"Very funny. If you keep this up I am tempted to avoid you purposely for the sake of my sanity! As for the Festival, we will be there... if you think it wise."
Darcy glanced at Richard's suddenly clouded face, noting that his gaze had strayed from divine wife to lovely Georgiana where she stood across the room in animated conversation with Kitty Bennet and a number of others.
"Richard, you need to let your guilt go. How many times must we tell you that Georgiana is perfectly fine? Only you persist in this train of thought. She is young and resilient, much as you are. Her only pain is in your remorse and embarrassment and avoidance of her. She loves you too much to want you to suffer. You need to talk to her, and although this is perhaps not the best venue, you should not embark on your honeymoon with any residual baggage."
Richard nodded, eyes sad but suddenly determined. "You are right. Excuse me please."
He was waylaid on his quest by his wife, a brief moment of whispered declarations of devotion and subtle caresses lightening his spirits. It was a face infused with radiant happiness that greeted Georgiana, who instantly smiled in return.
"Miss Darcy, Miss Bennet," he bowed formally before turning to Kitty. "Miss Bennet, may I steal my cousin away for a stroll on the terrace?"
Arm in arm they walked among the scattered guests enjoying the crisp air, content in the silence of sweet companionship. With each step Richard's irrational guilt disappeared.
It was Georgiana who broke the hush with a softly teasing lilt, "Now, this is not so horrible, is it Richard? Taking a turn with one of your dearest friends?"
He laughed helplessly, gracing her with his beaming face and bright grin.
She halted, reaching gentle fingertips to his cheek. "Ah! There it is! The sincere smile of true happiness that I have longed to rejoice in. The face that I so adore filled with peace. You are a fool, Richard Fitzwilliam, to think that I would ever wish for anything else for you. But I shall forgive you this one misstep, as long as you promise to be my friend for all of your life."
He blinked stinging tears, swallowing the lump caught in his throat, lowering his head to briefly rest upon her shoulder before again meeting her glorious eyes. He lifted her fingers for a firm kiss, holding her gaze while answering, "All of my life and beyond to eternity, Georgie, my little mouse. That is my promise."
***
Kitty watched Georgiana and Richard disappear around the corner with a pleased smile on her face. Naturally, she knew the entire tale, she and Georgiana maintaining a constant correspondence over the months. The sadness that Georgiana experienced at what she feared was an estrangement with Richard was profound, and Kitty was thrilled to see the two finally speak. She had no doubt that their relationship's wounds would be repaired, knowing that the affection shared was deep.
She sighed.
Too bad not all relationships can be mended so easily,
she thought. Of course, not all relationships were of an honest nature, a fact that she could not forget no matter how hard she tried. The odd part was that her heart no longer ached for Anthony Falke, and there were even times when she struggled to recall a fine detail of his appearance or character. Yet the damage to her soul remained as bleakly intense as on the day she was rejected so brutally.
Kitty had not shared the events in Stevenage with either parent. Primarily this was due to the painful nature of the ordeal, but also out of mortification. Being rebuffed so vigorously by someone who had professed love and proudly believing oneself a worthy recipient of love, only to have it dashed into a thousand pieces was a staggering abasement.
Torn between the fear of further lies and humiliation, and the conviction that she was deficient in some manner and therefore undeserving of the love she saw portrayed so beautifully in her sisters' marriages, Kitty shrank from any male attention. She resisted attending the various assemblies offered in Meryton and when she was coerced, she danced few sets and generally with boys she knew to be "safe." She had not been particularly keen on accompanying Georgiana to London, even as fond as she was of Colonel Fitzwilliam, but her friend's pleading and misery had won over any misgivings.
Now here she was, a guest at Colonel Fitzwilliam's wedding, surrounded by a sea of men in uniform, and all she could think of was how her mother would shrilly scold her for not taking advantage of a prime marriage market when it was laid on her lap! The thought was actually quite humorous, and she smiled at the mental image of her mother in a nervous tizzy, chuckling under her breath until she realized that her expression had drawn the attention of an adolescent soldier standing several yards away. He bowed in a sort of salute, and to her horror started crossing toward her! Eyes wild, she launched from the chair and made a dash for the doorway.
The last thing she wanted was to make idle conversation with a pimply faced boy cadet. She wove through the press of bodies conversing and laughing, making for an empty corridor to the left. A quick glance behind proved that no one was following or seemed aware of her passage. With a sigh of relief, she opened a random door and noted a darkened room.
Perfect!
She ducked inside and sagged against the latched door, closing her eyes for a silent prayer of thanksgiving.
The room was quite dark and it took her pupils a few minutes to adjust. She realized it was a vast library only because she was standing near a tall shelf of books. All the curtains were drawn, sporadic gaps allowing the muted light of an overcast day in January to pierce for faint illumination. She wended past the shelves and chairs toward the back of the room, no specific destination in mind, and not noting the man leaning casually against the unlit fireplace until she nearly collided with him.
"Oh!" She exclaimed, retreating several paces in alarm. "Forgive me! I did not see you there!"
"Obviously." His voice echoed about the room, resonant tones imbued with traces of latent laughter. "It is understandable, however, so no need to apologize."
For some reason Kitty felt a flair of irritation. "You could have alerted me as to your presence. Then neither of us would be suffering such embarrassment!"
"Why should we be embarrassed? It is a dark room so clearly you did not want to be seen. Seeking privacy, I assumed. As was I."
"Nonetheless, you should have made your presence known."
She could sense his shrug even though the gloom was too great to see more than a vague outline. "It is a large room so I rather hoped you would wander to the far side. I did not wish to intrude upon your solitude, but apparently the intrusion was fated to be for both of us."
