Identical (51 page)

Read Identical Online

Authors: Ellen Hopkins

 

I’ll never do that stuff again.

The withdrawal is killer. Never again.

But I have to admit, I’ve smoked

 

a little bud. Not that much.

I’d probably do more, but it’s expensive.

And now it’s cash-and-carry.

 

I still use food for comfort.

I still purge when I get too comfortable.

And once in a while, when

 

memory intrudes, I still

enjoy a good, deep shave. Oh, come on.

I never said I was perfect.

When I Do Those Things

When I use or purge or cut,

I’m still not myself. Maybe

I just use her as an excuse

to do them, but I feel as if

she

takes over then. The only

difference is, I’m aware

of her. I never used to be.

I’m not sure if I

will

remember everything I did

as Raeanne. I’m not sure

I want to, though Carol thinks

I need to try. And hey, I could

always

blame Daddy. He’s my forever

scapegoat, really. Okay, that’s not

so healthy. But totally healthy

is something I might not ever

be.

One thing for sure. I will break

the abuse cycle. It stops with me.

My children will not live in fear.

I will create a home of nurture

and love, and raise them safely

there.

Raeanne

And I’ll Be Watching

Watching her. Watching out

for
her. And if the time comes

she needs complete escape,

I

will walk for her. Talk for her.

Take punishment in her place.

Some things don’t need to be

remembered. And I

will

hold on to those things for her.

Carol believes she can make

me go away, and I’ll pretend

to let her do her job. But I will

always

be the strongest part of Kaeleigh,

so I can’t let her dispose of me.

I’ll stay quiet, no more than a dark

shadow inside. That’s what I’ll

be.

A silhouette, rarely seen, and yet

believed in. Kaeleigh wants to

believe in me. I am her twin,

forever alive inside her. And

when she needs me, I am always

here.

A Reading Group Guide to
Identical
by Ellen Hopkins

ABOUT THE BOOK

Kaeleigh and Raeanne Gardella, identical twins, live in a posh California neighborhood. Their father is a well-known district court judge and their mother a politician. On the surface they are the perfect American family, but beneath the façade lies a damaged family. Raeanne is the aggressive twin, the one who is sexually promiscuous—giving sex in return for drugs; she craves sexual attention from anyone, including her father. Kaeleigh is the quiet one, the one most like her mother, and the victim of her father’s sexual advances. Haunted by this, Kaeleigh has difficulty letting any boy close and deals with her pain by cutting. Torn apart by a tragic event, the twins’ parents hardly speak. Their mother spends her time on the campaign trail; their father lives at home where he drinks, abuses Oxycontin, and controls his daughters’ every move—from the clothes they wear to the places they go. Both girls have an eating disorder, and as they spiral into more dangerous depths, the story takes a surprising twist. One twin will need to step up. But who?

PREREADING ACTIVITY

What would it feel like to harbor a secret that could hurt another person should it be revealed?

How might you support a friend who had a family secret that would send one of his/her family members to jail?

What responsibility do we have to friends who may be abused by other friends or family members?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

In what ways are Raeanne and Kaeleigh similar? How are they different?

Raeanne and Kaeleigh are drawn to different kinds of boys. How are the boys different, and why do the girls connect with them?

Who is Greta Sorenson, and what role does she play in Kaeleigh’s life?

Raeanne and Kaeleigh have different reactions to their mother’s absence. Explain.

Raeanne tells herself that having sex makes her powerful. Would you agree?

The twin’s father is a district judge. On the surface he appears to be a strong person; however, underneath he is weak. What accounts for his fear and insecurity?

Characterize the twin’s mother. How has she changed since the accident?

Raeanne and Kaeleigh do not seem close. In fact, communication between them is virtually nonexistent. Explain how this lack of dialogue makes sense at the end of the story. Is it more difficult for readers to keep the girls “separate” toward the end of the story? If so, why might that be?

Ian saves Raeanne and Kaeleigh from further sexual abuse by Ty. How might he have known where Ty lived and that the twins might be there?

Raeanne seems to thrive off sexual encounters, and Kaeleigh is afraid of sexual intimacy. Given what you know about their relationship with their father, what might account for their opposite reactions?

How does Raeanne meet her grandfather, and what does she learn from him? If there were a sequel to the story, what might Raeanne’s or Kaeleigh’s relationship with him be like?

Why does the girls’ grandmother call, and why is their father so angry with his own mother?

Both girls are confused by the meaning of love. Kaeleigh comments, “But how do I give what has always been taken”, and later she says, “love is always defined by ulterior motive”. How do these comments illustrate her confusion? What experiences will the girls need in order to understand healthy relationships?

Hopkins places clues to a family tragedy throughout the story. By story’s end, the reader knows about an accident that has driven the family apart and understands events in the father’s childhood that accounts for his sexual advances on his own daughter. Explain the family tragedy and the emotional and psychological damage that is passed down from generation to generation.

