In My Veins (12 page)

Was he having a nightmare?

I rushed to his side to wake him up and see
what was wrong so I could help put him out of his agony.

I pushed him on his back and he looked
like he was being tortured. He mumbled something in his sleep and his eyes
shot open and stared into mine.

But his eyes weren’t the same.

They weren’t the beautiful shade of blue
color I was used to. They were red. Blood red. “Oh my God.” I said out loud at
the realization. I always had a feeling in my heart that he was the monster
that saved me.

James all of a sudden showed his
teeth…sharp pointy fangs. I heard a quiet growl escape his chest. I went back
a little. He sat up, still keeping his eyes on me, and growled even louder. I
felt like a mouse being prayed on by a lion.

Freaking
out I went back as fast and as far as possible but I ended up trapping myself
in the corner of the room.

“Ja…James? Baby…snap out of it.” I tried
to say but was barely able to get my voice out. He stopped growling and stared
at me. I felt like my heart was going to come out of my chest. It was beating
so fast it hurt.

“Are…you okay?” he asked.

He got a little closer and I tried to
get further but there was no where I could go. I wanted to scream for help as
stupid as it was, I wanted help from him.

I could see the despair in his face and
I felt so guilty that I was reacting this way. But my body was scared. My brain
was telling me to run. But my heart was breaking that I wanted to.

He stayed where he was and studied me, “Baby…please
talk to me. Are you okay? I... I smell your blood. Are you hurt?” he asked. I
wasn’t sure how I felt about the fact that he could smell
my
blood.  I
instinctively put my fingers in a fist trying to hide the blood.

“Ye…yeah. I was trying to close the
window after opening it. It needs oil or something… it’s hard to budge.” I said
with a shaky voice.

He looked down and squeezed his eyes
shut. I found myself migrating towards him slowly once the eye contact was
over. My fear was slowly subsiding and I wanted to be comforted by him as well
as comfort him myself. By the James I have learned to love and the one that he
calls a monster.

He looked back at me and his eyes
drifted to my hands. We were both still on the floor as I crawled towards him
slowly. His eyes met with mine again and they were still red. I couldn’t
believe I was so stupid before for not knowing for sure that he was the monster
that saved me. I saw the resemblance before but assumed it was the lack of
sleep and fear that I made the comparison. Or maybe I just didn’t want to admit
it to myself.

The closer I got to him, the faster my
heart raced. But I still went forward. I eyed the door. It was my exit. I
looked back at him and he looked hurt. He closed his eyes as if he was
preparing himself for the worst. I wasn’t sure what he was scared of. He was
the one with the ability to bite and suck my blood out dry. I mentally slapped
myself for even thinking he would do that and continued to walk to him.

He looked surprised when he opened his
eyes again and I was in front of him. I brought a shaky hand up and touched his
longer hair. It was messy. He was trying to read my face, I could tell. But I
worked hard to not show how I was feeling. Mainly because I wasn’t sure how I
was feeling either. At least I knew now for sure that he couldn’t read minds.

As I ran my fingers through his hair I
smiled. Even though it was messy and longer than he normally had it, it was
still James. I brought my fingers to his face and started tracing the outline
of his face. I cupped his cheek with one hand, the hand with no blood. I didn’t
want the blood close to him; I kept it as far as possible.

Not that it made a difference sense he
got the scent of it while I wasn’t even close to him earlier.

I stared at him as my hand rested on his
cheek. “You’re the one who saved me...” I practically whispered since my voice
decided to stop working. I suddenly had the urge to lock my arms around him and
hug him from the guilt of being scared of him earlier. “I’m so sorry I got
scared…it was the shock.” I said crying into his shoulder. He hesitated for a
moment but finally hugged me as my tears became uncontrollable.

“Why are you crying?”

“I feel bad that I got scared.” I cried
some more. I knew I was being ridiculous, I was never much of a crier but I
felt so bad.

He rubbed my back trying to calm me down
as I sobbed on his shoulder. My heart was still racing and it was starting to
hurt from being so afraid the past few weeks but I wasn’t afraid anymore.

