If I Can't Have You (27 page)

Trevor relaxed one hand on the Duesenberg’s green steering wheel and let the cool sea breeze whip through his hair. The last time he’d driven north along the coast he’d contemplated ending his life. Now all he could think of was drawing Adriana into his arms.

His efforts to seduce her had been thwarted at every turn. It wasn’t going to happen again, even though she’d sat silently throughout most of the drive, staring at the illuminated lines in the road.

“Good evening, Miss Howard,” the uniformed guard said, looking over Trevor’s head, when they reached the main gates at Sparta.

“It’s nice to see you again, Kevin,” Adriana said, breaking her silence
. “This is a friend of mine, Mr.
Montgomery.”

“Nice to meet you, sir.”

Trevor smiled at the gray-haired gentleman as Adriana continued.

“Elliott’s expecting us, but I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t let anyone else know we’re here.”

“Is there some trouble I should be aware of?”

Adriana smiled, shaking her head. “A nosy photographer.
I’d prefer that no one, not even the Rosenblums, be told that I’m here.”

“Of course, Miss Howard.” He opened the massive wrought-iron gates. “If there’s anything I can assist you with, please let me know.”

“Thank you, Kevin.”

“Nice meeting you,” Trevor said to the guard as he drove the Duesenberg through the gates and up the winding cobblestone drive.

He pulled the car to a stop near the garages where Harrison had kept his Bentley, his Rolls, and half a dozen other vehicles Trevor had admired. There were plenty of places to park the Duesenberg where it couldn’t be seen. As soon as that was done, he planned to hide away with Adriana.

During the drive she’d told him about Elliott, who’d make sure they were left alone, about Juanita, the cook, who’d fix whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted it, put it in the dumb waiter, and send it up to Adriana’s suite. They could easily hide away for months.

Right now that sounded perfect. He’d make love to Adriana good and proper and hold her tight for the next thirty days. But that would be just the beginning. After the month was up, he’d make love to her forever.

oOo

“It’s astonishing! You’re the very image of your father,” Elliott told Trevor as he sipped a cup of steaming cocoa at the kitchen table. “He cut quite a figure here in the thirties, especially with the ladies. He had an eye for them. Of course, they had an eye for him, too—young, old, it didn’t seem to matter. He was everyone’s hero.”

“You couldn’t have been much more than a child,” Trevor said, wrapping his hands around the pottery mug.

“In my teens, actually. The perfect age to learn a
few lessons from a master with women.”

“Trevor Montgomery—my father—was a master?” Trevor questioned, trying to keep a straight face as he listened to tall tales about himself.

“I thought so at the time. I
was very much in awe of his power over women. I even told him so.”

The incident was fresh in Trevor’s mind. It had happened just a few weeks before when the old man sitting across from him had been a gangly, pimple-faced boy Harrison Stafford had met at a soup kitchen in New York. Newly arrived from England, the boy had no money, no place to live, and a growling belly. Trevor had been in pretty much the same condition when Harrison had rescued him, too.

“Still telling stories, I see.”

Trevor turned at the sound of Adriana’s voice. She was wrapped in a robe, her hair was mussed, and she looked as if she’d attempted to sleep but couldn’t. He’d asked her not to run off to her bedroom right after introducing him to Elliott, but she’d wanted to be alone for a while, and Trevor hadn’t tried to stop her. She’d been nervous, on edge, and she had to work that out of her system before he could start his seduction all over again.

“Care to join us?” he asked, rising and pulling out a chair.

She took the seat Trevor offered, stifling a yawn.

“Would you care for some cocoa, Miss Howard? I told Mr. Montgomery it might aid his sleep. Perhaps it might do the same for you, too.”

“Thank you, Elliott, but I’d rather you continue your tales about Mr. Montgomery. It’s all very interesting.”

“Yes, it was very interesting. Trevor gave me wonderful pointers with the ladies. Treat every woman—tall, skinny, fat, ugly—as if they were rare and delicate pieces of china,” he told me.

“He said that?” Adriana grinned at Trevor when she asked.

“Yes, I believe those were his exact words. Of course, he had me hide behind one of the mummy cases in the Egyptian Room while he showed me the proper way to kiss. He said if I followed his example to a tee, I could have any woman I wanted.”

“And who was he kissing?” Adriana asked.

“A hatcheck girl from the Trocadero,” Elliott related.

Trevor remembered full well the kiss, but not much at all about the young woman.

Elliott cleared his throat and took a sip of his cocoa. “Her name was Lu, I believe.”

Adriana stared at Trevor as if looking for confirmation, but he didn’t say a word. All of that had happened sixty years ago. It wouldn’t seem right to have knowledge of such an insignificant piece of trivia.

“Did you try out the kiss on anyone?” Trevor asked, instead.

“Of course I did. Mary Ellen, one of the maids here at Sparta, said it was the nicest kiss she’d ever had. I kissed her just the way Mr. Montgomery had shown me, and she didn’t resist. We were married a year later. Needless to say, I’ve always held Mr. Montgomery in the highest esteem, no matter what was said about him after his disappearance.”

“He was a wonderful man,” Trevor said, winking at Adriana.

“Yes, he was,” Elliott acknowledged. “And I consider it an honor having his son here with us. I do believe you’ve brought a glow to Miss Adriana’s cheeks, just as your father would have done.”

“Thank you, Elliott. I’ll do my best to keep it there, although she has a tendency to push me away at times.”

“My Mary Ellen pushed me away, too, but she
was rather powerless once I kissed her.”

