In the Heart of Forever (5 page)

I turned back to Rave. "I'm so sorry."

Rage and fury flew through his eyes, darkening his young handsome features.

“Rave,” I sighed. “He’s not usually like that.”

“Don’t apologize for him. It’s not your fault,” Rave reached out to touch my arm.

I flinched before he made contact. I wasn't scared of him but my nerves were shot and I was confused.

He drew a breath and released it. “Fuck, Jesse. I won’t hurt you,” he scrubbed his face with his hand.

Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m sorry. I need to go.”

“Jesse.”

I walked past him and bent down to gather up my things. A heavy hand landed on my shoulder making me jump. I spun on him. “Please. Don’t touch me.”

Ice cold fear ran down my spine for a moment and then I looked into his dark green eyes. The affection that soared through them, relaxed me some but I needed to get out of there, needing some time alone. “I’m sorry Rave. I…”

His jaw tensed. “I won’t hurt you, Jesse. No matter what Jake said, I’m not that type of guy.”

“I...I know...I just..."

He took a step towards me, backing me into the corner.

My heart pounded against my chest. “Rave, stop. Please,” I cried, holding my hands up in front of me.

His fists clenched at his side. He then reached out and cupped my cheek, rubbing a thumb over my bottom lip.

My belly twisted with nervous flutters. I wanted him to touch me but the thought of letting him in, scared me.

He leaned down and lightly kissed my forehead. "I won't hurt you."

“Just...leave me...I...” My heart pounded hard against my chest at the softness in his voice. How could he be so sure that he wouldn’t hurt me?

A moment later, he leaned down, grabbing my notebook and pen out of my bag. Rave opened it to a blank page and I watched as he angrily scribbled something on the paper. He threw the book back in my bag and stomped off, leaving me alone to the loud beating of my heart.

Chapter 6

After my break down on Rave in the library, I grabbed my bag and checked my notebook. He had written his name and phone number down. I didn’t call him or text him. I was scared to.

My heart broke slightly at that thought. I was confused. I felt guilty for wanting happiness when my mom was going through her own issues. It was my fault. I was the reason she wasn’t up and walking around. Because of me and Allan. He blamed me for the accident. For her falling down the stairs. Was it really my fault?

A lump formed in my throat and I took a deep breath. I wouldn’t cry. I shed too many tears over what Allan had put us through.

A week later, I was putting my bag in my locker when a yellow tulip came up from beneath my nose. I gasped and grabbed the flower, looking up at Rave.

He smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I know you like them.” His cheeks reddened.

I sniffed the flower, tears welling in my eyes. The sweet smell invaded my nostrils, reminding me of my mom. Her sitting on our apartment balcony. Planting the small bulbs with a big smile on her face. She was happy.

“You…you…” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Thank you.”

He shrugged. “It’s nothing.”

I opened my mouth to reply when I was shoved into him. He grabbed onto me, stopping my fall.

I turned to see who pushed me and saw the Triple M’s walking away, laughing.

I stepped out of Rave’s embrace and bit back a sob when I saw the crushed flower.

“Hey, I’ll get you another one.” Rave ran his thumbs under my eyes, brushing away my tears that I didn’t realize had fallen.

He leaned against the lockers.

I pulled my journal from the bag and touched his arm. “Rave, I’m sorry about the flower and—“

“Jesse, stop,” he bit out, folding his arms under his chest.

“But I would like to apologize for how I acted in the library last week. You probably think I'm a freak.”

His eyes snapped to mine and he grabbed the broken flower and my journal. The tulip flattened when he placed it in the middle and closed the book. Then he handed it back.

“Stop. You don’t need to apologize."

I swallowed past the hard lump in my throat. “Okay…I…”

“You don’t have to apologize,” he said, his voice softening and tucked a strand of hair behind my hair. Knowing it was his signature touch with me, I savored it. "You are not a freak, Jesse."

I looked up at him, searching his face. “Ok, well…”

“I was wondering if you would like to hang out after school,” he said quickly.

“Uh… it’s Wednesday.”

Rave frowned.

My stomach twisted with anxiety. He’ll be home early. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Rave’s back went stiff.

“Maybe tomorrow?” I added.

