In Good Hands (20 page)

“W
HY WOULD YOU PUT
a sensitive piece of equipment in a dildo? And think that you could get accurate readings?”

Roger pulled a serious face. She knew it was just a fake face though, because his eyes were dancing with suppressed laughter. “Sam said the same thing. He suggested we add nipple sensors, too—”

“You are kidding me—”

“But I said that was just overkill.”

“Boys and their toys,” she said. “You are insane. Certifiable. Absolut—” She gasped as he started to insert it inside her. It wasn't difficult. After all, he was still standing in the V of her legs and she was still cuffed to his desk. Plus, she'd been more than ready for something to go there for a little while now. But a dildo?

He tapped a key on his computer and the thing began to turn ice cold.

“Oh, my God!” she gasped as she tried to straighten off the desk.

“Oh, hell. Wrong key. Sorry.” He hit another and the temperature shifted again, warming to a lovely soft heat. “Better?”

She didn't know how to answer. She couldn't believe that
she was sitting here like this. That he had…and she had allowed…and… It was vibrating. A low soft pulse of power that felt wonderful.

“Um…” she said, licking her lips.

Then he shifted, sliding his other hand back between her thighs. He pushed it deeper into her with steady, relentless pressure. She didn't think she'd be able to accommodate it all, but then his other fingers began their magic. He began to caress her, his thumb rolling up and over her clit.

Before long, she felt her body beginning to flex, her back arching, her legs tightening around his. He didn't move, but his fingers still did. Up and around her clit. A long circle. A slow push. God, he knew just what she liked. And when he bent his head to suckle on her nipple, she didn't care that she was spread-eagled on his desk. She just wanted more. Right then.

An electronic chime sounded, and Roger straightened. Her nipple turned cold from the wetness, but he didn't look like he was returning to it any time soon. Even his manipulations between her thighs stopped. He didn't pull his hand away, but he stopped moving as he looked at the screen.

“All set,” he said calmly.

She blinked. She was anything but calm right then, and he knew it.

“Okay, look at the screen. See how the graph is bobbing right there in the happy green zone. That's for truth. For relaxed and happy.”

“But I'm not relaxed,” she said. She was aroused. She was nearly orgasmic. She was definitely not relaxed.

“Right, right. I misstated. This is the preorgasmic state. I call that relaxed and happy. This, on the other hand, is the unhappy state.”

He abandoned her to hit a key, and just like that, the dildo
changed temperature. It went from warm and pulsing to still and freezing cold in two breaths.

“Oh!” she cried. “Oh, my God, stop it!”

The machine let out a heavy clunking sound.

“Unhappy,” he said as he hit the key again. The cold eased off, but it didn't heat and it certainly didn't begin pulsing again.

“And this is neutral,” he said. On the screen, the line indicator sat near the middle.

“And this is a lie detector how?”

“The computer has read the extremes of your state.”

“Not the full extreme,” she groused. After all, she hadn't orgasmed yet, and frustration was kicking in.

He grinned. “Well, not all, but close enough. So now we go back to our game.”

“I am really getting tired of this game.”

“Really?” he said, his expression teasing. “And here I thought you were starting to get into it.”

She grimaced at him. “What's your question?”

He leaned forward, his lips almost to hers. She didn't move, didn't reach forward to kiss him because she didn't want to give in so easily. So she just stayed absolutely still while he asked his question.

“Do you believe that deep down, our core values are a lot closer than you thought?”

“You mean national health care or privatized? Capitol punishment or lifetime incarceration? Bert or Ernie?”

His eyes narrowed. He knew she was purposely being difficult.

“You have to make your questions specific for the results to have any validity.”

He looked her over slowly, his gaze sliding from the top of her head down to her spread legs, then back up. “You're
stretched out in the hottest position I've ever seen, and you have the nerve to question my questions?”

She lifted her chin, secretly thrilled that he thought she looked hot like this. Oddly enough, it was working for her, too. “The one has nothing to do with the other.”

He grunted. “Tell that to my dick.”

“Get your dick as close to me as your dildo and I will.”

He snorted, but she felt the tremor in his hands. After all, they were pressed rather intimately against her.

“Very well,” he said. “Specifically, do you believe that you and I are close enough in our core energetic versus scientific opinions that we can still have a loving and happy relationship?”

“Yes,” she said honestly. Because, yes, hadn't they just established that not more than fifteen minutes ago?

Chime.

He smiled beatifically at her and they both looked at the monitor. The line was bobbing in the happy zone.

“Truth. Okay, next question.”

“Nope. I answered truthfully. So you owe me a forfeit. Get your pants off now.”

He blinked. Obviously, he'd forgotten their earlier game. But she could see he was willing. If the tent in his pants was any indication, he was beyond willing. A minute later, he stood before her in only his silk boxers, and the electronic indicator bobbed a little higher into the happy zone.

“Next question,” he said. “Will you marry me?”

She stiffened, her mind screeching to a halt. This was not how a girl wanted to be proposed to. And it certainly wasn't what she'd expected while in the middle of their game.

Clunk.

Roger turned his head to the monitor as the line indicator dropped into the distinctly unhappy zone. “I'll take that as a no.”

“Roger—”

He shook his head. “No, I understand. And for the record, when I really do propose, it's going to be a lot more romantic than this.”

She sighed. “Roger—”

“I just wanted you to see how much you stiffen up when you're afraid.”

“I'm not afraid!” she said hotly.

He jerked his chin toward the monitor. “The clunk disagrees with you. You are afraid. You are stiff and upset—”

“This is so not fair!” she cried as she purposely turned her head away from the computer. “Marriage is serious, Roger. It's not for discussion during sex games!”

