In Too Deep (10 page)

Josh froze. Even though his mind told him to move, his body wouldn’t obey. Two hands grabbed his shoulders and shoved him away. Instinctively he rolled, just as he did when he bailed off his skateboard. As he tumbled, he heard a sickening thud, followed by two loud bangs and the explosive sound of shattering glass. The car tyres were still screeching. The noise was so loud that it hurt his ears and he covered them with his hands as he rolled.

Then all was quiet. He wondered if he was dead. Perhaps the car had run him over while he was down and he hadn’t felt it because he’d died. He lay there on the road with his eyes closed, too scared to open them, and took his hands away from his ears. He could hear the tick-tick sound of a hot engine, and a voice saying over and over, “Oh, shit! Oh, shit!”

Josh moved carefully. He was still breathing. He was able to think. His limbs moved when he commanded them. He was sore where he’d hit the road, but he was alive. He opened his eyes, turned over and looked at the car. It had travelled past him and he was now looking at the side door. He could see the driver inside, still clasping the wheel as Josh had seen him doing seconds earlier. He was staring straight ahead through a shattered windscreen and it was him that was swearing.

“Hayden,” Josh called as he got to his feet. He couldn’t see him. “Hayden!” he yelled again, wiping the gravel from the palms of his hands. People were starting to appear and they were all looking at the road in front of the car. Josh moved so that he could see what they were looking at.

He gasped. Hayden was lying in a crumbled heap in front of the bumper. Instantly Josh was kneeling beside Hayden, his hands hovering over him, not sure what to do.

“Don’t move him,” someone said.

“Do something!” he cried.

“Someone’s gone to the surf club,” a male voice said from behind. “Do you know him?”

“Yes, it’s Hayden. He’s my friend.”

“He pushed you out of the way.” The voice continued. “I saw it.”

“I was stupid,” Josh said. “I didn’t look. The car was going to hit me.”

“It hit him instead.” The man came to stand alongside him. “His head hit the windscreen,” he added.

“Is he going to die?” Josh looked desperately for signs of breathing, but he couldn’t see Hayden’s chest moving. There was blood on Hayden’s shirt and when he looked down at Hayden’s legs he saw that one was bent at an odd angle. Blood flowed into Hayden’s hair from a deep gash on his forehead.

Josh stood up. Panic was rising in his chest. He had to get away.

“His mother,” he said. “I have to get his mother.”

“Wait,” the man called, but Josh was gone.

He ran down the road, ignoring the ache in his head, the stiffness in his hip and the stinging in his grazed hands. The agent’s car was in his drive and he ran around it, making for the bach next door where he flew up the steps to the front door and pounded on the wood.

“Josh!” Penny said as she opened the door. “What’s the matter?”

“Hayden,” he panted. “He’s been hit … by a car.”

Josh remembered then that Hayden had described his mother as being as fragile as an ice cream cone. He’d been right. Before his eyes, she crumbled, waving her hand before her face as if to ward off the bad news then, before he could offer help, she stood up straight and visibly braced herself.

“Where?” she asked.

“By the library,” he gasped. “He pushed me … it should have hit me … he …” He realised that he was rambling and stopped.

“We’ll take the car,” she said as she turned and grabbed a set of keys from a shelf at the door. “Come on, show me where.”

He got in the passenger side, relieved that he wasn’t the one making the decisions. He tried to slow down his gasping breaths as they sped off down the road. He was beginning to feel light-headed. Maybe he should have let Hayden’s mother go by herself and gone back home to lie down, but he had to know how Hayden was. As they rounded the corner, he saw that a crowd had now gathered. Someone was directing traffic around the scene.

Penny pulled up and jumped out of the car, running towards the crowd, and Josh followed her as she made her way through.

“Oh, no!” she cried when she got to the front. “Hayden!” She crouched down beside him.

Hayden lay where he had fallen, with a blanket over him. Someone from First Response was at his head putting on a neck brace. A quad bike from the surf club was parked close by. The driver of the car was now out on the road and Chris was talking to him, but when Chris saw Josh he left the driver and came over to him. His expression was grim.

“You left the scene of an accident.”

“I went to get his mother.”

“You should leave that to the emergency services.”

“Is he going to be alright?” Josh asked.

