If You Still Want Me (18 page)

Joey and I used ta' be tight - best friends
almost. He's way younger, but he was a smart, fun kid. Still is,
really. His big, goofy grin is smiling at me as he gets into the
car, an' I can tell he's happy I didn't make him drive alone. He
says the place is a short drive, so I make the most of it as soon
as we pull onto the road.

"So... Alex?"

He barks a laugh, his grin growin' ten-fold.
"Yeah. It kinda hit my right out of the blue, you know? But, I
guess it's pretty serious."

"Must be, if'n yer thinkin' a movin' all the way
up north."

"Good opportunities up there, plus we'd be
legal. I mean, you know, if we decide to get married." His cheeks
darken and it makes me giggle. After a moment, he takes in a long
breath. "Trust me, I'd rather stay down south with my family, and
so would he. His uncle's up north, but the rest are all down here.
There's just... It's more complicated if we stay."

I nod at that with a long
exhale. "That, I can understand. I
love
Texas, an' I don't think I'd ever wanna leave, but I aint
holdin' my breath on them progressin' with that kinda stuff anytime
soon, either."

We go quiet for a second as he waits for traffic
to pass, then he snorts. "So... Austin?"

That has me gigglin' again. "Cute, aint he?"

"He is. Quite the cowboy."

"You aint got no idea! He looks after Brandon's
horses, and boy, can he ride! Er... Well, yeah, that too."

"Mercy!" he whistles. "Damn, I didn't even know
you were bi."

"Interested?" I poke fun with a wiggle of my
eyebrows.

"Nice try, old man," he pokes
back, "but Alex is
it
for
me."

"Strong words." But, I know how he feels as I
glance at Victoria's SUV in the side-view mirror.

"Strong feelings," he responds.

"I'm happy for ya, then. Best thing on this
Earth is finding that person, or persons, who ya know are just
meant for you, and you for them."

"It really is," he agrees.

After he slows down to park out front of a tiny,
blue shotgun house, I stop him from leaving the car by gently
grabbing his forearm. "Joey, I want you ta know that I don't love
yer sister any less than I did before, now that I got Austin,
too."

He sits back into the seat, looks at me for a
moment then nods. "I know, Saul. It don't make sense to me because
my heart only has room for one, I think. But, I also trust you, and
I trust my sister. She knows what she's doing. If she's happy, then
that's all that matters to me."

"Austin's a good man, too," I add, wanting Joey
to be at ease with this. "I know he's a stranger right now, but he
has a big heart an' a kind soul."

Joey smiles at that. "Saul, I don't think you'd
be with him if he wasn't a good man. I hope the three of you can
make it work."

"Me too," I exhale all the nerves that are still
flutterin' over my body.

"C'mon, before Victoria lights my car on fire
with that impatient look she's giving us."

I glance through the back window as Joey gets
out. Vickie's got one hand on her hip and a stare directed straight
at my head in the passenger's seat. I know that look, so I put my
rear in gear and get out of the car.

Blue Bayou is a cute little
house with blue clapboard siding and white trim, sitting on a quiet
street with well-kept houses on either side. The neighborhood
looks
lived in,
the way I know all
these neighborhoods used to look before those awful floods hit. The
hard hit areas still have a ways ta' go, but I think they could all
look like this again someday.

These neighborhoods are kinda like the three 'a
us. Things that are destroyed can be rebuilt, an' sometimes, things
that are rebuilt turn out better than they were before. It's hard
not ta' see the way it resembles us.

I think, maybe, the house me an' Vickie were
livin' in for so long together had started to fall into disrepair -
unnoticed or ignored. We'd just gotten used to how things were over
such a long time, like a frog in a pot that slowly comes to boil.
Guess, maybe, Austin was the flood? He swept into my life, washed
things out a bit, stirred up me and Vickie and helped use see how
stagnant it'd all gotten. Now, we begin the process 'a rebuildin'
ourselves.

As I meet their eyes, the two 'a them standin'
side by side, I believe we can rebuild somethin' incredible
together. How'd I get so lucky? A sorry ass like me between two
amazing people. It blows my mind when I try ta' think about it, so
I'm just gonna let it happen and be grateful for every minute.

