I am Wolf (The Wolfboy Chronicles) (16 page)

I looked at him knowing he knew the answer perfectly
well. I stared in the direction of my father’s castle, that was where I really
wanted to go, but I knew I couldn’t. I would only put my family in danger by
showing up there. I didn’t know if the Iron Guard was searching for me, but I
had the feeling they were. Officer Alexandru wasn’t a man who gave up that
easily. Once he heard about all the dead soldiers at the train station he would
know I had escaped. I was terrified of running into him again and I feared what
he might do to the people I loved if he found me there.

I turned my head away and looked at Caspian. His
friendly eyes smiled and I knew that he understood my longing to see my family
again.

“I want to go back to where I last saw Catalina,” I
said. “The farm where she was taken. I thought we might catch her scent from
there.”

Caspian nodded. “Good thinking. Her smell will be very
strong there.”

I lifted my head and smelled the air. “She is here not
far away, I am sure, I just can’t seem to find the direction anymore. I need to
pick up her track.”

Caspian put his hand on my shoulder. “You know these
woods better than I. You lead the way.”

While we were walking through my old childhood forests
I thought about how changed everything was. It wasn’t only me who had changed.
Everything looked so different. The war had done that. It had changed towns, it
had changed even the forest and it had especially changed the humans. We walked
past several burned down farms and vast empty lands. We didn’t see any people.
No people walking in the streets or driving carriages. There was no one on
their way to the town’s market. When we occasionally spotted someone on a
property they would immediately hide inside their houses.

I sighed as we passed my childhood friend’s farm that
had been burnt to the ground. Everything that used to be so alive, so
flourishing, it was all dead and gone. The ground where the main building had
been was nothing but a black spot. Some remains of a wall were still left, all
charred. I wondered where he was, where his family was. Did they make it out in
time? Or would they have been better off dying in that fire? I exhaled deeply
and thought of Catalina and the vision I had of her in that dark room. She was
tormented, she was in deep pain if she was in fact still alive. The distress I
sensed coming from her felt like torture to me.

I looked at Caspian and began wondering about my own
mortality. I had been shot on several occasions and had taken a severe beating
from Alexandru, yet I was stronger than ever. Caspian had lived for thousands
of years. How much sorrow, how much torture had he had to endure? How many
loved ones had he seen die? He had talked about dying. Did that mean he wasn’t
immortal?

Caspian sensed my wondering and stopped. He turned his
head and looked at me. “Living the life of the wolf has its advantages and its
downsides,” he said. “The good thing is that you cannot be killed by most
things that can kill humans. But there are a few things you should be aware off.
The lust for human flesh, you already know about, so I won’t go deeper into
that. But there are other things that might kill you. A silver bullet can kill
you. It is the worst of all deaths since it is a slow and extremely painful way
to go. The silver goes into your bloodstream and one by one your organs shut
off when the silver reaches them but you’re still awake and aware of what is
happening. The silver will spread in your body and eat you up slowly within a
couple of hours. Once it enters your body you can’t get it out. On another note
you can also starve to death. The wolf is hungry and needs a lot of food and if
it doesn’t get it you will die. If starved for too long the wolf will take over
the human and take complete control and you will not turn back to your human
form any longer. You will remain the wolf until it dies from starvation.”
Caspian began walking again. I followed him. “You have to respect what you are
and never neglect or underestimate your wolf. It has needs and demands as well
and you’re the one who is supposed to take care of it. When I’m gone you will
be able to ask the book for any advice you’ll need.”

The book! I had forgotten all about the book. I took
off my sack and took it out. The golden paw on the front glowed strongly at my
touch. “I completely forgot about the book,” I said and handed it to Caspian.
“Here you go. It’s yours, isn’t it?”

Caspian shook his head. “I have no need for it
anymore. That’s why I left it with Camelia. I knew she would keep it until
someone needed it again. It led you to it. It chose you. It’s yours.”

I stared at the book. “What is it anyway?”

“It’s The Ancient Book of Wolves. We’re the only ones
who can read it. It was given to me by the man who turned me many, many years
ago. It tells you all you need to know. It can also tell you about the wolf
inside of you. You know, our species goes further back than the humans. We were
here long before them. Once they appeared we lived side by side and no evil was
among us. But they began evolving and we withdrew to the forests and kept to
ourselves as they began developing malice along with all their progress. Greed
soon flourished among them and was soon followed by strife and resentment. We
didn’t want to take any part of that so our pack drew away from the humans.
They became many and soon they were fighting each other. We try to stay out of
their problems. Our pack believes that strife only leads to evil. We try to
keep at peace with ourselves.”

“A pack? There are others like us? There is a pack?”

“Well, we are not as united as we used to be. Many
have become loners like me, but yes some do live in packs around the world, but
not many of us are left. Plus some have turned to evil. It’s the human nature
in them. You need to control that as well, you know. Just like the humans we
can become infested with the malice of this world. Some wolves eat human flesh
and let it drive them to evildoing.” Caspian shook his head heavily. “I don’t
know what is to become of this forsaken world. Evil has such a stronghold on
people and now on wolves as well.”

I looked down at the book and felt suddenly so small
and insignificant. Unworthy even. I too had tasted the forbidden meat and
feared it was about to drive me to evil as well.

“But how come I can’t read the book? You said you and
I could read it.”

“Well, maybe the time isn’t right just yet. It will be
available to you once you need it the most.”

“Do all wolves have a book like this?”

