Impulsive (The Soldier's Firm Hand) (7 page)

T
he next few hours I spent in my room getting absolutely nothing done aside from making myself miserable. I’d known it wouldn’t be easy to break things off, but if it had been the right decision, I should have been at least a little relieved and I wasn’t.

What I
was
, was moping on my bed folding his clothes over and over, and thinking about everything that had happened from the moment I’d landed at his feet to the hurt look on his face when I’d told him I wasn’t interested.

I’d put that look there, and it twisted in my heart like a knife.

Okay, so our relationship, if we still had one, wasn’t convenient or what I would’ve called typical. But if it worked for us, did it matter? I knew without a doubt that he’d lay down his life before letting anything happen to any woman he gave his heart to.

Did I dare take a chance on that woman being me?

It had to count for something that no other man had managed to work his way into my heart so quickly. Jared radiated strength, both physically and in personality. He could also be frustrating and cocky, but it wasn’t like I was exactly perfect myself. Something he’d seen demonstrated several times already.

Maybe breaking things off was just one more thing I’d lept into without thinking through.

I groaned and flopped back onto the bed. When did I turn into such a mess? What I kept coming back to was that Jared had been adult enough to apologize about judging me unfairly when we met. Didn’t I owe him the same courtesy? It might end up in heartache, but I needed to find out where we stood or all I’d have of him would be pictures and regret.

Swallowing my pride, I folded his things one last time and stuffed them in a bag. I’d been planning on leaving them at the desk when I left, but giving them back in person would give me as good an excuse as any to track him down and try to make things right.

I called down to the front desk and arranged another ride back out to the beach near his cottage. Hopefully he’d be there, because even though my phone was working again, I didn’t have his number, and that was the only place I knew to find him. If he wasn’t, well, as George would’ve said, fate works at its own speed. If we weren’t meant to be, then that would be that, but at least I’d have tried.

This time, even though I dreaded the tanning my behind was probably going to get, my decision felt right.

*** Jared ***

T
he window in the second bedroom swung open with a sticky tearing sound. Jared winced. Great, the room stank and now he’d have to touch up the spots where the paint had stuck together. It had been mostly dry, but apparently still tacky after being shut tight in the humid weather.

At least it gave him something to be pissed at besides himself and troublesome women who ran hot and cold like a tap.

Women.
Just when he thought he might be starting to figure them out, one went and threw him an unexpected curveball. Heavy on the curves.

“Shit.”

Lauren had definitely been into it, him, whatever. There was no faking that sort of chemistry, so for the first time in ages he’d let himself get a little optimistic about someone, only to get shot down hard for no apparent reason, and after one of the best nights he’d had in his life.

He grinned. If she thought he was going to be that easy to shake, she was in for a surprise, but right now he wasn’t in the mood to play nice. No, for now he’d sit back and lick his wounds a bit before throwing himself back into the ring.

Or at least that was the plan.

“Hello? Anybody home?” Lauren’s voice floated over to him through the window.

There was a knock on the door and some quiet muttering he couldn’t quite make out. So much for having time to regroup. It was time for plan B. Wing it. He wiped the spots of paint off his hands and yanked open the door. She jumped back a little, green eyes wide.

“
Was there something you needed?
” he asked sarcastically.

She flinched, guilt flashing across her face. “I guess I deserved that.”

“Yeah, yeah you did.” Jared ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “But come on in.”

“Thanks.” Lauren walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, nervously fiddling with a bag she was clutching. “I brought your stuff.”

“And?”

Her back straightened defensively. “And what? I had your clothes and I wanted to bring them back to you.”

“Well thank you, Lauren, but you didn’t need to come out here to do that. Everyone knows everyone around here, remember? You could have left that with almost anybody.”

“I liked it better when you called me kitten,” she said quietly.

The forlorn tone of her voice hit him right in the gut. “So did I.”

Lauren sighed and looked up. She looked sad and a little resigned. “Did I screw everything up? I was trying to be practical and think ahead for once. You aren’t in my plan. This wasn’t the right time or place to meet someone, so I’ve gotta be honest with you. I have no idea how this could work and it scares the hell out of me.”

He sat down and plucked the bag out of her stiff arms. “Oh, kitten. Neither do I, but I know that giving up is a bad way to start.”

His fingers wrapped around the back of her neck, tilting her face so he could capture her mouth. Their lips came together, and the frustration that had plagued him since that afternoon melted away.

Practical could go screw itself, this felt right.

Jared pulled her into his lap. She belonged there in his arms with her soft hair brushing against his skin and her sexy little body, warm and willing under his hands. They both knew it, so he was going to make sure she never doubted them again.

She moaned when he pulled away, trying to follow and continue their kiss.

Hungry little kitty
. He had every intention of getting more of that sweet mouth, but first they needed to clear a few things up. “You got one thing right earlier. We don’t know each other very well yet, but that’s going to change, starting now.” He wrapped her hair around his fist and pulled just hard enough to get her attention.

Her green eyes went soft and her mouth opened in a little ‘o’. Cheeks flushed and lips reddened from their kiss, she looked like his birthday and Christmas presents rolled into one.

“I’d never really hurt you. You know that, right?”

Lauren nodded, but her mouth twitched in a half-smile that made him chuckle.

“Punishments aside, brat, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know.” She raised her hands and slid her palms over his shoulders, reaching around to finger the short hairs on the back of his neck.

“Good, because that’s a part of the package, kitten. You’re an adult. I get that. I’m not going to dress you, or pick your friends or any of that, but I need someone who can handle the fact that sometimes I’m going to tan her ass because she needs the lesson,” He slid his other hand down her back and pulled her closer. “and sometimes I’m going to do it just because I want to, and I think we need it.”

