Imposter in Zebra-striped Briefs (3 page)

“You’ll thank me for this later, mister, when I’m saving us thousands of dollars.”

Josh caressed Brandon’s back, watching the excitement cross his face as he flipped through the book and talked about his ideas. Josh was fascinated by the fact that Brandon was such a masculine bear on the outside and so sensitive and loving on the inside.

When Brandon was done, he looked over and caught Josh staring at him. “Were you even listening to anything I said?”

“Of course I was, baby, I was just wondering what else you have hidden under this bed that I should be concerned about.” Josh tried to play off his deeper thoughts, lunging to the side of the bed to look under it.

“Get back here,” Brandon said, grabbing Josh.

Josh rolled back over and snuggled up next to Brandon. “How big is this event you have planned, anyway?” Josh kissed Brandon’s shoulder. He wasn’t broke, but he definitely didn’t have a lot of savings to spend on a big wedding. And he didn’t have any family to help pay for it. “Do you have our bachelor party planned as well?”

“I was thinking intimate, just close friends and family. If we do it all here, we can have a joint bachelor party next weekend and get married the following weekend while my mom’s in town,” Brandon assured him.

Josh’s head was spinning, not that he was questioning marrying Brandon, but this was all a bit fast and overwhelming, and Brandon knew family was a tough subject for him. Brandon traced the magnolia tattoo Josh had added to his sleeve last month. It reminded him of Brandon. The flower was Brandon’s favorite from growing up down south. You would think the light-blooming flower would look odd against the dark symbols from Josh’s past, but it was a perfect visual for how Brandon had changed the darkness in his life. Brandon was his family now.

“You really are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You know that, right?” Josh said, staring into Brandon’s eyes before he leaned in and kissed him.

“Just for that, I’ll even throw in a stripper for the bachelor party. Now let’s go raid the fridge because I’m starving too. Someone owes me dinner,” Brandon said with a smirk, and walked out of the bedroom.

Chapter 3

Moving Day
(Nathan)

TODAY’S THE
day
, Nathan thought, putting the last box in the back of the moving truck he had rented.

“I cannot believe you are actually going to do this,” his mother huffed behind him. “What am I supposed to tell people? You know what that area is known for.”

“Yes, Aurora, I do.” He chose not to talk about the neighborhood’s openly gay community with her.

“Well, don’t think you can waltz back in here when you realize how the other half lives.”

“Aurora,” his stepdad warned, trying to get her to be nice.

“It’s okay,” Nathan said, closing up the back of the mini U-Haul truck. He liked Keith; he would occasionally go to bat for him when he felt his mom was stepping over the line. “I need to do this, Mom.” Nathan saw the annoyed look, as he accidentally called her Mom. “I’ll call you when I get settled in.”

“Don’t bother,” she said, heading back into the house, her heels clicking across the paved driveway.

“She’ll get over it, Nathan. Just give her a few days,” his stepfather said, even though they both knew his mom didn’t get over anything unless it ended her way.

Nathan tilted his head in acknowledgment and hopped in the truck, started it up, and drove down the winding driveway and through the front gate.

Nathan was almost giddy with excitement as he made his way out of Madrona, like someone had lifted a heavy blanket off him that had been smothering him for years. He rolled down the window, feeling the fresh breeze across his face. His life was going to start today.

Chapter 4

Welcome to the neighborhood
(Josh)

“WHAT’S ALL
that noise?” Brandon asked from the kitchen.

Josh looked over the back of the couch and saw Brandon walk to the front door and look through the peephole. They had been sitting around, enjoying a lazy Saturday morning. When Brandon did a double take, he knew he was screwed. He forgot Nathan was moving his stuff in that day.

“Holy shit, Joshua!” Brandon bellowed, running into the kitchen. For a stocky guy, he was awfully fast. “You’re being robbed. Call the police. There’s a guy standing in your apartment rifling through a box,” he screeched, racing back, ready to go to war armed with a broom and a dustpan.

Josh jumped over the back of the couch and intercepted Brandon before he could attack their new neighbor. Apparently it was time to ’fess up.

“Hey, as adorable as it is seeing my burly guy defending my home with cleaning supplies, that’s not my home anymore.”

