Authors: HT Pantu
“
Go on, what did ye do?
” I could basically hear Theo shaking his head at me.
I smiled even though there was nobody to see the melancholy it was tinged with. “Ye know, I know gay men that don’t like t’ gossip as much as ye do?”
“
Yeah? Well there has t’ be some benefits t’ having a gay best friend, eh? I’m in touch with my feminine side, the girls dig it. What do ye city kids call it? Metro?
”
Theo was the same age as me and the least “metro” person I could think of; he drove a mud colored jeep so that he didn’t have to clean it, wore jumpers his Gran knitted, and dressed mostly for his job—which as a farmer required him to wear things he didn’t mind getting covered in shit. With the exception of his love of gossip, cheesy pop music and tendency to turn into a mother-hen where I was concerned, he was the straightest person I knew in personality and appearance. But still, it made me laugh for the first time in a few days.
“Sorry for bailing on ye, man. But ye know what she’s like when she’s got one on her. Best t’ give her some space and let her chill out.” Actually I was giving her space because I was pissed with her almost as much as she was pissed with me. I don’t care what she thought had gone on, we were supposed to stick together, but she abandoned me and sided with Trystan-
fricking
-Jackson, of all people. It made my blood boil and I needed the alone time to chill out as much as she did.
“
Aye, that I do. Well drive safe, and ye owe me a beer next time yer back.
”
“Sure thing, Theo. See ye.”
I was almost home when I hung up with a lingering half-smile. I kind of wished that I’d just taken the five minute drive to Theo’s instead of the two hour trip to York. He would have let me crash there, and I could have caught up with him and probably got the clearance I needed to sort out this shit with Jorja. But I had wanted to come back to York, I wanted what only the city could offer me.
Ten minutes later I parallel parked into the only free space on my street, loaded my shoulders with my bag and tent and headed to the beaten up town house that was my student home. I didn’t bother calling out a hello because it was really only me and Jason that stuck around over the summer and he was probably at work. Plus, I was kind of disgusting because bathing in the lake had been less fun in the rain, not to mention surrounded by people that didn’t like me very much.
I gave Carmella’s still empty room a rueful glance as I headed upstairs. Penny, Jason, Matt, Carmella and me had lived together since first year, and I’d thought I knew all of them pretty well. Obviously I hadn’t known Carmella as well as I’d thought, because while I was in Canada she’d dropped out of uni with no explanation. I’d come back to find her room deserted and Jason panicking about how the hell we were going to pay her part of the rent.
But that was a problem for next week
;
in fact, it was a problem for any time other than right now.
At the top of the house I unlocked my attic-room, chucked my bags against one of the other assorted piles of camping, biking and climbing equipment, and dropped onto my bed like I hadn’t slept in it for a month—oh wait, I hadn’t.
Right then I had a whole list of things that needed doing. I needed to dry out my tent because it had rained constantly for the last four days. I needed to unpack my sleeping bag from its stuff sack to air. I needed to do some washing, I needed a shower, and I needed some food. Instead, I sat on the end of my bed and made a call.
“Dan?” I said as the guy on the other end picked up.
“
Ide, you’re back in civilization? I missed your sexy ass.
” His voice was sultry and low, and then he switched back to his usual drawl. “
So was it as bad as expected?
”
“Fricking shit. Seriously, what is it wi’ me and straight men?” I lamented as I lay back and stared at the brown stain that marbled the ceiling of my attic room. Honestly, the way things had turned out was probably worse than if everything had just been how it had used to be.
Dan chuckled. “
You confuse them.
”
“Meh, no shit, are ye free?”
What
? I already told you I was a whore. If Dan wasn’t free I had other guys I would try, but Dan was my preference because he was one of the two guys I didn’t mind going bottom for, and unlike Echo, Dan didn’t mind switching—I wasn’t entirely sure what I was in the mood for.
His tone dropped a note as he realized this wasn’t just a social call and he chuckled again. “
I just got in from a run, give me forty minutes.
”
“Sure, I need t’ shower anyway.” I ran a hand through my caked hair.
“
Cool, see you in a bit, then, Ide,
” Dan said as he hung up, and his tone held all the promise and anticipation that I wanted to hear right now.
