In the Midst of Tribulation (21 page)

"Thanks. I appreciate y'all coming out looking for me."
The two of them fell quiet as they concentrated their efforts in making their way up the trail. Piper was grateful to finally see the house. She helped Jay upstairs and was able to sit her on the bed. With an economy of motion, she was able to undress her and get lying down in bed.
"You sweated a bit during your adventures. You want me to give you a wipe down?" she asked, frowning at the pale face.
Jay clenched her jaw briefly against her dependency. Taking in a deep breath and releasing it through her nose, she managed to smile. "Thank you. That would be nice."
Moving to the stove, Piper set a log to burning before gathering together a bowl of warm water and a soft cloth. Setting everything by the bed, she pulled down the blanket and began to wash. Her large hands were gentle in their ministrations.
Jay closed her eyes and willed herself to endure the attention. The strokes were almost hypnotic and she eventually relaxed. After it was over, she tiredly refused any food. Between one breath and the next, she fell asleep.
It was full dark when Susan climbed up the stairs to the attic room. "Hey, Jay," she called. When the brown eyes fluttered open, she said, "I've brought you up a cup of tea."
"Thanks." Slowly and carefully, Jay eased up into a sitting position.
Susan watched her without making any effort to help. Once she was braced, she handed over the warm liquid. "You want to talk about what happened today?"
"Not really." Jay sipped from the mug. Over the tendrils of steam, she watched Susan watch her. "I'm really tired."
"We can do this at another time but, trust me, we're going to talk about this."
"No. I mean it. I'm really tired." Jay shifted against the pillows. She raised an eyebrow. "You know, tired."
"Oh, that kind of tired."
"Yeah. I'm also in a bit of pain."
"I think it's more than just a bit, sweetie. I just wish there was something I could do."
"Well, I thought for a brief moment there that what I wanted was to be done with the aches and pains." Her voice dropped. "Permanently."
"I thought as much."
"You're disappointed."
"I wouldn't say that." Susan leaned closer to her. "You're one of the strongest women I've ever met. The fact that you could even consider killing yourself scares the piss out of me." She picked up Jay's hand and held it tightly.
"Well, as you can see, I had second thoughts."
"What changed your mind?"
"A sneaking suspicion that the pain I'm feeling now is nothing compared to the everlasting torment I'm heading for." She laughed, harshly. "No reason to rush to hell."
Susan cocked her head. "You don't really believe that nonsense, do you? You've been listening to the wrong people if you think you're going to burn." She stroked her thumb over Jay's knuckles. "You've fed the hungry, clothed the naked, and loved your neighbor as yourself. If anyone deserves to make it through the pearly gates, you do."
"Aw, shucks. Your flattery is going straight to my head." Jay joked, batting her eyelashes.
"I'm serious. You saved us. Tell me what I can do to help you save yourself."
"I fear I'm just a poor patient. I don't do sick or weak well."
"It must be especially hard since you're the one that we've been going to for all the answers."
"Knowledge is power and all that jazz."
"It's still cold comfort when you're feeling ill."
"I'm scared.
"You gave us a scare, too."
"Sorry."
"I wasn't looking for an apology. I just want you know that you're not alone."
"I know that. And I'm kind of glad."
"Are you?"
"Yeah." Jay snickered at the look on Susan's face. "I guess you never expected to hear that from me?"
"You never cease to do the unexpected. I need that and I need you." Susan shrugged. "We all need each other, if we're going to make it out here."
"I hate to be the one to break it to you but no-one gets out alive."
Susan slapped her thigh. "Don't make fun. I'm serious. I know that it'll be hard but give yourself time to heal."
"I'll try." She ducked her head in the face of Susan's stare. "Okay, I will."
"It's not going to kill you to accept a little help."
"You don't know that for a fact."
"Please, baby. We want to be here for you. You've done so much for us."
Jay blushed and tugged on the blanket. "Yeah, well."
"Well nothing. It's true."
"Believe me when I tell you that it wasn't any big thing."
"I don't know how to convince you that it was. I guess that I'll have to dedicate my life to reminding you every single day how much we owe you."
"That's quite all right. I accept your thanks and will work on being a better patient," Jay answered quickly.
"Good because you're stuck with us in your life."
Smiling tiredly, Jay whispered. "I guess I can live with that."
