Authors: Carys Jones
“I suppose that Christmas is a time for miracles,” she told him. “Perhaps one of us will get what we want.”
*
That night Marie didn’t lay awake listening for sleigh bells. She’d struggle to hear them over Sebastian’s incessant snoring from his position on the floor. Instead she lost sleep to frantically pouring over ways she could return to Azriel. Did she need to recreate the car accident? Did she need to be back in a coma? She’d heard about medically induced comas. Perhaps she could pay some doctor to put her in one of those? Only temporarily so she could reconnect with her beloved Azriel and find a more permanent way to get back there.
With her head upon her pillow and her eyes wide open Marie heard her parents come stumbling in from their night of carolling, merry from mulled wine. Their laughter carried up the staircase and in to her room. For a brief, blissful moment they were released from the stress of worrying over Marie. They could forget about their broken daughter and just be free.
Marie envied them. She envied their ability to escape their troubles. She felt like she was constantly drifting in darkness with no obvious way out, no release.
A familiar ache began to form behind her eyes which soon progressed to a sharp, piercing pain as though someone had taken an ice pick and was stabbing her soft, delicate brain matter with it. Pressing a hand to her temple Marie squeezed her eyes shut as the pain intensified.
She wondered what these outbursts of pain were. They were becoming more frequent and more debilitating.
Pulling herself in to the foetal position she wished the pain away as her body broke out in a light sweat. Beside her Sebastian slept soundly, like her parents he was temporarily released from the pained anguish of loving her as she remained so beautifully broken.
The presents beneath the tree remained unopened. Previously, Marie would have eagerly ripped off the decorated paper to get to the precious contents inside whilst it was still dark out. But this year they were still perfectly wrapped and placed beneath the tree as the family settled down to breakfast.
Carol Schneider was wearing a jumper on which was stitched a smiling snow man. She grinned widely as she greeted her daughter that morning, wrapping her arms around her and wishing her a Merry Christmas.
Bill and Sebastian were less concerned with the festivities of the day. They both sat quietly at the kitchen table, studying their food. Neither had any appetite.
“Come on, eat up,” Carol urged them merrily. The small radio in the kitchen was on and filling the room with Christmas songs. It should have been a jovial scene but something was off.
Marie wished she could embody her mother’s enthusiasm for the season but she felt lacklustre and worn out, like a house that desperately needed a new coat of paint. She wanted to stand out but she couldn’t, she was missing something.
Sebastian couldn’t look any of the Schneiders in the eye as he played with his food. He kept thinking about how he had to return to London with Marie the following day. He assumed it would make sense to have Bill accompany them back down there. Bill was a smart man and could ultimately make a difficult decision if he had to. Carol on the other hand would be conflicted by her emotions. Sebastian didn’t want any extra upset to be added to the already difficult proceedings which were due to take place.
“Everyone is so quiet,” Marie noticed, glancing between her father and fiancé.
“It’s just early, that’s all, everyone will feel better once we’ve opened some presents,” Carol declared a little too enthusiastically.
She was desperately trying to raise her family’s spirits but her efforts were seemingly in vain.
Marie shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she felt the weight of regret pushing down against her. She should have kept Azriel as a secret, as her secret. Now that her family knew the truth they looked at her differently, like she was some confused child who just needed pointing in the right direction.
“Who wants to open their presents first?” Carol asked eagerly, glancing between the occupants at the table.
Marie had already dubiously eyed the presents beneath the tree. There were an assortment of wrapped boxes, some small some considerably larger. She imagined that they contained chocolates and socks, some with perfume sets others with DVDs. She wasn’t sure she could sit and feign excitement over the gifts. After all, there was no chance that one of the packages with her name on contained what she really yearned for; a way back to Azriel.
“I might go out for a bit,” Marie was careful to make her voice sound bright to ensure her parents didn’t immediately refuse the request.
“Out?” Carol uttered in dismay. “But we need to open presents, Marie. As a family.”
“I’ll open them when I get back,” Marie smiled. “I just feel like I could use some fresh air.”
She briefly rubbed a hand across her temple as she waited for the deliberation to be over. Her head still throbbed and nothing seemed to ease the pain. She’d already taken two ibuprofen that morning.
Carol looked to her husband for guidance. He was busy watching Marie, assessing how capable she was to talk a walk outside.
“Seb should go with you,” Bill announced.
“I’d rather go alone,” Marie replied sharply. She didn’t want a chaperone. She just wanted to get out of the house, to escape the oppressive sensation of the constant concerned stares which were directed towards her.
“Let her go, Bill, fresh air might do her good,” Sebastian suggested. He felt like his chest was about to rip open when he considered that it might be the last piece of fresh air Marie got to experience for a while. He knew he should afford her this small luxury before he played a hand in taking her freedom away from her for the greater good.
“Okay, but don’t be long,” Bill pointed a stout finger at his daughter who nodded as she carefully got up from the table.
“I won’t be long, Daddy,” she declared in a sweet, sing song voice and for a brief moment the old Marie resurfaced, smiling softly with bright eyes.
*
There was a small park near Marie’s parent’s home. When she was younger she’d visit it every day and demand to be pushed higher and higher in the swing seats. Then, as a teenager she’d hang around the park after dark with her friends and partake in a forbidden cigarette or two or drink cider straight from a plastic bottle bought at the nearby Spar shop.
Marie had grown up around the park and whilst she had flourished in to a young woman the park had fallen in to a sad state of neglect. The swings were now rusted and unusable. The slide was gone, so were the monkey bars. Weeds had sprouted up through the tarmacked floor, breaking crudely through the surface and creating ugly whelps in the once perfect surface.
