In The Still of the Night [The Protectors 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) (23 page)

“I still think you’re a damn fool.”

Riley couldn’t agree with him more, but he had her best interests at heart. If only he could get his heart to agree. Some days he wondered if he would make it until quitting time. Some nights, he lay awake all night thinking about her. There were nights he drank himself into a stupor just to get some rest. When he wasn’t in an alcohol-induced coma, he dreamed about her, erotic dreams that left him hard and hot and hurting. Then, during the days, he worked himself to exhaustion. Aching muscles and weary beyond belief but still he couldn’t get her out of his mind.

“Do you feel like pulling some overtime, Riley?” The foreman for the job he was on walked up to him.

“Yeah, what do you need?” He wiped the sweat from his brow with one arm.

“I’ve got a job over on Tenth Avenue that needs to be finished by the end of the month. Everything is inside, and there’s electricity so you can work as late as you want. I’ve got two others on working it with you,” he said.

“I’m in. Why’d you ask me? I’m not your regular crew.”

“You’re the hardest working son-of-a-bitch I have working for me right now. I need that to get this job done.”

Riley nodded and continued working on his section of wall. The overtime would be good for his pocket and even better for possibly getting some sleep from exhaustion. He’d work all the overtime they wanted if it meant a decent night’s rest. Somehow he doubted it would be enough. What he wouldn’t give to see her one more time, just a glimpse to see him through another few days.

* * * *

Jenna made hot chocolate for her and Tina after they got back from shopping Saturday afternoon. Fall was in full swing, and winter not that far away. The chilly air left both of them cold with rosy red cheeks and chapped lips. The hot chocolate would hit the spot, Jenna was sure. She stirred the warming milk one last time then poured it into the two mugs. Tina dropped in spoons and stirred while Jenna set the boiler aside.

“When are you going to tell him, Jenna?”

“Tell who what?” she asked with her heart in her throat.

“Riley. Logan can get in touch with him for you. He deserves to know.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She swallowed and held her mug with both hands, blowing on the steaming liquid with abject concentration.

“Don’t lie to me. You’re pregnant. How long did you think you could keep it a secret?” Tina asked.

Jenna sighed and set the mug down on the counter. She brushed a stray wisp out of her face. She had hoped to keep it a secret a little while longer. She wanted to hold it close to her. Her little secret.

“I need a little more time, Tina. Just give me a little more time,” she pleaded.

“You are going to tell him, aren’t you?”

“Yes, just not yet. Don’t say anything to Logan, all right? He’ll call him if you do.”

“I don’t like keeping things from him,” Tina said.

“Then pretend you don’t know yet. I’ll tell you in a couple more days.” Jenna was desperate for a little more time.

“Very funny.” Tina sighed. “Look, the other thing is you need to see a doctor. You’re not eating, and you’ve lost a lot of weight. That can’t be good for you or the baby.”

“I’m taking prenatal vitamins. Once I get my appetite back, I’ll gain weight soon enough. I’m still having morning sickness.”

“How far along are you?” Tina asked.

“Three months,” Jenna said.

“I know you were on birth control, so it must have been all the antibiotics you were on after getting out of the hospital.” Tina smiled and hugged her. “Accidents happen. It will be fine. You know I’m going to be the best aunt ever.”

“I’m doomed,” Jenna groused then leaned on the counter and took a sip of her hot chocolate. “I’m worried about what he’s going to say.”

“He’ll be happy. Shocked, but then I’m sure you were, too.”

“Yeah.” She let out a breath. “I’m not sorry. I want the baby. It’s a part of him, and if I can’t have him, I’ll have a little part of him.”

“Jenna. He’s going to want to settle down with you and take care of you.” Tina touched her arm to get her attention.

“I don’t want him to. He won’t be happy sitting in one place for long. I know that. He’d grow to resent me and the baby. I couldn’t stand that, Tina. It’s better if he just lives his life, and we’ll live ours. He can visit any time he wants to. I’d never keep his child from him, but I know better than to wish for a happy ever after.”

“Oh, Jenna. You don’t know that. Sometimes it takes something like this to make a man realize just how much he wants to settle down. Give him a chance at least.”

“We’ll work it out, Tina. Let us work it out.”

“At least go ahead and make an appointment with a doctor now. You can schedule it for next week sometime. I’d just feel better knowing you had an appointment.”

Jenna shook her head and grinned at her friend. Friend, hell, bulldog was more like it, she thought to herself.

“Fine, I’ll make one for the end of next week if they can fit me in that soon.”

“Tell them you’re three months pregnant and having trouble maintaining your weight. That will get you in quick,” Tina said.

“You’re sneaky.”

“I’m worried.”