"Do me a favor? The next time you're feeling impulsive and self-destructive, you'll pause for just a moment and think about how much I love you and would miss you if you were gone." Susan kissed the startled woman on the lips and stood up. "I'll let you go back to sleep now."
"And how exactly am I to sleep after that?"
"Sweetheart, I was just giving you a reminder that you've got something to live for." Blowing her another kiss, Susan turned and went back downstairs.
Chapter Eighteen - In the Sweet By and By
We shall sing on that beautiful shore
The melodious songs of the blessed;
And our spirits shall sorrow no more,
Not a sigh for the blessing of rest.
Words: Sanford F. Bennett, 1868 Music: Joseph P. Webster
"Where is she?"
"Outside on the patio." Martha flicked her towel over the bowl to keep the biscuits warm and glanced through the window. "She's been there all morning."
"Do you know why?"
"She said she was cold."
"She's always cold," laughed Susan. "I remember how she would always have to bring a sweater and coat when we went anywhere because she was sure to freeze."
"She doesn't seem to be able to warm up at all anymore." Martha picked up the spoon and stirred the Dutch oven. "I don't know how much longer we're going to be able to keep her out of the hot tub."
"Do we have to? I mean, it'll make her happy."
"It could kill her. The hot water would raise her blood pressure and cause dehydration. God only knows if all those bits and pieces inside her are healed enough to handle being cooked."
Susan asked, "Are you serious? It's dangerous?"
"That's why pregnant women aren't supposed to get in them at all."
"What are we going to do?"
"I'll try talking to her," offered Piper. She walked through the French doors and, after taking a deep breath, sat down in the chair next to Jay's chaise lounge.
Hearing the noise, Jay turned her head and looked at the other woman. "What's up?"
"Nothing much."
Jay nodded and closed her eyes again. It seemed like forever since she had been warm and she was trying to absorb as much heat as possible from the pale October sun.
The two of them lounged together for the next hour. During that time, Piper took quick peeks at Jay when she thought the other woman wasn't looking.
"Out with it." Jay finally spoke.
"What are you talking about?"
"You're as jumpy as a virgin at a sex party. I don't know how I'm supposed to get any rest with your fidgeting."
"Um."
"Spit out whatever's got your panties in a wad."
"I just wanted to know, uh."
Jay turned her head and glared at her. "What?"
"Do you want a blanket?"
"What?"
"I'll bring you one."
"Excuse me?"
"It'll be no problem."
"I can't believe that all that hemming and hawing was over a blanket."
"Well, yeah."
Jay stared at her with a furrowed brow. "Whatever. I'm fine."
"Good."
"Why is that good?"
"Because if you don't want a blanket, you probably don't want to take a dip."
"Go swimming? No way, it's too cold."
"I meant the hot tub."
"That's a given. I'd give my firstborn to be able to soak again but I know that it would be a bad idea."
"You're telling me."
"That's right. I am. Now, why don't you tell me what this is all about?"
"I'm sorry?"
"You're going to be." Jay raised her mug of tea. "Don't make me throw this on you. What is going on?"
"We were just a little worried about you."
"You were concerned about me?" Jay waited for Piper to nod. "So, you came out and saw me perfectly relaxed and you thought that the best thing for my health was to piss me off. Do I have that right?"
"I didn't mean to cause you any stress."
"I see."
"Do you?"
"Not really. I'm just humoring you."
"How are you, really?"
"I'm as good as I can be based on current conditions."
"That's good."
Jay lay back down and closed her eyes. After a few minutes and several heartfelt sighs from Piper later, she burst out, "Now what?"
"Are you, uh, are you mad at me?"
"Now or in general?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, right now I'm starting to be a little irritated that you're bugging me. I'm not really mad, though."
"What about the whole getting shot thing?"
"Did you shoot me?"
Piper shook her head in response. "You know I didn't."
"Then why would I be mad at you?"
"Because you wouldn't have been out there if I hadn't gotten into it with Doris."
"Remind me later to ask you about that."
"Please don't. I don't think anything you could say would be half as bad as what I'm saying to myself."
"Well, I'm not usually one to refrain from kicking folks when they're down but you plead so nicely." Jay smiled. "Do you need me to be mad at you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I thought that maybe you're feeling guilty and it could resolve some of that guilt if I were to vent on you."
"Maybe."
"Not going to happen."
