In the Garden of Disgrace (14 page)

“Now that’s a very interesting question.
I’ve an answer for you, but I think you are going to hate it. On
the other hand,” Adrian said as he moved across the room and
reestablished himself on the settee, “given your conduct as I’ve
come to know it, perhaps you won’t care at all.”

The words were an accusation, and a flash of
fury sent Jillian’s teeth to gnashing.

“Would you just please tell me? I admit I’m
concerned. Why do you feel the need to prolong the torture?”

“Sit down, Jillian.”

She remained where she stood for a moment,
but he clearly had no intention of proceeding until she did what he
said. She flounced to the chair opposite him and plunked down.

“Satisfied?”

“Yes,” the earl said curtly. “Two
gentlemen—I use the term loosely—by the names of Owen and Mikey
were discussing a certain young lady who decided several days ago
to take a ride on her horse in the middle of the night—”

“Now wait a minute!” Jillian interrupted,
but he held up his hand to stem her protest.

“It seems this young lady not only left the
house at an ungodly hour, and alone, she did so in her nightdress
which not only thrilled the stable hand who witnessed the event but
also every male ear to whom he transmitted his tale.”

“Is that who stole my slippers?” The
question was beside the point given the extent of her problem, yet
it was the only thing her shocked brain could conjure.

“Barney is his name and, yes, he took your
slippers. He wanted proof that he had seen what he said he had
seen.”

“That’s terrible! I want him let go
immediately.”

Adrian leaned forward, elbows on his knees
as he looked at her intently. “Let’s think this through, shall we,
my dear? The only way we can hope to curtail the talk is to retain
some control over the fellow with the story. Barney and I had a
long discussion and he won’t be spreading any more rumors. In
return we will not terminate his employment.”

“Do you honestly think he will refrain?”

“What I think is he will not be quite as
blatant with his tongue. But I also think that is the most we can
hope for. You must understand, Jillian, the damage is mostly done.
He can’t take back what’s already been said.”

At that moment so many emotions warred in
Jillian’s breast, she could not distinguish one from the other. She
did recognize mortification, and she hated that Adrian was the one
who had broken the news to her. She would be damned, though, if she
would admit any wrongdoing to this man. Therefore, she tapped into
the resentment that warred with her shame.

“Don’t know what business of yours it is
anyway, my lord. This Barney is my servant and I should decide his
fate.”

The earl’s eyes narrowed. “You’re an
ungrateful wretch, aren’t you? You would have preferred I did
nothing?”

“Why are you acting sanctimonious? I told
you before I like to ride at night, what it meant to me.”

“The reality of your little jaunts did not
sink into my thick skull. And it never occurred to me that you
would be brazen enough to leave the house without even getting
dressed. What were you thinking?”

“I didn’t do it by design,” Jillian said,
now thoroughly ruffled. “I felt restless so I went to the kitchen
for a bite to eat. I thought I could sneak out and no one would
notice. It was more a case of being lazy than anything sinister.
And I definitely did not see the servant or I wouldn’t have done
it.”

“Do you realize what could have happened to
you if this Barney fellow were not a benign character whose
excitement came from voyeurism and a need to gossip? There was more
than your reputation at stake that night. He could have followed
you, knowing you would be alone, and done you serious harm.”

He sounded truly worried, but he should have
known better than to turn his concern for her into a lecture. The
more he talked the more hostile her attitude became.

“It’s not my health that bothers you, my
lord,” she said stiffly. “You are no different than any other male.
It is the morality issue that has you upset—another man saw me in
my bedclothes.”

Jillian tossed the challenge at him, knowing
he would be provoked. She was not disappointed.

Adrian reached across and grabbed her wrist,
his pale blue eyes glinting like frosty chips of ice. She pulled
away, struggling to release his grip, but he held fast as he yanked
her toward him so their faces were only inches apart.

“I will not offend you by pretending I
wasn’t disturbed by the impropriety of the situation,” he said
through gritted teeth. “My God, woman, have you no shame?”