“We won’t know how he is until they get him to the hospital. I’ve called for the rescue chopper. It should be here soon.”

“It’s all my fault,” Josh said.

“Witnesses say that you stepped in front in the car and that he pushed you out of the way. Is that true?”

“Yes. I just didn’t look. I think he tried to stop me.”

Josh felt hot tears running down his face. He started to shiver even though the day was not cold.

“I think you need looking at too,” Chris said.

“I’m alright.”

“No, you’re going into shock and you’re bleeding.”

Josh looked down at his arm. Blood was flowing from an open wound on his elbow. He hadn’t noticed it before.

“Go and sit on the grass.” Chris turned and took another blanket from the quad bike and draped it over Josh’s shoulders before leading him to the side of the road.

“I’ll send someone to fetch your father,” Chris said.

As Chris turned to talk into his radio, Josh heard a siren from the top of the hill – an ambulance, or police, or both? He drew the blanket closer around him. In spite of the summer heat, he felt very cold. Chris stayed close to him and Josh didn’t know if that was to comfort him or prevent him from running away again.

The rescue helicopter burst into view from over the hill and headed for a landing in the Domain.

At that point Josh closed his eyes and tried to convince himself that it was all a horrible dream.

Josh sat on the sofa, staring at the opposite wall without seeing it. His father was in the kitchen, boiling the kettle again. A plastic bottle of milk stood on the bench.

His father had arrived just as the helicopter landed in the Piha Domain. When the helicopter had left with Hayden and his mother on board, the ambulance officers had taken Josh to the back of the ambulance to check him out. They put dressings on his grazes and examined him for other injuries. Then his father drove them back to the bach in Penny’s car, which was now parked in their driveway, a reminder that it hadn’t been a dream.

His father walked over with a mug in his hand and put it down beside Josh who reached for it before noticing how badly his hand was trembling. The blanket around his shoulders slipped a little and his father pulled it back up. Josh held the cup in both hands and the liquid in it quivered like there was an earthquake under it. He took a sip of the hot sweet liquid and took a shuddering breath. He could feel the warmth travel down his gullet.

A police car pulled up alongside Penny’s car and a policeman got out. His father went to the door to let him in.

“Do you want a coffee?” he asked him as the man entered and took off his hat.

“No, thank you. I’ll just have a quick word with Josh.”

He sat down in an armchair and pulled out a notebook and pen.

“Good to see you again, Josh.” It was the same policeman who had been first on the scene after Bevan had beaten him up. “Constable Woodward,” the man reminded him.

Josh grunted. He didn’t know if he could speak.

“Do you do the patrols out here?” Josh’s father asked, seeing that Josh couldn’t answer.

“Yes, I’m with the Henderson office, which does patrols out here. It was lucky that we were on the Anawhata Road when the call came through. We caught up with the ambulance just as it got to the top of the hill.” He looked down at his notes and then at Josh. “I’ve got statements from witnesses at the scene, but what can you tell me?”

“It shouldn’t have happened,” Josh said. “It’s all my fault. I didn’t listen. He was trying to tell me, trying to stop me. I wouldn’t listen. Just stupid, stupid, stupid.” The words gushed from his mouth like a broken dam. His hands shook as he spoke and spilled some of the coffee from the cup onto the blanket. Tears again pricked at his eyes.

“Whoa, Josh,” the constable said. “Let’s start this from the beginning. Where were you going?”

Josh took a deep breath and started again. “I was going to the store. Dad sent me to get a bottle of milk.”

“And Hayden was with you?”

“We were walking together. I was in a bad mood. I didn’t want him to come, but he came anyway.”

He had to take a breath. He sipped at the coffee.

“We had an argument. I just wanted to get away. I didn’t hear the car. I think Hayden did. He tried to stop me. He grabbed my arm, but I pulled away. Then I stepped onto the road. There was a car coming straight for me. He pushed me out of the way. It hit … it hit Hayden instead.” The tears were flowing freely now. His father stood up, took the mug from Josh’s hand and placed it on the coffee table in front of him.

“Did the driver try to stop?” the policeman asked.

“Yes, he did. The wheels were squealing, it hurt my ears. But he couldn’t stop in time.”

“He didn’t try to swerve?”