"Welcome to way-over house number four, Blue
Bayou!" Joey announces as he opens the front door and ushers us
inside. "It's one of the smallest, but still comfortable for a
stay. Two bedrooms, one bath. All the utilities are on and taken
care of through the church, so make yourselves right at home."

"It's nice," Vickie smiles as we step into the
quaint living room that's got a huge bay window lookin' out to the
front porch. "I'll make a donation at the church on Sunday to help
out."

"Much appreciated." Joey hands over the keys.
"So, y'all are gonna attend on Sunday?"

"We should," Vickie emphasizes the point with a
glance to me an' Austin, then looks back at her brother. "You and
Alex should, too."

Joey squirms under her stare then exhales.
"I'll, uh, see what Alex says."

"I think Daddy will want us there, regardless of
what's going on in our personal lives."

"Or maybe
because
of what's going on in our personal
lives," he counters.

"That, too," she smiles and kisses his
cheek.

"Well, y'all have fun," Joey backs towards the
door. "I'll give you a call tomorrow morning so we can sort out
dinner, and maybe coordinate a game strategy for Queen Tabi."

We say our goodbyes, Joey departs and then a
moment of awkward silence seeps into the living room. The three of
us stand there, locked in uncertainty and holding our suitcases.
Finally, with a flustered exhale, Vickie drops her suitcase to the
ground with a thud against the hardwood.

"This is ridiculous," she huffs then yanks me by
the shirt into a hug. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to hurt
you like that."

Oh, thank you God!

I'd been so afraid 'a how this would all play
out. She's too strong a woman to let things remain uneasy. I'm so
grateful she's takin' the lead on this, because I aint quite
figured out what direction we're supposed to be heading.

I hear Austin setting down his suitcase,
suddenly aware he's being left out already. Not even two minutes
alone with Vickie, and he's left standin' there like the third
wheel. I can't let that continue. I need ta' make sure he's
included in-

"Come here," Vickie lets go 'a me with one arm
to yank Austin into our hug. "I'm sorry for doing it this way,
Austin. I hurt you both."

"You did what you needed to," he argues,
embracing both of us in the gentle strength of his tattooed arms.
"It worked, Victoria. You finally helped me get over my stubborn,
stupid self and-"

"Wasn't all you," I jump in. "God, I was so
stupid." I sniffle, 'cause dammit, this shit is makin' my heart
ache, but in a good way that's lettin' us air out all these
remaining things that need ta' be said. "I was stupid when it came
ta' both 'a you. I'm sorry."

"I guess we can all agree that we were all
stupid," Vickie laughs quietly, but I hear the waver in her voice.
She's so strong, but she aint immune to this shit, either.

Our shoulders are touching, our hands are around
each other's waists, and our bodies are leanin' slightly on one
another for support. I grab hold 'a Vickie's hand behind Austin's
back, then I grab hold 'a Austin's hand behind her back. I smile as
I feel Vickie and Austin joinin' hands behind me. We complete a
circle, the three 'a us.

It's a beautiful thing, and it's ours.

"I'm sorry for this mornin', Vickie." I should
probably get it all out now while I can. "For almost punchin' that
doc, and for your dad findin' out 'bout us like that."

"Not your fault, sweetie. I should've told Daddy
about you asking me to marry you. I'd planned to while I was down
here, and I'd also decided to tell him why I said no."

She stops and raises her head
to look me in the eyes. "You understand now
why I said no, right?"

"Yes, ma'am, I do." I side-glance Austin with a
smile. "As usual, Vickie, you knew what I needed before I did."

Her lips brush my cheek, the sensation makin' me
shudder. This woman's touch is like an electrical charge, turning
me on without even trying. It's always been that way, and add that
to how Austin's cowboy swagger makes me drool - Well, fuck, I think
I'm gonna be turned on all the damn time now.

Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

A deep breath in reminds my libido to cool it
for a few minutes longer. I got things I still need ta' say.
"Austin's not the only reason you said no, though. I need to grow
up and stop depending on you so damn much. It aint right how heavy
I've leaned on you all this time. I see that now."

