In Search of Lucy (10 page)

Benito Enrique Garcia grew up with five brothers. He was number four, and he’d always hoped for a sister. Benny reflected on that wish and came to the conclusion that he must have been
muy loco
. After loading what he thought was the last of the suitcases, bags, pillows, et cetera, into his Dodge Durango, he suddenly spotted Anne walking up with a small piece of luggage. Her long hair was wrapped into a bun at the back of her head, and she wore beige knee-length shorts with a light blue strappy top. The weather was getting warmer each day. Texas would be even hotter, so Anne was prepared with lots of cute, summery outfits.

“Ah, c’mon, you’re killing me, girl!”

Anne shrugged and gave a closed-mouth grin. “I promise this is it.” She handed Benny the bag and walked back toward the stairs to the apartment, leaving Benny mumbling to himself and trying to rearrange the load that was already too much.

“I got like one bag here. What else do you girls need besides some underwear, T-shirts, and jeans?” In fact, that was Benny’s uniform. Hot or cold, it didn’t matter. He set the bag in the back on top of a black vinyl suitcase. When he turned and saw that Anne was already on her way back up the stairs, he yelled, “No problem, I got this!” He closed the back and continued to talk to himself. “I guess I’m not just the chauffer, but the butler too. I wonder what else these little
niñas mimadas
will get me to do.” Deep down he wasn’t really mad, though he figured it wouldn’t be the last time he would call them
spoiled brats
. But he was actually looking forward to spending some time getting to know these girls and visiting with the cousins he rarely got to see. Benny also felt proud. He was going to take care of Lucy and Anne. He hadn’t had a chance for his own family yet, so having this experience really meant something to him.

With the car ready and a schedule to keep, Benny headed back up to Lucy’s to get the girls. It was just about noon, and the three had agreed to grab some lunch on the way out. Luckily everyone was in the mood for Mexican. Benny was always in the mood for Mexican, and his favorite stop-in place was just down the road. “Where’s Anne?” He threw his hands in the air. “We gotta get a move on, chiquitas!”

“She was crying,” Lucy answered. “She went back to her aunt’s.”

“She’s still going, right?”

“I guess so.” Lucy looked around the room, as if surveying the room and its contents. Her black leggings stretched to just below her knees and were covered by a long, but tight-fitting green shirt.

Benny sensed her uneasiness and walked over to her. He put an arm around her shoulder and gave one big squeeze. “What about you, Lucita? You gonna be okay?”

“Of course. Just making sure I took care of everything.”

“So you’re feeling alright with this, and you got everything you need?”

Benny knew Lucy had mixed feelings, but she didn’t acknowledge the question. Maybe because she didn’t know how she felt. The whole thing was just crazy to begin with. And now she’d agreed to let these two, whom she was just getting to know, join her on this peculiar mission. She released herself from Benny’s grasp, picked up her purse from the couch, and walked toward the door. “Let’s get Anne so we can go.”

They both walked outside and paused for a moment for Lucy to lock her door. They could see down the hall, Anne in the doorway hugging Mrs. Allen. “Will you go already,” Mrs. Allen chirped. “You’re just being silly now. I’m going to be fine.” Mrs. Allen craned her neck to see past Anne. “Will you two please tell her that I’m not an invalid?” Her white splotchy ankles peeked from beneath her faded blue housecoat.

Lucy and Benny walked down to Mrs. Allen’s door. “C’mon, girl, your auntie’s going to be just fine.” Benny put a hand on the back of Anne’s shoulder blades. “You should see what she does when you’re not around. This girl is over here lifting weights and doing push-ups.” Anne giggled, and Lucy smiled and then checked her cell phone for the time. “I saw her through the window,” Benny added.

“Okay, but call me if you need anything,” Anne warned. “I mean it, anything.”

“Right, right,” Mrs. Allen answered, then moved backward into her apartment and started to shut the door. “Goodness, at least I’ll enjoy a bit of peace and quiet. Now you three be careful on the road.” Mrs. Allen was always grateful for the time she had with Anne, but she was even more thankful that Anne was taking some time for herself. Between working at the family shop, going to school, and then helping her out, Anne didn’t seem to have much time for fun. Ever since she started spending time with Lucy and Benny, that had started to change, so this trip seemed like a perfect idea. Mrs. Allen would be fine.

“We will,” both Anne and Benny answered together as all three began walking down the hall to the stairwell.

Worrying about who sat where was not a problem. Lucy offered to sit in the back. This way she could avoid small talk, bury herself in her music, or use her new laptop. Not that she would already be e-mailing Kyle, but she could find something to keep her busy. And maybe Kyle was right. It might help her to write in a journal.