“I don’t know if he could. We both froze, I guess. I couldn’t move. I remember looking straight into his face. That was about when Hayden pushed me. Why’d he do that? He must have known he’d get hit instead.” He was beginning to jabber again.

“I don’t know, Josh,” the constable said. “But that corroborates with what the witnesses saw. The driver of the car admitted that he was going a bit too fast. We have witnesses who estimate he was travelling at over sixty kilometres an hour when he went past the store. He’d come down the hill and when he got to the bottom, he took his foot off the brake and put it on the accelerator. He was going too fast in an area where there are a lot of people crossing. It’s not all your fault, Josh.”

“But if I hadn’t stepped out–”

“If he had been going slower, he might not have hit anyone at all,” Tim interrupted. “He would have been able to stop in time, might have been able to swerve away, might have had time to react.”

“But …” Josh started to say.

“You can’t blame yourself, Josh,” the constable said.

“I didn’t deserve it,” Josh muttered.

“Deserve what?” the constable asked.

“What he did. He asked me to teach him to surf and I didn’t. He just wanted a friend and I ignored him. I wasn’t a good friend at all. I wasn’t a nice person. I shouted at him and I shouldn’t have.” He looked at the policeman but tears blurred his vision. “Is he going to be alright?”

“I haven’t heard yet, Josh, I’m sorry.” The constable said. “Our job is to report on the accident and press charges if necessary.”

“What about the driver?” his father asked.

“They’ve taken him to Henderson to be processed. At this stage he’s being charged with reckless driving causing injury. His licence was in order and the car was fully warranted so there are no other charges at this stage. We’ll have to see how Hayden does. All in all not a good start to New Year’s Eve,” he added ruefully.

He stood up, pulled a card from his pocket and wrote on it. “Here’s my number and I’ve also put down the number for Victim Support. Just phone them if you need someone to talk to.”

He put the card down on the coffee table and turned to face Josh’s father. “Thank you, Mr Talbot. What I’ve got from Josh will do for now, but he’ll have to come into the station to make a full statement. I’ll be in touch.”

“Thank you, Constable,” his father said walking with him to the door.

Josh reached for the cup of coffee and sipped from it. His hands still shook but he needed the warm liquid. Outside he could hear his father talking with the constable, heard his name mentioned and then the police car leave.

His father returned. “The guys from the ambulance said you should rest today and no strenuous physical activity, so I guess that means no surfing. I’ll phone your mum.”

Josh nodded and finished off the tea. He was beginning to feel warmer now. He lay down on the sofa with a cushion under his head and listened as his father explained to his mother what had happened. His father put down the phone and looked over at Josh.

“She’s going to the hospital to see Penny. She’ll phone us back if she hears anything about Hayden.”

“Is she coming back here?”

“No, she made sure that you were okay and said that Penny might need her. She’s going to leave Cyndi there with your nana and see if there’s anything she can do.”

She doesn’t care about us,” Josh said.

“She thinks she would be more useful to Penny. It’s a women thing I think, to go to the aid of another woman in distress. Us men are better keeping out of it. Don’t worry, I’ll look after you, you’ll be all right.”

He ruffled Josh’s hair and, for once, Josh didn’t mind. He smiled. His old man wasn’t so bad after all.

He couldn’t breathe. Water filled his nose and mouth. The leash of his board had snapped; his lifeline had gone. He couldn’t find the surface. He needed air. The light grew brighter and he struck out towards it. His hands found the open space above the water first, and then he burst through. He gulped air into his lungs. Across the water, a short distance away, he saw himself and his face reflected back his fear. Then the next wave took him and pushed him under, and this time he knew he wouldn’t surface. He felt a hand grip his wrist.

“Josh, Josh, wake up, for heaven’s sake.”

His father was staring down at him.

He was on the sofa in the bach. He could breathe. He wasn’t drowning.

He took a deep, shuddering breath and said, “Just a dream.”

“More like a nightmare.” His father released his wrist. “What was it about?”

“I keep dreaming that I’m drowning.”

“Drowning?”

“Yes, I’m in a hole and I can’t get out. It’s horrible.”

“It would be. Are you alright now?” His father looked worried.

“I think so.” His breathing returned to normal. He pushed back the blanket that covered him and, as he sat up, the memory of the accident came back to him. He wished that he could return to the oblivion of sleep.