It saddened Marie to remember how the park had been during her youth. The blue of the swings had been as bright as the sky but now the bars were coated in graffiti, their original colour obscured.
Pulling her coat around her she slowly approached a bench which overlooked the park. The area around her was unoccupied save for a few dedicated dog owners who were out walking their beloved pets before commencing with the days’ festivities.
A cool breeze danced across Marie’s cheeks and she savoured the sensation. She felt like it had been an eternity since she had been outside on her own.
Carefully she placed herself down on the bench, her legs already screaming with discomfort following the short walk from her house. She looked back the way she had come, half expecting to see Sebastian following after her, checking she was alright. But her family had held true to their word, they had allowed her this brief period of time to be alone with her thoughts.
Leaning back Marie looked up at the sky which was darkening with the threat of rain. The air around her grew cooler and she considered that she might have to head back sooner than she’d intended. Lowering her head back down to her chest she physically jumped on the spot when she suddenly realised with a plunging sensation that she was no longer alone on the bench.
A woman was sat beside her wearing a bright pink parker coat and matching gloves. She had curly blonde hair which spun around her head in the breeze like a crazed halo. She was looking at Marie intently, her eyes wide and a frantic expression upon her face.
“Why do you not return?” she asked desperately.
“What?” Marie felt panicked. This woman wasn’t normal. This woman was another link to Azriel, she just knew it.
“You must return, we need you to return.”
“Then tell me how or leave me alone,” Marie shouted as she got up to her feet. Her legs still burnt with pain beneath her but she forced herself to ignore it and began quickly walking across the park.
The woman followed, calling out to her.
“North!”
Marie tried to block the woman’s voice out, telling herself that she wasn’t there, that it wasn’t real. How could it be?
“Princess North, please, stop.”
The woman caught up with Marie and placed a hand upon her shoulder. A hand that held weight and felt completely real. Surprised, Marie turned to face the woman. If she could feel her then surely she was real?
“You must come back to Azriel,” the woman said, panting slightly, her hand remaining on Marie’s shoulder.
“We can’t survive for much longer. The world is fading fast.”
“But why? Why is that happening?”
“When you returned, Azriel was renewed. But in your departure we were plunged back in to a never ending darkness. Without royal blood, we will slip away in to the ether forever.”
Marie shook her head. It was impossible. All of it.
“Why do you doubt your senses?” the woman demanded. “Don’t you see me? Hear me? Feel me?” she squeezed on Marie’s shoulder to further cement her point.
“Then how do I get back?” Marie cried. “I can’t get back to Azriel because I’m here! Tell me the way back and I’ll return.”
“We can’t tell you,” the woman admitted hopelessly, letting her gloved hand fall away from Marie.
“You have to discover it for yourself else it loses all power.”
Marie groaned in frustration.
“I’m trying to understand, to get back, but it’s impossible. Everyone here thinks I’m crazy.”
“It’s because you don’t belong here,” the woman said calmly. “They will never understand you.”
Marie flinched slightly at the statement. It saddened her to think that she’d forever remain distant from her family.
“I just want to get back to where I belong,” Marie announced with dismay. She was tired of feeling untethered, as though her soul were caught in a rouge wind and was powerless to find somewhere to land.
“And you will,” the woman reassured her. “But only if you act quickly, you’re running out of time.”
“Well how much time do I have?”
“Until the sun sets tomorrow,” the woman said gravely. “After that, Azriel will be lost forever.”
“But how are you here? How do you get back?” Marie looked desperately at the woman, hungry for answers.
“Marie,” Sebastian’s voice carried on the wind over to her. She turned quickly to look behind her where he was striding purposefully towards the park. Sighing, she spun back around to address the woman in the pink coat but the space she had been previously occupying was now completely vacant.
With her heart racing Marie scanned the area around the park which was empty, there wasn’t a soul in sight. Had the woman disappeared in to thin air? How was that even possible? No, Marie must have imagined her. She must be as crazy as everyone believed her to be.
Dejected, she turned to face Sebastian who had almost caught up with her.
“I didn’t mean to come rain on your parade,” he said apologetically. “I know you want time alone but your parents were worried about you. I also think that your mother can’t wait any longer to open all the presents.”
“Okay,” Marie allowed him to take her by the hand and start guiding her away from the park. Turning as she left she was certain she saw a flash of pink behind an oak tree. She stopped, considering returning to the park and finding the woman, eager to convince herself that she wasn’t crazy.
“Marie,” Sebastian tugged at her hand, urging her to continue in his direction. Marie was still with indecision as she contemplated what she should do. Then the elements made her decision for her as heavy raindrops began to come crashing down on to the earth around them.
“Come on, we’re going to get soaked,” Sebastian pulled her close and they walked as quickly as they could to avoid the rain but Marie’s legs were now almost useless as they pulsated with pain.
Feeling breathless with the agony Marie paused and placed her hands upon her knees, trying to catch her breath. Her chest stung with each heaved intake of air.
“We’re almost there,” Sebastian told her, offering her his hand.
Tentatively Marie took it and allowed him to take her back home. All the while as they walked and got soaked in the downpour she considered what the woman in pink had said. She’d told her that time was running out, she’d told her that she only had until the end of Boxing Day to return to Azriel or her kingdom would be gone forever.
*
“Oh my goodness you’re soaked,” Carol Schneider declared in dismay as outside rain lashed against the windows.
She ushered her daughter in to the lounge and placed her by the warmth of the gas fire. Marie shivered in her now wet clothes and was grateful for its heat.