Except for the one at work, it had been a while since Lucy used a computer. Two nights before she had Benny set up the e-mail account and show her how to use it. It was actually quite entertaining for Lucy to watch. When Benny was at a computer, it was like he was a pianist with ADHD. He was always tapping his foot or jiggling his leg, and when he wasn’t typing, he was tapping his index finger somewhere on the keyboard. He said he learned everything from one of his older brothers who had some kind of major computer technology job. Benny could have gone on the same path. He had the talent and the opportunity but not the motivation. Laughing, meeting people, entertaining—that’s what drove Benny. That’s probably what attracted most people to Benny as well, including Lucy.

“Did you hear from
Kevin
yet?” Benny inquired sarcastically.

Lucy closed the laptop and leaned forward. “Will you stop calling him that? You know his name.” She sank back into her seat and stared at the mini Lakers basketball hanging from the rearview mirror. “And just so you know, I wasn’t checking that.”

“Will you leave her alone?” Anne slapped Benny on the arm. “What, are you jealous or something?”

Lucy looked up into the rearview mirror and locked in on Benny looking back at her. She was searching for the answer in his eyes, but he looked away too abruptly. It hadn’t dawned on her before. He
had
been giving her extra attention lately, but she thought it was just his way and that he felt bad for her.
God, this could be really awkward,
she thought to herself, staring out the window. And then she remembered that time in the car, when she had cried on Benny’s shoulder. Things did feel a little…intense between them. She had felt a connection, but there was no way she was going to acknowledge it, especially at that moment.

“No!” Benny reached up and clicked on the stereo. Each of the three had brought their own favorites for the trip and agreed to take turns making selections. “Alright you two, I’m going to pick first,” he said, completely changing the subject. “Let’s start with some Lenny. Here, check this out,” Benny said as he handed Anne the Lenny Kravitz CD.

Anne opened the CD and began examining its contents. “Oh, awesome! This is one with all the words. Now I can sing along too.”

Both Lucy and Benny cringed at the thought, but at the same time, Lucy enjoyed how young and innocent she was. She envied her carefree attitude, especially given the responsibility and maturity she’d shown to her family over the years. This trip meant something different to all three of them. For Anne it was having an adventure. Benny would fulfill his need to be a caretaker and protector. And Lucy, along with saving her sister’s life, hoped to finally unload the baggage that was holding her back from creating a new life—a life of her own.

All three sat staring straight ahead listening to Lenny, while Anne attempted to sing by following the lyrics sheet. None of them said a word through the entire song, lost in the thoughts of what was ahead.

First stop was to be Tucson, Arizona. By the time they got lunch—they ate in the car while Benny drove—it was after one. They wanted to arrive around seven thirty or eight, eat a late dinner, and get a cheap room they could all share. They were making good time, and both girls complimented Benny on his planning and timing of the trip—so far, that is. There was certainly a long way to go.

“What did you girls think? That I was just some joke-telling clown or something?” Benny gave a quick glance over his left shoulder and then switched into the fast lane. “I do have other skills you know.”

“Of course we know, Benny,” Anne reassured. “We knew you’d do a great job, right Lucy?” Anne turned sideways and looked back at Lucy.

“He’s here isn’t he?”

Anne displayed a disapproving look.

“I mean yes…that’s why I wanted you here, Benny.”

“Thanks!” he said in the rearview mirror. He sat up tall so she could see his face.

Small talk was exchanged from time to time, but for the most part, it was strangely quiet. Although the three had spent time together, they were beginning to realize that they didn’t know each other all that well.

Anne searched through the pile of CDs, asking about the ones she hadn’t heard of. Lucy gazed out the window, thoughts drifting, trying to make out the words and names of the rock formations people had spelled out on the side of the one-lane highway. She fought her natural urge to doze off in the car. This was something she’d actually forgotten about herself. There weren’t many occasions where she was the passenger instead of the driver.

Lucy imagined what it was going to be like seeing her sister for the first time in so long. Would they just go to each other and embrace, not needing to say anything? She created a few different scenes in her mind like a movie director, playing each one to see which she preferred. She kind of liked the one where Katie’s eyes fill with tears, and then she runs to Lucy and says, “I’m so sorry for everything. I was so wrong and now you are saving my life. Please forgive me.” Lucy does not say anything of course, she just opens her arms to Katie and holds her tight.

“Yo! Lucita.” Benny’s voice cut right into her daydream.

“What?” she answered, stretching her legs and suddenly feeling uncomfortable in the backseat.

“What do you want to listen to?”

“Yeah, you haven’t picked anything yet,” Anne added.

“You guys can pick, I don’t care right now.” Lucy got the laptop from the seat and opened it.

Anne looked back and saw Lucy holding the computer. “You probably won’t be able to hold a connection on these roads.”

Lucy looked up, confused. “Really, because I thought—”

“Oh yeah, she’ll be online alright.” Benny’s voice was teasing and childish. “Not only did lover boy give her that laptop, he also bought her a mobile broadband card.”

“Reeaally?” Anne perked up and looked intrigued.

“Hey, I don’t know anything about this stuff, but he said it was no big deal.”