"Really? Why not? I'm sure I'd be ready to kill if I'd been through what you've had to."
"That's one of our differences, Piper. All my anger went into surviving."
"But you were? Right?"
"Of course. I'm no saint. I was mad enough to kill when those animals went after Doris. And they all died at my hands. I was furious that my own weapon fired the arrow that nearly killed me. I'm not really ready to die and I was pissed that it looked like I would." Jay sighed. "I'm not mad at you or at Doris. I don't blame you for what happened."
"Why not?" Piper's voice cracked. "You could have died."
"But I didn't.
"But you could have."
"Look, we're going around in circles here. Yes, I could have died. I also could have died anytime in the last five years before you came here and you wouldn't have been any more responsible for my death than you are now." Sitting up, Jay looked earnestly at Piper. "You know, I told Susan before we left that I wouldn't be held responsible if Doris died while we were gone. And it doesn't matter how much we disagree, when those guys started on her, all I could think of was how to get both of us out of there alive. That was what mattered. And that's what matters now."
Martha walked out onto the patio. "What matters?"
"We all do."
Confused, she just sat at the end of Jay's chaise lounge. "Of course we do," she said, nodding sagely. "What are your plans for the rest of today?"
"Not much. We seem to be on target with the wood pile."
"Yep and we've put up the buck Cody brought down the other day." She yawned. "The freezer is pretty full."
"What did he use?"
"The .270."
"How are you doing for ammunition?"
"We've still got some but it is getting low."
Jay hummed to herself before she began to wiggle her feet.
Raising her eyebrow, Martha asked, "What're you thinking?"
Grinning, Jay answered, "I've just had an idea."
"Well, stow it for a bit," Susan interrupted. "I came out here to bring everyone in. It's lunch time."
Making faces at each other, the three women followed her into the house and sat at their usual places at the table. Doris and the children were already in their seats.
Jay grinned when Susan set a plate of real food down in front of her. "What? No more broth?"
"I figure that it's about time we started to do things that will stimulate your appetite."
"Well, my stomach and I appreciate it." She began slowly, lifting a forkful of the seasoned meat to her nose. Rolling her eyes in ecstasy, she shoveled the bite into her mouth. "Oh, man. This is good."
Laughing at her obvious enjoyment, the others dug into their own plates of venison stew.
Piper wiped her mouth and asked, "So, what was your idea?"
"It might be time to go back to the basics."
"What do you mean?"
"Y'all haven't done much with bow and arrows, right?"
Piper scratched her chin. "I think I'm the only one who's ever shot one."
"Then it would be good idea to conduct some archery training for the kids."
"That's a good idea for all of us." Martha opened another biscuit. "I know I could use some help."
"Excellent."
"How do you want to go about it?"
"I've got a target sheet somewhere downstairs that we can lay over one of the wood piles to give everyone something to aim at."
"I don't want to waste any of my arrows," interjected Piper. "They're not going to last long being fired into logs."
"No worries there. I've got supplies."
"Like what?"
"I've got a twenty and fifty pound bows and a bunch of training arrows." Jay drank deeply from her glass of water. "The tips aren't especially sharp and some of the arrows themselves may not be entirely straight but it will be enough to get everyone started."
"That sounds good."
"It sounds boring," Cody muttered.
"What's boring about it?"
"Standing around and shooting at the wood pile."
"Didn't you learn how to shoot your rifle by going to the target range and standing around there shooting round after round into paper targets?"
"Yeah but that was different."
"Not really. If you don't practice, you'll never be able to bring dinner down."
"Why can't I just use the rifle?"
"One day, and that day may come sooner than you think, there will be no more cartridges. Unless you want to chase the deer down and club it with your rifle, you'll need to something else in your arsenal."
"Won't the arrows run out?"
"Well, we can go out and pick up those that miss and we can always make more when our current batch runs out. The Indians didn't have a Wal-Mart they could run to and they did pretty well for themselves."
"Until the people with rifles exterminated them."
Susan laughed. "Boy, are you in a mood today. Who pissed in your cornflakes?"
"Nobody. I just want to do something more fun."
"Once you've mastered a stationary target, I've also got a graduated series of hoops for you to use."
Cody asked, "What for?"
"It's how the Native American's taught the braves to shoot. It's like skeet shooting for bows. You work on shooting an arrow through a hoop somebody's sent rolling across the lawn."