I See You (19 page)

His eyes widen in shock when he sees the blood drain from my face and I shake my head wildly.

“Shit, Nina, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to . . . crap! What I meant was . . . I was just joking.” He looks to the floor and sighs, his mortification bright on his face. “Me and my stupid mouth. I’m sorry.”

I blink at his overdramatic apology. My heart beats furiously as I stare at him.

“You know.” There’s only one reason he would react like that, and that’s if he knows how far he shoved his foot in his mouth.

He sighs and closes his eyes before opening them and looking at me. “I don’t know anything, but, well I can kind of tell that you’ve been hurt . . . bad. I made assumptions, and by the reaction I just got, I presume I’m right.”

I don’t know how to react. I’m furious that he’s been making assumptions about me, but then, I’m also faintly pleased I’ve been in his thoughts. I’m angry that I’m obviously so open and I’m ashamed by my inability to be honest with people. I’m scared of what Devon will think yet I’m hopeful that it won’t change anything in our new friendship. I like him, he makes me laugh, and I’ve smiled a lot more often since he’d moved in.

“It was a long time ago,” I manage to choke out.

His eyes darken and I’m unsure if it’s with rage or sadness. “I’m not going to say it’s time to move on, Nina, because frankly, it’s only you that knows when the time is right. But I will say that I’m here. Just here. I have no motives, no plan B, or any plans come to that. I will be here tomorrow,” he whispers, “And I’ll be here the day after that and every day, just to be in your presence.”

“Why?” I whisper, my lids dropping as I look up at him.

He leans in and tenderly kisses my cheek, before he runs his fingertip across my jaw. “Because you’re Batman, and that’s freaking cool.” He gives me a wicked wink and grins then walks away to the sound of my giggle.

I stand and watch him disappear into his house. It’s only when a drop of rain lands on my nose and Steve meows loudly that I turn and walk into my own.

I
LOVE THE SMELL OF
grass the morning after it’s rained all night. The sun bright in the sky makes the droplets look like crystals. It’s as if nature is starting again, cleansing the world of its dirt.

Grabbing my camera, I go into the garden where Nina is sitting with the coffee she fetched from the local diner earlier, along with breakfast bagels. My heart thunders against my ribcage when I hold the lens to my eye and look through to see her smiling at me. Her body is so close. The smile isn’t one from afar directed at someone else, or one I’ve been paid to document. This one is all mine, and it’s breath-taking. She’s so unique. Perfect.

“You’re your own kind of beautiful. Nothing comes close to you.”

Her full plump lips drop open and a tear bubbles in her eye. She doesn’t let it drop, she giggles and swipes it away, and it’s then that I wish I’d picked up the camcorder so I captured the sound as well as the image of her laughing, so carefree. She reaches forward and grabs the end of the extended scope with both hands then kisses the lens. “You’re the beautiful one. I wish the world was full of more gentle souls like you.”

I almost choke on my own saliva with her words. She’s blind to the dark shadow always following me, its relentlessness, making my soul far from beautiful. To her, I’m Devon; nice, normal, worthy of her trust, and hopefully, her heart. My sweet Nina is fearful of the world around her but forgiving to it, she has let herself trust again, that works in my favor.

I take the seat next to her and she automatically slips her hand into mine and lets them hang between us. My chest constricts and I’m happy for the first time in a long, long time . . .
since Courtney.

“You need to perk up your pansies.” My eyes flutter at her statement, and for a second I think she’s mocking me for feeling giddy about the handholding. “By your window.” She gestures to the kitchen window, which looks over the backyard. The plants I planted there are all keeling over. “Maybe the sun isn’t reaching them?” she offers, but that’s not the case. They’ve been trodden on . . .
Noah. NOAH!

“I need to go to work.” She sighs.

I raise our joined hands and kiss hers, causing her to suck in her bottom lip. I want to suck on it. I want to suck, bite and experience all she has to offer. “I’ll drive you,” I say, making her chuckle.

“Why? I have a car.”

I tug her arm, causing her to stumble from her seat onto my lap. She gasps but her body soon relaxes into mine. “So I have an excuse to pick you up later for dinner.”

Her head drops to my shoulder and I hear her inhale my scent. “You smell like danger and excitement all in one . . . how is that possible?”

“Danger is exciting, but the only one in danger here is me.”

“Really? Why? Because I’m batman?” she quips, bringing her face from the crook of my neck to look into my eyes.