A shiver ran down Lauren’s spine, but the way her face flushed and her body melted against his, he knew it wasn’t a bad sort of shiver.

“You like that, don’t you kitten?”

She squirmed, rubbing herself tantalizingly against him and sending blood rushing straight to his cock. “It hurt when you spanked me...”

“But?”

“But...” Lauren leaned in and whispered in his ear. “I kind of liked it too. Is that wrong?”

He loved this side of her, the tease that came out to play when she was happy. “No, kitten, but it means I might need to do other things sometimes to get my point across.”

“Like what?”

“You know what they say about curiosity.  If you want to find out, go into my bedroom, strip and wait for me. Consider this your first real taste of what being together would be like.”

“Wait, is this because I been bad, or because you think we need it?”

“Have you been...?” Jared barked out a laugh. “You tried to break us before there was even an us to break. This a good dose of both, kitten. Get your ass into the bedroom!” His hand landed solidly on her thigh with a loud crack.

Lauren yelped and scampered off his lap and out of the living room. It was a good thing he’d swung by the store before coming back, though if she’d agree with him when she found out what had been on the shopping list was yet to be determined.

*** Lauren ***

T
aking off my clothes was easy compared to figuring out what to do with myself afterwards. What did he expect? Was I supposed to kneel on the floor? Face the wall? Be doing jumping jacks in the corner with my hands behind my head?

Probably not that last one.

I settled for sitting on the bed and nervously moving my hands around to try and find a position that would look natural. The clock on the wall ticked, marking the seconds as time marched on. I fidgeted while waiting to find out what was in store for me.

If this was my first “real” taste, what had the other times been?

Never in a million years would I have guessed that I’d be alright with something like this. The first two times he punished me, there hadn’t been much warning, but this time I’d known the whole way here that if he agreed to forgive me, I was likely in for a sound spanking. And yet here I was, waiting naked for him to come and turn me over his knee.

A shiver ran down my spine at the thought of being held down and paddled. Deep in my soul I knew this wasn’t something I’d do for just anyone. I might have joked about spankings with previous boyfriends, but now I understood why I’d never pushed anyone into actually doing it. They hadn’t deserved it.

It takes more than a strong arm to discipline someone. Jared had an authority about him that made me want to please him, and even accept his punishments if I screwed up. He wasn’t perfect, but he held himself to a high standard, and would expect the same from me.

For the chance at the sort of happiness I could see with him, I’d put aside my preconceived notions about how my relationship with Mr. Right was
supposed
to look. So what if he was a bossy soldier instead of an artsy academic like my usual guys. Jared was my new favorite type.

The door opened, and even though I’d had nothing else to do but wait for exactly that, I still jumped. He stood there for a moment in the doorway, taking me in with an intensity in his eyes that made me blush.

“Good girl, thank you for listening.”

I rolled my eyes, but the compliment made my stomach flutter. “I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Is there a position or something? Aren’t there positions?”

We’d already seen each other naked, but being the only one without my clothes on while he was watching me with all my imperfections on display made me feel vulnerable. The situation should’ve felt more sexual than it did. In some ways it was more like getting called into the principal’s office.

“Why, is that something you’d like?” Jared looked at me curiously, and I noticed he was holding something in his hand I didn’t recognize.

“I... I don’t know.” I’d made the comment more out of nerves than anything, but when he called me on it, I found I wasn’t actually sure. “What is that?”

He ignored my question. “Let’s call that a ‘not for today’. Some people find formality comforting, but there is no right answer besides what works best for us.” Jared came over and held up what looked like a potato whittled off into a mushroom like shape. “I’m glad you came to me today, but you should know that I wasn’t going to let you go so easily. I picked up a little something in anticipation of helping you learn your lesson next time we were together.”

“That’s a little presumptuous. Don’t you think?” I teased, unable to see what exactly he could do with a potato that was going to teach me anything.

“Was it?” He skimmed the backs of his fingers over my puckered nipples and sparks shot through my body. I let out a breathy little gasp and he smiled. “Now stand up, and bend over with your forearms on the bed.”

I stood, letting him position me the way he wanted. His touch was gentle, but with an authority that gave me no illusions about who was in charge. If I asked, I knew he’d let me go, but by putting myself into his hands, I was telling him that I accepted his control.

The feeling was both frightening and exhilarating at the same time.

“Like this?” As my arms sank into the mattress, all of my most private areas became open and available to him. Anticipation of what was coming made my heart beat faster and my breathing shallow. My body tensed, waiting for his touch, not sure if it would be a tender caress or the sting of his palm.

Not sure which I wanted more.

I started when he put a hand on my lower back, and then something cool and slick nudged between my cheeks and brushed against the tight pucker of my bottom.

“What are you doing?” I twisted my head to look at him, but he didn’t stop, holding me in place and slowly rubbing what must have been that potato against my little hole. “I don’t think you should...” It felt so strange and foreign that I couldn’t help squirming. “Is this my punishment?”

“Relax, kitten. This is just a little something to help spice up your spanking because I don’t want to do too much after last night. It’ll keep you from tensing up and getting hurt more than necessary. It’s normal for it to tingle and burn, but tell me if you really can’t stand it anymore.”

Tingle? Burn?
What the hell was he going to do to me? “Um, Jared?”

I gasped as the plug, no longer so cold, pressed into my bottom. It didn’t feel very big, and it didn’t hurt, but it felt wrong and out of place. He worked it into me slowly, twisting the rounded tip back and forth. My muscles reflexively fought the intrusion, clenching tight around the intruder.

“Not much more. Try to push out for me while it goes in.”

If his point was embarrassment, he was succeeding. It was humiliating to have something stuck up there, but taking a deep breath, I forced myself to relax. Jared stroked my back and with a quick push, it popped into me, leaving a hard knob on the outside I could feel between my cheeks.