Ice (9 page)

“Hi,” I said, and my voice sounded a little rough from sleeping. I suddenly felt very self-conscious of my appearance. I quickly ran a hand over my head and glanced down for a second. My eyes then darted back up to him and I successfully managed to fight back the blush I felt threatening to work its way up to the surface of my skin. Suddenly I shivered, feeling the cold air caress my face and neck, making me instinctively tuck my arms in around myself.

“You should put on something warmer,” he said, looking down at my sweater for a second. His long fingers then came up near his neck, unfastening some unseen clasp on his fur cape. He removed the thick blanket of black fur, revealing a white knitted sweater underneath. He moved his arms forward toward me, past the
window sill, offering the large cape.

I don’t know why I had been stunned by this offer of kindness. Perhaps that’s because that’s exactly what it was: complete and utter kindness. Total selflessness. Was he actually going to do without so that I could be warm? All he had was that sweater keeping his upper half warm, just like me.

I smiled and waved my hand, saying, “Thanks, but I can grab my coat. You need that to keep warm.” I figured that if he was telling me to dress warmer, he was here to take me to see the Aurora Borealis like he had said so many weeks ago.

I then quickly walked over to the chair at my desk and grabbed my heavy coat from the back of it. I slid it on and put my boots on, and then my pair of gloves. I turned the lamp off on my desk so that if Big John woke Uncle Justin up in the night, it would appear that I was sleeping. I then tucked my hair in under my hood and returned to the window.

Kavick grinned at me and extended a helping hand. I grabbed it and put my other hand on the window sill as I brought my foot up. It occurred to me as I went falling out in a wobbly way, that I couldn’t believe I was sneaking out of the house to leave with a boy I didn’t even know all that well. And, someone who wasn’t totally human, at that.

Kavick caught me in his arms as I fell onto his chest with a bit of a thud. I quickly moved away from him, embarrassing myself and fearing I had hurt him, but he seemed fine, just grinning at me like he found it amusing.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said awkwardly, brushing off myself even though there was nothing to brush away. It was just an excuse to give me more time to get my composure together. I then stood up straight and looked directly at him. “I’m fine.”

His lips spread into a big smile and then he reached past me and pulled my window down. He excitedly grabbed my hand, wearing black gloves that were thick like my own. He pointed up at the Aurora Borealis glowing in the sky above us and said, “You think that’s beautiful here, you won’t believe your eyes once I take you to my spot.”

We stood still a few seconds to take in the streaks of bright green ove
rhead. It was much more vibrant than when Justin and I had sat outside. It had been weak then, barely there, but now it was much later, and the Aurora appeared to be in its prime.

He then looked down
at me and asked excitedly, “Ready?”

I nodded, fighting back what I was sure would have been a ridiculous goofy smile. I was surprised that once again I was extremely excited to see this place I had never seen before. After all, I had been waiting quite a while to see the spectacle Kavick had mentioned more than once.

Suddenly, he took off running, leading me along toward the forest. By the time we had entered it, I was panting. Running in so many layers so fast to keep pace with him was too much. He stopped then and let me catch my breath. He looked down at me as I rested my hands on my knees.

“Was that too fast?” he asked, sounding a little worried.

“Just a little,” I said between breaths.

“Sorry,” he said as I stood up straight. He had that apologetic smile on I had seen him wear before. “We’ll walk the rest of the way.”

I nodded again, liking that idea much better. It was dark in the forest, with little moonlight to light the way, so I was glad he grabbed my hand again to lead. Through the little cracks in the coverage of trees there were soft beams of moonlight that would give the white snow on the ground the faintest glow in random patches.

After a few seconds of carefully winding through the trees, he broke the silence, saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

He looked back at me, his long black and white hair folding over on his shoulder from the movement. I was still a little slower than him, but still holding his hand. He blinked awkwardly and said, “I get kind of busy when the Lights first show.”

I wanted to ask what he meant by that, but I thought that would be rude and obnoxious of me
, since he was clearly uncomfortable. But then I remembered how he said I could ask him anything I wanted and how I hadn’t offended him when we had talked before. So I decided to put that to the test: could I really ask him anything, and was it really impossible for my words to offend him? So far, Justin was the only other exception to the latter, but that was probably due to the fact we rarely had a proper conversation.

“Like how?” I asked, looking him straight in the eyes. I tried to act as if it was a perfectly normal and logical thing to ask, instead of unabashedly nosey. To my surprise, he didn’t seem flustered at all. He looked forward at the trees in front of us and we continued weaving through.

He pushed a branch out of the way with his free hand and said, “My…” he paused as if he was thinking for the word he wanted to use, “…people come together at the first sight of the Lights. For the first week we have these…” He paused again like before. “…meetings and we remember the dead.”

My mind immediately went back to what Molly had told me on the school bus and what Kavick himself had told
me when he had sat on my uncle’s couch, wearing my uncle’s clothes. Unfortunately, Kavick had many loved ones to remember.

I dropped my head, regretting my decision to plow through for information to satisfy my own stupid curiosity. I felt too guilty to say anything for the next several seconds.

Kavick finally looked over his shoulder at me, and to my surprise he had a small smile sprouting from the corners of his mouth. I found myself staring at him, stunned that perhaps I really couldn’t offend this boy the way I did with most people.

“Why are you so quiet?” he asked innocently.

“I…uh…” I didn’t know what to say. I finally just spoke the truth. We maneuvered around a pine tree. “…Realized you have a lot of people to remember, yet you’re out with me tonight, instead.”

A sweet kind of somber smile took over his lips then. He blinked slowly and our pace slowed a little in those few seconds. “Thank you,” he said, “but I can’t mourn the dead forever.”

