Incandescent (29 page)

“Gotcha,” he says before hanging up. I pocket my phone and head down to the clubhouse. One major shit storm cleared up, now I just have to deal with Addison.

***

“N
o. Fucking. Way,” Beau nudges me to look up as we walk through the doors of Bare Assets the next day. I knew coming here would be hell. The last thing I wanted to do was see this shit, but looking up at the lit up stage, no more than five meters in front of me and seeing my ex-wife climb a pole like there is gold at the top is worse than fucking hell. I had no fucking idea she was doing this.

“Can I get you guys anything special?” A blonde dancer walks up to us as we approach a table wearing nothing more than a thong and a smile.

“Yeah, you can fuckin’ tell Addison, when she’s done shakin’ her ass, I wanna to speak to her,” I tell her, pointing up at the stage as Addison bends over, playing fucking peek-a-boo between her legs. How the fuck she got a job here confuses me. Sure, she looks the part, fake tits, bleach-blonde hair, but she’s pushing forty. Times must be tough for the owner.

The last time I saw Addison was the afternoon I read Z’s statement. Even after I ripped her a new one, and warned her that she would have a huge fight on her hands, she said she would fight me. Yet she never fucking showed.

“What are you gonna do?” Sy asks beside me.

“What can I do? It’s not my fuckin’ problem now. She wants to ride the pole over being a mother, nothin’ I can do.” He nods agreeing.

I can’t make her be a good mother, but I need to know what the fuck her plans are. Z doesn’t need the uncertainty of when or if he sees her again. This week has been hell. Addison not showing up to the hearing only proved to Z how much she didn’t care. Her shmuck of an attorney tried to reschedule, but the judge denied that request. Said the testimony of Z’s statement and her lack of responsibility goes to show she’s unfit, and full custody was awarded to me. It didn’t feel as good as I thought it would when I saw the look on Z’s face. I know he wants to be with me, but seeing his mom not show, not even try to fight, just broke his heart more.

“What do you want, Nix?” Addison comes up to the table when she finishes up on stage. The only reason I knew she was here was because one of the boys came in last night, saw her shaking hers ass and called me straight away.

“So this is more important than showin’ up for Z? To show your son that you want to be a part of his life?” I accuse.

“Don’t fucking patronize me, Nix. We both know that you would have won custody.” She rolls her eyes, which just pisses me off.

“Fuck, you’re a piece of work. You don’t deserve him. I know that, but he’s fuckin’ eleven years old; he fuckin’ needs his mom.”

“Well, it’s good that your little teacher slut is all moved in, ready to go,” she hisses.

“Don’t even go there, Addison. Kadence has shown more love to my son in the last two months than you ever have. He even asked her to be his mom. How does that feel? Your own son knows how fuckin’ pathetic you’ve been?" I hit her low. She might not want to hear it, but she needs to. Kadence has been more of a mom to Z than his own mother. That day, when I walked in and heard her and Z’s conversation about being his mom, I nearly got down on my knee right there. I was close to demanding that she tell me she loved me and then make her promise to be my wife and Z’s mom. But I didn't. I stood there trying to keep my shit together, listening to her tell him how much she loved him. That’s all I want for my son, to experience that love only a mother can give a child.

"I’m glad for Z then, as I’ll be leaving at the end of the month.”

“You’ve got to be shittin’ me? Fuck I can’t believe I even thought about givin’ you a second chance.” I stand, done with this fucked-up woman.

“Yeah, I’m sure you were gonna give me a second chance, Nix,” she calls out as Sy and I walk away from her.

“I would have for Z,” I tell her, turning back to her. I didn’t want to, not after everything that she has done, but visitations, lunch meet ups, shit like that, I would have tagged along for Z. But she can get fucked now.

“He doesn’t want to see me,” she mumbles, her head dropped, looking at the floor.

“Well, you’ll never know now. I’m done.” Without another word, I turn and walk out. I don’t want to deal with her ever again. The sooner she moves out of town, the better.

***

“C
ome on, Kadence. Let's get fuckin goin’,” I yell out from the kitchen.

“Hold your horses, you big lump,” she yells back. It’s been nine weeks since Kadence left hospital, nine weeks of pure hell. Having her in my bed, in my home, and not been able to have her, I feel like my balls are about to explode.