“But your stuff? It’s gone! We’re not just going to let them rob you.” Brandon’s breathing was heavy with adrenaline.

Josh grabbed Brandon’s shoulders to stop him from going any farther. “Baby, how many times have I spent the night at my place since we got together?”

“Two maybe,” he answered, looking confused and still trying to push past Josh.

“Yeah, once was when you were out of town at that gardening trade show, and the other when you got all mad and sent me home.”

“Okay, that doesn’t explain why you are not freaking out right now that your stuff is gone.” He almost hit Josh in the head as he gestured frantically with the broom.

“I don’t live there anymore. I rented it out to someone else,” Josh said, not meeting Brandon’s eyes.

“What are you talking about? Why? What? Where is all your stuff? What do you mean you rented your place out?”

“I didn’t see any point in keeping it since I never stayed there. I kept trying to talk to you about it, but relationship talks suck.” Josh sounded like a whiny teenager.

“So you thought it was a better idea to secretly move in with me?”

“Yes?” Josh answered, looking ashamed.

“And all your stuff?”

“It’s here already. I didn’t really have that much. I sublet my place furnished, and baby, you got so much crap in here, you didn’t even notice the things I did bring with me.”

“Did you just call all my furniture crap?” Brandon asked furiously.

“Oh, come on, you know I didn’t mean it like that. You know I like your place. It’s all you: your books, your candles and matching towels, and those silly throw pillows. Everything about you makes this place a home. I hated the thought of ever going back to my place, so I guess it made me feel better to remove the option. I wanted my home to be with you.”

Brandon stood there for a minute, staring at Josh before he finally spoke. “I knew you were worth it.” He shook his head with a slight grin on his bearded face.

“What?” Josh asked, confused by Brandon’s response to his confession.

“All those times I saw you bring home randoms from the bar and heard you kick them out a few hours later.” Josh looked down at the floor, embarrassed Brandon was bringing up his past. “Your constant refusal to let me get close to you.” Brandon set the dustpan on the table and reached up to get Josh to look at him. “I knew deep down you were worth the effort. I am so lucky to have you, Joshua.”

Josh leaned in and gently touched his lips to Brandon’s, relieved Brandon finally knew everything and he hadn’t lost him.

“Come on, we have a big day ahead of us. Let’s go meet our new neighbor.”

“Oh, I met him the day he came to look at the apartment. It was actually kind of funny. I tried to hide him because you came home early, and he thought I was making a move on him and he tried making out with me. He’s a cute kid,” Josh said, chuckling as he turned to head toward the door.

“You seriously have no idea how relationships work, do you? Are you telling me our new neighbor kissed you, and you’re acting like it was nothing?” Brandon asked.

“It
was
nothing, baby. He was so embarrassed when I pushed him off me, I felt kind of bad for the guy. He’s an odd little duck. I didn’t get the impression that he hits on men very often, still a closemouthed kisser and all, but you know I’m irresistible.”

“Seriously, stop talking,” Brandon said. “Let’s go see if he needs any help moving in.”

“Okay, but don’t you think you’re going to start June Cleavering him like you did me.”

Brandon stopped midstride as he went to open the door. “June-what-ing him?” he asked as he slowly turned around.

Josh knew he had fucked up as soon as the words left his mouth. Stupid relationship Tourette’s. “Ummm, nothing. Never mind. Let’s go meet the neighbor,” Josh said as he walked past Brandon to the door.

“Not a chance.” Brandon reached over Josh’s shoulder to stop the door from opening. “Explain, please.” Even though Brandon was the more soft-spoken, nice one in this relationship, he also had Josh by about forty pounds and used it when needed.

Josh turned to face the inevitable. “When I moved in to the building, you always tried to take care of me from across the hall, bringing me food and checking on me when I was sick. Like June Cleaver…,” he said under his breath.

“I reminded you of June Cleaver?” Brandon looked confused and mildly insulted.

“Not literally. Like June Cleaver with a penis.” Josh made things worse by clarifying.

“Oh my God, what are you talking about?” Brandon gasped, appalled.

“Hang on a second before you get all fired up again. You know I’m not good talking about this stuff. I just meant you took care of me, made me feel special to someone for the first time in my life, and I fell in love with you. So no, I don’t want the new neighbor to get the same treatment I got.”