“No, it’s fine. I understand if you don’t want to,” Rave rose from the locker, his jaw tense.

“I never said I don’t want to. I just have to be home by a certain…”

“Jesse, you don’t need to make excuses. It’s fine.”

He moved to walk away and I grabbed his arm. “Rave, please…I can explain.” Hot tears filled my eyes and I started shaking. Sobs threatened to rack my shoulders. I wanted to tell him why and that my step father was an asshole but the words wouldn't leave my mouth.

He looked down at me, his eyes warming. He grabbed my stuff out of my hands and flung my bag over his shoulder. He slammed the locker door closed and took my hand. “Follow me.”

“Rave?” I looked up at him wondering where he was taking me.

“I won’t hurt you, Jesse,” his deep green eyes stared into mine. It was almost like he was willing me to believe him with his gaze. Did I believe him? Sort of. Everyone hurts someone at some point in their lives. It’s just a matter of when but I wanted to think differently of him.

He pulled me behind him as we walked to the exit.

Panic flared in my stomach. What if the school called home and Allan found out I had skipped? “Rave.”

He turned to me, stopping us before the doors of the school. “I need you to trust me.”

I did trust him.

He’s not your stepfather.

I frowned at the little voice in my head. Maybe I should give Rave a chance.

“Come on,” he gently tugged on my hand.

I ignored the stares and whispers of the other students as we walked by them and held tightly onto Rave’s hand. His fingers were strong but gentle and even though they felt rough, calloused even, I knew they wouldn’t hurt me.

We walked out into the parking lot behind our small school and approached a black muscle car. It was beautiful. Its sleek body screamed power and control. It was gorgeous.

Rave took his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door, opening it for me.

I hesitated a moment, looking up into his beautiful green eyes.

He smiled down at me and brushed a hair behind my ear, waiting patiently for me to make my decision. I looked back at the school and noticed some kids staring at us. I’m sure elaborate rumors were formed right then.

I bit my lower lip, looking up at him.

“Take your time, Jesse,” he whispered.

I took a deep breath and lowered myself into the car. The new car smell washed over me, easing the nervous butterflies that had taken up residence in my belly.

It was like he knew. I didn’t know how and I didn't trust easily but something pulled me towards Rave. Maybe he was my Knight in shining armor.

Rave handed me my bag, shutting me inside the big boat of a car.

Nerves racking through my body as I watched him walk around the car, sliding in beside me a moment later. Without saying a word to me, he stuck the key in the ignition, bringing the big car to life.

It rumbled beneath and around me, almost like the music I listened to everyday. “Rave?”

He turned to me as we pulled out of the parking spot. “I want to show you something.”

We drove in silence as we headed downtown. I turned to Rave, unease settling in my stomach again.

He noticed my reaction and reached for my hand but didn’t grab it. His eyes flicked back to the road, keeping his hand out, waiting for me. “Jesse, I know we haven’t known each other for long but…you have no reason not to trust me.”

I believed him. I wasn’t sure why but every time he looked at me, he saw me for me. He wasn’t being nice to me out of pity. I took another deep breath and placed my hand in his, entwining our fingers together. “Where are you taking me?”

“We’re here,” he said a moment later.

I followed his gaze and saw a large building sitting before us. Half of it was an auto repair shop and the other…a tattoo parlor? I frowned, turning back to Rave. "You wanted to show me a tattoo parlor?"

“You showed me a part of you with your music. It’s my turn now.” He smiled softly and stepped out of the vehicle.

I opened my door as he neared it.

He motioned to the building. “This is me.”

He held out his hand and I grabbed a hold of it, letting him help me out of the car. Every time I touched his hand, I became more and more comfortable with him. He seemed to know that. Even though it was such a tiny gesture, he never took advantage of it.

"Jesse," Rave's voice was deep as we paused outside his car. He brought our joined hands up to his lips and kissed my knuckles.

I looked up at him, leaning against the car. I could lose myself in the smoldering eyes of his stare.

He leaned down, his lips mere inches from mine. The air between us crackled and fizzed with a current that I had never felt before.

"Kiss me," I breathed, my voice husky. Was that me talking?

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

I tugged his hand, pulling him closer to me. "Yes."

