In Between Seasons (The Fall) (17 page)

When I
a
woke the next morning I was still curled in ball
,
and
I had to pry my eyes open because they felt as though they had been glued shut. When I opened them Hunter was coming out of the bathroom. Our
eyes met
and
his jaw went taut
as he swallowed. His lips began to move to speak
,
but
instead he shook his head
and
went to the door. I heard the potted plant get kic
ked off the stairs as he swore
,
and
I closed my eyes again.
At some point I knew he would have to come back
,
and
I didn’t think I could bear to see him
,
so I managed to pull myself out of the bed
and
dress myself.
I knew I loo
ked as bad as I felt
,
but
at that
moment I didn
’t care what anyone thought. W
hen
I strode through the common
room
with
my hair in a messy bun
and
my face tear
stained I didn’
t look to see who stared
and
just kept walking. I grabbed a few things from the kitchen
and
walked back through.
I could feel their eyes eating
into me as I walked by
and
out the door to the hallway leading to the library.
Once I was safe in my book haven
I locked the door
and
pulled the shades of the window shut. Dust billowed into the
air from years of not
having any one close them
,
and
I sneezed
making
my whole body hurt.
It felt like I wasn’t only coming unglued emotionally
,
but
physically too
. One stupid kiss
. One haunting touch
and
I was done for.
I was stupid for loving him so much.
I curled up on the chaise
,
pulling the blanket up over my head.
I fell asleep without eating anything
I had taken from the kitchen and only
woke briefly when I heard the men causing a raucous
in the common
room after a
day of training
,
but
I
put my itouch
on to block out the noise. I didn’t want to hear anyone
being
happy.

The next day when I woke I paced the room counting how many books each shelf contained
, but
I wasn’t willing
to open one up
and
read it.
I was torturing myself inside my head as I thought of the way he had k
issed me. At the time
I had been convinced with each gentle touch he was telling me
that
he loved me
,
but
the way it ended said anything
but
that.
I closed my eyes
,
sinking to the floor as I
tried to calm the goose bumps that were creeping into my skin when a knoc
k made me jump.

“Kate?” Mara called
.

“What?”
I snapped, but it was less fierce than I had wanted it to be
.

“Let me in
?” s
he pleaded
, jiggling the door knob,
“Please?”

“
No thanks.”

“Come on
, you probably have
to
pee by now,
” Mara huffed
,
“a
nd you could probably use a shower.”

“It h
asn’t been that long,
” I retorted
,
standing
and
going to the door.

“You might not think so
,
but
it’s been three days. Hunter looks like he’s going insane. Last night he paced in front of this door
for four hours,” Mara explained,
jiggling the lock
again
.

“Really?” I
asked
,
opening the door.

She nodded her head,
“Come on
, the men are all out training
. Y
ou can come in my room to shower.”

“Are you sure?”
I confirmed
.

“Yeah, I’ll go grab
you some clothes from the store,” s
he said
,
taking my hand
and
leading
me to the very end of the hall
way
and
down a set of stairs,
“You look like hell.”

“Thanks,”

“Want to talk about it?
” s
h
e asked
as she closed
the door to her
and
Rob’s
bedroom
and
locked
it.

“Not particularly,
”
I replied
.

“What happened after you guys kissed? I mean I know you liked it…so how did
it end up like this?” Mara asked
,
looking me up
and
down with a frown on her face.

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t,
”
s
he responded
with a sigh.

I shook my head
,
runnin
g my hands threw my greasy hair,
“You said I could shower?”

“The
bathroom is right through there,” s
h
e pointed
to an open door,
“Take your time.”

It was nice to shower
,
and
I had to admit I really did need to pee. When I got out of the shower my stomach was grumbling
and
my mouth was parched. I suddenly realized how hungry, thirsty
,
and
weak I felt now that all the emotion seemed to have been drawn out of me.

“Hey,” I said
,
coming out of
the bathroom wrapped in a towel,
“I think the clothes I was wearing should be burned.”

