I See You (18 page)

“Why are you not married?” Oh my God, I’ve done a Tricia. No freaking filter; it’s the red wine.

He sinks down on the couch and swigs at the glass. I’m assuming it’s bourbon inside. The honey colored liquid disappears and is quickly refilled.

“I’ve never found the right woman, though I wasn’t really looking either, which is usually when it happens, or so I’m told.” He grabs a slice of pizza, the stringy cheese stretching from the rest before breaking away. He moans when it goes into his mouth and gestures with his foot for me to help myself. “What about you?”

“Me?”

He chuckles at my greed for food; my brain stopped registering anything other than pizza as soon as he picked up his slice. I shovel a mouthful in and groan when the flavors disperse over my tongue. “So good.”

“Why aren’t you married?” he asks, taking another bite of his slice.

“Because I’m so desirable to a husband? Have you seen the way I eat? The skittish behavior, and the way I’m clingy over my cat?”

We both chuckle and I’m relaxed and comfortable in his presence. It’s such a huge step for me. I want to celebrate it and scream it from the rooftop.

After a couple more slices and another glass of red wine, my body tells me it’s time for bed. Thanking Devon for the lovely evening, I make my way home.

T
HE WEEK PASSES WITH BUTTERFLIES
present in my stomach. Every night, Devon or I bring dinner for the other, and Devon keeps making reference to this night being a date, despite the nerves coiling deep in my stomach. I know he won’t expect anything from the end of the night, and it’s comforting knowing I don’t have that pressure. He doesn’t know what happened to me but he knows something is different with me and he doesn’t press for answers, he just accepts that I need to build trust, friendship, and that’s really all I’m able to offer.

I catch Devon’s grin when he senses my excitement. He pulls into an empty space in the designated field for parking. “Ready?”

I nod eagerly, returning his grin before I clamber out of his car. The air is already heady with smells of burgers and hotdogs, candy and popcorn. There’s a variety of people milling around, loud noises and shouts echoing around us. The whole town is decked with bunting, and a mass of stalls are selling handmade goods, cakes and various second hand knickknacks.

My eyes won’t keep still as we meander along the main street that’s been cordoned off for the festival, my greedy gaze trying to mop up everything as we walk slowly.

I look up at the sky to a fairground ride when the sound of screams makes me jump. The carriages swing in the breeze and different colored legs dangle from each rocking chair.

“You like the Ferris wheel?” Devon asks as I gawp up at it.

“I used to as a child,” I reply, stiffening slightly when he grabs my hand and pulls me to the short queue waiting to get on.

“So early?” I laugh at his eagerness.

He smiles, his crystal bright eyes flicking away. “I’ve never been on one. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m excited.”

My mouth falls open with shock. “Seriously?”

He nods, openly admitting his shame as his cheeks redden slightly. “I was never allowed to go with Noah.”

“Noah?”

I don’t miss how he tenses but his hand remains in mine. “My brother.”

I’m surprised by his revelation but when I go to question him again, the ride supervisor gestures us into a waiting car. Devon hesitates but I smile in encouragement and pull him gently. “Come on.” I laugh. “It’s my turn to protect you now.”

He scowls playfully as we both settle into the hard seats. “Oh come on,” he mocks, with a glint in his eye. “And what are you gonna do when the Big Bad Wolf comes, Little Red Riding Hood?”

I feign indignation and pull his belt across his lap, securing him in. I hate the sudden weightiness between us. If this were a movie there’d be some superimposed sparks igniting furiously around us, but it isn’t and I’m not some kickass heroine, either. “I’ll have you know, my singing is as agonizing as pulling teeth.”

He snorts, then grabs for me when the ride starts and our car jolts. “So you’re just gonna sing and the baddie will run away?”

I nod firmly. “See.” I scrunch up my nose and take a sly peek at him. “I have it all worked out. Fear nothing when you’re with me. I’m just going to say, you will never see Batman and me in the same place at the same time.”

He stares at me then starts to laugh loudly. “Why, Nina, are you trying to tell me you have a secret?”

I can’t help but swallow at the sudden twist in my gut. Staring down to the ground when we reach the height, I mumble, “If only you knew.”

He looks at me curiously, but when a gust of wind catches our carriage and it rolls heavily, Devon squeals like a girl. I can’t help but laugh at him, the horror on his face is comical. Then a thought occurs to me and I narrow my eyes at him, “Please don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights?” He grimaces, confirming my suspicions, and I stare at him. “Then why the hell did you come on the Ferris wheel?”

He shrugs, giving me a small smile. “Because I know you wanted to.”

The air shifts around me and I can’t seem to drag my eyes away from him. He is willing to scare the life out of himself just so he can see a smile on my face. A lump forms in my throat and for a long moment I can’t seem to take a breath. His cheeks are red with embarrassment but eventually he turns to look back at me.

“Why?” My voice is a whisper, and with the noise of the wind in our ears, I’m not entirely sure he’s heard me, but when he slowly reaches out with his hand, I can’t move. His soft touch on my face disables me, my heart the only thing that’s moving.