“No, because you disarm me, intoxicate and utterly beguile me. I’m in danger of losing my heart to you and you not wanting it.” I can almost see the beat of her heart through her chest.

Her hand lays over mine so she can feel the intensity of its beat. “I do want it,” she whispers. “And I pray that I don’t hurt it.” She leans down and takes my lips with her own. The taste of coffee and cream cheese has never tasted so good.

I miss work. It’s depraved and sinful, but the craving to film and document is more real to me than food and water. It’s more a necessity than air but not more powerful than the need to have Nina, so I drink whiskey and take pictures of scenery. I’ve walked to the lake a mile from my house to get some shots of the water. I plan to make a collage for Nina’s room, which is unembellished and rather depressing.

My lips tingle with thoughts of her, and I smile to myself. I’m crazy in love with that woman and she’s falling for me too. I’ve never been more ready to catch someone.

The grass is long, left wild to grow and border the lake which sits still like a pane of glass, the sun’s reflection giving the surface a sparkle that reminds me of Nina’s eyes. The heat of the afternoon sun burns through my clothing and causes everything in the distance to look slightly disjointed, as if it’s a reflection in the lake and a wave is ever so gently rippling across.

I shoot some birds soaring high in the cloudless sky, and some rabbits playing on the flatter part of greenery. It’s like a fairy-tale, this place. I’ve fallen into a scene from Snow White. My nerve endings tingle, and nervous, excited energy surges in my gut.
And there is Snow White.

A dark-haired girl dances across the river. She’s thick in the thighs and tiny on top. Her clothes leave her in abandon. She giggles and screams when her feet hit the water.

Picking up my camera, the touch of it so right in my damp palm, I zoom in. The gradual draw excites me; it’s almost as if I’m pulling her to me on some invisible rope. The magic the lens grants makes my mouth water. She’s wearing white cotton panties but her small pert breasts are on display, her nipples hard and dark. She has a sprinkle of moles down her stomach, disappearing into her briefs. She’s looking behind her, over her shoulder, and screeching for someone to join her. A broad guy fills the frame and I pull away to make sure there’s not a crowd of them and that nobody can spot me, but it’s just those two and I’m isolated in my viewing.

I click the camera, documenting every part of her. The guy throws his t-shirt to the floor and kicks off his pants and his underwear; he’s in shape and around twenty if I was to guess. His broad shoulders indicate he plays sports or lifts weights. His dick hangs between his thighs and slaps side to side like a dead fish as he wades into the lake and kicks up water to soak Snow White, eliciting a scream and a cuss from her thin-lipped mouth. Her panties dampen and show the unkempt hair beneath. Reaching out, he grabs her and plunges them both beneath the surface, causing a ripple to spread like a tidal wave.

When he resurfaces, she’s wrapped around him and they’re kissing. Walking back to the shoreline with her tightly draped around him, he drops to his knees and she pushes from him, lying on her back. I capture them so closely that the goose bumps decorating their skin is caught in the image. He leans over to his jeans, pulls out a condom, and slips it on. Not bothering to remove her wet panties he pulls them aside and rams straight into her.

Click.

Her face contorts in discomfort.

Click.

His body thrusts against her, his ass cheeks tensing and squeezing together.

Click.

Her face relaxes and she guides his hips, lifting her own legs higher.

Click.

He rubs at her small nipples like they’re a magic lamp and a genie is going to pop out. I almost feel sorry for Snow White.

Click.

And he shudders and collapses over her.

I capture her eye roll on film and let my mind wander into the plan Noah could cook up for her. I hate that I miss him.

A chill rouses me from sleep. My eyes open and I’m a little discombobulated.
What the? Crap!
I fell asleep at the lake. I look at my watch and cuss. I have ten minutes before I have to pick Nina up and I haven’t made reservations anywhere.

Grabbing my stuff, I jog back to the house, regretting bringing two heavy as shit cameras with me as they hit me in the back the entire run home. I’m sweating and need to quickly make a change of clothes. I push open the front door, run up to my room and freeze.

No . . . No . . . NO.

A pool of blood stains my duvet, and in the middle of it, Steve lays with his throat slit. My guts somersault inside me and instinctively my hand slaps over my mouth as I stare wide-eyed at the bloody mess. My head feels fuzzy. I’m frozen solid and can’t pull my mind into focus. Nina will think I did this and she’ll run again. Damn it, she loves that cat. He’s harmless, and my friend, and that’s why he killed him. I’m not allowed anyone but him.

I need to dispose of Steve and hope Nina thinks he moved on to another household.