In Search of Lucy (14 page)

“Katie?” Lucy was still sound asleep, and her words were barely audible. She mumbled something else, but Benny couldn’t make it out. He had been lying there next to her, waiting for her to wake up. It was still early, about seven a.m., but he couldn’t sleep any longer. Her face had a distressed look on it, and she started to breathe heavily, so he decided to wake her up.

“Lucy,” he said softly, rubbing her arm. “Time to wake up, girl.”

After a few seconds, she began to stir, then awoke startled. She seemed confused and gaped at Benny for an answer.

“You okay?” Benny rested his body on one elbow.

“Yeah…I just…what time is it?” She pushed her body up to a sitting position and glanced at the clock. It looked like Anne was still asleep, but Chad was no longer in the bed. Turning her head to the bathroom door, she could see the light on and heard water running. Surprisingly, she felt relief that he hadn’t taken off.

“How’d you sleep?” Benny asked.

“Fine, how about you?”

“Oh, it was great for me.”

Lucy shot him a look and got to her feet. She walked over to the bed and jabbed it with her knee a few times, shaking Anne’s body.

“I’m awake, Lucy,” Anne said, lifting her head. “I’ve actually just been waiting for everyone to get up.”

“Good,” Lucy replied and sat on the edge of the bed. “We should probably get going as soon as everyone is ready. Don’t you think, Benny?”

“Sounds good.” He got up, gathered the comforter from the floor, and tossed it in the chair. He noticed Anne watching him, and they exchanged smiles. Benny shook his head and tried to avoid a conversation about last night. “There’s a donut shop across the street. You guys want me to go grab some coffee and donuts?”

Lucy nodded, and Anne added, “If they have chocolate chip muffins, will you get me one, please?”

“Sure.” He grabbed his wallet off the table and headed out the door.

Both girls watched and waited for the door to slam.

“What happened last night?” Anne jumped in first, sitting abruptly up in the bed.

“Hey, I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

“Absolutely nothing,” Anne said, defeated. “I know it’s stupid. I mean, I’m probably never going to see him again, but he’s so cute…and sweet too. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, but you’re right. After today, that’s it. Besides, don’t forget how old he is.”

“I know, I know…but what about you and Benny?” Anne’s demeanor suddenly brightened.

“Don’t get so excited…nothing happened with us either.”

“Really?”

“Really. We were just sleeping down there because you two fell asleep in the bed together.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“It’s okay. I actually slept pretty well.”

“Then what’s wrong? You seem like something’s bothering you.”

“I’m fine.” Lucy got up from the bed. She wanted a little more distance. She took the comforter from the chair, tossed it onto the bed, and flopped into the chair.

“You don’t seem fine,” Anne pressured. “Plus, I heard you talking in your sleep. You said ‘Katie’ and something about a painting.”

Lucy stared across the room to nothing in particular. “Do you ever have a dream, and then wake up still feeling the way you did in the dream?”

“Yeah, totally. Once I had a dream that Shia LaBeouf was my boyfriend and for some reason he broke up with me. I was so devastated, and when I woke up I totally missed him. One time I even woke up crying from a dream.” Anne finally noticed Lucy was not expecting the conversation to be focused on her dreams. “Oh, did you have a bad dream last night?”

Lucy curled her legs up under her on the chair. “It’s actually a recurring dream that I’ve been having for a while now.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

“Some parts of it I can’t explain or even remember, like some things seem real and others are just really different. I think I’m a lot younger in the dream, because Katie’s in it and it seems like she’s about six or seven years old. I’m at home, only my house isn’t the same house we lived in.” Lucy’s eyes were glazed over like she was trying to remember the details from the dream. “I’m looking all over for Katie. I can hear her calling me over and over, and I’m just following her voice. When I finally find her, she’s in this room, painting a picture. She’s wearing this cute sort of dress-up dress, but something is different about her. I can never figure out what it is.”

“You mean the way she looks?”

“Yeah, she
looks
really different.” Lucy wasn’t looking at Anne. Her eyes were straight ahead as if she was watching the dream unfold. “Anyway, when I walk in the room she’s smiling. She wants me to see her painting, but it’s turned the other way. So I walk up to her, and as soon as I reach her I start to see her painting.”

“What is it?” Anne asked.

“It’s my mother. And every time I get to that point in the dream, every time I see that picture, it’s like something grabs me and pulls me right out of the dream.”

“Wow,” Anne whispered. “I wonder what that means.”

Just then they heard the door of the bathroom open. Chad poked his head out of the small opening he’d made. “Anyone waiting to get in here?”

“We’re fine,” Anne answered. She flashed her pearly whites at him.

Always the voice of reason, Lucy added, “But we should get going soon.”

“No problem. I’ll be out in five,” Chad said and closed the bathroom door.

Then Lucy suddenly got up from the chair, signifying the end of the conversation. “Let’s get our stuff together. You can have the bathroom next.” Lucy tried to make herself look busy gathering her things even though she didn’t have much to put back in her bag.

