Impostor (2 page)

“What’s the matter?”

What
wasn’t
the matter? There were so many answers to that question. With Major’s presence looming close behind me, I inched closer to the bed. Closer to the girl who needed to die so I could pretend to be her. Major’s hand landed on my shoulder, but it wasn’t a comforting touch.

“This is your chance to prove yourself, Tessa.”

I pulled away from him, shaking myself free of his grip. My hand trembled as I extended it toward Madison.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered as my fingertips touched her arm. It didn’t feel as warm as I’d expected. I knew her body was still alive, though maybe Major was right when he’d said it was really just an empty shell. Something was missing. Usually when I touched someone, there was a certain kind of energy, a unique presence I could feel; but with Madison I felt nothing. Still, as I stood there among the beeping machines, I could feel my body absorb her “data.”

As far as FEA scientists could gather, my DNA incorporated foreign genetic instructions into its own unique strand as dormant DNA that could be activated when necessary. I felt the familiar tingling starting in my toes, the way it always did when my brain memorized every detail of someone’s appearance and my body felt eager to try it on. I suppressed the sensation. I wouldn’t change into her now; I would wait until I no longer had a choice. Soon, I’d be able to copy her perfectly despite the fact that I didn’t yet know anything about her—not about her worries, her fears, or her dreams. I’d be nothing but a hollow imitation of the girl she used to be.

After a few seconds, I pulled back, but I still couldn’t take my eyes off the girl who’d never walk out of this room again. And though her survival would ruin the mission, I wished that she’d prove everyone wrong, that she’d miraculously heal and return to her family and friends.

“You should dry your tears before you leave the room,” Major said.

I looked up. He had already turned to talk to Hawk-Face in the doorway. I wiped the moisture from my cheeks and leaned down, close to Madison’s face. “You have to live, do you hear me? Please, please live.” But a part of me knew there was nothing left in her to listen to my plea.

• • •

A few hours later, I tossed in my bed, unable to fall asleep. The image of Madison was stamped into my mind. I shifted uncomfortably. My tablet felt like it had burned a hole into my upper thighs. I’d been watching movie after movie, which usually helped lull me to sleep. But not tonight.

A knock sounded from the door. I pulled my earbuds out and turned off the screen. Holly had turned her back to me and was breathing evenly. She always dozed off at exactly 11
P.M.
You could set a timer by her.

I tiptoed toward the door, shivering as the cold from the tiled floor seeped into my bare feet, and quietly pried it open.

Alec stood waiting in the corridor. He held up a DVD. The jacket showed a warped, scarred face partly covered with an ax. “Want to watch the newest horror shocker?” I glanced at the clock. It was almost midnight. “We haven’t done a movie night in weeks,” he added.

Yeah, more like
months
.

“That’s not my fault,” I said, a heavy silence descending on us. Kate had destroyed movie night—what had been Alec’s and my tradition since I’d joined the FEA.

He lowered the DVD. “Is that a no?”

I snatched the DVD from his hand and brushed past him into the corridor. “You take care of the snacks. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Alec caught up with me in two sweeping steps. From the corner of my eye, I saw him smile. His hand brushed against my arm, and I had to stop myself from grabbing hold of it.

A few minutes later, we settled onto the uber-comfy sofa in the common living area. It was deserted, silent except for the hum of the vending machine that sat in the far corner.

Alec put a bowl of gummy bears between us and propped his legs up on the table. He was wearing black jeans and a tight black T-shirt with a picture of Chucky, the killer doll, printed on the front. I’d given it to him shortly after moving in with the FEA. He’d worn it often—until Kate. She preferred him in boring collared button-downs.

Alec kept glancing over at me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You know, if you don’t feel ready for the mission, I’m sure Major would understand.”

I laughed. “Are we talking about the same person?”

Alec’s expression became fierce. “He can’t force you to do something you’re not ready for. I’ll talk to him.”

“No.” I touched his arm. “It’ll be okay. I can do this.”

He didn’t seem convinced.

I started the movie and a scream ripped through the silence as the ax murderer killed his first victim. Keeping an eye on the screen, I sorted the gummy bears, piling the green and white ones in a heap on my thighs and leaving the others for Alec.

“You always do that, you know,” Alec said.

I swallowed a gummy bear. “Do what?”

“Bite their heads off first.”

I shrugged. “It’s the nice thing to do. If you could choose, would you rather be eaten alive starting at your feet or would you want it to be over quickly?”

