Authors: R.J. Lewis
I kept that thought buried because in that moment I desperately wanted him. Wanted us.
He undressed himself in silent haste, raking his eyes over my body. Trying to prolong my undress, I removed my earrings and necklace, and kicked off my heels. They fell on the floor, but against our heavy breaths it barely made a sound.
Blood pumped in my ears as I looked over his body. Solid, broad, and sculpted beautifully, Jaxon looked positively divine. I felt that ache in my core at the sight of his naked body, and when he leaned in to kiss me, the heat of his skin penetrated through my dress. It was strange how I suddenly needed my own skin touching his, and that this dress was in the way of total completion.
His kiss was gentle and cautious; he was knowingly entering a territory that had for so long been off limits. His hands went around my waist, and he pulled me up, never breaking our kiss. Easing me out of bed, he set my feet down on the floor. His lips moved down to my jaw and then my neck, working its way to my shoulders. My breathing was shallow at this point and my face hot and flustered.
When he walked around me, I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, summoning the courage to do this without overthinking it. I knew I wanted him with a fiery depth that went on and on, but I didn’t want my inexperience to ruin the moment.
I felt his fingers on the zipper at my back. He was so close I could feel his body heat envelope me as he slid the zipper down and bent his head to my neck, trailing wet kisses that sent shivers all the way down to my toes. His erection pressed at my lower back shamelessly, reminding me how much more experienced he was than me.
You’ll be okay, he’ll take care of you,
I told myself.
My dress hit the floor, and the air on my half naked body was welcoming against my flushed skin. He walked back around me and took a few steps away, staring at me in his naked state with an unreadable expression on his dimly lit face.
“Take your bra off,” he quietly demanded.
I took a deep breath and unhooked my strapless bra, letting it drop to the ground with my dress. I looked down at my toes, not wanting to see his reaction to my bare breasts. I’d never gone this far before. Hell, I’d never gone past making out with Jordan all that time ago despite his blatant want to do more.
“Now your underwear.” His voice was barely a whisper, and it strained in a way I’d never heard before. It was desire, I knew, but I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
I dropped my thin laced panties and stepped out of them. By reflex, I consciously put an arm over my breasts and hid my girly bits with my hand.
“Put your arms down at your sides and look at me, Sara.”
I looked up at him first and took another deep breath. I dropped my arms to my sides and watched him rake his eyes everywhere.
Everywhere!
Oh, God, I never felt more exposed in my entire life. I tried to comfort my nerves by telling myself it was too dark and that he surely couldn’t see all that much. But the moonlight washed through the windows and our eyes had long adjusted to our surroundings. The entire room was visible in blue-black contrast including Jaxon’s butt naked state. I certainly could see all of him!
I let my eyes listen to my desires, and let them drop to his lean, washboard abs, and then further down to his protruding length that was long and thick. I’d never actually seen one before. Well, I mean, of course I’d
seen
one in adult magazines and pornos I’d walked in on Jaxon watching or from looking them up on my own, and of course high school wasn’t an innocent haven where teens never talked about sex before. It was everywhere – sex and naked images passed along the hallways, and of course I’d caught guys in situations of undress – but I’d never seen an exposed man in person before in an aroused state.
“Do you like what you see?” he huskily asked, drawing me in with those heated eyes of his. His mouth was partly open, and his tongue danced above his lower lip, licking it every few moments.
“I do,” I answered as confidently as I could muster, but it came out a jumbled mess.
“I love what I see,” he said, nostrils flaring as he openly stared at my breasts. “You look so damn sexy, I’m kicking myself for not seeing it all these years.”
He walked to me and stopped when my breasts were against his chest. I let out an involuntary shiver at the close contact and the way his erection was pressed harshly against my stomach. My thighs felt wet, and I went crimson when he felt me in between the legs, stroking my drenched sex with his eyes closed shut. That ease and confidence he harboured radiated off of him, it was effortless soaking it in and building my own strength. He kissed me again, and his other arm wrapped around my waist, steering me back to the bed.
He carefully placed me down on the mattress, breathing heavily against my mouth. “Touch me too, Sara. Don’t be scared.” The ache in his voice had me shivering all over again. “Relax and you’ll enjoy it, but you have to do what you want, and take what you need so we both get pleasure from this. Don’t be embarrassed.”
He read me like a book, and my stiff bones instantly relaxed beneath him.
Just let go and enjoy yourself
, I repeated this mantra ten times before it finally settled in. And then like a fiend I kissed him roughly, letting the desire steer me through it. I moved my hands up and down his back, stroking his hard skin while I trailed my tongue against his. He groaned loudly in my mouth and pushed his tongue into mine, devouring me with a greediness that made me ache all over.
This was, hands down, the best make out session of my life. He was fucking my mouth with his, and I reciprocated the greed and took what I could, tasting his tongue and biting his lower lip. We were saturated in the wetness of our tongues, and breathing heavily. His hands roamed up and down my body until I was well accustomed to the feel of being touched like this.
