I am Not Your Melody: (steamy cowboy romance) (18 page)

What she didn’t say, what she
couldn’t
say, was that she never wanted to leave because this was where Bill was. And wherever he was, Allie wanted to be, too.

Bill looked around. “We need to talk. Privately,” he said, his face serious.

Oh no
.

What was going to happen? Tonight had been going so well. She didn’t want to hear Bill tell her — yet again — how he didn’t want anything to do with her or the bar. How he was still planning on packing up and heading for his hunting cabin up north.

She wanted to pretend, just for one night, that he wasn’t leaving her. That he wasn’t leaving to go live alone…without her.

“I didn’t mean to lay it on so thick,” Allie said hurriedly. “I just meant that I would never want to leave here personally. I wasn’t making a jab about you leaving to live off the grid. I get it.”

“I still need to talk with you. It’s too loud in here. We could either step outside, or we could go up to your apartment.”

Allie nodded. “It’s freezing outside,” she said, staring out the window into the dark night. “You haven’t seen how I’ve decorated the apartment. It’s really looking like home now.”

“Just remember, that was your call,” Bill said. “I’m not just tryin’ to get you upstairs.”

Allie frowned at him, but then she saw Bill’s smirk.

“Ha ha,” she said.

Out of habit, she took his hand in hers to lead him upstairs. But as soon as their hands touched, she but dropped hold of him quickly. His touch ignited something in her. Could he feel it too?

Bill followed Allie toward the back of the bar. He stopped suddenly and pointed to a framed portrait on the wall by the booths.

“This is new,” Bill said.

She couldn’t tell from his voice if it was good new, or bad new. The portrait on the wall was a picture of his Uncle Fred. The town library, it turned out, had been a treasure trove of local newspaper clippings. It was when Fred Edwards had been a younger man, and had his bar showcased in the paper for being part of a pie eating contest.

The pictures showed him, along with the article, framed. An engraved plaque below it said:
Uncle Freddy’s Bar was originally owned and operated by our own “Big Bad Bill” Edwards’ beloved uncle, Fred Edwards. Fred ran a great bar, and he is missed. Rest in peace.

Below that, Allie had listed the date of Fred’s birth and the date of his death.

Bill reached toward the wall, and touched the frame. “That’s real nice,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I like that.”

He swallowed hard, and Allie could see he was holding back tears. Her poor cowboy… So much loss, in such a short time. She knew he’d loved his uncle very much. It made it even more wonderful of him that he’d accepted the changes Allie wanted to make to his uncle’s bar without too much of a fight. Bill was a good guy. A real good guy.

“I’m glad you like it,” Allie said softly.

She unlocked the door to the stairway that went upstairs, and Bill followed, locking the door behind them so no one would follow them.

“Wow,” Bill said, “this place looks great.”

Allie smiled, and gave him a quick tour. Very quick, considering how small the apartment was.

“It’s amazing what a woman’s touch can do,” he said. “You’ve really made this place a home.”

“I had no choice,” Allie said. She had no bitterness in her voice, only sadness. “It’s not really a home,” she said. “Not until —”

Not until you’re in it with me
.

But she couldn’t say that. That’s why she had to stop herself before she went too far, before she said too much. Begging Bill to be with her wasn’t the answer. He knew how she felt. There was no reason for her to lose her dignity, as well as lose her chance at love.

Bill pulled her into his arms, her face pressed against his muscular chest, the scent of him filling her with an overwhelming desire to never let go.

“I’m not moving to my hunting cabin,” he said. “And the guys an’ I have already talked about them buyin’ the ranch.”

Allie looked up at his face, barely daring to believe it was true. “What did they say to you? Zach didn’t mention anything about it.”

“They’re buying the ranch,” Bill said. “It’s profitable, and the money that it brings in will pay for itself. Now the guys can be the ranchers they were meant to be.”

Allie smiled. “That’s exciting. Congratulations…to all of you.”

“They’re renaming the place to Bear Creek Saddle Ranch. Can’t say I blame ‘em.”

Hmm. The new name was simple and perfect. Just right for a ranch run by a crew of hardworking, bachelor cowboys. Much better than the name Melody Ranch, in that respect.

“So are you going to just stay on there?” Allie asked. “I mean… your house is there. Where are you going to live?”

“I’ll be stayin’ on there, until I find a place more suiting to my…current stage in life.”

“What stage in life are you in?” Allie laughed. “You’re too young for a midlife crisis, mister. Don’t go out and buy a sports car or something.”

“I like my truck just fine.” Bill smiled, his gray eyes like the sky after the storm. “I’m in… I’m in this stage where I’m not bogged down in the past. Is that a stage? In the present?”

Bill laughed, and Allie joined him.

“That’s a good stage to be in,” she said.

What did this mean, though — for
them
? “If you’re not living in the past anymore,” she said, “does that mean…”

No. She couldn’t bring herself to ask him. Bill had to be the one who pursued her, or she would never know if he ever would have pursued her on his own, or if she had just talked him into being with her.

I’m here. Falling for you. Catch me, please catch me
…

“Allie,” Bill said, “I want to be with you. Even though it’s scary. Even though I’m afraid to lose you. I was afraid to fall in love with you…”

He paused, and the word
love
seemed to float in the air between them. Had he meant to say it?

“It doesn’t matter that I was afraid to fall in love with you,” Bill continued. “‘cause it’s already happened — whether I want it to have happened or not.”

Allie didn’t know what to think, or what to say.

“Whether you want to or not,” she repeated. “I know you didn’t want to fall… in love with me. But if it’s happening anyway…is it okay? Are you…okay?”