“Well, if it was up to me, I’d rather not be eaten at all.” Slowly, a grin crept over his face. It was a look I hadn’t seen in a while. Lately, he’d been so serious all the time. His moods had almost matched Major’s. Ever since he and Kate had been sent out into the field a few months ago—the mission from which they’d returned as a couple—Alec had been changing. Every day I felt him slipping away from me, our friendship crumbling before my eyes. But I had no idea what had transpired between then and now, as neither he nor Kate ever spoke a word about the mission—Major’s orders.

“You’re weird. You know that, right?” he said.

I poked his chest. The muscles felt like steel under my fingertip. He snagged my hand, his thumb and forefinger curling around my wrist. His other hand shot forward and began tickling my side. A mix of laughter and screeching tumbled from my lips as I tried to wriggle out of his grip, but with his strength it was useless. I pulled my legs up to my chest and tried to push Alec off with them. Suddenly, he leaned over me, his face mere inches from mine. I stopped struggling, for a moment even stopped breathing. He was so close. If I moved my head forward, our lips would touch. His breath fanned over my face, his eyes darting to my mouth, but then he settled back against the cushions, as far from me as possible. My cheeks burned as I returned my attention to the screen, just in time to see someone get beheaded by an ax.
Figures
. That’s just how I felt.

For a few minutes, it had been like old times—like the days before Kate became Alec’s girlfriend. But those days were over now.

CHAPTER 3

T
he next morning, my preparations for mission “Be Madison Chambers” began. It was sad how easy it was to summarize the life of an eighteen-year-old girl in eighty neatly typed pages. In uncaring black and white, the report told me everything I needed to know in order to blend in with Madison’s friends and family. Or so Major thought.

Kate had done a good job extracting information from the minds of Madison’s friends and mother. But the file still lacked any mention of Madison’s emotions, her thoughts, her internal life. It was like telling someone to enjoy a beautiful piece of music simply by looking at the notes.

Madison weighed 7 pounds and 2 ounces when she was born. She started playing the piano when she was seven years old. She had a cat named Fluffy that she’d gotten for her ninth birthday and a fraternal twin brother, Devon. She loved peanut butter cookies and was allergic to tuna and capers. She had been a cheerleader until shortly before the attack.

A stack of photos fell out of the file, spreading around my feet. I crouched down to pick them up and began looking through them. There was Madison as a little girl, dressed in a bunny costume. Madison in the middle of a group of grinning girls, braces flashing in her mouth. Madison hugging her father and brother.

I didn’t even want to imagine how the FEA had gotten access to them.

Madison was so full of life in the photos; all shiny blond hair, sparkling blue eyes, and happy smiles. And someone had taken that light from her.

I snapped the file shut as tears prickled the corners of my eyes. I didn’t want to get to know Madison, didn’t want to learn about her quirks and interests, because it made her too real. This wasn’t right.

“Tessa?”

Alec.

I rubbed my hands over my face—silently thankful for waterproof mascara—and rearranged my ponytail. “Come in.”

The door opened with a creak.

Alec took up most of the doorway, tall and muscled as ever. He’d never entered my room before, and it didn’t look like that would change anytime soon. Sometimes I wondered why he was so reluctant to come in. I often wondered if he didn’t trust himself to be alone there with me. But I knew that was probably just wishful thinking.

“You okay?”

I felt my skin flush. “Yeah, I’m fine. Is there something you want?”

For a moment he seemed to look right through me. His eyes were so intense. Did he remember that moment last night? Heat gathered in my stomach, but then he cleared his throat. “Major wants our training to start today.”

“Oh, right. Sure.” We didn’t normally have any classes on the weekends, but our time before the mission was tight. Alec’s eyes lingered on me for a moment before he disappeared from view. “In the dojo in ten minutes. Don’t be late.”

Had I imagined the way he’d just looked at me? I shook my head to get rid of the thought.

I grabbed simple gray sweat pants and a white T-shirt from my drawer. Just as I was about to get dressed, Holly burst in, her hair still damp from her morning swim. Her natural color, a nice light brown, showed at the hairline. “You’re leaving already?”

“Yeah, Alec wants me in the dojo in—” I glanced at the clock on the wall. “Nine minutes.”

She took my clothes from me and dropped them on the ground. “You’re not wearing those.”

“Holly, I don’t have time for your styling tips right now.” And I didn’t have the patience either. Looking cute wouldn’t get me out of the mission alive.

“Don’t be stupid. You’re having one-on-one lessons with Alec. Let me spell it out for you: Alone. With Alec. This is your chance.”

If she’d seen us last night, she’d know how hopeless it was.

“You know how focused Alec is during training. He wouldn’t even notice me if I walked into the dojo naked.”

