I Kissed Dating Goodbye (25 page)

But that night Dad encountered something different. He clearly sensed God speaking to him. "Gregg, don't call her."

God had spoken. My dad obeyed.

The rest, as they say, is history confusing and messy

Though it's hard to imagine, someday I'll tell my children the story I'm writing with my life today. But that realization does little to save me from the puzzling maze called now. "History never looks like history when you're living through it," says John Gardner. "It always looks confusing and messy, and it always feels uncomfortable."

As I stand on this side of matrimony with no potential mate in sight, I'm right in the middle of the messiness and confusion. I still have so many questions. Will I know when I'm walking through the story for the first time? Will I recognize the event that will begin the chapters of my love story with my mate?

230 joshua harris

Billy Graham--William Martin,

A Prophet with Honor: The Billy Graham Story (new York: William Morrow and Company, 1991), 107.

chapter?

The Room--Joshua Harris, "The Room," New Attitude (spring 1995), 31. Reprinted with permission.

chapters

C. S. Lewis--C. S. Lewis, The

Four Loves, 66. chapter 10

Elisabeth Elliot--Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity, 31.

Stephen Covey--Stephen Covey, A. Roger Merrill, and Rebecca R. Merrill,

chapter 12

Catherine Vos--Catherine Every Vos, The Child's Story Bible (grand Rapids, Mich.: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company), 29. Used with permission.

Gregg Harris--Gregg Harris, "The Adventure of Current Obligations," The Family Restoration Quarterly 1 (february 1987), 2.

notes 231 chapter 13

Ricucci--Gary Ricucci and Betsy Ricucci, Love that Lasts: Making a Magnificent Marriage (gaithersburg, Md.: People of Destiny, 1992), 7-10. Used with permission.

Mike Mason--Mike Mason, The Mystery of Marriage: As Iron Sharpens Iron (sisters, Ore.: Multnomah Books, 1985), 166.

Ann Landers--Ann Landers, "All Marriages Are Happy." Permission granted by Ann Landers and Creators Syndicate.

Lena Lathrop--Lena Lathrop, "A Woman's Question," The Best Loved Poems of the American People, 22.

chapter 14

Randy Alcorn--Randy Alcorn, "O. J. Simpson: What Can We Learn?", Eternal Perspectives (summer 1994).

William Davis--William Davis, "Reputation and Character," The Treasure Chest: Memorable Words of Wisdom and Inspiration (san Francisco: Harper Collins, 1995), 54.

Samuel Smiles--William Thayer, Gaining Favor with God and Man (san Antonio: Mantle Ministries, 1989), 41.

David Powlison and John Yenchko--David Powlison and John Yenchko, "Should We Get Married?" Journal of Biblical Counseling 14, (spring 1996), 42.

A. W. Tozer--A. Will Tozer, The Best of AW Tozer (grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker Book House, 1978), 111.

Bill Bennett--William J. Bennett, The Booh of Virtues, 347.

E. V. Hill--James Dobson, Focus on the Family Newsletter (february 1995), 3.

Charlotte Mason--Charlotte M. Mason, The Original Homeschooling Series I (wheaton, 111.: Tyndale House Publishers, 1989).

^

232 joshua harris

Benjamin Tillett--The Encyclopedia of Restigious Quotations (westwood, N.j.: FlemingH. Revell Co., 1965), 298.

Benjamin Franklin--Notable Quotables (chicago: World Book Encyclopedia, 1984), 65.

chapter 15

Wycliffe--Charles Every Pfeiffer, ed. Wycliffe Bible Commentary (chicago: Moody Press, 1962), 603.

"Guidelines for Winston and Melody"--Kenneth and Julie McKim, Family Heritage Newsletter (september 1994).

Elisabeth Elliot--Elisabeth Elliot, Quest for Love (grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker Book House, 1996), 269.

chapter 16

John Gardner--Notable Quotables, 48. Dad's Song--Gregg Harris, "It's a Shame,"

1972.

To Apple Computers for the Duo 230. To Don Miller for dreaming with me over dinners of "spit roast, chili-rubbed chicken."

To Greg Somerville and Donna Partow, who told me to go for it.

