In the Stars (33 page)

He pushes his thickness against me, and, even through his pants, and mine, the sensation is overwhelming. “Is this what you want, Caroline? Is this what you need from me?”

“Please Eric; yes exactly that, more than anything.” He leans down and lightly bites my nipple through my shirt, and my back arches up off the bed as I grab hold of his ass. His mouth is back on mine as I start to slide my hand from behind between his legs to grasp his hardness, when he jerks up suddenly off the bed and away from me.

I lay there, panting and confused. Eric reaches down, adjusting himself in his jeans, and looks down at me with a new crazed look in his eyes. I sit up on my elbows, looking at him. “Eric, what are you doing?”

“I always find it hard to walk away from you, Caroline; especially now that I have had a taste of you. Today, right now, though, you have me so pissed off and confused that is exactly what I am going to do. I have never wanted to give myself fully to anyone. You, for some reason, have me wanting more for the first time ever. You, on the other hand, obviously just want my dick more than anything; as you said. So, obviously, for once I can’t do this. I don’t want to just fuck you, Caroline; I want to own you and you own me.”

He opens my door and walks out of my room without looking back. I am stunned silent and frozen for a moment, before I realize I have to stop him. This is why I have felt so out of control around Eric all along. It never was just lust; it was meant to happen. My heart knew it, but my mind just didn’t want to understand. He wants more from me; he wants to own me, and I want it all from Eric too. Somehow, without even realizing it fully, I fell in love with Eric.

I scramble off the bed and run down the hall. Everyone is standing around the island, and the front door is wide open. I go to step out, when I see Eric’s truck speeding away from the house. I turn back, shutting the door and rest my back against it, sliding down to the floor.

Raleigh and Tara come walking over and kneeling down in front of me. I look up through my lashes, and realize my fingers are touching my lips where I can still feel Eric’s kiss. Tears start to build up in my eyes, and they both reach in and wrap an arm around me.

I pop up again, suddenly, and run toward my room to get my phone.

My hands are shaking, and I can’t make them work right trying to pull up Eric’s name under my contacts. A hand reaches out and takes my phone. I look up through my tears, and see a blurry Adam standing in front of me working his fingers across the screen. He reaches out, placing the phone to my ear and gives me a weak smile.

I hear the phone ring two times, and then I am sent into Eric’s voicemail. I pull it away from my ear, and look back at Adam. “You want me to try again, Caroline?” All I can do is nod as he takes his fingers back across my screen, placing it back onto my ear. It goes straight into Eric’s voicemail this time, and my voice is shaky as I speak. “Eric, please, you didn’t give me a chance to explain my words. They were just in the moment. I want so much more from you then I can begin to tell you on here. The thing is, whether I realized it or not, you already do own me.” I hang up and drop to the edge of my bed, and let the phone fall beside me.

I look toward my door, and Tara is now standing behind Adam with her hand on his shoulder. Raleigh and Sam are standing side by side in my doorway. Sam speaks up as he walks over toward me. “So sorry things turned out like this today, Caroline. Just know I’m here for you, ok? I’m headed out now, but know that anytime, for anything all you have to do is call.” I give Sam, and then Adam, a weak hug, and they walk out to leave.

Tara and Raleigh both come to sit down beside me on the bed. “I guess I now have a better understanding for Eric’s complete he’s an ass moment today. It wasn’t really about his love for me, Caroline; it was because of his love for you. Unfortunately, he has no idea what to do with it—obviously. He is scared of the unknown, Caroline, just like you are.” I look up at Tara and Raleigh, and they each reach up with a tissue, dabbing the tears from my eyes.

“I just realized it myself. That is what has been wrong with me—I love Eric. I have never fully been in love with a man before, and I guess I was scared to realize what was really happening. Now he just thinks all I cared about was a good time in the sack with him, and he won’t even answer my calls.”

