If Only (10 page)

Read If Only Online

Authors: Lisa M. Owens

*

Bree felt as though she was going to be sick. She recognized that glint of a challenge in her ex-husband’s blue eyes, and she immediately knew what he was thinking. He was trying to figure out how to sweet-talk his way into her pants. It was amazing to Bree that the jerk hadn’t changed a bit. Once an asshole, always an asshole, she supposed. She couldn’t believe Bryan had the unmitigated gall to openly ogle her in front of his current girlfriend! And what was even worse, Susan had absolutely no idea!

She watched with a heavy heart as her ex-husband whispered something into Susan’s ear, although he never took his gaze away from Bree. She felt as though she were being pulled in two directions. She longed to be loyal to Susan, who was one of her best friends, as well as her sister-in-law. But Scott was already concerned about her current behavior, especially when she had mentioned her violent past with Bryan. What would Susan’s reaction be? Would she believe her, or would she run straight back into Bryan’s arms? She felt like she owed it to Susan to be completely honest with her and to forewarn her of Bryan’s ulterior motives. She didn’t want her to be trapped by him like she had been. He would break her heart and shatter her spirit.

When she heard the sound of Susan’s hearty laughter, she knew she had to tell Susan the truth. She couldn’t allow her to continue living a lie. Susan deserved more than this; she deserved much more than Bryan Sexton could ever give her. She deserved to be loved, and Bree was going to make damn sure she had that opportunity. She opened her mouth to speak but was quickly interrupted by Susan. She had impulsively grabbed Bree by the wrists, her olive eyes dancing with happiness, and Bree felt like she was going to be sick.

She glared at Bryan. How dare he put her in this position? In being a good friend, she was going to hurt Susan, but deep down, she knew it was the right thing to do.

“Skate with me,” Susan pleaded as she tugged on Bree’s wrists.

Bree tried her best to muster up a smile for her friend. “Okay,” she answered as cheerfully as the circumstances would allow. She whispered to Susan underneath her breath, “I really need to talk to you.”

Susan giggled as she winked at her companion. “See you in a little while, baby,” she called out as she blew Bryan a kiss.

She allowed Susan to guide her onto the rink, using this time to try and figure out what she was going to say. Bree looked back just in time to see her husband removing his skates on the other side of the rink, although he was watching her out of the corner of his eye. Somehow, it was reassuring to Bree, knowing her husband was still watching out for her. Just in case she should need him.

She felt a smile spreading across her face as she watched Susan weaving to and fro along the ice. She grasped Susan’s hand in her own as they circled the rink, listening to the loud rock music blaring from the speakers and the slicing sounds of their blades across the ice. Bree cleared her throat anxiously, and she saw Susan’s gaze shift to her face. “I need to talk to you about Bryan,” she began, her voice uncertain.

Susan released her hand and placed it over her heart as she looked over at Bree, her eyes dreamy. “Isn’t he wonderful?” she gushed.

“Isn’t he married?” Bree questioned sharply.

Susan whirled around to face her, her skates immediately halting on the ice as she glared at her. “How did you know that?” she demanded, her olive eyes wide with surprise.

She gestured to the side of the rink, where there was a bench off to one side. “Let’s sit down and talk,” Bree suggested. “There are some things about him you need to know.”

“Just because he’s your boss doesn’t mean you know him,” Susan retorted in anger as she removed her hand from Bree’s grasp.

“Just because you’re sleeping with him doesn’t mean you do, either,” she returned as she glared at her friend, hands firmly planted on her hips.

Bree watched Susan’s eyes darken with anger, and she was afraid she had pushed her friend too far. She was shocked, however, when Susan grabbed her by the shoulders, attempting to shove her down onto the ice. Luckily, years of skating experience kicked in and, instinctively, she corrected herself before she fell. She looked at her for a few seconds in shocked silence before she turned her head to where her husband had been sitting only moments ago. She held up a single hand to stop him when she realized he had gotten up from his seat and was stalking across the ice to protect her.

“You don’t understand,” Bree tried to explain, her green gaze pleading for understanding. “I know what is going to happen to you,” she interrupted when Susan opened her mouth to speak. “I was once married to that monster.”