“Let go of me!”

“Would you like to know what they were
saying, Jillian, the discussion they had about your anatomy?”

“What discussion?” Jillian continued to
struggle. “The gown I wore covered me from head to foot. Now you
are making things up just to embarrass me.”

“Oh really?” Adrian said in a dreadful
voice, and his hold tightened. “It seems that gown was somewhat
transparent, enough so that our friend Barney told everyone you
were naked beneath it. What have you to say to that?”

She went very still. “I d-don’t care,” she
lied.

“I’m sorry to hear that, my dear, I really
am. You told me once that at some point one must cease to care.
Well, I’m here to tell you that at some point one must
begin
to care. You’ve long since reached that point.”

“I owe you no explanations for my conduct,
my lord. And if your goal is to try and stop me from riding at
night then I’m afraid you’ve wasted your time.”

This time she succeeded in wrenching her
hand away and she jumped from her chair. The chair fell backwards
as she tried to flee the room. The earl came right behind her and
he took her arm, spinning her around to face him.

Jillian shrieked. “Let me go!”

A knock at the door temporarily interrupted
the hostilities.

“Jillian?” Aunt Pru’s anxious voice drifted
through the panel. “Are you all right, dear?”

Adrian grabbed Jillian by the shoulders and
shook her. “Do you want to share this argument with everyone?” he
asked in a fierce whisper. “If you have any heart at all, you will
spare your aunt this latest transgression.”

She reluctantly nodded, gathering her
dignity as best she could. But her chin trembled which she hated
because it revealed her agitation. The earl scanned her features
and, apparently satisfied, dropped his arms, moving across the room
to open the door.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Prudence, Jillian and I are
having a slight disagreement,” he said. “It’s nothing that need
worry you.”

Jillian could not see Auntie Pru, but she
saw Adrian’s reassuring stance as he hovered in the doorway. His
words were persuasive and, since she knew her aunt had come to
trust the earl, she was not surprised when she heard the older
woman withdraw murmuring an apology for interrupting.

He closed the door and turned back to her.
“You’re right, you know,” he said, now appearing as calm as he had
been enraged.

She swallowed. “About what?”

“I didn’t like one iota hearing about my
future wife’s attributes before I’d even had the chance to see for
myself. Male vanity, I suppose, but there it is. “

Jillian looked down at her hands, unable to
meet his hard, unrelenting gaze. “I made a mistake.”

“You flout the conventions on purpose,
Jillian. There’s always a choice but you seem determined to make
the wrong one.”

“Can’t you see we don’t suit, my lord? You
want a conventional lady and I’ll never be one again.” She hoped he
could not detect the hurt she felt.

Rather than addressing that statement, he
asked something else. “Why couldn’t you sleep that night you went
riding?”

The question was probing, and she looked up
to find Adrian still staring at her intently. She shrugged
nervously at once uncomfortable for a reason entirely different
than before.

“I told you—I was restless. I simply could
not sleep. It’s happened before. It won’t be the last time.”

“Did it have anything to do with my not
visiting you that day?” The words were shrewd and insinuating as he
began to walk toward her.

“Really, your ego gets ahead of you, my
lord.”

Jillian had to fight the urge to fly from
him once more. As it was, she backed up several steps.
Unfortunately, his approach was relentless, and she resumed her
backward escape until the wall next to the fireplace interrupted
her.

A satisfied smile lit the earl’s features as
he stopped in front of her. She could feel the warmth radiating
from his body, could detect the soap he used, could smell the
aromatic masculine scents of brandy and tobacco.

“I’d like to think you missed me.” He ran
the side of his index finger on her cheek. “After all, I missed
you.”

“Pretty speech,” she muttered, keeping her
gaze averted.

“But sincere,” he said in a thick voice. And
then, “Kiss me, Jillian.”

“Not tonight, no…” She began to tremble.

“Oh yes, especially tonight.”