Chapter Seventeen

Riley pulled into Logan’s drive a little after three on Friday afternoon. He planned to talk to Logan about Jenna before he actually went over to see her. He wanted to make sure she wasn’t seeing anyone else before he dropped in out of the blue and asked her to forgive him and give him another chance.

He’d spent three damn months trying to live without her before realizing he couldn’t. If she wasn’t already involved with someone else, he wanted another shot at making her happy. He’d find a job and do everything in his power to take care of her. He wanted to hold her right now more than anything, but first he needed to be sure she was still free. If she wasn’t? Well, he didn’t want to think about that.

He knocked on the door and waited. He knew Tina wouldn’t be home from work yet, so it was the perfect time to gather information and plan his attack.

Logan answered the door with a raised eyebrow.

“Where in the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to call you for the last three days.” He pulled his buddy inside and hugged him.

Riley grimaced and pulled away. What in the hell was up with Logan?

“What’s up? I’ve been on the road on my way here.”

“Jenna’s at the doctor’s,” Logan blurted out.

Riley felt his heart sink. Something was seriously wrong with her. He should have come back sooner.

“What’s wrong with her? Is she okay?” He grabbed for the door. “Where is she?”

“Whoa,” Logan said, pushing the door closed. “You’re going to have to talk to Jenna about that, but she’s okay.”

“What in the hell did you scare me for if she’s okay?” Riley dropped his hand from the door knob.

“Just aggravated that you didn’t answer your damn cell phone.”

“Well, hell. I’m not Tina and at your beck and call.”

Logan burst out laughing. Riley eyed him with a frown. What was up with him?

“How about some coffee while we wait on the girls to get back?”

“Good, Tina is with her.” Riley relaxed some.

Tina being with her meant she wasn’t alone, and that was good.

“Yeah, coffee would be great,” he said.

“You’re looking a little worse for wear. You look road hard and put up wet,” Logan observed.

“Yeah, screw you. How is she really? Is she, ah, seeing anyone?” Riley asked, not looking at his buddy.

“She’s okay. She’s lost a lot of weight and has been sick, but she’s going to be fine.” Logan finished setting up the coffee pot and turned around. “And no, she’s not seeing anyone. Does this mean you’re thinking about sticking around for awhile this time?”

“If she’ll have me, I’m planning on asking her if she’ll let me stay permanently.”

“You’re going to ask her to marry you?” Logan asked, crossing his arms.

“Well, not right away. I, ah, wanted to have a job and all first.”

Hell, he didn’t want to have a conversation like this with Logan. Trust his friend to cut to the chase.

“I think you need to re-think that part.”

“What part? Asking her to marry me? Why? Do you think she’ll say no?”

“No, I mean I think you ought to ask her now.”

“What’s going on, Riley? Is she or isn’t she okay?”

Logan huffed out a breath.

“Fuck. She’s pregnant, Riley.”

Riley took a step back as if Logan had delivered a physical blow. Pregnant? She was pregnant?

“You’re sure?”

“That’s why she’s at the doctor’s. She hasn’t been able to keep anything down and has lost a lot of weight.”

“Why hasn’t she told me before now? She has to be at least three months. I’ve been gone that long.” Riley’s world tilted at the news.

“She just told us. I think she’s been in shock. That’s why I’ve been trying to call you. She wanted to talk to you,” Logan said.

“Oh, hell. What am I going to do? I don’t have a job to take care of her.”

“She has a job. Right now, what she needs is your support, man.”

A car pulled into the drive. Riley looked over at Logan with a sinking feeling. They were back, and he didn’t have a clue what to say to Jenna. He waited for them to come in. They sat in the car for a long time. He realized that Jenna would have noticed his bike in the drive. She didn’t want to come in. That thought hurt.

Finally, he heard the car doors close, first one and then the other. Logan patted him on the shoulder and handed him a cup of coffee. When the door opened, Tina entered first. She stood aside, and Jenna walked in.

He almost wouldn’t have recognized her. She’d lost a lot of weight. Her clothes sagged on her, and there were deep shadows under her eyes. He couldn’t keep his gaze from dropping to her belly where his child would be. When he raised his eyes to meet hers, there were tears in them. She turned toward Logan and shot him a dirty look.

“You told him.”

* * * *

Jenna knew the moment his eyes dropped to her abdomen that Logan had told him she was pregnant. Now she would never know how he really felt about her. He looked stricken. Of course he would be shocked. Appalled maybe? Dear God, what would she do if he asked her to marry him now?

“Logan, why did you?” Tina asked quietly.

“He was making himself crazy thinking there was something seriously wrong with Jenna. I had to tell him something.” Logan crossed over to Jenna and hugged her. “Aw, hell, Jenna. I’m sorry. It should have come from you.”

“It’s okay.” Only it wasn’t.