“We’ll see.”

I slumped down on my bed and watched Holly rummage in her drawer. When she actually set her mind on something, she was a force to be reckoned with, and Alec and I were on top of her to-do list.

She flung an article of clothing at me and it hit me in the face. The scent of peach and vanilla filled my nose as I pulled it over my head. It was a white T-shirt. Without protest, I put it on.

“What’s so much better about this shirt?”

Holly pointed at my chest.

“Holly!”

“It’s funny.”

I groaned. In big red letters,
PLEASE TALK TO MY FACE; MY BREASTS CAN’T HEAR YOU
was written across my chest. “I’m not wearing this.”

“Oh, you are. And here, take these sweatpants. They’re not as loose as yours.”

I didn’t have the energy to argue with her, not with the way my brain had been in turmoil ever since I saw Madison. I wiggled into Holly’s sweatpants. At least they were black and happily devoid of any printed sayings.

I glanced at the clock. “Great, now I’m late,” I said as I hurried out of our room.

“Your legs look great,” Holly called after me.

“No running in the corridors!” Mrs. Finnigan, Major’s secretary, shouted. I’d never seen her run in the corridors, but she barely fit through the doorframe so it wasn’t really an option for her. I stumbled down the staircase, hurrying as fast as I could to the ground floor.

Within a minute, I arrived in the dojo, breathless from running four floors. I glanced over the green mats, floor-to-ceiling mirrors, and suspended punching bags. Alec was practicing high-kicks on one of the bags. I stopped short in the doorway. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, only black training pants. His muscles tensed with every kick, and the artificial light of the halogen lamps made his skin look golden. A large black dragon tattoo covered his right shoulder, hiding the scar he got as a small boy. He’d fallen through a banister, down two floors, after his parents had abandoned him in a crowded mall the day before Christmas. He shouldn’t have survived the fall, but his Variation saved him. Alec always said his Variation helped him cheat death but the FEA helped him survive.

Without looking over at me, he said, “You’re two minutes late.” He did another kick before he turned around.

His eyes immediately dropped to read the words on my chest. Warmth crawled up my neck, and I promised myself I’d thank Holly later.

He tore his gaze away from my breasts and looked at my face, showing not a hint of embarrassment. “Nice shirt,” he said dryly. “Oh, and twenty push-ups for being late.”

My smile faded. I walked up to him, trying my best not to openly admire the display of muscles on his chest. “Oh come on, Alec. Don’t act all high and mighty. You’re not Major.”

His gray eyes held mine, his expression hard. “Thirty push-ups, Tess.” His voice was strained.

Every time he used that nickname I wanted to bury my nose in his neck and let him hold me. Many years ago my mom had called me that. Back when she’d still cared for me, maybe even loved me.

I got down on my knees and supported my weight with my arms. The first few push-ups were okay, the following ones not so much, and by the time I reached number twenty my arms began to quiver.

“You should work out more often. Your arm muscles are almost nonexistent.”

What the hell. Was he trying to be funny? My arms weren’t that bad. Not everyone could be as strong and muscley as Alec. Actually, nobody was.

“Shut up,” I retorted.

I pushed myself up again. Only ten more to go. The mat beneath my body was the same pale green as the hospital gown Madison wore. A vivid image of her frail body flashed before my eyes. My arms gave way and my face hit the mat. The faint smell of feet and sweat crawled into my nose.

“Tess?” Alec put a warm hand on my shoulder. His voice was colored with worry.

He sat down beside me, and silence settled around us. “Do you want to talk about it?” Suddenly, I wanted to talk to him, wanted to tell him everything—much more than my thoughts about Madison. I pulled away. “No. Let’s practice.”

“You sure? I can tell Holly and Tanner that training is postponed.”

I jumped to my feet. “I’m fine.”

Alec took it easy on me after that. I could tell. My high-kicks were miserable. There was barely any power behind them. I had horrible aim and was out of breath within a few minutes. But every time I tried to summon my power, I was haunted by thoughts of Madison. Madison, the girl not much older than me who lay dying. The girl who wanted to become a vet. The girl who wanted to spend a year living abroad after high school. The girl who never would.

“Let’s see how good you are at getting rid of an attacker.”

I nodded, glad for the distraction.

Alec wrapped his arms around my waist and tried to drag me away. My attempts at stomping on his foot or kicking his shin were half-hearted at best. The feel of his naked chest pressed against my back wasn’t something I was desperate to get rid of.