His father looked like he was about to say something more, when the phone rang.

“Yes, he’s okay,” Josh heard his father say. “He’s been sleeping.” He didn’t mention the dream. “How’s things there?” His father frowned as he listened and Josh became apprehensive as he tried to read his father’s face. “Yes, I’ll tell him. You take care, love

His father looked over at him as he put down the phone.

“That was your mother. She’s phoning from the hospital. Hayden’s got a head injury, a broken leg and a broken rib which has punctured a lung. He’s in theatre. They’re going to put pins in his leg and repair the punctured lung. Your mother’s going to stay with Penny until Hayden comes out. She sends her love.”

“Can’t she come out here?” Josh asked. He knew it was childish, but at that moment he wanted his mother.

“No. Penny’s in such a state that your mother doesn’t want to leave her.”

“She left us,” Josh pointed out.

“For God’s sake, Josh, stop being so damned selfish. The circumstances are different.”

“Why can’t she come back?”

“Josh, I really don’t want to argue. I don’t think you should be getting so stressed out either. They said you had to take it easy.”

Josh felt that the walls were beginning to close in on him. He had to get out. He stood up and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” his father asked anxiously.

“To sit on the dunes and watch the sea.”

“You’re not going anywhere else, just to the dunes?”

“Yes, Dad, don’t worry. I’m not going to do anything stupid. I just need some space.”

“Take your hat,” his father said, holding it out to him.

Josh grabbed it and rammed it on his head as he went out the door onto the deck then across the road and over the sand dunes.

He was hardly aware of the sea conditions and didn’t take note of where the waves were forming or whether the surf was good or bad.

He sat down on the sand, crossed his legs and put his head in his hands. He let the tears come, the tears that he’d tried to keep inside since the accident. He cried not only for Hayden, but the loss of his family stability and the inevitable loss of the bach.

He knew now that there were some things over which he had control, and some over which he had no control. He could control his surfboard in the water, but he couldn’t control his father’s business. He could control the way he treated people, but he couldn’t control his parents’ relationship. He could control his emotions, but he couldn’t stop himself from being hurt. When it came down to it, he could only do something about those things over which he had control. The rest he just had to learn to accept.

Josh eventually ran out of tears and he wiped his face on the sleeve of his T-shirt. He looked out at the sea, noting the conditions for the first time. The weather system in the Tasman was having an effect on it. The waves were higher, the sea lumpy, the wind skimming the top of each wave as it broke.

After watching the sea for a while, he decided it was time to go back inside. He wasn’t in the mood for surfing that day.

He stood up, turned his back on the sea and made his way through the sand dunes. His arm was sore and the side that Bevan had kicked was beginning to throb. He had just reached the pohutukawa tree across the road from the bach when he saw the black convertible pulled into his drive. He stopped and watched as Gina got out of the car, walked to the bach, climbed the steps and halted at the front door. He saw his father come out to meet her and she handed him something.

Josh stepped into the shadows of the pohutukawa tree as she made her way back to the car. Rhys was in the driver’s seat. There was no sign of Bevan. The car pulled out of the drive and headed away from the bach, on the road that would take it out of Piha.

Only when the car was well out of sight did he walk slowly back to the house. His father held an envelope in his hand, which he handed to Josh as he came inside.

“Gina dropped this off,” his father said. “I told her you were out. I didn’t think you wanted to talk to her.”

“No, I didn’t. Thanks Dad.”

He’d told his father earlier that he’d broken up with Gina. He was thankful that his father hadn’t made any comment.

He sat down and opened the envelope. Inside was a single sheet of paper with Gina’s handwriting on it. He could smell her perfume.

‘Dear Josh’
he read.

‘I wanted to talk to you, but when I rang your phone your Dad answered and said that you were out. Rhys is leaving soon to go to town so I’ll drop this off on the way out.

I’m going back into town and I’m not coming back. I can’t stay here anymore. I’m sorry, I need to sort out all this stuff in my head. Please ring me when you get back.

Love Gina

PS: I heard about the accident this morning. I hope Hayden will be okay.’

Josh screwed up the letter and threw it in the rubbish bin.

“What was it?” his father asked.

“Junk mail,” Josh replied, and went to his room. He couldn’t deal with Gina just yet. It would have to wait.