Read If Ever I Loved You Online
Authors: Phyllis Halldorson
She started to walk restlessly away from the couch, then
turned and looked back at him and clenched her fists as she continued,
"He says that he never filed those annulment papers. He says we're
still married. That I'm still his wife!"
Gina watched the blood drain from his face as he stared at
her, a look of shocked disbelief etched in his features. "Why would he
keep the marriage intact all these years when it was
he
who walked out on
you
?" Stewart roared.
Gina shook her head. "I don't know, I was as stunned as
you. He said something about an absentee wife giving him protection
from making the same mistake again."
Stewart rose from the couch and swore with an earthiness
Gina had never heard him use before. "Good Lord, you could have married
and had children without ever knowing…"
His large frame filled the small room as he started to
pace. "Well that's an oversight we can take care of in a hurry. Give me
a couple of minutes to shower and change and I'll drive you to Fort
Bragg. I know a lawyer there, she can get started on the annulment
immediately. I think it can be taken care of in a matter of days."
He turned and took a few steps toward the bathroom before
Gina caught him by the arm and said, "No, Stewart, that won't do any
good. Peter—he—he said if I filed for annulment he
would swear the marriage was consummated."
Stewart glared at her with an all-consuming rage. "And was
it?" he grated.
Gina winced. "Of course not. I told you what happened. I
never saw him again after he walked out of Mel's apartment until
Saturday night at the wedding reception."
Stewart's gaze searched her face for a few seconds, then
with a muffled groan he took her in his arms and held her close. "I'm
sorry, baby," he murmured shakily. "It's just that I can't stand the
thought of any other man touching you, and to know
that—that"— the name he called Peter was obscene in
any language —"has the legal right is galling beyond reason."
The legal right
. The words struck
terror in Gina. Peter had the legal right to make love to her only if
she agreed to it. But after that traumatizing scene in her kitchen
yesterday morning she knew that her mind would never overrule her body
if he came at her like that again. She had to end this farce of a
marriage, and quickly!
She shuddered and burrowed closer into Stewart's arms. She
wished now that she had married him months ago when she had accepted
his engagement ring. It wouldn't have been legal, but maybe by this
time she would have been so passionately involved with him that Peter
could have had no emotional hold over her.
Maybe, but she doubted it!
For several minutes she enjoyed the warm security of
Stewart's firm hard body, but then she sighed and pulled back to look
at him. "Since Peter won't consent to an annulment I want a divorce,"
she said. Stewart nodded. "That will take longer, but apparently it's
the only solution. We'll drive down to San Francisco and see my lawyers
about handling it. They'll put it through as quickly as possible."
It was Friday before she heard from Peter again.
It had been a busy day, profitable too. She'd not only
sold two paintings by local artists, but an art teacher from San Jose
had bought Gina's own seascape, a view of wind-swept waves, white and
foamy, crashing against the rocks below the bluffs on which Mendocino
was built. It had been priced higher than her others and she was
pleased that he had paid the full price without wanting to bargain.
She was in the storage room at the back of the shop trying
to select three pictures to replace the ones that had been purchased
when she heard footsteps on the uncarpeted hardwood floors. She had her
back to the door contemplating several paintings she had set up when
the approaching footsteps stopped and she realized that someone was
standing behind her. She looked over her shoulder and her heart jumped
when she saw the blond, blue-eyed man dressed in a conservative gray
business suit who looked like he was strongly tempted to throttle her.
She spun around and was face to face with the thunderous countenance of
Peter Van Housen.
She backed away and gasped, "What are you doing here?"
He grasped her shoulders roughly and his fingers bit into
her tender flesh. "I can't turn my back on you for a minute can I?" he
muttered furiously.
"I—I don't know what you're talking about," she
stammered.
"No?" he hissed savagely. "Then I'll show you."
With a suddenness that took her totally off guard he
pulled her against him and kissed her, an angry, brutal kiss that
ground the inside of her mouth against her teeth and bruised her lips.