Mara turned laughing, “There is
some clothes right there
and
some food
and
water.”

“I really appreciate this,
” I said as my stomach growled again.

“Don’t
mention it…to anyone,” Mara remarked,
her face sad.

“I…I won’t,” I stuttered
,
taking the clothes to the bathroom
and
dressing slowly,
“I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”

“I figured,” Mara replied as she
moved
over on the bed
,
so I could sit next to her.

I took a long drag from the bottle of water
and
then took a big bite of the sandwich she had made me.

“
So Hunter paced outside my door
four hours last night?
I didn’t even hear him,
”
I asked
.

“He was swearing an awful lot to himself
,
but
everyone has been too scared to get
within two feet of him,” Mara
shrug
ged
,
“When he gets like that everyone stays away from him.”

“So he’
s been like that before?” I asked as my stomach dropped
.

“
Don’t worry it hasn’t ever been
bec
ause of a girlfriend
. Usually it’s because his d
ad i
s coming,” Mara explained,
squeezing my arm.

“Has he
had girlfriends before?” I asked as I ate
the last bite of sandwich even though I felt like now I might puke depending on what her answer was.

“I wouldn’t call them girlfriends
…I’m sure you’ve had a boyfriend or two though?”
Mara skirted around the question
.

“Not really…so he’s never
had a girl here before?” I
asked
as my stomach calmed.

She looked at me torn,
“You’re not going to want to hear this…He has had girls here before
—just two…but to be honest with you I think they were more umm…sex buddies?”

I swallowed,
“Right.
”

“
He’s never looked at anyone the way he looks at you. He respects you
Kate
,
and
I don’t think he’d ever do anything that he thought would hurt you on purpose. I think that’s why he’s been
so
upset…he knows he hurt you
and
doesn’t know what to do or say…Kate, seriously what happened?”
Mara asked
.

“It’s not
what happened…it’s what didn’t,
”
I tried to explain as I put
my head in my hands.

Mara rubbed my back,
“
He’s u
pset
Kate—so it
hurt him just like it hurt you—
whatever it is.”

“I don’t know Mara. I feel like I’v
e been an idiot,
” I
sigh
ed
.

“
You can’t hide from him forever,
”
M
ara cocked
her head at me,
“
a
nd it’s not fair to him if you do.”

“Has Hunter been hard on the guys the past couple of days?”

“Eh, Rob said he just hasn’t been saying much…no one is really brave enough to do mock hand to hand combat with him
when he’s like that
…except for Rob—he likes the ch
alle
n
ge,
” Mara explained
with a proud smile.

“He’s really vicious when he’s upset?”

“
Hell
, yes. Twice as hard to beat;
I imagine it’s what he’s really like when he’s fighting a real enemy. I’d like to see that…that’s for sure.”

“It’s pretty awesome—
he took on
four
huge guys
and
killed all of them,
” I said
,
feeling too comfortable with her.

“I’m sure he’d take on fifty to protect you…Did
you really run away?” Mara pried
,
her eyes watching me intently.

I didn’t trust her enough to sa
y anything other than the truth,
“Yeah,”

“Why?”

“My family was a bunch of liars
,
and
I was
sick
of it. My whole life was a lie,
”
I explaine
d.

“I’m surprised they haven’t
gone looking for you,
” Mara observed
,
her eyebrows furrowed.

“I asked too many questions.
They
were glad to be rid of me
. I’m pretty sure if I hadn’t run aw
ay
th
ey would have killed me anyways,” I explained
with a shrug.

Mara’s face was far more comp
osed than I would have expected,
“I guess it’s a good thing you’re a POW then.”

“Better alive than dead,” was my response.

“It’s getting late,” Mara stood
, “The men will be getting in soon. You should go talk to Hunter.”

“I guess you’re right I can’t hide
forever
,
but
at least I smell better.”

“Thank G
od,” Mara smirked
,
“Be careful
. I
t’s snowed the last couple of days
and
the steps are really icy.”