Raleigh stands from the bed and reaches out for my hand. “He is going to need time, Caroline; to face what he must have just admitted to you. Like Tara said, you are both scared in a way. This is something new for both of you, and it will work its way out. Now, I know this really sucks, but if you can handle it you need to get up and showered for work tonight. You only have one hour left to get there.”

I CALLED IN sick for the second time ever that night—almost two weeks ago. I spent that evening lying out under the stars in the cold night air again. Tara gave me a sleeping bag and blanket to help this time, as I listened to my IPod, looking up in the stars for an answer. This time, once again, I saw them as so much more than just a mass in the sky. It was like the way I felt about them when I was a kid, looking at the stars with my Daddy. I listened to Grace Potter singing ~Stars in my ears as I begged and prayed to my Dad once again to help me understand what I needed to do.

I haven’t talked to Eric since that day he walked out of my room. My lawyer told me that Eric had spoken with him about my case, and had been a big help.

Although court hasn’t started yet, we are all pretty confident that, with the knife and rope found on Scott and the witnesses that saw me trying to escape him as he punched me, that he will be found guilty.

Today, Tara is at her parents again for one of their Sunday get togethers. She hates me staying home alone moping, as she puts it, and, even though she begged, I couldn’t bring myself to go with her. I knew Eric would be there, and to have him ignore me face to face would hurt more than I could handle.

I walk into my room with my arms full of clean laundry. I put my IPod on my docking station and start folding clothes at the end of my bed. Van Morrison’s ~ Into The Mystic starts playing. I straighten and start swaying my hips, deciding this feels a lot better than the permanent slump my shoulders seem to hold lately.

As I’m swaying and folding, I suddenly get this feeling that I’m not alone, and I look back to see Eric standing behind me. My hand goes up to my mouth, and my legs suddenly feel very unstable. Eric takes a step toward me and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me gently into him. I remove my hand from my mouth, and they are both shaking immensely as I raise them up and around his neck.

He is looking right into my eyes, and his have a look of sorrow and uncertainty in them. I can’t stop staring at him and breathing him in, praying inside that he is real. The fear is there that any second he is going to disappear again. Eric starts to sway from side to side, tightening his grip on my lower back.

“Caroline, please forgive me and my stubbornness. I knew this is where I should be every day; here with you in my arms. My head has been on such a mind fuck world wind the last two weeks. I need you Caroline. I have never said that to a woman before. It took me long enough, but I know that is what I should have been telling you all along. I need you, I want you, and, as crazy as it might sound, I love you.”

A gasp escapes my mouth right before he leans in to press his lips to mine. My grip gets tighter around the back of his neck. The tingling of my insides that Eric’s presence gives me starts running full force through my whole body as his lips move against mine. Our mouths part, and as soon as our tongues meet my body outwardly starts trembling all over. I am so happy and somehow intensely nervous at this moment that I can’t make it stop.

He gently lifts me and lies me down on my bed. He pulls back from our kiss and leans over me brushing my hair away from my neck. “God Caroline, I have needed this with you, from you, for so long. You are trembling all over—why, are you ok?”

I reach up and lightly trace his jaw line and back up his cheek with my fingertip. “I am more than ok, Eric. Don’t you dare stop now. It’s just… I love you too. I have never felt as out of control as I do with you—reason being is this was meant to be. You and I, we were written in the stars way before we ever even knew the other existed. I’m no longer in control of me, because I belong to you. Make love to me, Eric.”

Eric leans into my body and puts his lips to mine as he speaks. “You have no idea what hearing you say that does to me, Caroline.”

I can feel his hard erection through his pants, and I reach my hand down gripping him through the material. “I think I do know, Eric, and I feel the same way.” I can feel and hear his growl run up his chest and through his throat as he grasps the elastic of my pants and panties at the same time, pulling them down.