She struggled but he held her in a tight grasp that left her no room to
maneuver and she was helpless to defend herself. Her air supply was
nearly cut off and the more she twisted the harder it was to breathe.
She felt dizzy and in an automatic bid for survival she stopped
struggling and relaxed.
Once she was no longer fighting, Peter's mouth on hers
gentled and his grip on her eased. Before she could attempt to break
away from him one of his hands began a languorous trail down her spine
while the other one gently caressed her shoulders. She shivered as
unbidden sensations surged through her and her arms, no longer
imprisoned at her sides, crept around his waist.
His lips ceased punishing, but now explored her face with
exquisite tenderness. Her eyes, her cheeks, the corners of her mouth.
His white even teeth nibbled delicately at her ear lobes and her arms
tightened around him as her fingers splayed over the rippling muscles
of his back.
He nuzzled the sensitive hollow at the side of her neck,
and the sensations became pinpricks of fire that set her squirming
against him in an effort to placate the smoldering desire that had
robbed her of all reason. Her seductive movements elicited a moan of
passion from Peter and his mouth again sought hers with a tender but
urgent craving.
A voice calling her name finally penetrated Gina's
consciousness and with it her sanity returned. She pushed away from
Peter, horrified by her total surrender, but he didn't release her
immediately. Instead he held her by the arms and there was a look of
triumph on his face as his gaze slid over her swollen lips and her wide
violet eyes, still clouded with passion.
"Now tell me you want to divorce me and marry Stewart
Tobias," he said in a voice tinged with amusement.
Gina was too enraged to speak, and before she could hurl
all the epithets that were gathering in her mind, the Junoesque figure
of Twyla Sisson appeared in the doorway. "Oh, Gina, there you are," she
said. "I've been looking—"
She closed her mouth abruptly when she saw Peter and her
quick searching look must have correctly assessed the situation because
she started to back away. "Oh, sorry."
Gina sprang to life. "No, Twyla, please don't leave!"
Twyla must have picked up the tone of desperation in
Gina's voice because she hesitated as Gina continued,
"Have—have you met Peter Van Housen? Peter, this is my
friend, Twyla Sisson. She owns the—"
"I've met Twyla," Peter interrupted rudely, "but it was
quite some time ago. How are you, Twyla?"
Twyla nodded in acknowledgment but she didn't answer his
question. Instead her expressive brown eyes watched him narrowly as she
said, "So you're the husband?"
Peter nodded curtly. "I see you've been brought up to date
on the state of my relationship with Gina."
That was true. On Wednesday, the day after Stewart and
Gina had driven to San Francisco where Gina filed suit for dissolution
of marriage from Peter, she had gone to see Twyla and once again
unburdened her problems and fears on her friend. Twyla had listened and
comforted her, and had done Gina the honor of not giving unsolicited
and useless advice. Instead she had supplied a shaker of dry martinis
and offered to loan her money if she needed it for legal fees.
Twyla didn't bat an eyelash as she replied to Peter's
observation. "Yes I have, does that make you uncomfortable?"
Peter's mouth quirked in a humorless smile. "Not at all,
I
have nothing to be uncomfortable about. I do want to talk to Gina,
however, so if you'll excuse us we'll go up to her apartment where we
can have a little privacy."
His hand cupped Gina's elbow but she pulled away from him.
"No!" she cried, louder than she had intended. She lowered her voice
and turned to Twyla, her features twisted with anxiety. "Come with us,
Twyla. Please!"
The pleading tone couldn't be missed, and Twyla put her
arm around Gina's slender shoulders and started to walk with her toward
the front of the gallery. "Of course I'll come if you want me to." She
chuckled. "Frankly, I wouldn't miss it."
Upstairs in Gina's apartment she and Twyla sat on the sofa
and Peter sat in a chair across from them. Gina perched stiffly on the
edge of the couch, her hand gripping the arm as she said, "All right,
Peter, you said you wanted to talk to me so please, let's get it over
with."
Peter frowned as he glanced at Twyla, then apparently
decided to ignore her as he turned back to look at Gina. "I arrived at
my office a little late this morning and found a man there waiting to
serve me with divorce papers," he said angrily. "I told you I'd fight
an annulment."