Susan just stood there, her stare disbelieving. Bree could tell Susan was fighting an inner battle with herself whether she should stay and talk to her or just turn around and leave. She only hoped her friend would stay and listen.

“You won’t understand,” she attempted to explain as she anxiously began biting on her lower lip. She released a short laugh as she brushed a wayward curl out of her eyes. “Hell, I don’t even understand. But you must listen to me,” Bree pleaded, tears glistening in her eyes. “Please.”

When Susan showed no attempt to leave, Bree decided to take that as a positive sign. She was silent as they approached the bench and then sat down side-by-side. She released a shaky sigh. “I really don’t know how this happened,” she forewarned. “All I know is when I woke up a couple of days ago, I was happily married to your brother when we hadn’t seen or even spoken to each other for several years.”

“What?” Susan questioned sharply, staring at Bree as if she had just sprouted an additional head.

“It’s like a crazy dream,” Bree admitted as she looked at her friend. “I’m not sure what is real and what is make-believe. I met Bryan Sexton while I was engaged to your brother, and I ended our engagement and married Bryan. He was violent and cruel to me. In fact, Bryan Sexton caused me to have three miscarriages throughout the entire length of our marriage. After the last one, I filed for divorce.”

Susan laughed, a short, brittle sound that sounded sarcastic, even to Bree’s ears.

“Just because you had some stupid dream doesn’t mean Bryan is really that way,” she insisted.

Bree grabbed Susan by the wrist as she looked her friend straight in the eye, her emerald green gaze troubled. “You called me,” Bree confessed, her eyes pleading. “You suspect you are pregnant,” she blurted.

Her friend covered her mouth with one hand as she released a startled gasp. “How did you know?” she asked. “I haven’t told anyone,” she stated.

“You have to listen to me,” Bree stated as she grabbed Susan by the hands. “You called me one night. I didn’t even realize it at the time, but Bryan must have been cheating on me. With you,” she stated flatly as Susan looked over at her in disbelief. “I’m sure you didn’t know he was married to me,” she insisted as understanding seemed to finally dawn on Susan’s face.

“But he isn’t married to you,” Susan whispered, struggling to comprehend what Bree was trying to tell her.

“Because I went down another path this time,” she explained. “I chose your brother. Bryan didn’t marry me; he married someone else. And he is cheating on her. With you.”

“I don’t think I understand what you’re saying,” Susan murmured.

“You called me,” Bree insisted. “You had taken a pregnancy test and it had shown up positive.” When she looked up, it was to discover Susan’s face had paled. “You have already taken the test?” she asked, fearing she already knew the answer. At Susan’s slow nod, Bree continued, “So when were you planning on telling Bryan?”

She cleared her throat as she stared at Bree, not quite sure whether or not she should believe her, Bree assumed. Swallowing with difficulty, Susan responded, “Tonight when we are alone in my apartment.”

“Then tonight will be the night it happens,” Bree stated matter-of-factly, but her face betrayed her. There was alarm etched in her features.

“When what happens?” Susan asked, breathless.

She looked over at Susan sadly, her gaze troubled. “Tonight’s the night when all hell breaks loose.” Nibbling on her lower lip, she struggled to find the right words to explain. “You’re going to tell Bryan about the positive pregnancy test, and he is going to go absolutely ballistic,” she forewarned.

She began to gesture wildly with her hands, and then she tried to calm herself by taking a deep breath. Thankfully, Susan was still listening, even though she stared at Bree, disbelieving. Bree’s voice began shaking with emotion as she struggled to continue. “You’re going to take him back to your apartment, and then you’re going to walk over to the bar to get him a drink. A vodka on the rocks,” she elaborated, her gaze shifting to Susan.

“His favorite drink,” Susan whispered, her olive eyes beginning to widen with shock.

“I know,” Bree continued, her voice scarcely a whisper. “Before even mentioning the pregnancy, you brought up the subject of him leaving his wife, and he started getting angry. He told you his marriage was none of your business.”

“Bryan has told me that. Several times.”

“He shattered his vodka glass and then got up to leave. Then you told me you couldn’t seem to stop yourself; without even meaning to, you blurted out that you were pregnant.” Bree met Susan’s troubled expression. Continuing, she murmured, “He’s going to demand you get an abortion.”

