Authors: Carys Jones
“I like that song,” she told him certainly. “It understands me.”
Sebastian paused on the step behind her, wondering what there could possibly be to understand about morbidly dark dreams of death. A shiver ran down his spine as he watched his fiancée carefully reach the bottom of the stairs and walk out of view.
Marie awoke on Christmas Eve to the sound of yet more Christmas pop songs being blasted throughout the Schneider household. Groaning, she rolled over and buried her head in to softness of her pillow.
She’d slept well but it had been deep and dreamless. She had not ventured over to Azriel as she’d hoped she would. Each time she slept and didn’t return she became increasingly anxious. Her memories of Azriel were already becoming less vivid. She’d forgotten small details as images began to blur together. She knew she had to find a way to get back there and fast before everything disappeared forever.
“Good morning sleeping beauty,” Sebastian said groggily as he stretched and sat up in his make shift bed upon the floor. Marie was still too sore to tolerate sleeping beside him.
“Mmm,” Marie muffled the sound in to her pillow. She could quite happily stay in bed but she knew the rigid Christmas Eve schedule would never allow it.
“I think we’re supposed to be going carolling tonight.” Sebastian said as he extended his long arms and let out a huge yawn.
“Count me out.”
“Why?”
“The idea of hobbling door to door on my crutches just doesn’t appeal to me. I’d rather stay in.”
“Okay, we’ll stay in.”
Marie released her pillow and carefully sat up in bed. Her cheek bore the imprint of the material which made Sebastian release an endearing grin.
“You don’t have to stay in,” she told him, rubbing her eyes and trying to wake up. “You don’t even have to be here. Wouldn’t you rather spend Christmas with your family?”
Sebastian looked hurt by the question.
“What?” Marie asked innocently.
“You are my family,” he explained.
“But don’t you come from some super rich family? I bet they eat caviar for Christmas and get each other expensive designer gifts rather than exploiting the latest Boots three for two deal. I’d much rather be somewhere like that.”
“I wouldn’t,” Sebastian told her. “I’d rather be here.”
Marie watched him to assess if he was being sincere or merely mocking her. His expression remained stoic, cementing the sentiment. She struggled to understand why anyone would choose her home over a more luxurious one. She’d certainly rather be in Azriel than in her parent’s three bed home in Manchester.
“What changed for you?” Sebastian titled his head to look at her.
“What do you mean?”
“You never used to care about money or anything like that. You were always so…happy. Just being you. But lately you are constantly sad and distant. I know the accident was terrible but why did it have to alter who you are?”
Marie dropped her chin to her chest. Even she had to admit that she preferred the version of herself prior to the accident to the current one. But things were different then, she hadn’t known about Azriel, about her true destiny, about the lie she had been living being stuck in this mundane world full of shades of grey. She belonged in a world of bright, wondrous colours where she was revered and loved by the people.
“You’d never believe me even if I told you,” Marie shrugged. She swung her legs out of the bed to get up but Sebastian placed a hand on her knee, holding her in place.
“Try me,” he urged. “Tell me what changed for you.”
For a while Marie wasn’t sure she could trust Sebastian. She thought he was perhaps keeping her from Azriel deliberately. But each day he remained at her side, even though the woman he had loved so dearly was gone. She owed him the truth. Moreover, keeping the secret locked up inside her was killing Marie. She was desperate to talk to someone, anyone, about how impossibly confused she felt every waking moment.
“You’re a good man,” she complimented him. “Can I trust you?”
“Of course,” he gave her knee a reassuring squeeze.
“Okay, well…” Marie took a deep breath, unsure how to begin. “After the accident, when I was in a coma, I went somewhere.”
“You went somewhere?” Sebastian’s eyes widened with surprise but other than that his expression was guarded. He didn’t want to reveal anything through his mannerisms which would deter Marie from proceeding with her story.
“Yes,” Marie confirmed. “I woke up after the accident in a different place, in a different world.”
“A different world?”
“Yes. I woke up in Azriel.”
“Azriel?”
“It is the most amazing place I have ever been to,” Marie gushed excitedly. “Everything is different there. The grass is such an amazing green and everyone wears these bright, beautiful clothes and their eyes sparkle with gold and the houses are gold and sparkle in the light,” she was speaking quickly, running her words together.
“Okay, okay, calm down,” Sebastian said gently.
“But the most amazing thing about it is that I am their long lost princess! I am the princess of Azriel and I belong there.”
Sebastian couldn’t conceal the pitying glance he gave Marie when she finished speaking.
“It’s true,” Marie declared knocking his hand off her knee. “I went there. I had my coronation and I wore dresses that looked as though they had been woven with a rainbow and I need to get back there. People keep approaching me, telling me I must return!”
“People approach you? What people?”
“Random people, when I’m alone, they come up to me and beg me to return to Azriel.”