He leans back on his heals as he tugs them off my feet and drops them to the floor. His eyes roam from my toes up slowly taking me in. I can see them darkening as his eyes finally reach back to mine. “So fucking amazing Caroline; god you are beautiful.” I am already breathing heavy, and I feel the warmth of my arousal building up below as my hips start to rock slowly on their own.

Eric has a very sexy and satisfied smile on his face as his hands start to slowly caress up the inside of my calves, past my knees, up my inner thighs, and stop right at the outer edges of my sex. His thumbs rub a few slow circles, but he never touches where my body is aching for him to go. I let out a slight whimper of protest as his hands start to caress up further over my hips and under the bottom seam of my shirt. “Shhh Caroline, I promise you we will get there just let me take my time and drink you all in. I have been waiting for this moment for too long to rush through it.”

Eric’s fingers grab the bottom of my shirt, and I rise up and lift my hands over my head as he slowly and torturously raises it over my head. As he is pulling it up past my arms he leans in, and the sensation of his warm moist lips wrapping around my nipple has me almost coming apart right then and there. Every touch, every sensation this man brings me is better than and more than anything I’ve ever had before.

He releases my nipple, and finally finishes removing my shirt fully. As soon as my arms are free, I reach out and grab for his shirt, lifting as he reaches his arms up to help me. I have to rise higher on my knees in order to pull it fully off of his arms. As soon as I drop it, Eric’s mouth is back on my breast again as both his hands grab and massage over them. My hands fall to his back as I dig my nails in. I can already feel the tingling sensation in my head building stronger just from his hands and mouth on my breast, and he hasn’t even touched my core yet. He releases my nipple from his mouth and I slide back down his body.

I need to kiss him, touch him, and feel every part of him on me and in me. The need and want I feel is so over powering it is almost strangling. I kiss and nibble at his ear then around his jaw line back to his lips. I can feel in his kiss that he is just as hungry for me as I am for him.

I pull my lips away, and reach down for the button of his jeans. “I need to feel you, Eric. I want you in my hand, in my body, and I want all of you now.” He reaches down, helping me with the zipper, and as soon as his penis springs free my hand is on him as my fingers try their best to wrap all the way around. He is so thick; I can’t get my fingers even close to touching together. Eric’s eyes roll back slightly as my grip tightens and I start rubbing down then back up again. I lick my lips at the sight of his pre-cum on the tip. He pulls away from me quickly, reaching into his pocket, and then pulling his pants the rest of the way off.

He reaches his hand between my legs and rubs his fingers across the inside of my folds. As soon as my head falls back he has two fingers inside of me, moving in and out. Raspy loud moans start escaping my lips as Eric fingers me. I reach down, grabbing back a hold of him and working his length from tip to base. “You are more desirable to look at and feel than I even imagined possible, Caroline. Your hand feels so good on me; I can’t even imagine how good it is going to feel when I am inside you. So damn wet and hot. I can feel you tightening around my fingers.”

Eric lies me back down, and I lose my grip on him as he retreats his fingers from me as well. “Please Eric, I want you, I need you so badly.” I have never begged so much before, but I will do it nonstop if that is what it takes to get this man I love to take me, all of me and give me all of him in return.

“I need you too, Caroline, but I need to savor you.” He kisses me on my lips again. Then his lips start to retreat back down my body. As soon as his lips reach my hip bone, my body bucks up in the air. When his fingers spread my folds open and his tongue swipes across my clit all my thoughts turn into a complete haze of pure bliss. He takes his tongue and pushes into my core and pulls it back out, licking across my clit again. As soon as his tongue goes in to do it a second time, my body starts convulsing with the intensity of the orgasm that is running through me.

I can’t even think straight as Eric rises quickly ripping open the condom in his hand quickly rolling it on. I feel the head of him rub at my core again, and I am still vibrating all over as he slowly pushes in me. I can feel my body trying to open enough to take him all in as he pulls back again and pushes back in a little harder and further. He repeats this a couple of more times before my body is able to fully take him in, and once he is fully there he starts to thrust his hips wildly.