This was my life, my phone contacts full of fuck buddies from whom I could pick and choose whatever took my fancy, all of them more than happy to accommodate me. I didn’t need to worry about some inexperienced teenager coming out of the closet, and I certainly didn’t need to concern myself with some bi-curious/in-denial straight guy. In a few months, I’d have forgotten all about the stupid Jackson brothers once again. And next year I’d be making damn sure I was somewhere else.
At least that was the plan.
I
T
WAS
eleven thirty and dark when I let myself in the house with a stifled yawn. I’d left at eight this morning for what was supposed to be an easy two hours at the gym, followed by ten ’til four of lectures and “no longer than two hours” of work—I should have known better. Next time Meredith begged me for a midweek work gig I was going to tell her no. Mind you, I distinctly remembered trying to tell her no this time.
I headed straight for the kitchen, because I was starving and exhausted and all I wanted was a bowl of cereal and my bed. But of course, every bowl in the house was dirty. I suppressed a shudder as I poured away the solid brown mass that may or may not have been the once chocolaty remains of Coco Pops.
“Aw, princess going to be sick?”
I stilled for just a moment, because James was exactly what I
didn’t
want to deal with right now. James was the guy we’d found to fill Carmella’s room. We’d had interviews back in August, and I had wanted the quiet girl, but I had been outvoted and we’d ended up with James, with his nasty little brown eyes and boring brown hair and a bit of belly. Who, incidentally, had also neglected to mention in his interview that he was a homophobic prick, despite the fact that I let him know I was gay. I mean, can you get any clearer than “Hey, I’m Idrys, and just so ye know, I’m gay”? I think not. Penny said that he was only mean because I confused him.
Oh wait, where have I heard that before?
“Give it a rest, James, I’m tired.”
He snorted as he hovered at my back. “Aw, you get mobbed by your little fag friends? How many of them were there this time?”
“I’ve been at work.”
I had no idea why James couldn’t just ignore me, but I did my best to blank him, distracting myself with the spider that was crawling up the side of the window as I washed up the bowl and poured myself some cereal. I had to steal Penny’s milk because miraculously mine had disappeared—
again
, also miraculously my fruit and veg had been shoved to the rear of the fridge and was frozen against the back wall—
again
.
I stepped around him, met his small smirking eyes with a blank glare and went up to my room, where I planned to eat my highly unbalanced meal and fall unconscious as quickly as possible.
I forgot to close the curtains, and I chucked an arm over my face as I woke up wondering when I had accidentally changed the alarm tone on my phone. Through one cracked eyelid I caught sight of the shimmery shit that they’d used on me last night, which was now all over my sheets. I pulled an irritated face at the poor decision not to shower, and grabbed for my phone because
what-do-you-know
, I hadn’t changed the tone, I was getting a call.
“Y’ello,” I croaked.
“
So yer alive are ye? I was about t’ call Dan and see if he was asking for a ransom or something
.”
“Ha-ha, yer hysterical. What fricking time is it?” I pulled the phone away from my ear and grimaced as I saw the time. “Have I mentioned that yer a twat, Theo? Some o’ us dun have to be up for another two hours.”
“
Yeah, well if ye answered yer goddamn phone at any other time o’ the day, then I’d call ye then. ’Til then, I’ll call ye when I know ye’ll answer.
”
I grimaced at him down the phone and swung my legs round so I was sitting over the side of the bed. A swig of stale water from two days ago took away the worst of my tacky morning mouth, and I liked to think I sounded considerably more human as I spoke again.
“So, how ye doing?” I asked pleasantly enough. It had been a couple of weeks since I’d last heard from Theo and more than two months since I’d seen him.
“
Nae too bad, just winding everything down after the summer, ye know how it is.
” I did indeed know how it was, and as much as I loved my home, I didn’t miss the work at all. “
I’ve ordered some new front shock absorbers and I was just wondering if ye were going t’ show yer face around here any time before the new year so I could get a hand putting them on.