“Are…you still scared?” He wavered. I
wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know the answer or not. I wasn’t sure what I
wanted to say.

I pulled away from him reluctantly and
took uneven breaths trying to calm my crying down so I could talk. I shook my
head, “No. Not at all. You saved my life James. Not once but twice. And you’ve
protected me.”

He forced himself to smile but I could
tell he thought I wanted to run. I’d be lying if I said the thought didn’t
cross my mind. He brought his hand out to caress my cheek like I had done his. 
He was testing me and taking baby steps for himself too.

I pressed my cheek into his hand more
and brought my hands to his shoulders. I pulled him closer and pressed my lips
to his. He was wide eyed as I pulled away making me kiss him again to prove I
wasn’t afraid anymore. Fangs and red eyes or not, I couldn’t resist him.

I led him back to the bed and forced him
to lay next to me even though he was hesitating. “I don’t trust myself.”

“I trust you.” I replied.

We were quiet for a moment that felt
like hours. “So…now you see why I call myself a monster?” He said sadly as I
sat with my back resting against his chest. He was built before, but after his ‘change’
he was even more muscular. His arms made my waist look tiny as they rested
around them.

I shook my head and got out of the
comfortable embrace to look at him. “Not at all. I think you’re beautiful.”

He looked confused and chuckled in
disbelief, “Beautiful? There’s nothing beautiful about these.” He said pointing
at my fangs.

“I don’t know… I think they’re kind of
cute.” I winked, “But seriously…I love you James. I didn’t say I loved you just
to say it, I meant it. Whether it is in everyday James version or…
vampire
James version.” I said as I played with his hands in my hands, “It actually
explains why I was so comfortable around you when you saved me from the other
thing. I didn’t know it was you but I felt that you wouldn’t hurt me. I wasn’t
scared of you when the thing attacked me.”

“You still… love me?”

I smiled, “Of course. I love you more
actually because I know more about you. There is more of you to love now.”

He shook his head, “Baby, something’s
wrong with you if you still like me after this. I feel like you’re going to run
away the minute we get back home.”

“I think…if you were like a hairy
werewolf or something I’d consider breaking up with you though.  I’m not
into hairy guys.” I made a disgusted face.

“You’d be the beauty and I’d be the
beast.” He laughed, “But it’s a relief that I’m only a werewolf on full moons.”

“What?!”

“Kidding, baby. I’m always like this...”
He laughed but stopped into a forced smile.

We both couldn’t sleep anymore. We
stayed in our position against the headboard for the remainder of the night.
Our limbs were tangled with each other. He didn’t let go of me, I think he was
scared I’d run away the minute he let go. A part of me did still want to… it
would almost be crazy if I didn’t. It was the fight or flight instinct that
everyone had. But I added another category that had me wanting to hug him.
Fight flight or cuddle. I choose cuddle. I smiled at the thought and nestled
against his hard chest anyway.

This was all too surreal.

I noticed his breathing had evened out
so I slowly turned to look at him to see if he was asleep or not. He was wide
awake. His eyes met with mine and I realized they were back to the baby blues I
loved. “You’re back.” I said simply.

He looked confused for a moment and looked
at his arms, “It took longer than usual…” he frowned.

“How so?”

“Usually, if I focus I’m able to bring
myself back to normal…”

“Did you try?”

“The minute I realized what I was about
to do to you I tried, baby. Trust me.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Why didn’t it
work this time?”

“Not sure. If anything… it should have…”
he thought to himself for a moment then smiled at me, “I’m sure it’s nothing.”
 

“Hey…so you said it’s the men in your
family?” I asked.

“Yeah…”

“So…is Chris?”

“No, Chris is from my mom’s side. It
only happens to the men in my dad’s side of the family. Carmichael men.”

“So… is David?”

“Yes… David is.”

I cringed at the thought of David as a
‘monster’, “He hates me…is that why you told me to stay away from him?”

“I told you to stay away from him just
in case. But I don’t think he would do anything to you… I did at first. But… I
talked to him and he gave me his word. He’s just had bad luck finding someone. He’s
bitter when loves involved. He’ll ease up once he sees you’re okay with me.”