Her voice shook as she struggled to continue. “And from personal experience, I can tell you for a fact if you refuse, he will purposely cause you to have a miscarriage.” She folded her arms around her stomach in a defensive gesture. “That’s what happened to me.” She dropped her voice even softer, to the point where Susan was straining to hear her next statement. “Bryan Sexton caused me to have three miscarriages in the five years we were married.”

“He wouldn’t do that! He would never do anything like that!” Susan insisted.

Bree nodded, a lump lodged in her throat as she looked at her sister-in-law. The next part of her story would be even more painful for Susan to hear, but she knew in her heart she was doing the right thing. Swallowing nervously, she fought to find the appropriate words.

When Bree spoke again, her voice was almost a whisper. Susan had to strain her ears to hear what she was saying. Bree looked at her, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

“He was terrified you were going to tell his wife. You see, he was losing control, and Bryan Sexton hates to lose control. When we were married, he controlled where I went, who my friends were, what I did, and even what I wore. I wasn’t even allowed to look at the drivers of other cars on the highway because he was convinced if I met their eyes that I was flirting with them. He had his affairs; in fact, he had several of them.” After taking a deep breath, she continued, “Bryan opened the front door, and you thought he was simply going to leave, and maybe he was, but then he changed his mind. He began shouting at you, calling you some really ugly names, cursing you, ranting and raving like a lunatic.”

When Susan’s eyes widened in horror, and she placed one palm protectively over her abdomen, Bree’s watchful gaze followed the simple movement. “I should probably tell you the truth,” she confessed. “You’re not pregnant.”

The breath whooshed out of Susan. “Are you sure?” she questioned. At Bree’s simple nod, her emotions became conflicted. “Then what about Bryan? Does that mean I shouldn’t bother to say anything?”

“That’s up to you,” Bree answered. “He is going to hurt you. If not tonight, then another night. You have to decide for yourself what to do. I only want you to think about one thing,” she murmured with concern shining in her eyes. “What if you don’t confront him and continue this relationship, only to discover you’re pregnant later on?”

Susan started to shiver uncontrollably. Shivering again, she untied her shoelaces and removed her ice skates. She walked over to the lockers standing against one wall and opened her designated locker, removing a pair of tennis shoes. She slammed the door shut and then walked back over to where Bree was sitting. She began slipping on her shoes, looking up when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned to face Bree, her eyes beginning to fill with tears.

“I’m so sorry, Susan,” she whispered. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I know how this is going to play out. Not only did I hear this straight from you in the past, but I also know from personal experience. He is going to fly off the handle, and when he does, he will get violent. There were several times he almost killed me, and I don’t want for that to happen to you. Call me selfish, but I love you too much to lose you.”

Susan stood, her gaze lingering on Bree’s face for several moments. Wiping away her tears with one hand, she left without another word, racing across the skating rink and toward the exit as though the devil himself was hot on her heels.

Chapter 7

Bryan Sexton wasn’t sure what was wrong with Susan, but he had every intention of finding out. He had no explanation for it, he couldn’t understand it, but she had been acting strange ever since they had left the ice skating center. Clenching his fists, he struggled to regain his composure. It wouldn’t do for Susan to see him lose his temper.

He had fought hard to show Susan Weston the man he wanted her to see. She thought he was practically perfect, and he was determined not to let her see him lose his cool. The Bryan Sexton Susan saw was merely an illusion, simply a smoke screen of the man he truly was.

*

Susan Weston took a deep breath as she unlocked the front door leading to her single-bedroom apartment, irritated with herself when she realized her hands were shaking as she opened the door. She whirled around, forcing a smile as he followed her into the living room. She watched with a heavy heart as he walked over to the loveseat, just as Bree had predicted, and sat down.

“How about pouring me a drink, darling?” Bryan questioned.

Her hands trembled as she poured his drink, the liquid sloshing over the rim of the glass. She cursed beneath her breath. She inhaled and then exhaled slowly. She had to pull herself together. She turned around, his drink in her hand, and approached him, her nerves on edge.

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