Benny hung one wrist over the top of the steering wheel. Casually he added, “Right,” giving Anne a perfunctory nod and a smirk.

“Could we
please
not make a big deal about this?” Lucy pleaded.

“Okay, just tell us one thing,” Anne prodded as Benny listened intently. “Do you like him or what?”

Lucy was quiet, punching keys on the keyboard as if she had not heard what they said. After a moment she looked up and said, “I…think he’s a nice guy…and that’s all I’m going to say about it right now.” She clicked on the e-mail icon Benny had showed her to check if any messages had arrived. “Oh my God…” Her voice trailed off as she stared at what appeared on the screen.

“What is it, Lucy?” Anne leaned over and tried to take a look at the computer, but she couldn’t quite reach.

“I can’t believe it,” Lucy whispered.

“C’mon, Lucita, what is it? Did Kevin send you a love note?”

There was no answer from Lucy. She just stared at the screen, then ran her hands through her hair and down to rest on her shoulders.

“Dirty pictures?”

“It’s not from Kyle. My sister e-mailed me a picture of Carly.”

“I want to see,” said Anne. “Is she cute?”

Lucy spun the keyboard on her lap so Anne could see.

“Ah, she
is
cute,” Anne squealed. “Her hair looks kind of like yours.”

Lucy turned the screen back to face her and said, “She looks…exactly like my sister did at that age.” She turned to look out the window seeming to be only speaking to herself. “It’s so strange how an image, or thought, can just bring you instantly back to a memory. You find yourself feeling the same feelings you felt back then, like they never left. Feelings you thought you’d buried a long time ago.” Realizing she’d shared too much, Lucy turned back to Anne and read pity in her eyes. Benny fiddled with the buttons on the stereo and acted focused on the road as the girls talked. Anne laid her hands on the shoulder of her seat and then rested her chin on top. “You don’t talk about your family much, but it sounds like this is going to be hard for you.”

Lucy grabbed her purse and began aimlessly rummaging through it. “I’ll be fine. Getting my sister well is all I need to think about right now.”

“I know what it’s like to not have family around. It can be really hard…and really lonely.” Anne’s voice was sincere and caring, but she could tell from Lucy’s face that her attempt was not having the desired effect.

“Your
family
,” she said as she closed her purse and looked right into Anne’s eyes, “and your situation are nothing like mine.”

“I’m sure they aren’t, Lucy, but I don’t really know because you never share that stuff with us.” Anne looked over at Benny and caught a glimpse of
be careful
in his expression. “Maybe if you talked about it, you would be able to move on…or at least feel better.”

“You already know the gist of it. The details don’t matter much.”

Finally deciding to jump in, Benny insisted, “Everything about you matters to us, Lucy.”

“That’s so sweet, Benny.” Anne reached over and gave him a little tap on the arm.

“Yeah, for a funny guy, you sure are warm and fuzzy.” Lucy was happy for the segue and hoped the conversation would continue in a lighter direction. She wasn’t in the mood to give her life story. She decided to finish checking her e-mail and see if maybe there was something from Kyle. She felt a quick flutter in the pit of her stomach when she saw another message waiting and recognized that it was from Kyle. She smiled as she double-clicked to open the message.

“I saw that!” Benny accused. He had been glancing back to see if she was okay and noticed the change in her expression when she looked down at the screen. “I knew he wouldn’t be able to wait. I could tell when I met him that day. He’s the type that gets whooped easy.” Benny was laughing when he spoke, which seemed to make Anne nervous about his ability to joke and drive at the same time.

“Keep your eyes on the road, mister,” Anne scolded.

“Yeah, Benny…look who’s talking,
mama’s boy
! I heard you calling her when we stopped for gas.”

“What, she asked me to. Hey, I was just being polite.” His voice became frail and immature. “I didn’t want my mamacita to worry. Who knows what could happen to me alone with you two?”

Anne and Lucy laughed, while Lucy gave Benny a tiny thump on the back of his head. The quiet empty highway started to turn into a busy freeway with signs and buildings dotting the sides of the road—an indicator that the first leg of their journey was about to end. Benny had scoped out two prospective hotels, but he hadn’t made reservations. Neither was close to being full, so they planned to drive by each and see which one looked better.

Lucy diverted her attention back to the e-mail and read:

BTW: Don’t think you can’t give me a call just because we are exchanging e-mails. I won’t either.

Lucy read the e-mail in its entirety one more time and thought about replying, but Benny announced they were already on their way to the first hotel “drive-by.” He was really getting into this new “big brother” role. She didn’t want to be in the middle of typing and have to stop to get out. This would actually give her some time to think about what she wanted to say, and then she could write back later tonight. What else did she have to do anyway? She would be stuck in a hotel room with nothing to do but worry about how many other bodies had touched those same sheets.

Lucy thought it was funny that even in his e-mail, Kyle said her name twice. She still liked that.