I Love You More Than (5 page)

It was Saturday morning and Felicia had been up since four that morning cleaning and doing laundry. Now here it was six hours later, she and the girls were dressed with nowhere in particular to go. It was such a lovely day outside. She could always take her car by Kincaid’s and get that oil change. This way she wouldn’t have to do it before work next week. Or that’s what she was telling herself. Of course it had nothing to do with the fact that Harrison would more than likely be there.

“Alright ladies lets hit it! We’ll go get an oil change and maybe grab some lunch somewhere while we’re out.”

Glendale MO was a nice, family friendly suburb of St Louis. Many of Felicia’s childhood friends had moved away going off to college never to return. But Felicia loved it. She had the best of both worlds. City living when she wanted it. St. Louis wasn’t far…just inside of twenty minutes on a good day. But a lot of her peers felt this side of the Midwest was a little too slow paced for them. Felicia felt Glendale was one of the best places to raise a family. Her parents lived seven minutes away from her.

All throughout her school years from elementary through college, Felicia and Harrison’s sister Emma had been joined at the hip. There was nothing one wouldn’t do for the other and there were no secrets between them. When David came into her life at first everything had been perfect. Too perfect many had voiced to her. Felicia, for the first time in a long time felt loved. It was truly a heady feeling. When friends and family started to witness and hear about the awful treatment she was receiving Felicia was forced to go on the defensive.

What else could she do? She had two kids who would want to marry a woman with two kids unless they were his? Soon her relationships became so strained a lot of them ceased. Analia, Hailey and Saroya had all made vows not to discuss David. Meaning Felicia had no one to confide in. Things didn’t go so smoothly with Emma. She loved fiercely and knew of no other way. Felicia failed to see her value, Emma had told her. She needed to get rid of David in order to put her and the girls first. At the time all Felicia had wanted was to be a family regardless of the cost. Emma told her she couldn’t hang around, continuing to be a spectator while that douche bag treated her sister like shit.

Emma still sent Felicia and the girls cards on the holidays and their birthdays and Felicia did the same. She missed her sister-friend and their relationship greatly. Running into their parents always felt like a family reunion. She always made time for them when she saw them. They had been a second set of parents to her after all while growing up.

Even though Emma had to step away from their friendship, Mr. & Mrs. Kincaid never treated her differently. Neither had her siblings. Harrison had just opened his first shop under his chain when they’d stopped speaking and Felicia was due a tune up. She had spent a month trying to psyche herself into going. Finally giving up she went to a big chain for service. It was just her luck that Harrison happened to be driving by. Felicia heard the screeching of tires and horns honking. Next thing she knew Harrison was standing in front of her asking if she’d gotten lost and forgot where his shop was located?

Felicia was so embarrassed she’d been caught she couldn’t look at him. That was one of the only times Harrison had physically touched her. He lifted her chin forcing her to look him his eyes.

“Do you remember when you and Emma didn’t talk for a week in high school?” he asked her.

Of course she remembered, it was their first big fight. “Yes. I remember.”

“And do you remember I’d just gotten a car and one of the stipulations was that I had to take you and Emma home after school. Every day?”

“Yes I remember.”

“And did I ever once let the fact that you two were on the outs keep me from fulfilling my promise?” Harrison asked in his deep baritone voice.

“No it didn’t.”

“Then, I’ll be seeing you in a few minutes then.” And with that he got back into his truck and left the lot. Felicia following a few cars behind him.

****

When Felicia pulled into the carousel the manager was on his way to ask what services were needed when Harrison intercepted him.

“Wow, today must be my lucky day! A car full of pretty ladies coming into my shop on this beautiful Saturday morning.” Felicia was hoping she was succeeding in presenting an unfazed outwardly appearance. Because she was gushing on the inside from his flattery. Harrison had his arm on the roof of the car and was leaning into her window to talk to the girls.

“You’re funny!” Elena told Harrison as she was attacked by rush of giggles. Elena’s laughter and clear delight made Harrison’s smile spread wider, exposing his dimples one could barely ever catch a glimpse of.

Turning his gaze onto Felicia he asked “What can I do you for?” Harrison knew by the deer in the headlights look Felicia was giving him, his question did what he intended it to do.

“Felicia?”

“Oh, um yeah, it’s time for me to get a tune up. I mean an oil change.” If he only knew how true her first statement was.

“I think I can help you with that. Although I must warn you that I never rush on a job. Always make sure to take my time and inspect all the nooks and crannies.” Harrison’s tongue chose that minute to sneak out and moisten his bottom lip. “I’d hate for you ladies to miss out on enjoying the day by having to spend it inside waiting for your car to be finished.” Harrison stated as he opened Felicia and Dana’s doors. “Why don’t I have Chad work on you guys’ car and we go to Forrest Park and have a picnic? What do you think?’ Harrison asked looking at Dana and Elena.

“Oh can we mommy? Please?” Dana asked. Felicia knew she was boxed into a corner if Dana was calling her mommy.

“Yeah please mommy? I want to go to Forrest Park for a picnic!” Elena decided to co-sign with her sister.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to take you away from work.”

“I’m positive, I was just finishing up for the day anyway. Give me a minute to make a call and we can head out. Come on, I’ll let you in the truck.” Harrisonw walked them over to his Ford F350, opened the doors for them and assisted everyone into his monstrous pickup. “Be right back!”

One stop later they found themselves parked and walking through the park. Searching for that perfect spot to spread their blanket out at. Harrison had called a local deli and had them throw together a picnic lunch for them to enjoy. Elena declared them to be in the perfect spot under a shade tree. Felicia couldn’t agree more and they set to fixing up their area.