“Not usually,” he said softly. “But you're not a usual girl, are you? So answer this, Amber…”

His voice trailed away while she waited for the question. And when it didn't come, she turned back to face him. Apparently that was what he needed because he finally spoke.

“Do you love me?”

Oh, God, he looked like a lost puppy dog. There was so much uncertainty in his voice that her insides just melted. And one look at his face told her that he was very afraid of her answer. Silly man. She'd realized she was in love a while ago. She just hadn't wanted to say the words aloud, even in her own mind—but she did.

“Roger,” she admonished softly, “do you honestly think I'd be in this position with a man I didn't love?”

Chime.

His eyes lit and his whole body jerked forward. She went for him as well, meaning to wrap her arms around him and do what she'd been aching to all evening. But she was still handcuffed, and her arms were pulled up short by the cold metal.

“Damn it, Roger. Get these things off me.”

He shook his head. “Not yet. Not when it's working.” As proof, he gestured to the computer where it did indeed read happy. Well, up until the dip when the cuffs jerked her movements short.

“You don't need a lie detector to know that I'm serious when I tell you I love you.”

“Really?” he said, an honest question in his voice. “How long have you known? You haven't said anything before now. When did you first realize you loved me?”

She bit her lip. She didn't want to answer that one because he already knew the answer.

“Amber?”

Clunk.

“Amber? Please. The truth.”

“In Arizona,” she said quietly. “I started thinking the word back then.”

“About the time you decided we didn't suit at a core level. About the same time you started thinking you had to break up with me. Am I right, Amber?”

She couldn't look at him. And she damn well wasn't going to look at the computer which was about to clunk in loud, obnoxious tones. And she couldn't respond. Not now. Not when he'd just ripped open a wall into her to reveal the truth.

It was true. She was afraid.

Chime.

She opened her eyes and spun to look at the monitor. It couldn't possibly be indicating that she was happy. She was as far from happy as she could get.

“What were you thinking just then, Amber?” Roger asked, his voice tight with emotion. “Whatever it was, it was true. This just indicates when you're relaxed enough to be honest.”

Rather than speak, she shook her head, her eyes shutting tight with tears.

“Oh, shit, don't cry,” he gasped. “Shit, I've done this all wrong.”

She gasped in surprise as the dildo was removed. A moment later, he was fumbling at her wrists. One cuff, then the other, clicked open and her arms were free. Then his hands were on her face, his thumbs wiping away her tears as he pressed tiny kisses to her chin, her cheek and finally her lips.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” he kept saying between kisses. “I thought if I got you horny, I could get to the truth.” He pulled back to look in her eyes. “You know, mix a little science with a sex toy, and
bam,
you're playing. You're relaxed. I thought I could get you to admit the truth. I'm so sorry.”

She pressed her fingers to his lips, cutting off his words. She had to say the truth. He deserved to know.

“You're right, Roger. I am afraid. I don't know why. It's not like I've had some big relationship trauma.”

His lips curved beneath her fingers, and he slowly lifted away. “Everyone's afraid, Amber. Relationships are hard. Commitment is ten times harder. It's just you geniuses who completely freak at the idea. I think it's because everything else is so obvious to you. Everything comes easy. Everything, that is, except for the one thing that's damn hard for everyone.”

“Relationships?”

He shook his head. “Love, Amber. I love you. You love me. That's damn scary. I just can't have you running from it.” He took a deep breath. “If you're taking the job at Mandolin because that's what you want, then fine. But don't go running to Arizona because you're afraid of what we have. Of what we could be.”

He was right. God, he was so damn right, she couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before. Fear was natural. And when Amber was afraid, she usually ran. Into her work. Into another
state. Into whatever she could find to bury herself away from the fear.

“I'm not going to run,” she said quietly.

“Good.”

“But…” She bit her lip.

“You're still afraid. I know. So am I. But we'll work it out. We'll get past it together. We're both too stubborn to allow anything else to happen.”

She nodded. He
had
addressed everything she was thinking. God, it was freaky the way he read her mind like that. Of course, that was probably just his intuition kicking in.

“But there's something else. Something I haven't told you yet,” she said.

He stroked his hand along her cheek, and she leaned into his caress. “Yes?” he prompted.

“Your doctor called me.”

He froze. “My doctor? Why?”

“Well, he was very interested in what we'd done. Said he'd never seen such a dramatic shift in blood pressure before.”

Roger frowned. “Yeah, he said stuff like that to me, too.”

“Well, he was very interested. In everything I've been doing.”

It took a moment for Roger to process what she was saying. Was it possible? “Are you saying there might be a job here for you? At a clinic that is open to your ideas?”

She nodded, happiness starting to well up inside her. “We're just talking right now, but yeah, it looks like there could be work for me here. It's not a great job compared to what's available at Mandolin. And the clinic certainly isn't any type of leader in medicine like Mandolin.”

His face started to fall. “Amber, I know how much your job means to you. I know that you want to be at the cutting edge of medicine—”

“And I can be. Here in Chicago. Healing is about one
patient at a time. Your blood pressure. Mary's arthritis. I can do that right here. With you.”

His mouth was open in surprise, which quickly shifted to wariness. “Amber, are you sure? I mean, Mandolin is a lot to give up.”

She shook her head, growing more confident with the notion. “You're worth it. I just didn't see it before because I was too afraid.” Then she grinned as she trailed her hands down his chest and to the top of his shorts. “Okay, psychic. Tell me what I'm thinking?”

“Uhh,” he stammered. “I never said I was psychic.”

“Oh, right. Intuition. Okay, I'll tell you. I answered the last question honestly.”

His body had tightened, and his hands started sliding from her face, caressing downward over her shoulders. “Yes, you did.”

“So you owe me an item of clothing.”

“I've only got one left.” His boxers.

“Roger,” she whispered as she pushed down his shorts. “I've got a confession.”