“You’re not really trying, Tess.” His lips brushed my ear as he spoke, and a shiver shot through my body. My muscles went slack, any will to defend myself against him gone. His closeness felt so good, so right. I leaned my head back against his chest. He smelled like a spring morning in the woods, like spearmint and something spicy. Deep down I knew I shouldn’t crave his closeness as much as I did. I shouldn’t want him at all. He wasn’t mine to want.

He stiffened when our eyes met.

I still remembered the first time I’d seen him. He and Major had stood in their prim suits amid the ragged furniture and empty beer bottles littering my mom’s living room. Despite my fear and embarrassment, his grey eyes had set me at ease, his smile assuring me I’d be safe with him.

And now, I couldn’t stop myself from looking at his lips. Slowly, he leaned down.

“Alec?”

Kate’s voice hit me like a wrecking ball. Alec dropped his arms and stepped back. She stood in the doorway, her copper eyes narrowed. I wasn’t sure how long she’d been watching us, but it was obvious that she was furious, despite the fact that nothing had happened. A tiny part of me felt bad for wanting Alec. He was with Kate. I shouldn’t like someone who had a girlfriend, but I couldn’t help it. I’d liked him from the day he’d taken me from my home, long before she’d come into the picture. Sometimes it felt like I’d never stop wanting him.

Kate smirked. “Nice shirt. Pity that you don’t have any real breasts to speak of.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, avoiding her gaze. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of reading my thoughts.

“Kate, stop it.” Alec’s voice held a warning.

He looked at me with an apologetic smile, but I didn’t want his pity, especially not after what Kate had just said.

“I thought we were going to watch a movie. Remember?”

I hated how her voice took on a whiny edge whenever she didn’t get her way. I wished Alec wouldn’t fall for it, wished he wouldn’t watch anything with her. Movie night was supposed to be our thing.

He grabbed a towel and wiped his face. “I can’t. Tessa and I are training for the mission. Holly and Tanner are going to join us soon.” He added the last part as if to placate Kate, whose face looked like she’d tasted something nasty. After a moment, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her. Her lips clung to his like a suction cup. I wanted him to push her away. I wanted him to kiss me like he kissed Kate.

I turned my back to them and took a few swallows from the water fountain, trying to banish the image of Kate’s lips on Alec’s. The sound of Holly’s high-pitched giggling, followed by Tanner’s baritone laugh, made me relax, and I finally dared to face the room again. Alec approached me; thankfully, Kate was gone.

Tanner had put in his septum piercing. Summers forbade him to wear it during training or missions. I always pictured a bull charging a red cape when I saw him, though with his skinny frame he looked decidedly more like a walking stick than a bull. Holly looked happy to be part of the preparations, even if she couldn’t go on the mission herself.

The two of them stood near the entrance, watching Alec and me until I felt like the awkwardness might crush me. Alec cleared his throat. “Tanner and Holly, thank you for joining us. Major thinks we should prepare for all eventualities and that includes the possibility of Tessa facing off with a Variant.”

I took a step back. I’d always known a Variant could be the killer, but somehow I’d never thought it through to the end, never considered the potential of having to fight against someone like me. It opened up so many scary possibilities I didn’t even want to think about, much less actually encounter. The killer might be able to manipulate me and make me compliant, could poison or stun me with his touch, could make me trust him against my will, and those were only the options that sprang into my mind; countless others could exist. I’d be heading into a fight without knowing if my opponent was uniquely armed or not, without having any idea how dangerous his weapons were. How could I ever expect to stay safe?

Alec touched my shoulder again, but this time I didn’t pull back. My eyes were drawn up to his and I knew he could read the fear and horror written all over my face. His fingers tightened, tension creeping through his body. “We don’t know for sure if a Variant is involved. If I thought there was any chance—” he paused for a moment before concluding. “I won’t allow anything to happen to you.”

I was dimly aware of Holly and Tanner standing beside us, but in that moment there was only Alec and me. And that was when reality really sank in. I’d be all alone, trapped in Madison’s home, her body, and her life. I’d meet people I didn’t know, people who might lie to me about Madison’s past and about their loyalties. I’d be the prime target of a killer who not only had an advantage over me through his local knowledge of Livingston, but possibly through a Variation.

“So what exactly are we supposed to do?” Tanner asked lightly.

The tension suddenly left Alec. “I want you to attack Tessa with your Variation. Holly, you will try to take her by surprise.” Holly nodded eagerly.

“It’s not likely someone invisible will attack you,” Alec said, catching the troubled look on my face. “But it’ll heighten your senses and help you focus. Don’t trust your eyes; use your ears. Tanner will keep you distracted. Now close your eyes so Holly can have a chance to disappear.”