Imaginary Grace (23 page)

I tried not to worry when I didn’t hear from him all the next day. After all, I couldn’t freak out every time a guy was in a bad mood. I was tempted to ask Beth how she dealt with Tom’s moods, but I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. Plus, I had the feeling that if anyone was dealing with anyone’s moods, it was Tom dealing with Beth’s. She definitely had the upper hand in that relationship.

The following day, Thursday, was mercifully the busiest day of my week. With back-to-back classes and a study group, there was no time to think about anything other than school. I barely had the energy to eat dinner and fall into bed, exhausted.

Friday was a different story. I had just one late morning class, and plenty of time to think—never a good thing. It was turning out to be a beautiful day, so I decided that instead of the gym I’d go for a jog. As soon as class got out I headed straight to the dorm and changed into sweats, a zip-up sweatshirt, and my favorite pair of Nikes, then slipped my iPod into my pocket.

Thinking back I realized I knew where I was headed before I even started running. I rushed through my warm-up—which I never did—then slipped my ear buds in and started down the path. I hadn’t gone on a good outdoor run all winter, so this was a real treat. This time, though, I wasn’t able disappear into my music as I usually did, because I had Tanner on the brain. Maybe I’d head over to his place and see if he was home.

His apartment was all the way across town, and I was a bit winded when I reached his block.
That’s not why you’re hesitating, Grace
, I thought as I slowed to a walk. I convinced myself that I was being silly. Nothing was wrong. He’d probably be glad I stopped by.

Chapter 34

Tanner

A
fter the gym, I decided to just chill back at the apartment, maybe play my guitar for a while, something I’d done far too little of lately. As I strummed the chords, I thought again about the other day at Gavin’s, and how I had colossally fucked up by bringing Grace there. My mom was already convinced our relationship was real—so why did I have to go and up the ante? Now my whole family was crazy about her, and it was going to turn into a huge mess when I finally ended this charade.

I thought about telling Mike and Abby she had ditched me, but I wasn’t sure they’d buy it. All I knew was that if Abby ever found out what I’d done, she’d flip.

Even I couldn’t deny the feeling of guilt I got whenever I thought about the eminent breakup. Grace was a genuinely nice person and she was going to take it hard, of that I was sure, but I didn’t know of any way I could soften the blow. It was unfortunate, but it was going to happen at some point. I continued gently strumming as different ideas on how to contain the fallout swirled through my head. They all sucked, though, and after a few minutes I decided to focus on the music for a while. I was just getting into it when I heard someone knocking. Slightly annoyed, I put my guitar down and pulled open the door. Grace.

“Hi,” she said quietly with a half-smile on her face.

“Hey, what’s up? Come on in,” I stammered as I moved to the side to let her through. I knew why she was here – she wanted to see what was up with my weird mood all week. Since I wasn’t ready to end it yet, I’d have to switch gears. “Have a seat,” I said, smiling as I motioned to the couch. “What brings you here?”

“Oh, I was just out running, and I decided I’d surprise you.” She sounded a little nervous, like she was gauging my reaction.

“…and you succeeded,” I said, grinning.

She motioned to the guitar. “Do you play?”

Do I play? Is she kidding?
Then I remembered that I’d never told her I played the guitar and not only that, she also had no idea that I played with the band. As far as she knew, I was just the sound guy.

“Yeah,” I slowly answered.

“Can you play something for me?” she asked, then added, “Do you mind if I grab myself a water from your fridge?”

“Go ahead,” I replied as I reached for the guitar, then took a seat on the couch and began strumming again as she walked into the kitchen.

“Tuesday Afternoon,” I heard her say as she pulled open the fridge.

My head spun around towards the kitchen. “What did you say?”

Grace turned to me. “Tuesday Afternoon… isn’t that what you’re playing?”

“How do you know that song?” I asked with obvious surprise in my voice.

She shrugged, “I just…know it.” I started playing something else as she unscrewed the cap on the bottle of water and brought it up to her mouth. “Wild Horses,” she said quietly before taking a sip.

No fucking way. It had to be a fluke. But I couldn’t help staring at her in amazement as she walked back over to the couch and sat down. I contemplated what I would play next and then I sat back and began, but within seconds she said, “Stairway to Heaven.” Smiling at me, she took another sip of water, then placed the bottle and her iPod down on the coffee table.

I was absolutely floored. I shot out at least five more tunes to her and she guessed every friggin’ one.

“Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure, go ahead,” I told her, still amazed by her flawless guessing. As soon as I heard the bathroom door close, I grabbed her iPod and started scrolling quickly through her playlist. Holy shit! Boston, Van Halen, Moody Blues, Led Zeppelin…the list went on and on. Then I scrolled back up to the top and slowly made my way down the alphabetical list until I got to the start of the M’s.

It couldn’t be possible, could it? It would be too much of a coincidence, but as I scrolled through the playlist, suddenly the words were right there in front of me . . . Magic Power. No. Fucking. Way. I heard the bathroom door open, so I quickly shut the iPod off and put it back on the coffee table. Then I slid back to the end of the couch where I had been sitting.

When she sat down I said, “Okay, I got one more for you.”

“Shoot,” she said with a look of confidence I had never seen on her face before. I looked into her eyes and began to play. “Magic Power…by Triumph.” She whispered the words, but her eyes were shining.

“You like it?” I asked.

“Like it?” she answered. “More like
love
it. It’s like one of my favorites.”

“No fucking way,” I said excitedly. “Me, too!”

“Have you ever seen the video on Youtube of them playing that song at the US Festival?”

“Oh, yeah,” I said, “awesome video.”

“Well, my dad is actually
in
that video; he was there at the US Festival back in 1983.” Grace laughed. “He’s the guy with the mullet and the cheesy mustache.”

“Holy shit, I’ve seen that guy! He’s your
dad
?”

“Yeah,” she said, “and he still talks about it. He’s says that Triumph definitely stole the show that day.”

“I’ll bet,” I said as my mind spun. Not only was she into the music I played with Hudson-Nash, she was even into the music that I loved that Hudson-Nash didn’t play.
How could I have not known that?

“Wait, hold on a minute,” I said as I went into my bedroom, returning with my laptop, “I gotta check out that video again.” I fired it up and logged onto Youtube.

About a minute into the video, Grace let out a squeal. “Look, there he is!” I paused the video and said, “Oh, man, that’s so cool!”

“Cool?” she said. “He looks nuts! We used to always make fun of him when we were younger.”

I laughed as I put the laptop down on the coffee table. “How do you know all this old music?”

“My dad always listened to it when we were kids, so I guess you could say I grew up on it. While all the other girls in school were listening to the latest boy band, I was listening to this stuff. Never said anything, I didn’t want to seem different or weird. You know how high school can be.”

She leaned back on the couch, taking a long drink from the bottle of water, for once seemingly oblivious to my stare. I knew in that moment that something had changed, shifted. It was as if a cloudy film was being peeled away from my eyes, and I was seeing clearly for the first time.

“How did
you
first get into that music? You’re not that much older than me,” she asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Um, I guess from my brother, but I don’t know who turned him on to it,” I said as I slid closer to her.

“How long have you been playing the guitar?” she asked, and I could tell she was genuinely interested, not just playing at it like most girls who just said what they thought the guy wanted to hear. “‘Cause you’re really good.”

“Since I was a kid, maybe seven or eight. I don’t really remember,” I told her, but I didn’t want to talk about myself. Half-hour ago I was thinking about how I would end it, and now I just wanted to get closer to her.

Who was this girl?

I reached over and started playing with her hair. She had it up in that long, tight ponytail again, but it was windblown from the jog over here, with loose strands falling around her face. I moved my hand up so it was resting on the back of her neck. Her skin felt so warm and smooth, and I wondered what the rest of her would feel like. She stiffened, as if she could read my thoughts.

“I should probably get going,” she said as she started to get up.

“Don’t go,” I said, as I slowly pulled her back down towards me. “You just got here. Tell me more. Like…I don’t know. Have you ever seen any of the bands in concert?”

“Um, yeah, my dad took me to see the Moody Blues at Jones Beach when I was like ten. It was just the two of us, and we spent the day at the beach. We even brought food with us and a little grill and cooked on the beach before the concert; it was a lot of fun. Oh, and my whole family went to see Bon Jovi last summer at Giants Stadium; that was pretty cool because all of my cousins came, but that’s about it. My dad says he’s seen plenty in his day and that he’s basically done with ‘that scene’, as he calls it.”

Before I could ask her anything else, she said, “You must’ve played in a band at some point, right?”

“Yeah, back in high school some friends and I had a band, but it was mostly for fun. We split up right after graduation.”

“Well, what about now? Do you have any friends who you play with now?” she asked.

I hesitated a moment before answering. I wasn’t sure I wanted her to know about Hudson-Nash. It wasn’t the music-- she obviously liked the kind of stuff we played; no, it was the crowd—specifically the girls—I was worried about. All I needed was for Amber or some other chick to stare Grace down, or worse, mention how recently we’d hooked up. I didn’t want Grace coming to the shows, but I didn’t want to further complicate the situation with a lie either. So I just said, “Here and there,” then, tried to distract her by gently pushing her back onto the couch.