“I think Riley and I have some things to discuss. Maybe we should leave now.” Jenna avoided Riley’s eyes. “That is if Riley will give me a lift home.”

“Is it safe for you to ride a bike?” he blurted out.

“Yeah, it’s safe.” She almost smiled at that.

“Let’s go then.” He walked across the room then seemed to remember he had a cup of coffee and handed it back to Logan.

Logan chuckled, and it earned him a scathing look. Jenna rolled her lips inward to keep from grinning. Then she sobered. They had a lot of serious ground to cover.

“Jenna, call me later, okay?” Tina said.

“Okay.”

Riley opened the door for her and led her to the bike. He pulled out a helmet from the saddle bag and instead of handing it to her, placed it carefully on her head and fastened it for her. Then he climbed on the bike and started it up. Jenna climbed on back and held loosely to his waist.

“Hold on.”

He started off slow and easy then sped up as they left the drive. She realized they were going to have some trouble by the time he finally pulled into her drive long minutes later. He’d driven slow and careful the entire way. He held the bike steady while she climbed off the bike.

Jenna didn’t wait for him. She hurried up to the door and unlocked it. Nerves tickled her spine, and butterflies danced in her stomach. She could almost attribute it to the baby but decided it was all her discomfort now that Riley was actually there in her house.

“Um, can I fix you something to drink?” she asked once he’d closed the door behind him.

“No, thanks. Do you need something? Go ahead and fix yourself whatever you need.” He jammed his hands in his pockets as if he didn’t know what to do with them.

This wasn’t like Riley at all. She was used to his self-assured attitude. The fact that she was pregnant had floored him obviously. Maybe they should put off this talk until he had time to process it and what he wanted to do. There was no doubt what she was going to do. She was having the baby, and if he wanted to be a part of it, that was fine.

“How far along are you?” he finally asked.

“The doctor said fourteen to fifteen weeks.”

“What did he say about your weight loss?” Riley took a step forward, pulling his hands out of his pocket.

“I need to gain a little before my next visit,” she hedged.

“Somehow I expect that’s not exactly what he said.”

Jenna glimpsed the old Riley she was used to now. She much preferred this Riley.

“You’ve lost way too much weight, Jenna. It can’t be healthy.”

“I’ll start gaining again. I need to get past the morning sickness is all.”

As if suddenly realizing she was standing up, he walked over to her and touched her voluntarily for the first time. His hand took her arm and pulled her toward the couch.

“You need to sit down.”

Jenna suppressed a smile but did what he said. Why was he back? It suddenly occurred to her that Logan hadn’t been able to get in touch with him, but he was there.

“Why did you come back, Riley?” she asked.

“I couldn’t stay away.” He took a deep breath. “I came back to ask you to marry me.”

Jenna burst out crying. This was exactly what she had been afraid of.

“What’s wrong?” Riley patted her shoulder, a desperate look on his face.

“It’s just hormones,” she managed around sobs. “I cry at the drop of a hat now.”

“No, you started crying because I asked you to marry me,” Riley said.

“You only did it because I’m pregnant. I won’t marry you like this.” Jenna swallowed and attempted to control the tears.

Riley jumped up and grabbed a box of tissues and handed them to her. He paced for a few seconds then turned around to face her.

“That is why I came back, but I can see where you wouldn’t believe me with the way I left you and all.”

“You can be a part of the baby’s life and even live here if you want to, but I won’t marry you just because I’m pregnant. I don’t think you would have asked me otherwise.”

“Baby, I’ve missed you so much and regret ever leaving you. I thought I was doing what was best for you. I know now I was wrong. I can’t live without you.”

“I wish I could believe you, Riley, but I just can’t. Maybe after the baby’s born, if you are still around, we can talk about it again.” She swallowed and stood up.

She needed something to drink. Her mouth was dry, and the tears had drained her. If he wanted to stay, she wouldn’t be able to resist him if he pushed it. She’d be back in bed with him in a New York second. She loved him, but she wouldn’t marry him.

“What do you need? I’ll get it for you,” he said.

“I can get it. I just want something to drink. Then I need a nap. I’m tired, Riley.”

“I’ll get you something to drink. Go lie down.” He was already walking toward the kitchen.

Jenna closed her eyes for a second and shook her head. He would be bossy, maybe even bossier than he had been before. And she loved him for it.

* * * *

Riley opened the refrigerator door and sighed. There was a half gallon of milk, a pitcher of water, and some cheese and butter, but that was all. No wonder she had lost weight. There was nothing to eat. He didn’t know much about pregnancy, but he knew she needed fresh fruit and vegetables. He checked the milk and finding it good, poured a glass. He carried it to the bedroom where Jenna lay stretched out on the bed on her side.