“Wait…what about the dream?” Anne sounded concerned. “Don’t you want to finish talking about it?”

“Not really. It’s better if I just forget about it and focus on something else.”

“Are you sure?” she urged. “I mean, maybe if you talk about it you’ll be able to figure out what it all means.” Anne started pulling the covers back as if she intended to make the bed. “Isn’t it supposed to be like unresolved issues are trying to send you messages in your dream, or something like that?”

“I thought you wanted to be a nurse, not a psychiatrist?” Lucy answered sarcastically. “And you don’t have to make that bed, you know.”

Anne laughed and dropped the blanket even though she was almost done. “Oh yeah.”

A loud pounding on the door sent them both whirling around with questioning looks. “This is the manager!” a loud, deep voice came from the other side of the door.

Anne looked at Lucy, who just shrugged and walked slowly toward the door.

“Open up! We know you got a teenage boy in there…we know he has awesome hair, and he’s cute too!”

Lucy reached the door and turned to look at Anne, who mouthed,
What?
They both giggled, and then Lucy opened the door, knowing that it could only be one person.

As Benny stepped in holding a bag from the donut shop and a carton of drinks, Chad walked out of the bathroom with jeans on but holding his shirt. “What’s all the noise?” he said, looking around confused.

“Don’t worry, kid, we’ll protect you!” Benny said in a serious voice and then started laughing.

“What?” Chad whined. “I don’t get it.”

“Just forget it,” Anne said, walking over to Chad and trying not to stare at his chest. “It’s just Benny being Benny.”

“Oh, so this is what I have to look forward to,” Chad said. He pulled his shirt on.

“What are you talking about?” Anne asked.

“Didn’t you tell them?” Benny jumped in. He walked casually over to the table and set everything down. He looked at Chad with a silly grin.

“No, I thought you would.”

“Tell us what?” Anne sounded impatient as she turned and looked at Lucy and then Benny.

“I decided to take the kid with me. Mind if I eat since we’re not ready to go? I’m starving.” With only two chairs in the room, he politely stood next to the table and started munching on a chocolate old-fashioned—one of his favorites.

Lucy had a feeling she knew what he meant, but something this big needed clarification. “What do you mean? With you where?”

“He’s going with me to see my cousins and then back to LA.” Benny polished off the rest of his donut and began brushing crumbs off of his shirt. “We were talking about it last night when you girls were getting the room.”

“Really?” Anne screeched. Lucy shot her a look that said not to overdo it on the excitement, so she calmly sat on the edge of the bed and waited to hear more.

“Yeah,” Chad said as he walked over to the table to join Benny. “Pretty cool of my man, Benny, huh?” He pulled a random donut out of the bag, and without even looking at it, he took a bite. “He said I could crash on his couch for a while…figure out what I want to do, maybe check out the music scene…”

“That’s great, Chad.” Anne held her smile at about a medium even though a super-size was trying to get out. “And that is so nice of you, Benny,” she added.

“Well, I guess my generosity is limitless.”

“Great, then why don’t you share those donuts,” Lucy teased, finally succumbing to her own hunger.

Although she was concerned about how that bit of news would change things for everyone, she had enough things to worry about. Maybe Chad would be gone before they even got back home. He did seem like a great kid, and whatever happened, he made the trip a lot more interesting.

Halfway through the last day in the car, the conversation made its way to sharing stories of growing up. Benny talked about having a big family and how there was always something to go to—a soccer game, a recital, or even just watching his little brother skateboarding in the local park. His best memories were the family barbeques where all of his relatives would go and cook something to share with everyone. At one of the barbeques, when Benny was around fifteen, he and one of his older brothers nabbed a six-pack of beer from the cooler. After they hid in the garage and drank it all, Benny went around the whole party telling all the guests just how much he loved them. Even though he ended up in deep trouble, everyone in the family forever remembered it and laughed about it.

Anne talked about the time just before her dad opened up their business. He was more relaxed and was able to spend more time with Anne and her mother. She loved going to the beach with them and staying all day until sunset.

Chad wanted to talk about his mother and how different she was before meeting his stepdad. Not just her personality, but also in appearance. He showed a picture of the two of them smiling at one of Chad’s school functions. Her hair was dark brown, long and full, and her smile was rich and proud.

Without a doubt, Lucy could relate to Chad’s situation. She understood how life can take a seemingly happy person and turn them into something so lifeless and self-destructive. But she didn’t want to bring down the mood being shared by all. She had her own happy memories she could share, but at that moment, only one thing came to her mind.

Lucy shared a story about one of her best, and worst, dates in high school. She was supposed to be going to a party with Eric, a guy in her English class. She’d only been there for about half an hour when Katie called. Her mother had gone to the store, and Katie was afraid she wouldn’t come back. Lucy wasn’t with Eric at the time; he’d gone off to talk to some friends. When she couldn’t find him after five minutes, she realized she was holding his keys in her purse. She didn’t even give it a second thought, and she was out the door to go get Katie.