“You should surprise me like this more often,” I said as I slid my hands just under the waistband of her sweats.

She smiled. “Maybe you could come by and surprise
me.
You’ve never even seen my dorm room.”

“You’re right about that,” I said as I bent my head down and started kissing her neck. “Maybe I’ll surprise you tonight.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Maybe…but I can’t say for sure cause then it wouldn’t be a surprise.” I had certainly succeeded in distracting her, but I kept kissing her, just to be sure. We were just getting into it when the bonehead came walking in the front door.

“Well, if it isn’t the happy couple,” Scott exclaimed as Grace scrambled to sit up. “How’re ya, Grace? Long time no see.”

“Hi, Scott,” Grace said, obviously embarrassed.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” he said innocently as he looked from me to her and back again.

“No, actually I was just leaving.” Grace stood up, straightening her t-shirt. She turned to me. “I’ll just talk to you later.”

“Yeah, sure, okay.” I said, but I stood too and followed her to the door. When I opened it, a cold blast of air streamed in, making us both shiver. I grabbed her hands and we just looked at each other for a minute.

“So…maybe I’ll see you later?” She was smiling.

“Maybe…” was all I said, but I was smiling too.

She stepped back and took her iPod out, then put the ear buds in and scrolled through her playlist. She smiled at me and mouthed, “Magic Power,” then she turned and headed down the path that led to the sidewalk. I waited until she broke into a jog before closing the door.

“Do you have to be such an idiot?” I said to Scott when I returned to the living room.

“What do you mean?” he asked, looking genuinely confused.

“You really embarrassed her.”

“Who, Grace? No I didn’t!” He raised an eyebrow at me. “And besides, what do you care?”

“I don’t…it’s just…I mean…” The bastard had caught me off guard. “Well, I don’t actually have the money in my hands yet, so I don’t need you going and being such an idiot, that’s all.”

He shot me an incredulous look, then shook his head and started flipping through the channels. “Whatever, dude.”

“Yeah, well, just be careful.” Then, before I could make an even bigger fool of myself, I went into my bedroom and closed the door.

I had to admit Grace had surprised me. All along I’d just thought of her as some nerd, now I find out we actually had something in common—and it’s the reason I’d started scamming her in the first place. Shoving the guilt to the back of my mind, I decided I was definitely going over to her place tonight. I didn’t know
what
would happen when I got there, all I knew was that I had to see her again.

©

I got to her place around seven o’clock. As I made my way to her building, I wondered if the bizarreness of this afternoon had worn off. I was about to text her to buzz me in, but then I saw a couple of girls entering the building and followed them. But when I got inside I realized I didn’t even know which room was hers. There was no directory, so I asked the girls if they could tell me where Grace’s room was. As they directed me to the second floor, third door on the left, I noticed one of them checking me out. She was kinda hot, and for a brief moment I thought about chatting her up, but instead I just thanked them and climbed the stairs.

Grace answered right after the second knock, almost as if she were waiting. “Tanner!” she exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. Her hair looked wet, like she had just gotten out of the shower.

I slipped my arms around her waist and, pulling her close, I drawled, “Suuuurprise…”

She giggled and hugged me, putting her head against my chest. “I’m glad you came.” She stepped back a bit. “So let me show you around.”

I looked around the tiny room and joked, “This’ll be quick.”

It took her all of a thirty seconds to point out her and Beth’s respective areas, then she offered me a drink.

“Sure, what’d you got?”

“Water, soda or some kind of juice, but I’m not sure what kind since there’s no label on it.”

“I’ll stick with water,” I said. “Where’s Beth tonight?”

She hesitated a second as she handed me the water. “She went out. What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” I said, looking around the small room, “how about cards? Do you have a deck of cards?”

“I do, but it’s a really sorry looking deck,” she said as she walked over to the dresser and pulled out a deck of frayed cards held together with a rubber band. She handed the cards to me, saying, “I used to have a really cool deck that I got in Atlantic City. It was one of the decks that was once used at the tables--you know, the ones with the hole in the middle. Anyway, I lent them to a girl down the hall and she lost them at a party. Anyway, this is a full deck—it’s just seen better days.”

“It doesn’t matter what the deck looks like,” I said, now shuffling the ragged cards, “I’ll beat you no matter what.”

“If that’s a challenge, you’re on,” she said as she hopped onto the bed, folding her legs Indian-style. “What’re we playing?”