"Intrusion was what I was evading, oddly enough," she blurted, biting her lip at the rude slip.
"What sort of intrusion?"
"Unwanted conversation, ironically."
He chuckled, the sound reverberating. "Yes, ironic indeed. Doubly so as I fled here for the same reason."
She cocked her head, straining to see more than an outline of what appeared to be a tall, brawny figure. The voice was indecipherable. Was he young or old? None of the squeak inherent in the truly young, or the tremulousness of the aged, but anywhere in between was possible.
"Who were you avoiding?"
"The dozens of available women from forty years on down who my father deems it his self-appointed duty to parade under my nose at any gathering we attend. Weddings, funerals, all are fair game as far as he is concerned." There was that smoldering laughter again, not a trace of resentment in his words. Kitty realized she was smiling.
"Only forty years on down? How fortunate you are. My mother considers any male not yet in his dotage eligible."
"Is she here now? Pointing out the wealth of handsome and not-so-handsome specimens in uniform? Is that why you scurried away?"
And she did laugh. "No, she is not here, but I was actively imagining her face when I tell her that I did not flirt with and gain the favors of at least one officer. She will be deeply disappointed in me." And for the first time there was no bitterness in the thought.
"I gather that we are both horrid children, severely upsetting to our parents," he said.
"Indeed we are."
"I, for one, have vowed never to force those of the opposite sex upon my children, when they arrive."
"Interesting. Of course, the paradox is that if you do not fulfill the wish of your father, you will never have any offspring to uphold your vow to!"
He laughed aloud, slapping his thigh in mirth. "Excellent! Touche, miss. That, I confess, has never occurred to me! Perhaps I should return to the parlor and see who he has scared up."
"It sounds as though he may have reached the point of desperation with you, so I am not sure you can trust his judgment at this juncture."
"Hmmm... You are undoubtedly correct. I think I am safer here in the dark conversing with a complete stranger. Ah!" And she discerned the slap of his palm against his forehead. "But I forgot that you were seeking solitude and avoiding unwanted conversation. So we now have a dilemma."
"How so?"
"Who should leave? I was here first, so logic would dictate that you depart and face the lurking male hounds. But then I do pride myself on being a gentleman, so decorum dictates that I bow out gracefully and manfully bear the agony. What shall we do?"
"Do you have a coin? We could flip for it, the loser rejoining the assembly and taking their chances."
"Alas, it is too dark." And neither mentioned the simple solution of pulling the drapes.
"Well, we have been talking now for some fifteen minutes, so are no longer
complete
strangers." Kitty offered hesitantly.
"True, true. And the conversation, at least from my perspective, has not been completely unwanted."
"I agree."
Silence fell, Kitty sensing his eyes upon her and feeling the smile. A comfortable quiet settled about them. He shifted from one foot to the other, still leaning against the fireplace and Kitty could now perceive that his arms were crossed over his chest. She paced around a chaise, fingertips brushing over the edges for tactile direction, unconsciously striving to attain an angle that might cast greater clarification upon her partner.
"Are you here as a guest of the bride or groom?"
"The groom. My father is a general in Colonel Fitzwilliam's regiment. I have known him for years, although I cannot say we are close confidants. My brother went to the Academy with him, so is closer in age and relationship. And you?"
"The groom as well. My sister is married to his cousin, Mr. Darcy."
"Ah! So you would be Miss Bennet?"
Kitty nodded, hesitating to speak. For some strange reason, she suddenly felt uneasy, but could not quite place her finger on why.
Then he spoke, "You preferred anonymity, yes?" His voice was soft, almost a caress. "Stay in the shadows, talking with the unseen, unknown individual where it is deemed safe? Why is that, Miss Bennet?"
"I suppose if I never see your face or know who you are than you cannot affect me." The words burst forth, Kitty blushing at her private confession, but he did not seem perturbed.
"Hmmm... Perhaps. Although, in my experience it is the hidden one who is the greater threat. The enemy who lurks in dark places and springs out unawares."
"Is that not, in effect, what you have done?"
He laughed, the sound musical. "From a certain point of view, I suppose that is correct. Although, strictly speaking, you sprung in on me."
"But you were lurking in the dark place."
"Merely because I arrived first. The scenario could have been reversed."
"You are laughing at me," she accused, suppressing a girlish giggle.
"Only a little. In truth I am just pointing out the absurdity in both of our rationales and actions."
"What do you mean?"
Again she felt his shrug. For the first time since entering the library he moved from his languid repose against the mantel, standing straight and even taller than she thought, nearly as tall as Mr. Darcy, and took one stride toward her.
"We hide ourselves away to avoid what we have decided are unpleasant consequences. We seek to be left alone or at least to our own devices without exterior finagling. We weary of the game imposed upon us by well-meaning parents. And we somehow have divined that there is a safety to the dark. Yet, and I can only speak honestly for myself although I am sensing the same from you, we are actually enjoying ourselves. You see? Absurdity."
"I suppose you now want me to congratulate you on your brilliant deductions and acknowledge that I am enjoying myself?"
"Only if you mean it."
Kitty laughed, helpless against the smug, gay inflection obvious in his retort. "I believe, sir, that you are impertinent!"
"I have been accused of worse."
He moved again, but in the dark she lost sight of where he was. "Sir?"
"I believe, Miss Bennet, that it is time for us to dispense with the shadows." He was to her right, not five feet away, and beside the nearest cloaked window. "Are you willing to face the light of day with all its accompanying glories and ugliness?"