Her mouth parts, my words shockin' her, I think.
A few rapid blinks later, she smiles. "I'll always be there when
you need me, Saul."

"I know, Vickie," I smile back then sneak a
quick kiss. "I got ta' stand on my own two feet, though."

"And I can help with that," Austin adds.

I kiss him, too. "You already have, amigo."
Lookin' between them, I don't think this smile on my face is ever
goin' away. "Damn, this is so awesome!"

Vickie laughs as Austin chuckles. Her rich sound
mixes in with his deep baritone to make what I think is gonna be my
new favorite song. The two 'a them make my world a better place ta'
live in.

I hate to bring that happiness down a notch, but
my churnin' gut demands I bring all my worries out into the open.
"Vickie, you think yer family's gonna be alright with this?"

"I hope they will, but I also won't let it come
between the three of us. Ruth, Jerry and Joey were easy. Daddy - I
think he's not made his mind up completely yet, but I have a
feeling he'll accept it, even if it's only because he knows it
makes me happy. Tabitha and Michael..."

"Michael?" Austin asks, and I'm reminded this is
his first time meeting all of Vickie's family.

"Ruthy's husband," I answer. "He's a nice guy,
but a bit stuck in the mud."

"He's conservative," Vickie corrects with a
smirk that lets me know she agrees.

"One way 'a puttin' it." The man has a stick up
his butt about some things, and is self-righteous about others. "I
think he may cause the biggest stink; even more so than Tabi."

"Plus," she sighs. "He's deeply involved with
the church and the community programs. So, if he wants to raise
hell about Daddy's gay son and sexually deviant daughter..."

"It could get messy," I agree. "But, Ruthy
wouldn't stand for that shit, would she?"

"She loves him," Vickie shrugs. "Lord only knows
why, but that's her business. I think she'd stand with us and Joey,
though, if push comes to shove. I just hope it doesn't come to
that."

Austin shifts his weight. "You think it's wise
to go together to your father's church on Sunday?"

The fire sparks in Vickie's eyes. "I won't let
other people's issues hold me down. Not like we'll be kissing each
other in the pews, but If I hold both your hands while I pray, then
that's my damn business, and no one has a say in it."

Damn
. I love it when
she talks like that. This woman could stand in front of a whole
army in nothin' but her leathers, and I believe that army would be
on its knees when she was through with them.

Austin takes in a long breath then smiles.
"Alright then. We'll go together."

"Damn straight," I grin.
"That's how it's gonna be from now on. The three 'a us, facin' the
world together." After shared smiles, my grin turns lecherous.
"Speakin' 'a doin' things together... Any ideas on how we should
spend our first evening
together
?"

Vickie rolls her eyes but laughs along with
Austin. They share a glance, a silent conversation going on between
them like they're connected mentally or somethin'. A second later,
they both slap my ass, one hand to each cheek.

Hot damn!

"Go get cleaned up," Vickie orders, and I can't
get my feet to comply fast enough as I twist around to find where
Austin dropped my bag.

"Yes, ma'am!" Where the heck is my bathroom
stuff...?

After unzipping three
different compartments, I find the toiletries bag and yank it free.
Austin grabs my wrist, pulls me close and whispers into my ear.
"Make sure you wash
everything,
and
don't drop that soap."

Oh, holy shit! "Y-yes, sir."

I shiver as he lets go then
I'm walkin' on wobbly legs, trying to find the damn bathroom. It's
all come to this. We've come together, we've said what needed to be
said and we've started figuring ourselves out. This
can
work, and I have the idea that's it's
only gonna get better from here on out.

As I hear the bathroom door click shut, a breath
I didn't even realize I'd been holding exhales from my lungs and my
whole body deflates. A pair of strong arms wrap around me from
behind, holding me up as my legs threaten to give way. I'd been so
worried that my boys would be more angry with me, and after hearing
Saul so hurt, I'd even doubted for a moment that he'd forgive me
for putting him through all this.

My hands intertwine with Austin's as he leans
his chin on my shoulder, his quietly offered comfort soothing my
soul. He's a nice juxtaposition to Saul's boisterous nature. They
compliment each other in ways I don't think they've noticed
yet.