In Between Seasons (The Fall) (20 page)

Oh, my god. These women were really starting to get to me. There was such a staunch difference between the time I spent with Hunter, and the time I spent on the coach that I felt I could go insane if I had to spend another moment with them. There was one reprieve from it though—Mara. We didn’t talk about much, but the knowing looks we gave one another were enough to keep me from yelling at the ridiculous statements that happened at that couch. As I looked over at her now, her light blue eyes seemed sad, and her small lips were curled downwards.

“I
s something wrong?” I asked
,
leaning in close to her so that no one would hear.

“Oh
, I was just thinking,” s
he replied
,
turning her face to look at me with a wary smile.

“Ab
out?”

She put her hand on my knee,
“If only I could tell you.”

“The sec
rets that bond us tear us apart,” I observed as I took
a deep breath.
That was one thing that I felt about Mara that I didn’t feel about the other women. There were layers to her, and a sad, but determined look always seemed to be on her face. The only exception was when she was with Rob. It was only then that she seemed to be truly happy. I imagined that she had the same impression of Hunter and
I
.

“I wish Rob would just come in for the d
ay. I’m tired of this,” s
he explained
,
her eyes glancing around the room.

“Yeah, tell me about it. They never shut up.”

Mara laughed,
“So what did you use
d
to do at your old home?”

“Fight with my father
, my sister or my mother,
”
I rolled my eyes at the thought.

“About what?” s
he asked
as she pulled
her knees to her chin
and
rested
her head there.

I was at a loss for
words;
too much time with her meant I
was getting closer tha
n I should be to her.

I shrugged, “Nothing in particular.”

“Forgive me for saying this
,
but
bull
shit. You aren’t
the kind to fight over nothing,
”
Mara retorted
,
her tone even
,
but
her eyes speaking for her.

“So what were you thinking about?”

“I get it,” s
he paused before she continued
, “I think in a different situation we would be friends though.”

“That would be nice,” I replied honestly. It would have been nice to have a friend. The thought was immediately dislodge from my brain as
something slam
med into the siding of the house, and both Mara and I jumped.

“What was that?” Amy
asked
,
standing.

Amy, Mara
and
I went outside to fi
nd Charlie
flat out on the ground with Hun
ter hovering over him fi
st raised.

“
I w
onder
what the dumb ass did
now?
” Amy
commented
as she rolled
her eyes
and
turned
back to go inside.

Hunter’s head turned
,
and
his
eyes me
t mine. The pain that showed in his face
gave me the feeling that I had no insides. I was
empty
, completely empty
and
he was too
. He swallowed
and
looked away a
s his fi
st came down
and
knocked
Charlie
clear out. Hunter’
s eyes met mine
and
his jaw clenched. The expression of his lips
and
jaw line would be mistaken by the women to be anger just like it was suppo
sed to be. I knew better though;
he w
as being torn apart
and
it showed
in his eyes.

I want
ed
to follow him
,
but
the
lo
ok that I saw in his eyes haunted
me as I watch
ed
his back fade into the woods. I did
n’t know what he wanted from me
—
to follow him
,
or to forget what I had seen.

Mara’s hand was on my back,
“We should go inside
and
watch whatever lame as
s
movie Amy chose.”

I
looked over my shoulder at her,
“You get it right?”

She nodded her head,
“I think Rob’s going after him.”

I looked over my shoulder to
see Rob jogging into the woods,
“It won’t do him any good. He might get flattened out too.”

“I do
ubt that
,
” she winked,
“Movie?”

We went inside
and
unfortunately the only seats left were
the
two next to Amy.  Mara quickly took the one at the end of the couch
and
patted the space between her
and
Amy. I narrowed my eyes at her
and
she smirked.

“What did Charlie
do
that upset
Hunter? Y
ou said that that had ha
ppened before,” I asked
Amy
, who was twirling her hair around her finger with a not amused look on her face.

Amy
shook her head,
“Nothing upsets Hunter. He just has to keep them in line, being the general
and
all. You should know that by now.”

What I
did know was
that a lot of things upset Hunt
er, and I had just let him walk away from me. I knew that I should have followed him, but there was nothing I could do about it now. There was no way I could find him in the darkness of the night, and the guilt that was building up inside me was almost unbearable.

“I’m going to go on up to bed,
” I said
,
standing.

T
he look in Mara’s eyes told me
she wanted to say something
,
but
could
n’t with them watching.
No one
else even looked up
when
I
left
because
,
frankly
,
they were
probably sick of me anyways. I was already the ice queen to them
,
and
they were all ice to me.
Eventually I fe
ll asleep as I stared up
at the ceiling cursing myself. At some point in the night I woke up to find Hunter sitting at the end of the bed with his head in his hands.

“Hey,” I sat up
,
“Where did you go?”