He looked ahead again and our pace returned to its earlier speed as he continued. “They wouldn’t want that.”

I nodded, feeling that was advice that I should probably take. It seemed like such a strange concept to me, though. However, it was refreshing, and somehow, I knew he was right. But, if I let myself think about it much more, I knew I would break into a million tiny pieces, and I couldn’t bear to do that in front of Kavick. I didn’t want him to know I was a fragile, pathetic, messed up teenager. I wanted to be strong, and I wanted to believe I
had the thickest hide any person in this vast world could possibly have. I knew that wasn’t true, but it didn’t stop me from lying to myself. Somehow, the lies helped me stay together. I was grateful Kavick didn’t look at me again for the next couple of minutes. That gave me more time to regain my composure.

“We actually have meetings at other times of the year, too, but it becomes more of a memorial service those first few nights the Lights start to show,” he finally said, resuming the earlier subject. “We make music, we dance, we tell stories of our ancestors, and we discuss the current problems our people face and possible solutions. The regular topics of our meetings.”

“Such as the person who has been hunting you,” I said, unable to stop myself from connecting the dots aloud.

He glanced over at me again and nodded with a serious expression on his face. “In light of the recent killings, it’s every few nights now.”

Even though we were walking in silence again for several seconds, I felt my hand burning through my glove. It felt like it was full of some kind of energy, like electricity, and that any second I would have to let go of his hand. I didn’t know why I was so nervous.

And then my mind immediately began counting the reasons why I should be:

I snuck out of the house after midnight with a boy I barely knew, and if Justin were to find out, I would be the typical difficult teenager every figure of authority fears. Justin wouldn’t want me anymore and I’d be on my own, trying to find someone who would take me in. But, who would want to take in the wild teenager?

I’m wild,
I thought with a strange air of disbelief.
When did that happen?

I thought wild kids have fun? When was the last time I had fun?

The first thing that came to my mind was the memory of being on the beach with Marcus and Charlotte. Marcus chasing me into the cool water, the hot sun warming my skin from above, my heart pounding, the excitement of the moment, and Charlotte smiling while she called to me from on the sand.
“Run faster! He’s going to catch you!”

And then there was the sensation of being grabbed from behind, being swung up into the air, and down into the water. We
had surfaced at the same time, smiling.

I was never going to see that big, beautiful smile again.

I was brought out of my sad reminiscence of how every girl liked Marcus and how I never stood a chance when I heard Kavick’s voice.

“The hunter,” he continued, oblivious that I had momentarily forgotten all about our earlier conversation, “hasn’t just been hunting my family. There are other families like mine, and they’ve lost loved ones, as well. One of the possible solutions is living as wolves for the rest of our lives. Some seem to think that’s safer. But then there’s me, who doesn’t look exactly like a wolf.”

He looked over his shoulder at me again to show me a small grin. I returned it, unable to help myself. It occurred to me that even though I may not see Marcus’ big, beautiful smile again, I had Kavick’s. He had shown me plenty of big smiles, and as long as I kept seeing him, I would have a replacement for what I lost. I would have a new friend to help close the gap my former one left.

But, that mind set somehow felt wrong. No one could replace another person. Everyone’s different and special. There are no replacements. However, I couldn’t deny the fact that Kavick’s presence made it easier.

“You kind of look like a wolf,” I said, sounding a little uncertain, much like he had.

“Yeah, but my coloring’s off. I look like a Husky. I mean, I am a Husky. You noticed that, right?”

I smiled and nodded.

“I can’t pass as a wolf like my brother Tartok and the others.” He then raised an eyebrow and said, “You’re probably wondering why there’s a Husky in a pack of wolves.”

“Well…not exactly,” I said, surprised by his words. “You said your mother was a Husky.”

“But why would she be one, instead of a wolf like my dad?” The look on his face suggested that it was an anomaly of some kind.

“Well, why then?” I was suddenly very curious.

“This isn’t the first time we’ve had to be careful and go into hiding. My kind has lived solely as wolves before and forgot they were ever human. And then their children never knew they were anything more than wolf. Somewhere in that long stretch of time,
maybe one of my mother’s ancestors bred with a sled dog? It’s the only logical explanation. My guess is a musher had taken in a wolf as a pet, like your uncle, and trained it to be a sled dog. Although, I hear wolves don’t make good sled dogs. There’s no way to know exactly how it happened, there are only theories.”

As I carefully studied Kavick’s face, I noticed he looked almost troubled for some reason. His eyes were hard and looking straight ahead again. He looked like he was contemplating something that weighed heavily on his heart. I was surprised by this change in attitude. I was used to seeing happy-go-lucky, free spirited Kavick.

“It makes me wonder,” he said in a low voice, almost as if he were speaking to himself instead of me, “if I’m actually a wolf that can turn into a human, instead of a human that can turn into a wolf.”

What? Why would he think that?

That’s crazy. He’s clearly human.

Though I had thought of him before as not exactly human, now I felt like it was all too clear that he was human.

“When I first saw you in the woods that day,” he said, “I was out hunting for food with my friend, Anana. We had been wolves for a whole week. Tartok and Anana’s father had been trying to convince us that it was best that we all live as wolves for a year or so, like our ancestors have had to do in the past. We decided to give it a try for a while.”

I felt my eyes widen at that news. A week seemed like a long time to be a wolf. Not to bathe, brush your teeth, not to do any human things like that. The look on Kavick’s face told me he thought it was a long time, too.

Soon I found myself contemplating it like him. Wasn’t it just as crazy for a human to turn into a wolf? What’s the difference? The lines between human and animal became blurred in my mind, and I became just as unsure as he was.