He grabbed the back of my neck and brought his mouth down to mine. His lips were soft, warm, gentle. Warm shivers spread through my body. It was a light kiss but I wanted more. I needed more. "Rave."

"Yeah?" he said against my lips.

Not knowing how to ask, I decided to show him. I peaked my tongue out, licking his bottom lip.

He hesitated before opening his mouth to me. His hot breath was sweet, coating my tongue, filling my lungs with an air of passion that made my head spin.

A small moan escaped the back of my throat startling me. I released him and took a deep breath.

He ran his thumb across my jaw, leaning his forehead against mine. "Wow."

I smiled, my skin tingling. "Yeah." Wow was an understatement. Never being kissed before, I didn't know what to expect but that was definitely not it.

A throat cleared behind me and I jumped, spinning around. A large man walked towards us. His black t-shirt fitted over a hard torso that showcased thick arms lined with tattoos. The man had gentle blue eyes and a strip of hair lined the middle of his otherwise bald head. He clapped Rave on the shoulder, all the while keeping his eyes on me. “Hey Rave. Didn’t think I’d see you back here this week.”

Rave smiled. “Yeah, well change of plans,” he motioned between us. “Jesse, this is Ren. Ren, Jesse Dawson.”

“Hi,” I said, shyly. I grabbed onto Rave's arm, curling our fingers together. Ren smiled warmly.

“Hello.” His eyes sparkled, lighting up his face. “Since you’re here, I have a sketch I want you to take a look at,” he looked back at Rave.

“Sure,” Rave and I walked hand in hand as we followed Ren back into the tattoo parlor.

“Do you work here?” I asked as we stepped into the shop.

“Work here? He owns the place,” Ren told me.

“I don’t own it yet. Not until I turn twenty one but yes, I work here,” Rave added.

“Oh…how…”

He smiled. “Ren’s my older brother.”

Chapter 7

“You’re brothers?” I looked between the two of them. They had the same deep green eyes and long dark lashes. Rave and Ren both nodded but neither gave more information.

Ren went about cleaning some tools…probably used for tattoos.

“What sketch did you want me to see?” Rave asked him.

As the brothers chatted, I walked around the small room. The walls were lined with pictures. Beautiful pictures that were drawn to perfection. Sketches of celebrities, animals…skulls…snakes…everything was so intricate and lifelike. I only drew flowers, tulips mostly but these were gorgeous. It was like they’d jump right off of the paper. But one picture caught my eye. It was black and white and the tulip was in mid bloom. The stem curved into a heart shape with two leaves sticking out on either side. I felt a pull towards the drawing. Like it was meant for me. It reminded me of my mom. “Guys?”

They both turned to me.

“How much would it cost for me to get this tattooed on me?” I pointed to one as they both walked up behind me. Ren looked at the picture. “For you, darling, it’s free.”

“Oh, well I can pay you back,” I offered. I didn’t know how I would but I’d find a way.

"Nope,” he shook his head. “Clearly you’re friends with my brother. Think of it as a family discount.”

My heart swelled with the friendliness that I was given. “Well, thank you.”

“Where did you want it?” Rave asked me.

I lifted up my sleeve. “On my wrist please.”

“Ok, I’ll get the stuff set up,” Ren smiled brightly.

I bit my bottom lip and looked up at Rave. “Um…”

“Did you want Rave to do it?” Ren asked me.

I looked at Rave and then back at his brother. “If you don’t mind.”

He clapped a hand on his back. “Not at all. Rave, she’s all yours.”

My gaze met Rave’s. I was happy being his friend but if it bloomed into something more, I’d take it. His eyes twinkled and he winked at me.

“Are you sure you want me to do it?”

My eyes flicked up to Rave’s and I nodded slowly.

“Ok, great. I’ll get you set up,” Ren stated.

“Are you positive you want one?” Rave asked me as his brother left.

“Yes.” As soon as I saw the little tulip staring back at me, I knew I had to have it on my wrist. Like it was meant for me.

“Ok, I’ll make it beautiful for you," Rave placed his hand on my shoulder and kissed my head.

I smiled up at him. “Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure, Jesse,” Rave’s deep green eyes filled with warmth.

My heart stuttered.

He turned to walk away and I grabbed his hand.