The girls were still full from breakfast. Electing to play first on the huge playground fifty feet away. Elena wanted to fly high and high did she fly on the swings. Thirty minutes later there was light sheen present on his face and Harrison was able to break away joining Felicia on the blanket where she lay watching them.

“So how did week one of you being lead designer go LiLi?”

Felicia smiled at hearing her childhood nickname. “It went great H! I mean I don’t think it could have gone any smoother had it been planned. Jenna the new assistant is amazing. Our clients have been more than accepting of the transition.”

“Of course it did and of course they were! I told you that you would rock at it. You’re a very talented woman. Did David take you out to celebrate?”

Harrison hated to mention David, but he had to in order to get a handle on how Felicia felt about David before he could even attempt to let his intentions be known. At the mention of David’s name, Felicia’s smile extinguished, leaving nothing behind but ash.

“No.” Harrison thought that would be the only response he would get. She was so focused on pulling at the grass in front of her. “David feels that I shouldn’t get used to being in this position. It’s only temporary after all.”

Harrison had to use everything within him not to show the anger and dislike he held towards David. Felicia deserved so much better. He’d love nothing more than to show her what all she deserved.

“You know that he’s full of shit right? You’re great at what you do Felicia. Don’t let his hang ups and insecurities take the joy out of what you do. You are more than qualified to be a lead designer at Tom Rich! Mark my words, you’ll be bringing them major business with your talent.”

“Thanks H. That’s so nice of you to say.” Felicia found herself blushing at his compliment. Had she been looking at him, she would’ve seen the look of tenderness that crossed his face when she called him by the nickname she’d given him long ago.

“No need to thank me, it’s the truth. Speaking of truth, why are you still with that jerk Felicia? Honestly, I know you have to know you deserve better than that bag of bones, right?”

Taking a deep breath, Felicia found herself having a discussion about a topic she was hoping to forever ignore with Harrison.

“For a long time Harrison, no, no I did not know that I deserved more. When I started to accept that I did, I stayed for the girls. To provide them with the family I, we both had growing up. Now I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth it anymore.”

Felicia couldn’t believe she’d voiced that aloud. She’d been thinking and feeling it for quite some time, but hadn’t voiced her feelings out loud. They sat quietly for a long time, just enjoying the screams and laughs of the children running about and playing.

Harrison had always viewed Felicia as a beautiful, sensual woman. Well ever since she had hit the age of seventeen. Harrison would never forget when he was home on furlough. Emma was making one of her many social statements and going stag to the senior prom with a group of her girlfriends. He could recall Felicia’s image when he opened the door to her that night. She had been stunning. She’d caused him to act like a tongue tied dummy. When he finally regained his wits he had a group of girls’ giggling at his back over his flustered reaction. Harrison could never erase her angelic vision from that night out of his head.

“You know for the longest time I carried a torch for you.” He decided directness was the best way to go. Which happened to catch her completely off guard. Felicia whipped her head up from the grass to look at him.

“What? Nooo. No way. Emma would have told me.” Lord knew she used to bombard her best friend with sixty questions about her older brother. Emma knew Felicia had crushed on Harrison all four of their high school years.

“She didn’t know. No one knew, well except for our folks. Mom and Dad kind of guessed the night of your senior prom. But yes, for the longest time I wished you’d given me the time of day.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Felicia was happy but a little pissed at the same time. Had she known and they’d gotten together back then, would her life still be the way it was now? Or would she have had the happily ever after she’d always sought?

“Because you were dating Eddie Ware during that time. I’d heard you and Emma crushing over him from when I used to chauffer you both to and from school. Why would you give me the time of day when I was deployed? Then I met Chloe and got married. By the time we got a divorce a mere short six months later, you were already pregnant with Dana.”

Felicia thought back to the times Harrison was referencing. Particularly while he was deployed and when she’d first been introduced to David. Even as he’d been portraying the perfect gentleman role for her, she still would’ve chosen a long distance relationship with Harrison. Then when he was divorcing his ex-wife, she was busy making the mistake of trying again to make things work with David.

“I remember when you and Chloe got engaged. I was having dinner at your house and your parents announced it while we were eating. Winston had to do the Heimlich on me when I started chocking on the Brussel sprout I was eating.” She laughed out loud at the memory. “I never did get the full story of what happened between you and Chloe.”

“Is this your way of finding out now?” Harrison asked with a look of both pain and amusement on his face. At the slight nod of her head he continued. “I met Chloe while I was stationed in Virginia and for a while things were great. Well that is until we married six months later. You know I come from a big family. I’ve always wanted to have a big family of my own and made that no secret. So of course after we married I wanted to start working on our family right away. I love kids but I soon learned Chloe was only interested in designing her dream house and being a pampered housewife sans the children. I found that out when I found her birth control pills she’d sworn she’d stopped taking six months prior. We couldn’t come to a median ground so that left me no choice but to file for divorce.”

“I’m sorry Harrison. You would make a great father. No correction, you will make a great father some day! You just have to find the right person.” Felicia finished giving him a reassuring smile.

“What happens if you’ve found her, but she’s still not available?” Harrison asked while holding her gaze. Unwilling to allow her to look away. Felicia’s heart quickened at his question and her palms became sweaty. She didn’t have an immediate response for that question. Luckily for her, Dana and Elena chose that moment to come over and eat.

****

When they got back to Kincaid’s it was closed but her car was finished. Dana and Elena had dozed off in the back of Harrison’s pickup and rather than moving them to Felicia’s backseat, he offered to follow her home and help get them in the house. Normally Felicia would’ve declined, but David spent the weekends in Alton tending to his rental property. And no doubt his tenant too…so she agreed. The last thing she felt like doing was lugging Dana and Elena’s dead weight into the house. When they pulled into the driveway, as expected David’s car was nowhere to be seen. Felicia parked outside the garage and opened the door into the house.