’m so scared mommy,” I whispered.

She smiled. “You’d be crazy not to be. Marriage is the hardest, scariest, thing you’ll ever do. Just remember at the end of the day
why
you married that person.”

“Because I love him,” I breathed.

“Exactly. Remember that, Sloanie,” she said. “Come on, show time,” she said.

Pax and Lyndi were almost to the altar where Siva stood. He looked perfect in his black tux. His dark hair was slicked back and his violet eyes were shining. Even from this distance their purple hue captivated me. He was staring at me like I was the only person in the world. I was sure I wore a similar expression on my face.
One of wonder, elation, happiness, but mostly love.

The crowd in the church stood. It was a small crowd. Intimate. I saw Jacob.
Alice and Mae.
Samantha and Cory. Even Nate. I was shocked to see Rajas and Lila. Even Siva’s mom, Isla, was here. She was in the back with a doctor and nurse. But she was here and that was what mattered. Our families were all here to see us married. It was an unconventional family but it was ours.

I breathed deeply and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. For some unknown reason I had the insane urge to burst into spontaneous tears. Siva smiled at me.
Almost there.
Almost.

And then I was there, at the altar, and my mom was putting my hand into Siva’s.

“Take care of her,” she said in a whisper.

“Always,” said Siva and kissed her cheek. She moved and took her seat. Siva looked at me. “You’re so beautiful,” he mouthed.

I blushed.

The priest began the spiel and unfortunately I missed most of it. Except the part where I said, “I do.” Siva squeezed my hand and slid a large platinum entwined diamond band onto my finger. I in turn slid his band on. It looked like it had always belonged on him. Now everyone would know he was mine and I was his. Always.

“You may kiss your bride,” said the priest.

Siva’s hands cupped my face and his lips came down on mine. My fingers twined into his hair like they had a mind of their own. I never wanted to let go.

He chuckled and pulled away. “You’re all mine now,” he said against my lips before kissing me again. He took my hand and we turned towards the people assembled. Rajas glared at me but even his sourpuss attitude couldn’t ruin this day for me. Siva was my husband. He was mine. This moody man who drove me crazy but I loved like no other was mine.

He led me from the church and into the limo waiting outside. He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Oh Sloane, I thought I would die seeing you in this white dress and now I think I may die if I don’t get you
out
of it,” he smiled wickedly and his violet eyes darkened.

My breathing came out ragged. “But Siva… everyone will be meeting us at the reception,” I said breathlessly.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered conspiratorially in my ear, “we have plenty of time.”

* * *

Siva’s hair was sticking wildly up around his head and several buttons were buttoned wrong. I was trying desperately to fix it. We were a block away from the hotel Siva had taken me to the night he proposed to me where the reception was being held.

“I told you we shouldn’t have done that,” I said, buttoning his shirt.

He laughed. “You seemed to enjoy yourself,” he grinned smugly.

I shook my head and tried to get his hair to lay flat. My hair was beyond repair so I pulled out the remaining pins and let them fall onto the limousine floor. I picked up the diamond orchid clip from the floor and used it to pull some hair out of my face in an effort to look somewhat presentable. I smoothed the skirt of my dress and fixed the one shoulder sleeve.

Siva grinned. “In my opinion that was worth it,” he said.

“They’re all going to
know
,” I cried.

He laughed. “Who cares? We’re married. It’s what married people do,” he grinned like a teenage boy.

I wanted to smack that grin from his face. Instead I just said, “
Siva
,” but he only laughed harder.

The limo came to a stop and he waggled his eyebrows, “Showtime.”

* * *

“You just had sex,” said Lyndi.

All the color drained from my face. “
How’d you know?
” I hissed between my teeth.

She giggled into her hand. “You both have that thoroughly just fucked look about you,” she said waving to my appearance and then Siva’s across the room.

“
Lyndi
,” I said.

She laughed. “Well it’s true. Oh and by the way, that Nate guy is gorgeous. Thanks for pushing us together,” she said. “I wouldn’t mind getting him alone in a coat closet,” she added with a wink.

My mouth opened and closed like a fish. She giggled at my expression but then sobered. “Oh God, he’s coming over here.” She patted her hair and smoothed her dress.

“Hello ladies,” said Nate. “You both look exceptionally beautiful. Thanks for inviting me, Sloane. Congrats.”