Unable to resist the seductive words, she
looked into his eyes, blue eyes now hot with something besides ire.
A shiver of exquisite sensation skittered along her nerves and
pooled in her pelvis. In all her life she could not remember having
felt the pull of desire quite like this. Strange how heated
emotions could awaken another kind of heat.

Adrian raised his hands to the wall on
either side of her shoulders and dipped his head close, touching
her lips with his own. He drew away then brought his mouth to hers
again in a quick nipping motion, repeating the process until her
lower body began to burn in earnest.

“Kiss me, Jillian.”

She shook her head but it was an automatic
response rather than an indication of how she felt.

Undaunted, he continued his insidious
aggression on her senses, pressing the entire length of his frame
against hers, especially his hips, forcing her tight against the
wall. Jillian placed her palms to his middle, meaning to push him
away, but instead found herself kneading the hard flesh beneath her
fingers. He pulled back his gaze now bright with lust.

“Kiss me,” he demanded, his voice
unrecognizable in his aroused state.

Jillian could no longer deny him. She ran
her hands up from his stomach, absorbing the muscled texture of his
chest as she went. All the while he watched the searching movement,
his breathing intensifying, and suddenly she realized he was
feasting on her excitement. That knowledge made her feel
powerful.

It made her feel other things as well.

She rose on her toes, putting her arms
around his neck, and drew him toward her. He stared into her
features, his gaze never wavering. Fleetingly she touched her
tongue to his lip before kissing him fully. Adrian groaned against
her mouth, a groan she felt rise from the bottom of his chest as he
grabbed her, wrapping her in his embrace.

For long moments they held the kiss, but
Jillian sensed his impatience, his craving for more. She perceived
the tension building within him and it rolled over her, dragging
her along, destroying her defenses. What he wanted she now
wanted.

Adrian placed his hands at the small of her
back then slipped them downward, cupping her buttocks. He pressed
her pelvis intimately against his, and she could feel his arousal,
hard and demanding. Raw desire like warmed honey burst forth and
soared through her veins, and she came to see that she, too, fed
off his excitement.

Only when he began to fumble with the
buttons at the back of her frock did she think to protest, but it
was a feeble response and insincere.

“Adrian, we go too fast…”

As though he had not heard her, Adrian eased
the dress from her shoulders, and he immediately clamped his mouth
on a spot at the base of her throat that throbbed tenderly. All the
while he continued to tug the bodice lower—all the while he
continued the onslaught with his hips. Jillian felt the air as her
skin was uncovered and she shivered.

Adrian pulled back, and they both went still
as his avid gaze drifted to her exposed breasts. For what seemed an
interminable length of time he stared at the soft peaks.

“Beautiful,” he said, his voice as caressing
as the gentle stroke of a fingertip. However, he did not touch
her.

“Adrian.”

He brought his regard back to hers, and what
she saw lurking in the depths of his mesmerizing eyes made her
lungs constrict. Jillian did not know why she chose that
erotically-charged moment to regain her senses, for it was the last
thing she wanted. But somehow she knew if she did not put a stop to
the madness now, it would not end until she was thoroughly
disgraced.

“We can’t do this,” she said, “not in my
aunt’s parlor.”

She did not tell him she was not ready. He
would have known it for the lie it was.

At first he looked confused as though trying
to understand, but then his vision gradually seemed to clear. He
smiled at her ruefully, although the expression on his face was a
pained one.

“Are you quite certain?” he asked.

“Yes. Yes, I think so.”

“It is what you want?”

She found herself unable to answer, and
suddenly she was embarrassed by how much she had wanted him to make
love to her. But he knew anyway. She could see by the exultation on
his face.

“Marry me, Jillian, and let’s end this
torture.” His gaze wandered to her breasts again where his
attention lingered.

Flustered, Jillian began to yank her bodice
back into place. “I don’t want to talk about this right now, my
lord. We lost our composure for a moment. That doesn’t mean we must
marry. There’s no real harm done, is there? Besides, wanting to
make love hardly seems reason enough to enter a marriage.”