“Did you thi
nk I wanted to do that?” h
e asked
, his voice muffled by
his hands.

“What?”

He turned to look at me
,
but
his face was in the
shadows,
“Do you think I feel nothing? Do you think I wanted to do that? Do you belie
ve that I a
m what they say I am?
”

“No,”
I replied
.

“Then why didn’t you follow me? Why did you just let me walk away?”

“I wanted to
follow you
,
”
I whispered
.

“But you didn’t. I…I” h
e stammered
,
shaking his head.

“What?”
I asked
,
and
all I wanted was for him to be able to say he
had
needed me to.
His eyes m
et mine
and
they said it
. T
hat was
enough,
“I’m sorry I saw it in your face that you hated doing it.”

I reached my hand out
and
pulled him up to lay behind me.

“I needed to know that you didn’t believe
it was some kind of power trip,” Hunter sighed, and his breath moved my hair away from my neck.

I pulled his arm around me
and
tucked myself into his chest.

“Despite your arrogance I know you aren’t one to go on a power trip to hurt someone
—
onl
y to make me feel like an idiot,
”
I teased, kissing his forearm.

“I only do that because I—”

“Yes?”

“I like to tease you,” he sighed again,
“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“This,” h
e explained
,
pulling me closer to him.

~~~

The next morning Hunter woke me up just as the sun was creeping up the horizon.  He didn’t say anything
,
but
smiled at me as he pulled the blanket off the love seat
. He
led me outside
and
down the steps to the hanging chair on the lower porch.
He wrapped the blanket
and
his arms around me as we sat down.

I looked over my shoulder
when I heard
the rest of the tribe beginning to stir as the sun began to paint the sky.

“What wi
ll they think?” I asked
,
resting my head on his shoulder.

He put his chin o
n top of my head,
“Let them think what they will—it will never change what’s really going on.”

I snuggled in closer to him, and I could feel his lips gently kiss the top of my hair.
I knew i
t was more than just the training that they would dis
approve of
. I only could wond
er in content what it all meant when nothing seemed to matter.

“So,” Mara walked
into the laundry room
and
jumped
onto
the washer as I folded clothes,
“I saw you two on the porch.”

“And?” I retorted
,
kicking the door shut behind me.

“It was nice. You guy
s looked very content,” s
he commented
,
grabbing one of my shirts from the bin
and
folding it.

“D
id everyone else see it?” I asked
as I tried
not to look like my stomach was feeling.

“Obviously you guys didn
’t care if anyone saw?” s
he observed
,
taking the towel from me
and
folding it in her lap.

“
We all
do stupid th
ings in the heat of the moment,” I explained as I looked up at the ceiling. It just wasn’t like Hunter to do something without thinking. I wondered if I was impairing his judgment and what that could mean.

“I told everyone I was making a big breakfast in the kitchen. I involved everyone—I can be quite the bossy
bitch when I want to be, so no one noticed you two on the porch,
” Mara
  shrugged, “
You’re welcome.”

“I still don’t get why you’re helping me
,
or
why Rob is helping Hunter,” I replied,
searching her face for any sort of clue.
It was nice to feel that someone was on our side, even if we didn’t know why.

“Don’t get too excited. We aren’t doing anything
that we don’t feel
benefit
s
us—befriending the leaders always helps the peo
ns,” She explained
,
and
I wasn’t sure if it was because I wanted it to mean something else
,
or
if it
did
,
but
her eyes seemed softer tha
n her words.

“So di
d Rob get flattened out?” I asked
as I picked
up another towel to resume folding.

“Not at all, as far as I k
now they didn’t talk
,
but
talking is more
of
a girl thing. Rob told
m
e that Hunter gave him
a personalized training session, which was quite useful. It’s hard for anyone to get as good as Hunter becau
se he’s so guarded with why he’
s so talented,
”
Mara explained.

“W
ell, good for Rob, someday we’
ll
all need a bit of his training,” I responded,
picking up the last pair of jeans
and
folding it.

“You think there’
s som
ething coming for us?” Mara asked with
her tone of voice changing to worry.

I locked eyes with her praying t
hey said something else, “No.
”

“Of course not,” she said as she nodded her head.

There was a knock at the door
and
Rob
peeked
his head i
n,
“Hunter let us off for lunch
—
I swear you’re a miracle worker Kate.”

“I’m su
re it had nothing to do with me,
”
I responded
, but I was still looking at Mara.

Rob looked betwee
n the two of us
. Mara’s eyes were still on me
and
mine darted down to the towel in my hand. She had understood what I had said.

“Did I in
terrupt a girlie talk?” Rob
asked
,
his brow furrowing.

“Not at all,” I picked
up the basket of laundry, “Just gossiping a bit.”

Rob didn’t look convinced as I pushed past him out the door.