“Thanks,” I said, moving in a way that purposefully pushed Lyndi and Nate together.

Nate looked at Lyndi and back at me and then back at her. “I was wondering if you would like to dance?” he asked Lyndi. “If you don’t mind,” he glanced at me.

“Go ahead,” I said and gave Lyndi a shove so she fell into his arms.

Nate caught her. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, “and I would like to dance.”

“Great,” he grinned and took her hand leading her to the dance floor.

A moment later Siva appeared beside me. He nuzzled my neck and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Dance with me,” he said seductively in my ear.

I glanced out at the open ballroom. The walls, like the restaurant, were black and gold and cream.  Here in the ballroom the walls were actually painted black with accents of gold and the floors were a cream colored marble. Everything screamed
money!
at
me. I hadn’t wanted a reception but Siva had insisted. He said if we were getting married we were going to do it right, after all you only get married once. What a crock.

I turned and grabbed him by the shirt pulling him out onto the dance floor. His caramel skin looked amazing against the white of his shirt. The smooth planes of his chest and stomach strained against the crisp white shirt taunting me.

“Feisty,” he said and put his forehead against mine. His black hair was soft against the skin of my forehead. A few strands were hanging in his violet eyes. He was way too delectable for his own good. I put my hand against his cheek tracing the sculpted planes of his cheek bones. Then I ran my finger over his scarred lip and then the dimple in his chin. He was moving us across the dance floor in perfect rhythm. I wasn’t even paying attention to the music and I wasn’t sure how he was. His violet colored eyes stared endlessly into mine.
Violet and gold.

I took his left hand in mine and played with the platinum band around his ring finger. “This,” I said twisting it, “is very sexy.”

He chuckled in my ear. “I’m glad.” He took his hand out of mine and cupped my cheek so that I had no choice but to look into his eyes. “I’m so happy that you’re my wife Sloane. But sometimes I feel like I’ve done too much bad in my life to deserve you. You’re so perfect. So-
light
. And I’m anything but perfect. And my soul is… dark.”

“Siva,” I said, “your soul isn’t dark. It’s anything but dark. How can you not see the good in you?”

He bent his head to mine. “I’ve done a lot of bad Sloane.”

“Everyone’s done bad in their life. No one’s perfect. But what makes the difference between bad and good is learning from your mistakes. You’ve done that Siva. You’ve acknowledged that you’ve done bad and you’ve learned from those mistakes. You’re good Siva. When I look at you I see someone that’s good and kind and loving. I see the man that I love,” I said.

He grinned. “That was quite a passionate speech Mrs. Kapur.”

“I’m a passionate person,” I smiled.

He twirled me some more and then it was time to cut the cake. The cake was a three tier black, white, and gold confection. Siva put his hand on top of mine and we slid the knife down through the cake. The night was coming to a close.

* * *

We were back at Siva’s apartment so we could shower and change before we left for our honeymoon. Despite my mother staying at Siva’s apartment he dragged me into the shower with him. He always knew how to get his way.

Once out of the shower I dressed simply in a pair of jeans and a plain white shirt. I was goi
ng to be on a plane for a while
I ought to be comfortable. Siva dressed much the same only his shirt was long sleeved.

Siva had already put our bags in his sports car.
My mom was downstairs sitting in the living room waiting to say goodbye to us. She had showered and changed out of her wedding attire. She was staying in the room that had been mine when I first moved in here. Her plane didn’t leave until tomorrow morning so Siva had offered her the use of the apartment so she wouldn’t have to pay for a hotel. I kind of had a feeling that Nate wouldn’t need a hotel tonight either if Lyndi had anything to say about it.

My mom stood and tears glistened in her eyes. “My baby,” she said and wrapped her arms around me in a too tight hug. “All grown up and married! Time goes by way too fast!”

“Mom, you’re squishing me,” I said.

“Sorry Sloanie,” she said and released me. She held me at arm’s length and looked me over. “You’re a woman now! A married woman and one day soon you’ll have a family of your own,” she sniffled and patted my cheek.

“Not too soon,” muttered Siva from the corner.

My mom released me and wrapped her arms around Siva. He was hesitant at first but slowly he hugged her back. “You’re a good man,” my mom said, “take care of my little girl. She’s all I have left.”

“You know I will,” he said.

“Ya’ll have fun now,” she said.