Hopkins moves the story forward with the use of flashback. Through flashback, readers learn about the father’s attraction to Kaeleigh and Raeanne’s disappointment as a child that her father didn’t choose her. Flashback is also used to inform the reader about another family tragedy. If Hopkins had not used flashback, how else might she have conveyed the horror of the girls’ childhood? Would another technique have been as effective? Explain.

What can readers learn about the cycle of abuse that runs through three generations, beginning with the grandmother’s alcoholism, the father’s childhood abuse, his treatment of his daughters, and their emotional state? Without treatment, what kind of relationships might each girl maintain later in life?

ACTIVITIES

Research the abuse of prescription drugs. What prescription drugs are most commonly abused and why? Identify popular prescription drug and alcohol combinations that are potentially lethal. Develop a podcast on the dangers of mixing drugs and alcohol.

Choose one of the twins and develop an argument that she has better coping skills than her sister.

Research the characteristics and causes of eating disorders, as well as their treatments, and present your findings using any appropriate media (PowerPoint, wiki, website, blog, etc).

Personal tragedy can strain family relationships. Research resources for dealing with a family tragedy and develop a brochure or website on resources available to families who experience a family crisis.

Guide prepared by Pam B. Cole, Professor of English Education & Literacy, Kennesaw State University, Kennesaw, GA.

This guide has been provided by Simon & Schuster for classroom, library, and reading group use. It may be reproduced in its entirety or excerpted for these purposes.

Be sure to read

Ellen Hopkins’s

PERFECT

 

Perfect
is the story of four high school seniors, all of whom have friends, siblings, and a drive to attain “perfection.” They each have very different goals, and very different ways of achieving them. Meet Cara, whose parents’ unrealistic expectations have already sent her twin brother spiraling toward suicide; Kendra, a pageant girl who stops at nothing in her pursuit of runway modeling; Sean, who uses whatever means necessary to win a baseball scholarship; and Andre, whose real talent seems destined to languish. Just how far does someone have to go to be
perfect?

 

Cara Sierra Sykes

Perfect?

How

do you define a word without

concrete meaning? To each

his own, the saying goes, so

why

push to attain an ideal

state of being that no two

random people will agree is

where

you want to be? Faultless.

Finished. Incomparable. People

can never be these, and anyway

when

did creating a flawless facade

become a more vital goal

than learning to love the person

who

lives inside your skin?

The outside belongs to others.

Only you should decide for you—

what

is perfect.

 

Perfection

I’ve lived with the pretense

of perfection for seventeen

years. Give my room a cursory

inspection, you’d think I have OCD.

But it’s only habit and not

obsession that keeps it all orderly.

Of course, I don’t want to give

the impression that it’s all up to me.

Most of the heavy labor is done by

our housekeeper, Gwen. She’s an

imposing woman, not at all the type

that most men would find attractive.

Not even Conner, which is the point.

My twin has a taste for older

women. Before he got himself

locked away, he chased after more

than one. I should have told sooner

about the one he caught, the one

I happened to overhear him with,

having a little afternoon fun.

Okay, I know a psychologist

would say, strictly speaking,

he was prey, not predator.

And, in a way, I can’t really

blame him. Emily is simply

stunning. Conner wasn’t the only

one who used to watch her go

running by our house every

morning. But, hello, she was

his
teacher.
That fact alone

should have been enough warning

that things would not turn out well.

I never would have expected

Conner to attempt the coward’s way

out, though. Some consider suicide

an act of honor. I seriously don’t agree.

But even if it were, you’d have to

get it right. All Conner did was

stain Mom’s new white Berber

carpet. They’re replacing it now.

 

Kendra Melody Mathieson

Pretty

That’s what I am, I guess.

I mean, people have been telling

me that’s what I am since

I was two. Maybe younger.

Pretty

as a picture. (Who wants

to be a cliché?) Pretty as

an angel. (Can you see them?)

Pretty as a butterfly. (But

isn’t

that really just a glam bug?)

Cliché, invisible, or insectlike,

I grew up knowing I was

pretty and believing everything

good

about me had to do with how

I looked. The mirror was my best

friend. Until it started telling

me I wasn’t really pretty

enough.

 

Pale Beauty

That’s what my mom calls the gift

she gave me, through genetics.

We are Scandinavian willows,

with vanilla hair and glacier blue

eyes and bone china skin. Two

hours in the sun turns me the color

of ripe watermelon. When I lead

cheers at football games, it is wearing

SPF 60 sunblock. Gross. Basketball

season is better, but I’ll be glad

when it’s over. Between dance lessons

and vocal training and helping out

at the food bank (all grooming for Miss

Teen Nevada), I barely have time for

homework, let alone fun. At least

staying busy mostly keeps my mind

off Conner. I wish I could forget

about him, but that’s not possible.

I tumbled hard for that guy. Gave him

all of me. I thought we had something

special. He even let me see the scared

little boy inside him, the one not many

other people ever catch a glimpse of.

I wonder if he showed that boy to

the ambulance drivers who took him to

the hospital, or to the doctors and nurses

who dug the bullet out of his chest. Sewed

him up. Saved his life. I want to see him, but

Cara says he can’t have visitors. Bet he doesn’t

want them—scared he might look helpless.

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