They stared at each other in silence.

“Totally worth it,” Brandon said, leaning in and giving Josh a kiss before opening the door. “Come on.”

Nathan was just heading in with another box, looking like he was about to drop it, when Brandon and Josh came out of their apartment.

“Here, let me help you,” Brandon said, grabbing the box from Nathan.

“Nathan, this is my fiancé, Brandon,” Josh explained, walking up behind Brandon. It was the first time he had called him that. It felt right.

“Welcome to the building.” Brandon shifted the box so he could offer his hand to Nathan.

“Hi. Uh, thanks,” Nathan said.

Nathan’s slight blush when looking back and forth between Josh and Brandon let Josh know he was remembering the “incident” that occurred last time he was here.

“You got more out in the truck?” Josh asked. “We’ll help you unload.”

“Oh, thanks, but you don’t have to. I can get it all.” Nathan attempted to take the box back.

“That’s what neighbors are for.” Brandon turned with the box and headed toward Nathan’s apartment.

It took them an hour to unload the truck. The majority of Nathan’s belongings consisted of shelves and enough books to make a librarian proud.

“Thanks for all your help. I would offer you guys a drink, but I haven’t gone shopping yet, so the fridge is bare,” Nathan said.

“That’s okay. We appreciated the workout. You really like to read, I take it?” Josh teased.

“Yeah, I guess,” Nathan said, looking at the floor.

“That’s cool. Well, we’ll let you get settled in.” Josh put his arm over Brandon’s shoulder and headed back to their place.

“Hey, you’re moving in at a perfect time. We’re getting married in two weeks,” Brandon said, turning back around.

“Oh, ummm, congratulations,” Nathan said, looking mildly confused as to why it was a good time to be moving in.

Brandon smiled at Josh as he placed his hand on Josh’s waist. “We’re having a joint bachelor party next weekend up on the roof. You should join us. Meet everyone. I should warn you, though, there is going to be a male stripper.”

“Oh, that’s great…. Um, I mean, it’s fine. I mean, that doesn’t bother me….” Nathan’s face turning red again.

Joshua chuckled under his breath until Brandon discretely punched him in the gut.

“I’m sure we’ll see you around this week, but the party starts at eight Saturday night,” Brandon said as they left.

Chapter 5

The Stripper
(David)

“I’M SERIOUSLY
going to murder you in your sleep one of these days,” David said as he held up the zebra-striped mini boxer briefs, doubting his penis would even fit in them.

“Oh, come on, bro. You’ve got to help me out,” his brother Jamie wheezed from the couch. “If I call in sick, they will fire me.”

“Well, you better start looking for a new job ’cause there is no way in hell I’m putting that on and giving some dude a lap dance,” David assured him.

“Oh God, I feel like I’m dying,” Jamie said as he covered his head with his blanket and proceeded to cough like he was actually going to die.

“You’re not dying. It’s a cold. And you’re the one who got yourself into this stupid job. I am not saving you this time,” David said, throwing the ridiculous underwear onto the table.

“You know this is the only job I could find that pays me enough to go to school full-time and cover my half of the rent,” Jamie whined as he continued to cough up a lung. “You just have to dance one song and leave. You can totally do this. You’re still in shape from soccer, and you’re not a completely horrible dancer…. Just help me out this once. Please, David.”

Ha! Once his ass. David had spent most of his life getting his little brother out of trouble. Their mom referred to Jamie as a “free spirit,” which in layman’s terms meant flakey and irresponsible. He rarely thought things through before he acted, like deciding to become a gay male stripper to pay his way through school. He wasn’t even gay, but he said men paid double what woman did in tips. Mom thought he was a flower delivery guy. All their dad’s dreams of his boys playing professional soccer wasted on a lazy stripper and a woodworker with a blown knee.

“Come on, David, I’ll owe you big.” Jamie no longer sounded like himself, he was so congested.

“You have nothing I want, Jamie.” David grabbed the garbage can from the kitchen and began cleaning up Jamie’s mess of Kleenex littering the living room.

“I’ll get my own place,” Jamie said, and stopped David in his tracks.