Once back at the party, they went upstairs and looked around until they found a quiet room to hang out in. They basically made themselves at home and did whatever they wanted. At one point Katie asked, “Are you sure we’re allowed to use this stuff?” Lucy reassured her, “Of course, this is my friend’s room.” After a while, Lucy snuck downstairs and got some snacks. “It was kind of like a slumber party,” Lucy remembered. They played games, watched TV, and even put on makeup. “The funniest part was,” Lucy continued, “Eric finally called me after a couple of hours wondering where I was and saying he needed his keys. He was pretty nice about the whole thing and ended up driving us both home.”

“That’s hilarious,” Benny laughed. “I guess that guy wasn’t missing you too much on your date.”

Lucy had to agree. “I guess not.”

“Well I think it’s a sweet story,” Anne added. “Lucy took care of her sister back then…and she’s taking care of her now too.”

Chad agreed and told Lucy he thought she was brave, and then he asked her the question that no one asked her yet, which put an abrupt end to the happy memory phase of the trip. “Are you scared to have the operation?”

“Kind of. I guess it just doesn’t seem real yet.”

“Isn’t there still a chance that you won’t end up having the operation?” Anne asked.

“A small one. I have a feeling everything will work out and I’ll be the one. Plus, the doctors say there are just a few more tests to do there, but it shouldn’t change anything.”

“I had my appendix taken out when I was six,” Chad added, “but I barely remember it.”

“I guess I spent so much time thinking about the trip and seeing my sister after all this time that I hadn’t thought that much about the actual surgery.”

“Nice work, Chad!” Benny teased.

“Crap…I’m sorry, Lucy.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Benny just can’t miss an opportunity to make someone feel awkward. In a couple of hours we’ll be there, and then that’s all I’ll be thinking about and talking about anyway. Might as well get used to it now.” Her casual tone did not match her unsettled stomach or her overloaded mind. She reached down into her bag and plucked out her iPod and earphones. Lucy didn’t want to seem abruptly closed off to her travel companions, but she also didn’t want to arrive at her sister’s mentally drained. So she closed her eyes, inserted her earphones, and slid back in the seat. When she needed to relax, she liked to picture a black canvas in her mind. Slowly the black would melt away and become beautiful swirls of red, purple, fuchsia. The colors started flowing to the music, and Lucy fought to stay focused on the canvas and not what was waiting ahead.

“Can I call her Auntie Lucy?” Carly asked her mother as she sat on her bed. She was watching Katie put her laundry away in her purple and pink painted room. Carly had felt like a big girl when her parents let her pick out the paint and the bedspread that had hearts and flowers to match the wall colors.

“I’m sure that will be fine with her.” Katie scooped up a pile of socks and underwear from Carly’s bed and stuffed them into her top dresser drawer. “Sweetie…I want to make sure you understand that Aunt Lucy might need some time to get to know you.”

“But I don’t even know her yet, Mommy,” Carly answered, looking confused.

Katie smiled at the cleverness of her daughter. “I know, baby girl. What I meant was…you know how you are with Papa? Like how you guys give lots of hugs and play and stuff?”

“Yeah, my papa’s the best!” She threw her fists in the air as if performing a cheer.

“Well, Lucy may not be that way at first.” Katie walked to the closet and began hanging a few dresses she picked up from a pile on the bed. “She might be kind of…shy at first.”

“That’s okay, Mommy. I play with shy kids all the time at school.”

“I know,” Katie laughed, “and I’m so proud of you for that. Just be patient, okay?” When Katie came to the last dress, she hesitated. It was Carly’s Cinderella dress, her security dress. “I was thinking maybe we should put this away in your special chest.” She knew it wouldn’t fly, but she thought she should give it a shot. This wouldn’t be the first attempt. “It’s getting a bit too small for you…and we want to keep it nice, right?”

Carly jumped up and stood on the bed in protest. “No, Mommy! It’s my favorite…and I need that dress.”

“Carly, I know you love it…but you know what?” Katie walked over with the dress and sat next to Carly.

“What?”

“You are becoming such a big girl, and this dress is kind of like a security blanket. You know, like the one Zoe carries around all the time.”

“But it’s not a blanket, it’s a dress.”

“Yes. But when do you wear this dress?”

“Just when I feel like it.”

“No, you wear it when you are upset or worried and want to feel better.”

“Yeah, and it works really good, Mommy, so why do you want to get rid of it?”

Katie could feel she was losing the battle and actually thought her daughter had a point. She was only in the first grade. No sense forcing her to grow up too quickly. She was well aware that there weren’t many benefits to that. “Okay, smarty pants. We’ll keep it a bit longer. At least until you can’t fit into it anymore.”

“Yay! Thank you, Mommy.” Carly leaned over and hugged Katie and then ran out of the room as if she were late for an appointment.