To Randy Alcorn, who showed me kindness when I could do nothing for him in return. He advised me about book proposals, introduced me to Multnomah Publishers, and offered counsel and encouragement during writing. To Karina Alcorn for reading the first chapters.

To Stephanie Storey, who demanded that "someone read this kid's proposal." To Brenda Saltzer for reading it. To Don Jacobson and Multnomah for believing that nobodies can write books too. To Dan Benson for shepherding, and to Lisa Lauffer for editing. To everyone else at Multnomah who strives for excellence. I am so honored to be on this team.

To Michael Farris for "believing in what is unseen."

To Gary and Betsy Ricucci for providing insight about marriage. To John Loftness for impromptu editing.

To all the New Attitude magazine readers and conference attendees who prayed for and believed in this project. To those who wrote and shared from their lives: Grace Ludlum, Anna Soennecken, and the "Eugene Harris" pen pals in particular.

To Amy Walsh, Greg Spencer, Kay Lindly, Debbie Lechner, Matt and Jennie Chancey, Amy Brown, Martha Rupert, Matt and Julie Canlis, Sarah Schlissel, Rebekah Garfield, Kristine Banker, Rebecca Livermore, and Josh Garden, who listened to my ideas and shared their invaluable perspective at just the right time.

234 joshua harris

To "the gang," my brothers and sisters in the Lord: Ben Trolese, Ruth and Sheena Llhale, Julie Womack, and Sharon Strieker, whose encouragement, friendship, and example were a beacon of hope during the manuscripts final stages. Thanks for enduring the conversations: "Do we have to talk about love and romance again?" Thanks for being real. I spoke from my heart because of you.

To Grandma Sato who has talked me through more than one "girl problem."

To Rebecca St. James for writing the foreword, but more important, for friendship and exuberance about serving God.

To Mrs. Elliot Gren for a lifetime of faithfulness to our Lord.

To Andrew Garfield, my accountability partner and brother, whose service at the conferences allowed me to give myself to writing. The next hot dog at O'Hare is on me, bro.

To my brother Joel, who let me leave the light on at night while I wrote.

To my other siblings, Alex, Brett, Sarah, and Isaac, without whom I could have finished this book long ago. I'd have it no other way--thanks for the noise.

To C. J. Mahaney for defending the doctrine of sin and the Church. Thanks for the hours on the phone "adjusting."

To Janet Albers, my second mom and a true "co-laborer" in Christ. She managed New Attitude magazine while I was writing this book. She proofed; she edited; she did it all. Thanks for believing in me.

To my mom and dad, who were, and always will be, my first editors. Thanks for raising me to shoot for the stars. Thank you for nursing me through writers block and rejoicing with me over every finished chapter. My triumph is your triumph. My victory is yours. I love you.

To Jesus Christ, "the giver of the gift, the blesser of the

JANKS 2 *5 action, the aid of the project." He orchestrated and guided. He gave me all of these people. He forgave me. Thank you, Lord!

Joshua Harris hasn't lived long enough to have much of a bio, but he's working on that. For four years he published and edited New Attitude, the Christian magazine for home-school teens. He closed the magazine at the end of 1996 to move from his

his hometown of Portland, Oregon, to the east coast, where he's

currently receiving training and discipleship from the pastors at Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland. He desires to serve and bless the body of Christ through the local church; when he grows up, he wants to be a pastor.

In the meantime, Joshua also speaks nationally at New

Attitude conferences and other events. For a current listing of these events, visit the New Attitude website at:

httpcc//www.newattitude.comstjoshua

To contact Josh regarding speaking and other matters, write to him at the following addresses (he loves to get mail, and he welcomes your feedback on this book):

Joshua Harris PO. Box 249 Gaithersburg, MD 20884-0249 E-mail: DOIT4'[email protected]

Bravissimol

I applaud Josh's forthrightness,

courage, God-given conviction and ability to articulate a message that is desperately needed

today what is your

motivation in relationships,

pleasing yourself or serving

do you give yourself away physically or emotionally in ways you will

regret when named?

jraprof the game? Kiss dating goodbye

Daurlltaifin't there a better way? I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Joshua Harris, a national speaker, has gained a following both within and outside the home schooling movement. He was publisher and editor of New Attitude magazine, and is currently in pastoral training at Covenant life Church Gaithersburg, Maryland.

ISBN 1-57673-036-0