“Because you have the most beautiful smile.”

This time it’s my cheeks that heat, his gentle words turning the excitement from the ride into a different kind of excitement. He’s staring at me, his eyes locked on mine, his soft lips parted to allow for his frantic breaths. My mouth dries when his fingers move from my cheek and into my hair.

He leans towards me and I know he’s going to kiss me but I don’t know if I want him to. My heart is racing, my belly throbbing, but the closer he gets, the more my body trembles, each hair that covers every inch of my skin standing to attention.

The car jolts again as we start to move back towards the ground and I quickly pull back. He blinks at me, a small frown creasing his forehead, but he smiles softly.

Guilt pours through me when I see the disappointment in his eyes, so I take his hand and slip my fingers through his. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit . . . apprehensive about this kind of thing.”

He frowns harder but shakes his head. “Don’t be silly. I would never push you into anything, Nina.”

I smile. “Thank you.”

He nods. “I know you’re really shy, and you’ve been through some shit, but please tell me if I’m way off the mark.”

The car comes to a stop at the bottom and we both climb off. Devon politely thanks the operator as he keeps my hand tight in his and leads me away from the ride. “Where would you like to go next?” he asks, not waiting for me to answer his last question.

I grin at his fervor. He’s like a child at Christmas and I wonder if he’s ever been to a fairground before. Then it gets me thinking about what his childhood was like, but as I open my mouth to ask him, he pulls me over to a stall selling the most enormous cupcakes. Each is different, in a vast array of colors and flavors, decorated in a different way to any other, and all covered with a variety of toppings.

Devon narrows his eyes at me. “Pick one but don’t tell me which one.”

I smile and look towards the dozens of cakes, my eyes hungrily devouring each one as I scan for one that stands out. “Hmm,” I muse.

The seller behind the stall smiles at us both, her attention on us as I gaze across the bright colors. Another couple is stood to one side of us, and an elderly lady is watching our game with deep interest as another couple sidles up.

“Oh, come on, slow coach,” Devon urges with a playful nudge.

“Hey, don’t rush me. This is a matter of great importance. It has to be the right one.”

I grin when I spot ‘the one’ and turn to Devon. “Okay, clever boy. Go for it!”

He nods seriously as if this is a mission of government standards then turns his gaze to the cakes and takes a deep breath. His bright eyes roam over each one, once or twice flicking back to a particular one that jumps out at him but then he stops and grins. “Got it!”

“Ahh, hang on,” the seller cuts in, holding her hand up before she hands us both a small scrap of paper and a pen. “Write it down, then there’s no cheating.”

Devon laughs loudly. “How rude, Ma’am. I am a man of integrity.” I quirk an eyebrow at him, silently reminding him of the stolen plants. “Okay.” He chuckles as he grabs his own piece of paper and pen then gestures for me to turn around. On doing so, I shiver when he places the paper on my back and writes something down. Then he turns around and I place my own paper on his back and write down my answer.

The seller grins when we hand them over, her eyes looking at our answers. She chuckles, her lips pursing as she looks up at Devon. “For that, you can have it for free.” She leans over and picks up the cake I chose then gives it to Devon, who grins and fist pumps the air.

“I knew it!”

I laugh when he hands me the cupcake with the white cat on it. “Clever boy!” I praise with laughter as our audience applauds Devon. Without thinking, I reach up and kiss him.

He’s shocked, his faint gasp heating my lips, but within seconds he melts into me, his arms sliding around my back so he can pull me closer. His mouth is soft and warm, his breath coming in short sharp stutters as a small moan grumbles in his chest. His lips press harder, our needs reaching new levels when his hands frame my face. His kiss is strong and passionate but full of feeling, his sudden control making me gasp and pull back.

He stares at me for a moment then a huge smile breaks free and he licks his lips as if he can still taste me. “I’m hungry,” he says, his eyes twinkling.

The audience applauds our kiss and the heat that flames my cheeks could poach an egg. Devon laughs and grabs my hand. “Come on, I need feeding!” He waves to the cake seller and thanks her before pulling me over to a hotdog stand.

It’s dark when Devon pulls up in his driveway. Steve is sitting on the small wall between our houses.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Devon says. “Steve has still been visiting me while you’ve been at work. I think we need to sort out a custody agreement. You can have him Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and every other weekend, and I’ll take the rest.” He winks.

I smile and shake my head, rolling my eyes at Steve’s cheekiness. “Don’t tell me, my poor frail boy wanted feeding again?”

Devon laughs and nods. “Yup.”

Climbing out of the car, I call Steve and he comes sauntering over, wrapping his furry body around me. “Thank you for today, it’s been wonderful.”

Devon nods but his face is serious as he reaches out and takes my hand, softly linking his fingers through mine. “You want to come in?”

My mouth dries and I blow out a breath. “I don’t . . . really think that’s wise.”

He nods then grins mischievously. “Why? Am I in danger? Do you lure men to the fairground and then entice them back with cotton candy to rape them?”