”
“Shock absorbers?” I pulled a face down the phone. “Theo, yer last ones were sweet, I’ve told ye, ye need t’ get some new bloody disk brakes.” We got sidetracked arguing the merits of his new piece of kit, and really I don’t know why I was complaining when it meant I could have his old gear. It was more habit than anything else and I was grinning down the phone as we chatted.
“
Anyway, the point is, it’s been like two months, Idrys. Did ye guys go back in time ten years and nae bring me with ye? ’Cause yer acting like yer eleven and eight instead o’ twenty-one and eighteen.
”
I contained a sigh as Theo got to the point of his call. Not shock absorbers or disk brakes, but me and my sister, who was still ignoring me two months after Scotland.
“
Jorja was home last weekend
,” he carried on, and the mention of my sister’s name was enough to sober the smile right off my face. “
When I brought yer name up I thought she was going t’ scratch ma eyes out. It’s been two fricking months, Ide. Ye guys never fall out fer this long, not even when we were kids. So can ye just hurry up and apologize already?
”
I didn’t know what was more frustrating, the fact that my sister wasn’t talking to me over something that had nothing to do with her, or that despite the fact that I was still annoyed with her, I would have apologized weeks ago if she’d answered my calls. But she wouldn’t pick up the phone, so I’d stopped trying.
“I’ve nothing t’ apologize for. She’s the one that wouldn’t answer my calls.” I sounded like the child Theo was accusing me of being. But seriously, Jorja had no reason to be mad with me still. In fact, it was me that should be mad at her after she basically betrayed me by siding with Trystan. I mean, we always had each other’s backs—or we were supposed to.
Theo sighed. “
I seriously doubt that ye aren’t at least mostly in the wrong. But listen
,” he continued before I could complain. “
This is how girls work; ye fall out, and then ye apologize even if ye think yer in the right. It makes life easier for everyone involved, trust me.
”
“Oh yeah, yer an expert are ye? Ye get yerself a girlfriend while I’ve been away?”
I could practically hear him rolling his eyes at me. “
At least I’ve had more than two relationships in ma life. Learn t’ take some advice, yer twat.
”
“Fine, fine. Don’t get yer knickers in a fricking twist. I’ll call her again, but I bet she won’t answer.” I realized I was pouting at the phone and let out an irritated huff. There was a reason I preferred men over women, and yet here I was taking advice on females so I could make up with my damned sister; the irony was painful. “Ye know yer as bad as she is sometimes. God save me if ye two ever get yer asses into gear and become a couple.”
Theo grunted. “
Yeah? Maybe we’d be able t’ drag ye into something like a reasonable person, eh?
”
“Ha-fricking-ha.” I
was
a reasonable person, I just liked sex and didn’t want to be tied down in a relationship that was going to end predictably. This way I could do what the hell I liked, as could everyone else, and we could all be happy.
“
Speaking o’ dragging ye into a reasonable person, how’s Dan? He got fed up of ye yet? Or vice versa.
”
I chuckled because the idea was faintly ridiculous; mine and Dan’s little arrangement kept us both happy and out of trouble, and Dan was about as likely to suddenly settle down as I was. “He’s fine, pulling double shifts at the bar. I’m supposed to be seeing him tomorrow, I’ll give him a kiss from ye.”
Theo snorted and was distracted by a commotion on his end of the phone. Despite both of them being friends with me, Dan and Theo didn’t get on all that well. Theo tolerated Dan as the lesser of two evils, and Dan thought Theo was just another in-denial straight guy and got pissed off when Theo didn’t get wound up by his antics. It wasn’t generally too much of an issue because it wasn’t that often that Theo could get the time off from the farm to come to York, and I certainly wasn’t about to take Dan home.
“
And how’s that dickhead downstairs?
” Tess’s barking had ceased in the background and Theo returned his attention to the call with a full dose of un-tempered disdain.
“Same-same,” I lied.
I hadn’t even meant to mention James to Theo because the guy worried too fricking much. But the last time Theo had called bugging me to come home for the weekend for some form of mountain biking related activities, I’d been up early and making breakfast. I’d cursed when I’d found my previously unopened yoghurt lounging in the top of the bin, opened, crushed and mixing with someone’s leftover bolognese. In a fit of irrational irritation I’d ended up telling Theo what was going on.