“Marie-”
“Azriel is where I belong, Sebastian. You asked me what has changed and I’ve told you.”
For a moment there was silence between the two of them. Marie’s cheeks were flushed and adrenalin was darting through her system, making her heart rate quicken. She’d finally found the courage to speak the words aloud, to accept that Azriel was real.
The silence was disturbed by a brisk knock on the bedroom door immediately followed by the door being swung open to reveal Carol Schneider standing on the landing wearing a bright red jumper on which was sewn a smiling reindeer. Her outfit was accessorised by Christmas Tree shaped earrings and a head band which read; Merry Christmas.
“Morning lovebirds!” she addressed them both, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Marie, your Dad has made eggs benedict as a treat so put your dressing gown on and come enjoy it!
Miracle on 34
th
Street
is on the television so we can all sit and watch that together.”
“Okay, Mum.” Marie nodded.
“Sounds lovely, Carol,” Sebastian politely smile.
Still beaming Carol closed the door and they heard her footsteps retreat back down the staircase.
Marie glanced uneasily at Sebastian, unable to read him. Did he think she was crazy? Would he now send her to the nearest asylum and wash his hands of her?
“You believe me…don’t you?” she asked, her voice small.
Sebastian knew he had to choose his words carefully. Marie had confided in him.
“I believe that you think you went there,” he told her.
“I did go there.”
“Okay.”
“And I need to get back there.”
“Okay.”
“Stop saying okay,” Marie moaned, getting to her feet and pulling on her pink fluffy dressing gown.
“I opened up to you,” she added angrily.
“I know,” Sebastian said as he got up and stretched some more. “But how do you think it makes me feel when you tell me that this isn’t where you want to be? That with me isn’t where you want to be?”
“That’s not…” guilt flooded through Marie causing her body to stiffen. How could she be so callous as to not consider Sebastian’s feelings in all of this? She could have been more tactful in her delivery of her desire to return to Azriel.
“Sebastian, it’s about more than us, don’t you get it?” she tried to explain. “I belong there, I’m their princess. Without me, Azriel will diminish and the people there will cease to exist. I have to return there to save them.”
Sebastian remained looking hurt as he pulled her in to his arms, the dressing gown making her feel soft against his skin.
“I understand that to you this is all very real,” he told her.
“It is.”
“I think you should talk to your parents about it too.”
“You do?”
“Yes,” Sebastian nodded, releasing her from his arms and cupping her petite chin in his hand.
“Like me, they love you. They just want to know what is going on with you.”
“Okay,” Marie’s pink lips pulled in to a slight smile.
“Now go enjoy your eggs benedict I just need to shower.” Sebastian ushered Marie out of the room and leaned wearily against her bedroom door. It appeared that things were much worse than he’d previously feared. Marie had lost her mind. It explained the change in mood, the new persona she had adopted. But it also meant that she needed help. As her fiancé, Sebastian’s couldn’t have her institutionalised, but her parents could. With their consent she could get the help she truly needed. But first they needed to hear her talk of Azriel and her royal destiny; they needed to see how crazy their daughter had become.
*
“You always loved this movie,” Carol said as she sat beside Marie, their breakfasts carefully placed upon their laps.
“You would cry when Father Christmas signs to the little deaf girl at the store.”
“Uh huh,” Marie was only half listening to her mother as she hungrily ate down her egg and breakfast muffin covered in hollandaise sauce.
But as she focused on the movie the story resonated with her. Here was someone claiming to be someone special, someone magical and no one believed them. Everyone thought Kris Kringle was crazy when he said he was Santa Claus. They even put the poor man on trial. Her predicament was painfully similar. She too was someone special trapped in the real world and struggling to find a way back.
“I do like this movie,” Marie confirmed as she finished with her breakfast and commenced washing it down with a fresh cup of tea.
“I love all the Christmas movies, they are so magical,” Carol smiled. It felt reassuringly normal to sat side by side with Marie, watching festive movies and eating a special breakfast. It was a routine they had observed for many years and one which she hoped would never end.
After she’d given birth to Marie someone bought her a card which stated;
A Daughter is the Greatest Gift of All
. And she truly believed that. Marie was the most wonderful thing to have ever happened to her and she loved her unresolvedly.
“I’m so glad you are here for Christmas,” Carol admitted, growing tearful as her emotions began to overwhelm her.
Sebastian entered the living room to see Carol’s eyes watering and Marie looking intently at the television screen. He wrongly assumed that she’d already divulged in her delusions of Azriel.
“Did you tell your Mum?” he asked from the doorway, his hair still damp from the shower and clinging to his head.
“Tell me what?” Carol asked with interest, turning away from the television to face him.
“Marie, tell me what?” she prompted her daughter, eager to learn whatever she needed to be told.
“Marie told me why she’s been acting oddly since the accident. She told me that something happened which changed her. Why don’t you tell your Mum, Marie?”