I could hear even his disbelief as he
said that. Not sure if he didn’t believe David would ease up on me or if I am
okay with him. “What about your sisters? If they have kids will they be cursed?”

“Their sons will be cursed, yeah.”

“Oh…”
So weird…
“Whatever
happened to the grandfather that was turned first?”

He sighed, “He stayed a monster forever.
He truly loved the gypsy woman and not his arranged wife. By the time he did
love his arranged wife though, it was too late… It had already past his
fifteenth year. His was when he was thirty.”

“So once it’s past the fifteenth year …”

“It’s permanent”

“Oh…”
How sad…
“Well… what do we
have to do for you?”

“I’m not sure…I thought I would just
stop being a monster once you said you loved me despite the curse…but it almost
felt like the opposite. Like I was almost trapped as a monster a second ago.”

I felt worried for him. I took his hand
trying to comfort him. I hoped I could be able to help him somehow, “Maybe it
just takes some time?”

“Maybe.”

*
*
*

James had his eyes on me the entire time
after the change. He was embarrassed. He wanted to be away from me but at the
same time he wanted to be close because he was positive I would run away the
first chance I had. But I didn’t. And I didn’t plan to.

If anything I tried to be closer to him
to prove it. I held his hand as we went hiking in the snow trail and giggled
when he accidently caught a fish with his bare hands when we went fishing.
Luckily Tiffany didn’t notice. I put my finger on my lips telling him to not
say anything till I turned to Daniel and Tiffany’s fishing team and yelled, “We
caught one already! You two lose.”

The deal was that the loser had to cook
and I didn’t feel like cooking. As Daniel and Tiffany were preparing our last meal
at the camp, James and I cuddled on the long logs we were using as seats by the
campfire.

“Want to go for a walk?” he asked.

“Hmm…” I thought, “My legs are going to
kill me from hiking earlier and walking again.”

“I’ll carry you to the car tomorrow.” He
said burying his nose in the crook of my neck and pressing his lips to my
sensitive skin.

“Okay let’s go.”

If he was testing me to see if I was
scared. I failed miserably. At every little sound I jumped into his arms, “Did
you hear that?” I whispered after hearing a crackle in the trees.

“No.” he laughed, “I didn’t hear any
animals. It was the wind.”

“Oh…” I said pulling myself off his arm
and walking beside him again. I squealed and grabbed him around his waist again
after I heard another crackle, “I know I heard something now!”

He laughed, “I think it’s either your
imagination or you’re making it up to hold onto me.”

I pulled back to glare at him. “Jerk.” I
mumbled but couldn’t fight off the smile.

He had his eyes on me as we walked side
by side. I’d still occasionally jump but I tried not to show I was scared. I
looked up at branches above us, prepared to run if I saw a spider hanging by
its web to jump on us. My entire body felt itchy at the thought.

James cleared his throat and pulled me
closer to him to get my attention, “So…tell me…Why did you want to open the window
last night?”

 “Um…fresh air? I got hot.” I said
feeling my ears get hot at the memory.

“Hot? It was freezing last night.”

He smirked, “Karina? Tell me…” he asked
trying to get it out of me.

“Nothing. I was just… I couldn’t sleep.
So I was looking at you and you moved and it scared me because I thought I woke
you up and then it got hot so I just wanted to get some fresh air. And that’s
when the stupid window was stuck and…” I cringed, “And you know.”

“So… you watch me while I sleep?” he
teased.

“James…” I glared at him and started
walking ahead of him as he continued laughing. I loved hearing him laugh and
act carefree but I wasn’t going to let him know that while he was teasing me.

“Okay okay. I’m sorry I won’t tease you
anymore.” he said running after me and grabbing me by my waist.

We made it back in time. The fish was
done and we had to put out the fire. We munched on the food and the couscous
salad Tiffany and I had made ahead of time. James and Daniel made fun of us for
making a salad for roughing it up but they liked it. James was more at ease
once he realized I wasn’t running away. That I actually felt safer knowing he
was the one who saved me from the creepy one. I was happy that he finally
opened up to me. Granted he didn’t have a choice at that moment… but still.