"I didn't file for annulment," she answered grimly. "I
filed for dissolution."
His eyes were as cold as blue ice. "Did you really think
I'd give you a divorce after I'd refused to consent to an annulment?"
The swift jab of his words landed in the pit of her
stomach, and she gasped and bent forward slightly as though to protect
herself from another attack. "You swine!" she hissed through clenched
teeth. "Why are you doing this? What do you want of me?"
Peter lounged back in his chair, and the only sign that he
was not totally relaxed was the deepening lines of strain around his
mouth and the pulse that throbbed at his temple. "I want the same thing
any man wants from his wife—a companion, a lover, a mother
for my children."
Gina jumped to her feet and stared at him. "You're out of
your mind!" she screamed. "Seven years ago you told me you wouldn't
touch me if I were the only woman on earth and then, despite my
pleadings, you walked out on me and I didn't see you again until five
days ago. Now you refuse to terminate the marriage. Why? Surely you're
not going to try to tell me you love me!"
Peter rose suddenly as though jerked from the chair and
walked away from her. "Love!" he spat out, as though it were a dirty
word. "No, I'm not telling you I love you. You cured me of that
adolescent affliction with one well-placed thrust years ago. But I find
that I'm still physically attracted to you, as you are to me."
She drew in her breath sharply and he whirled around to
face her. "Oh, don't bother to deny it," he jeered. "Twice now we have
come together and nearly gone up in smoke, both of us, together. You
were just as aroused as I so don't stand there sputtering."
Gina knew it was true, and her innate sense of honesty
would not allow her to deny it. Instead she turned away from him as he
continued to talk. "I'm thirty-three years old and bored with my life
style. I want to settle down with a wife and start a family, and since
I'm already married to you I see no reason to delay. You're beautiful,
talented, well-educated and sexually exciting, everything I want in a
wife."
Gina was too stunned to protest. Peter didn't love her,
and he knew she didn't love him, but still he wanted to live with her
as husband and wife. He wanted her to be his housekeeper, his hostess,
his convenient sex partner. He even wanted her to bring children into
that cold, sterile environment! The man was insane! Surely he didn't
really believe that she could live like that.
She straightened her shoulders and turned to look at him.
"I'm surprised at you, Peter," she said as she strove to sound calm and
a little disdainful. "Are you forgetting the reason why our marriage
never got started? The picture? My so-called promiscuity? As I remember
you called me a wh—"
"Stop it Gina!" he snapped before she could finish the
coarse word. "I'm not forgetting, I only wish I could, but you had
forced me into marriage on the premise that you were a virgin and too
pure to make love with me until it was legal. When I saw that picture
and realized that all you wanted was my money and social position I
went a little mad."
His hands clutched the back of the chair he had been
sitting in and she could see the muscles flex in his arms. "I'm older
now," he continued, "and more tolerant of your sexual experience."
She cringed at the coldness of his words, and her only
thought was to hurt him as he had hurt her. "But aren't you afraid I
might revert to my old ways and take lovers on the side?" she taunted.
She thought she saw him wince, but if so he checked it
quickly and forced a grin that was more of a grimace. "The thought
never occurred to me. I intend to keep you too—well
satisfied—to have the urge or the energy for anybody but me."
Something inside Gina seemed to shrivel and her shoulders
slumped. She should have known better than to play word games with
Peter Van Housen; no one ever bested him in anything. She rubbed her
temples with her fingers as she said, "You forget, I'm in love with
Stewart. I'm going to marry him just as soon as our lawyers can bring
this dissolution action to court so don't make any long-range plans
about playing house with me. I'll see you in hell first."
She didn't hear him move on the carpeted floor, and she
jumped as his hands gripped her shoulders and pulled her back against
the long length of him. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek.
"Then you'd better dress in something cool because you'll be there a
long time," he murmured softly. "I have a team of the best attorneys in
the west and they have a lot of political clout. We can and will delay
this dissolution hearing indefinitely."