Bill looked down at her, holding her against him. “I’d feel a lot better about it, if I knew that you had feelin’s for me too. You don’t need to love me, not yet. I know it’s fast.” He dropped his head so his forehead touched hers. They were so close. “But if I just knew that there was a chance…”

A thick wet tear rolled down Allie’s cheek. A tear of happiness. “I already love you.”

He wiped the tear from her cheek. “Say that again,” he said softly.

“I love you, Bill.”

“I love you, Allie,” he whispered.

His lips met her own, pressing against her with all the intensity and emotion that flowed between them like electricity. The deep, raw wounds from the past healed as their souls’ connection pulled them closer together.

This kiss, their first kiss after declaring their love for one another… Allie would never forget this moment. She would taste his lips on hers for the rest of eternity.

Her cell phone buzzed with a text from Eric — a photo of the standing ovation for their own Zach Walker down below.

Bill looked over at her phone and smiled. “We can’t let this go to that boy’s head,” he said, and laughed.

Allie had almost forgotten that the grand opening was going on downstairs — nothing was as important as this moment, here with Bill. But she’d been dreaming about the grand opening of her bar for a long time, and she knew that with Bill there, everything — all of her dreams — would come to fruition.

She wanted to experience that, too.

“Let’s go downstairs,” Allie said. “There’re a lot of people who are going to want to hear you say something about the bar, maybe about Fred.”

Bill smiled and kissed her again. “I think I can handle that,” he said. “But as soon as the party’s over, we have a lot of time to make up for.”

His gaze wandered into her open bedroom door, and Allie nodded and giggled.

“Absolutely.”

Downstairs, people were in full swing, dancing to Zach’s music. Eric and Chris had taken over for her behind the bar, filling drink orders with more exuberance than skill. No one seemed to mind.

Allie flashed them a thumbs up sign as she came downstairs, hand-in-hand with Bill. The guys must’ve seen the open affection between her and Bill — they gave her a thumbs up sign right back.

When Zach finished his set, Bill stepped up onto the small stage and took the mic. Everyone cheered.

“Woot!” a girl in the back yelled with enthusiasm. “Big Bad Bill! Big Bad Bill!”

Allie laughed and even joined in as the crowd chanted his nickname and cheered.

Bill motioned with his hands for the crowd to simmer down. “I know my uncle Freddy woulda been real proud of what Allie Crawford has done here. And he’d have been proud of all of us, for comin’ together again in his favorite place in the world. Right here, in Uncle Freddy’s Bar.”

Everyone cheered. Allie couldn’t help but notice some of the older men in the back patting each other on the back, like they were consoling each other, and there for each other. Uncle Freddy’s close friends.

“I have some changes to announce,” Bill said. “You’re gonna see me here at this bar, quite a lot. No, not drinking—”

Folks laughed — she could just imagine Big Bad Bill’s wild younger days.

“Not drinkin’,” he said, “just doin’ whatever jobs my Allie here may need me to do. As for the ranch—”

Zach and the guys started hollering before the words were even out of Bill’s mouth.

“As for Bear Creek Saddle Ranch — that’s the name now, folks, don’t forget it — I’m proud to introduce my boys, my friends — our very own ranchers Zach Walker, Eric Hunt, Chris Green, and Jay Thomas, as the new owners.”

The guys all stood up and clapped each other on the back, tipping their hats to the cheering girls, huge smiles brightening their handsome faces as they took in the thunderous applause.

“You all know they’ve been runnin’ the ranch for a while now,” Bill said with a laugh. “I’m just glad to make it official.”

“You there — with the smile,” Ginger called from the crowd, gesturing toward Bill, “who are you, and what did you do with Big Bad Bill?”

Everybody laughed, shouts of “Yeah!” and even one “Good to have the real Bill back!” sounded all at once in a joyous outburst.

Bill smiled at Allie, and put his hand down to lift her up onto the stage next to him.

“This woman right here has brought me back to life,” he said. “An’ I intend to keep her around.”

Right there in front of everyone in their bar, Bill swooped Allie into his arms, and kissed her.

The End

*****

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Acknowledgements

First and foremost, I would like to give the glory to God for making me a storyteller, for which I am forever grateful! Thank you for sending us your Son.

Thank you to my readers. Without you, I would be writing into the abyss. And a special shoutout goes to the
Shoshanna Street Team
—thank you for your support, and for spreading the word!

Thank you to my assistant Annette Stone, to Jade Onyx, Renee Rocco, Shoshanna Street Team Captain Wendy Dagley, Heather Thurmeier, and to my literary agent Stacey Glick of Dystel & Goderich, for your support.

Thank you to my cover artist, Rob Sturtz, from
SelfPubBookCovers.com
for my cover. I co-founded
SelfPubBookCovers.com
with Rob to help fulfill my dream of having quality covers at an affordable price available to all indie authors, instantly. If you’re a writer, too, you might want to check out the amazing artists we have on board!

Last on the list but not in my heart: thank you, Dear Husband, for being awesome. I love you!

About Shoshanna Evers

New York Times
and
USA Today
bestselling author Shoshanna Evers grew up in New York and also lived in Florida and Los Angeles before settling with her family and three big dogs in northern Idaho, where inspiration abounds, and Shoshanna can’t help but see everything through the eyes of a city girl.

She has written dozens of sexy stories. Shoshanna Evers is best known for The Tycoon's Convenient Bride...and Baby, The Enslaved Trilogy, Overheated, and How to Write Hot Sex.

Reviewers have called Shoshanna’s writing “sensuous, delightful, and sizzling” with stories where “the plot is fresh and the pacing excellent, the emotions…real and poignant.”

Shoshanna used to work as a syndicated advice columnist and a registered nurse, but now she’s a full-time smut writer and a home-schooling mom. Evers is also the cofounder of SelfPubBookCovers.com, the largest selection of premade book covers in the world.

She loves to connect with readers!

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