Caspian laughed. “Oh no. Most wolves wouldn’t be able
to handle the truth in this, they would use it for wrong. I am giving it to you
because I know you will treat it with respect. This book contains wisdom passed
to us from our forefathers. Not many people or wolves will be able to know such
wisdom without using it improperly. Don’t ever let this book fall in the wrong
hands. It gives great powers to its owner. Someone evil might use that wrongly
to try and rule over others. And we don’t do that. We don’t rule over each
other. We live in harmony and respect one another. There is a distinct difference.”
Caspian’s eyes saddened. “At least we used to.”

“So why are you no longer with your pack? You said you
had become a loner, why aren’t you with your people?”

“They were among those who turned to the dark side. I
used to be the Alpha male of my pack, but they cast me out. My closest friend
and advisor Mantin convinced the rest that I was keeping something from them,
that eating human flesh wasn’t bad for them, it was in fact something that
would give them wisdom and make them powerful beyond measure. Mantin was
certain that we should rule over the humans since we were so much stronger than
them. He believed that if we should ever rule over the other wolves in this
world, that if we were the first to eat human meat and drink their blood, we
would be the most powerful. He told my pack that they had been deceived. So he
brought in a human man and they all feasted upon him one night. I had to leave.
There wasn’t anything I could do. They were blinded by his words and the desire
for the human flesh and so they put the curse upon themselves. They chose the
life they have now. Since then I have stayed far away from other wolves, until
I ran into you. I knew you were different right away.”

“What do you mean?”

Caspian smiled again. “You are good all the way
through, Sami. If anyone can resist the temptation of the human flesh, it is
you.”

 
I exhaled
in confusion. He had such high hopes for me, I was filled with guilt and shame
for having let him down. I decided then I could never tell him the truth of
what I had done, I couldn’t disappoint him.

“No let’s find your mate,” Caspian said.

“My what?”

“Your mate. You’re meant for each other; you and
Catalina, don’t you know that by now?”

“I thought I was only rescuing her to bring her back
to her people.”

“That you are, but haven’t you wondered why you have
such a strong connection, such a strong bond?” Caspian asked with a grin.

“I have, but ...”

“Well there you have it. Every wolf has a mate that he
is destined to be with. Yours is Catalina.”

“How do you know?”

Caspian stopped and grabbed the book out of my hands.
He held it into the air. I noticed it glowed strongly in his hands.

“It says so in here.”

Caspian handed the book back to me and I stared at it
for several minutes before I put it back in my sack. Then we continued our
walk. I was more confused than ever, but also knew somehow that it was true. I
did feel very connected to Catalina and had done so ever since I lay my eyes
upon her for the first time in the forest. I had felt extremely protective of
her not knowing why, when she was nothing but a stranger to me.

Caspian ran up a hill and I followed. “I recognize
these parts,” he yelled. “From the night I followed you and Catalina to the
barn where you hid all night.” He looked like he enjoyed feeling the icy wind in
his face and closed his eyes while taking in a deep breath. “I smell her, Sami.
I smell her.”

I followed him up the hill and spotted the farm and
the barn in the distance. It still stood like it had done when I had last been
there. It looked abandoned.

“Come,” Caspian said and began to run downhill. “Let’s
find her track.”

I
caught Catalina’s scent
very
strongly around the barn and where I saw her being dragged away by Officer
Alexandru. I wondered if he had kept her with him all this time, if she had in
fact been in the same place as I had when he interrogated me. Or had he sent
her on a train like me? Was she in one of those camps?

I took in a deep breath in the same spot where the
black car was parked before it carried Catalina away. Then I closed my eyes and
saw her before me. I saw what I had seen that morning, I saw her being picked
up and carried towards the car. But even more than that I felt what she had
felt at that exact moment. I felt her anger, her desperation, and her distress.
 
Then I had a vision of her inside of the
car as it drove off. Alexandru held her down, while she screamed and kicked.
Then he slapped her across her face. It hurt and I moaned, feeling the pain.
Then I saw myself looking at her, while the soldiers held me back and I heard
her cry my name.

Sami. Sami.

Then another slap hit her face and she fell back into
the seat, screaming loudly. Alexandru was whistling while they drove down the
road. Catalina looked up at him with revulsion and disgust, but that only made
him laugh and whistle louder in a cheerful tune. Then he leaned over and pulled
her closer. They were face to face. It made me angry, almost torn with fury.
Before they put something over her eyes, she looked back one last time at the
empty silent street where she had last seen me and wondered if I would make it.
Would she?

Then everything went black and all she could hear was
Officer Alexandru whistling.

Blind for the first time in her life she soon lost all
sense of time and space. She felt a gloved hand on her leg and then the heavy
breath on her face. The hand was searching, exploring her leg while the
breathing became heavier and was soon panting.

“You’re mine now, princess,” he whispered. “I’ll have
my way with you.”

Then he laughed, while the car turned and turned in
what felt like an endless ride. Catalina wondered where they were taking her.
She listened carefully for sounds to reveal her destination, but heard nothing
but the car’s engine and the voice of Officer Alexandru and his driver. Then she
heard gravel underneath the tires and soon the car came to a stop. She heard
talking, lots of low voices then heard the doors of a gate squeak open and shut
behind them after they drove through. The car came to another stop. Hands on
her body pulled her out, pushing her to walk forward. She took just one step
before she felt the first blow strike her in the stomach and she fell to her
knees, the air knocked out of her. Two men lifted her by her arms and dragged
her up a set of stairs then across the floor. The acoustics of the room sounded
like it was a big building somewhere. One with high ceilings, I noted.