I spread my legs wide and pulled back from our kiss to stare into the endless blue depths of his eyes. Fully aware of my intentions, I felt his hand brush lightly at the folds of my core, and I whimpered in pleasure at the briefest flicker of his fingers at my clit. Then I was aware of the thick dip of flesh lightly pushing at my entrance.
“Are you sure about this?” he shakily asked.
I stroked his sweat laden face and kissed his lips softly before pushing my hips up as an answer. Resting his forehead against mine, he looked down at himself slowly entering me. I gazed down in wonder, unsure how to cope with the strange and foreign feeling of his tip pushing into me. I was so small next to him, and the way I stretched to try and accommodate his thickness made me uncertain it could even be done.
“Look at me,” he whispered, and when I did, he gently nuzzled his nose against mine and kissed me lightly with a hand cupped at my cheek.
It was hugely intense staring into his eyes as he joined himself slowly, inch after inch until I sucked in my breath at a sharp pain. He paused and distracted my pain by kissing me, licking my tongue with his as he pushed again. The pain skyrocketed into a sharpness that had me biting feverishly at his lip. I wasn’t aware my arms were so tightly wrapped around his waist until I felt soreness in my forearms. Then he pushed again, and instantly slipped in, going and going, and then stopping when he hit the end of my channel.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered into my ear.
I don’t know how long we were like that, joined to the root, but the longer time had passed by, the more at ease my body felt at being filled. The pain had died off and was more like a pinch, but I was beyond aroused now that he was fully inside of me, stretching me with a growing thickness that felt so damn good.
Holy shit, I wanted to start moving again. I pushed my hips into him, groaning lightly at the friction against my clit. He slowly moved out of me, and then back in. Retreating and advancing with caution; time was on our side because he took so long adjusting me to the sensation of his arousal until I was absorbed in him with a waking need to go faster.
I would forever look back at this moment and know with certainty that he was making love to me. It wasn’t all lust and all passion; he was giving me all of him, surrendering a part of his soul he’d unknowingly reserved. We knew each other with such depth, it had only been a matter of time for a union like this, and now we had a lifetime to explore each other’s bodies with an equal depth.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asked me.
“Yes,” I quivered, moving my hands over his ass, willing him to continue faster.
“Are you in pain?”
“No.” There was still that pinch of pain, but it was dulling and easily forgettable.
“Does it feel good?”
“Yes.” Oh, yes, it did.
He groaned in my mouth, moving quicker by the second, holding me so tightly against him like he couldn’t get close enough. “I fucking love you, Sara,” he moaned, panting wildly against my neck as he continued to drive himself into me. “You’re mine. I want you to be mine. I need you.”
I couldn’t respond, too lost in my own pleasure, but I felt my heart explode at his words. They had me clutching his ass harder, concentrating on the friction and the build-up of pleasure.
“So beautiful, so tight, so fucking perfect.” He sucked my neck, moving even faster. “Are you close?”
Soon he wouldn’t have to ask me that. He would know by the hitch of my breath, by the gasp that escaped my lips, by the shivering of my body, and by the tightening of my hold of him, when I was close.
When I reached my peak, I cried out in pleasure, and he swallowed the sounds with his mouth over mine and followed with his own orgasm, gripping me so tightly around the thighs, I knew I’d bruise there by morning.
He didn’t move out of me straight away. He waited until our breathing returned to normal, and then he moved to my side and brought my back into his chest, spooning me with a tight hold on my waist. I was hazy and exhausted, but my senses were all too aware of everything around us: the sounds of crickets outside, the gentle feeling of wind pushing through the window screen, the sweaty slippery feel of our bodies entwined, and the smell of our session so palpable in the air it was inescapable.
“How was that for you?” he asked me sometime later.
“Perfect,” I sleepily answered.
“I love you, Sara. I want you. Have wanted you for a long time.”
I turned over so that I could see him. He was looking right at me, seriousness engrained in the features of his beautifully masculine face. “I love you, Jaxon. I think I always have.”
He kissed me on the forehead and nestled his chin on the roof of my head. “Yeah, I think I have too. This was inevitable.”
“But Jaxon,” I paused as uncertainty gripped me.
“Yeah?”
“How much do you want to make this work?”
“More than anything in this world.”
“Enough to stop you breaking the law?”
“Yes,” he replied hastily.
I pulled away and looked up at his all too serious gaze, and raised my eyebrows sceptically. “You answered that way too quickly, Jaxon. At least think it through.”
“Nothing to think through, Sara. I’ll do anything to have you. Besides, I knew that’s what you’d want, and I’m completely okay with it. I’ve made enough money to tide us over for a good while, find us a good place to live in Winthrop, close to your school; don’t worry about it, I’m going to take care of you and I don’t care if I have to scrub toilets in the process.” He kissed me and brought my head to his chest as he settled his back to the mattress. “I promise, Sara. Everything will be fine.”
How could I not believe it when I felt like my life was flawless nestled into him like this? He was amazing, and this beautiful man was willing to change for me. I knew there would be problems because what relationship doesn’t have them? I knew he would be difficult, but I didn’t take into consideration just how hard I might be on him. And I was completely oblivious of the darkness that loomed inside of me; a darkness that would follow me and wait for the perfect moment to strike and destroy everything I held dear.