“I’ll never be powerless,” Adriana murmured, “to a kiss or anything else.
”

She shoved away from the table. “Have you shown Mr. Montgomery his room yet, Elliott?”

“No. I could do that now if you’d like.”

“I’ll take him. You really should get some sleep. It’s well past two.”

“I was enjoying my conversation with Mr. Montgomery. Perhaps we
could have another discussion w
hile you’re here.”

“I’d like that,” Trevor said, shaking Elliott’s hand and holding on to it tightly for just a moment. “My father talked a lot about his times here at Sparta. It’s nice having a chance to re-create those days through your eyes.”

“Miss Adriana can do that for you, too. She comes here often to watch the old family films. Maybe tomorrow, after you’ve had a good night’s sleep, she’ll show you some.”

Trevor turned to Adriana. “I’d like that.”

“As for your request,” Elliott said, directing his words to Adriana, “if Mr. or Mrs. Rosenblum call, I’ll let them know that I haven’t seen you.”

“Thank you, Elliott.”

Adriana brushed a quick kiss across Elliott’s cheek, and Trevor followed her from the kitchen.

They wound their way through a myriad of majestic and elegant rooms and up the grand marble staircase that Trevor remembered quite well. The last time he’d been here he could roam anywhere he liked. It seemed odd that so many strangers, people from all over the world, paid top dollar to tour the estate now.

“This wing still belongs to me,” Adriana told him, when they passed through the ten-foot-tall carved
oak double doors. “Elliott makes sure there are always
fresh flowers in the vases and that the linens are—”

“I don’t want to hear about flowers or linens,” Trevor interrupted, backing Adriana against the doors she’d just closed behind them.

He traced his fingers across her jaw and lightly brushed his thumb over her lips. “We’re alone, Adriana. Just you and me.”

“It’s late,” Adriana said, bracing her hands against his chest. “I’m tired.”

“Why did you come down to the kitchen then? Why didn’t you just stay in bed?”

“Elliott’s old. I didn’t want you keeping him up all night.”

“That’s not the real reason, and you know it. Admit it, Adriana. You wanted to be near me.”

Adriana laughed. “Your ego’s too big.”

“And once again you’re making up excuses to stay away from me.”

“I’m tired,” she repeated, skirting around him and marching across the sitting room, stopping at the first door off the hallway. “You can sleep here tonight.”

“Where will you be?”

“In another room.”

‘Tell me which one,” he urged, moving in close again and curling her hair behind her ear. “I might need to find you during the night.”

She hesitated, then turned her gaze toward the double doors at the far end of the hall.

“Harrison’s old room?” he asked, and slowly she nodded.

“It’s awfully big for just one person.”

“I suppose, but I’ve never found anyone I wanted to share it with.”

“The perfect person could be standing fairly close.”

Adriana looked away, but Trevor tilted her face toward him. “Kiss me, Adriana.”

He could feel her sharp intake of breath, could almost hear the rapid beat of her heart as she looked into his eyes and raised up on tiptoes, leaning toward him as if in a daze. Her eyes fluttered closed. She was less than an inch away when her eyes opened and she jerked away.

Trevor grinned at her sudden movement. “See, you do have control over your thou
ghts. No matter what I
try persuading
you
to do
, you’re going to keep on backing away from me until you’re good and ready to give in to what’s in your heart.”

Trevor pushed through the guest-room door. “Just don’t make it too much longer. I’m only a man, Adriana. Not some idol up on a silver screen who acts according to a well-written script. I have feelings and needs. And right now I need you, more than I’ve ever needed anyone.”

Drawing in a long, deep breath, he closed the door, separating himself from Adriana. He pressed his forehead against the wood.

“I don’t know how much longer I can wait, Adriana,” he whispered. “But, God knows, I will.”

oOo

Trevor could smell the blood. He could taste it and feel it covering his face, his palms, his arms and chest. He rubbed his hands on the sheets, over and over and over again, but the blood wouldn’t disappear.

He had to get rid of it. He had to.

He jerked up in bed, his eyes flashing open.

There was no blood. No body. Only a magnificent room that felt empty and alone.

Plowing his fingers through his hair, he tried to rid himself of the headache that came each night when he attempted to sleep. Somehow he had to make the nightmares stop. How could he possibly
pull Adriana into his arms, make love to her, sleep with her, only to end up frightening her with his dreams?

Lying back in the pillows, he massaged his temples, but the pain continued to pulse through his head. All he needed was one small drink. Just one, and the headache would go away.

He’d seen a bottle when Elliott had taken cocoa from one of the cabinets. He’d told Adriana he could give it up, but that was easier said than done.

Quietly he closed the door to the guest room and walked down the hallway lined with ancient tapestries. Crossbows and swords hung on the walls, and suits of armor stood guard in carved out alcoves.

He walked down dozens of marble steps, wove through back rooms, and entered the kitchen. It was
six in the morning
and Elliott and Juanita were nowhere in sight. It was too early to drink, but that didn’t matter now. The only thing that mattered was getting rid of the pain.

He retrieved the bottle from the cabinet and took it outside to one of the terraces. Sitting on a granite bench, listening to the faint rustle of wind through the palms, he twisted off the cap and tilted the bottle of bourbon to his lips.

Adriana didn’t have to know. It was just one small drink. Just one.

But Adriana’s words rang through his head.

After a while it’s one lie after another until you get to the point where you don’t even know what promises you’ve made, what things you said, or what you’ve done.

He’d promised her he wouldn’t drink again, but he’d lied.

One lie after another.

He lowered his head and rested his brow against the top of the bottle.

He didn’t need the whiskey. Not this time.

He needed Adriana.

She was the only intoxicant he wanted.