With her broken ribs, there was no way I was getting anywhere near her. Not with the way we fuck: hard, fast and fucking explosive. Don’t get me wrong, I can do slow, but the thought of hurting her even in the slightest had my balls crawling up into themselves. That’s not to say we haven’t done other things, but there’s nothing quite like the feeling of sinking yourself into the woman you love. And I do I love her. I’ve loved her since she kneed me in the balls in the bathroom in the bar. I just need her to admit it.

“How do I look?" Kadence steps off the bottom step, pulling me from my thoughts.

“No way you’re fuckin’ wearin’ that. Go change.” I drag my eyes down the low dip in the front of the dress, her sexy tits sit perky, showing the world her delicious cleavage.

“Shut up, Nix. What’s wrong with this?” she asks, looking down at the sexy-as-fuck dress she’s got on.

“Christ, woman, are you trying to kill me? Please go put some fuckin’ clothes on.” I adjust myself, trying not to get hard right now.

“I have clothes on, perfectly fine clothes. Stop being a caveman and let's go. You were only bitching about leaving two minutes ago,” she smirks, walking by me. My gaze follows her as she passes, and I almost come apart when I get a look at her back.

“Kadence,” I try to control my voice.

“Yes, dear?” she smiles over at me. She knows what she’s doing. The damn dress has no fucking back.

“We’re gonna be late,” I tell her, stalking over to where she stands, I don’t give a fuck if the first time I have her is against the kitchen wall.

“Nix,” she warns, backing herself up into the wall

“It’s your own fault, Kadence. You shouldn’t have poked a sleepin’ bear.” My hands come to either side of her head, caging her in. “You got two options here. One, go change, or two, I’m gonna fuck you up against this wall, after I shred this dress off you.

“You wouldn’t.” Her eyes narrow to mine.

“Try me,” I challenge her. No way is she leaving this house with that dress on.

“You forgot about the third option, Nix.” She smiles up at me.

“There is no third option, babe.”

“You see, that’s where you’re wrong, honey.” She drops to her knees and starts unbuckling my belt.

“Kadence,” I warn. The fucking minx and her mouth think she’s gonna outsmart me. No way.

“Nix, there is no way you're getting this dress off,” she explains, taking my cock in her hands. “For one, you’ll ruin the surprise I got going on underneath, and two, there are fifty people waiting for us at the clubhouse.” She leans forward, licking the tip of my glistening head. I don’t care how many people are waiting for us, but I know this night is important to her.

I groan when her hot mouth envelopes my throbbing cock. With my arms still firmly planted on the wall, I drop my head forward and enjoy the warmth of her mouth. The doorbell rings, breaking her suction as she pulls back.

“Don’t fuckin’ stop,” I plead.

“We gotta go, Nix. Jesse’s here,” she replies, coming up from her knees. What the fuck? Why is Jesse here?

“Fuck, Jesse, he can wait. Get back on your knees.”

“Nix, that’s rude. I’m not going to suck your cock while Jesse waits for us at the front door.” She adjusts her dress, smirking at me.

“Why the fuck not? He’d probably do the same,” I say, knowing full well the fucker would.

“Come on, honey,” she smiles sweetly at me. I’m left standing there. My cock hanging, neglected out of my pants as Kadence sashays her ass to the front door.

Fuck, I just got played.

***

I
sit back in my chair and look out around my clubhouse as my brothers, my family, and our friends come together to celebrate my woman’s birthday.

The whole club is here tonight. My pops, Z, even Kadence’s parents. Z’s staying with Frank and Jolene this weekend, to give us a night free. Since Kadence came home from the hospital, Z has become close with them, especially Jolene.

Looking over, I watch Z as he stands with Frank, no doubt talking about the fish that he and Pops caught earlier today. He's been doing a lot better the last couple days, taking all of my girl’s attention too.

Jesse has already picked up for the night; the blonde who’s been sitting on his lap is a teacher at Kadence’s school. Kadence’s mom and Kelly are fussing about in the kitchen while Beau and Brooks sit talking with my pops over by the bar, and Sy is sulking in the corner. Ever since the night the girls were attacked, Sy has been holding on to some serious fucking anger. Holly won’t talk about it to Kadence, but my bet is there’s something going on between them.

The situation is fucked.

The last eight weeks have been about healing and coming to terms with what happened. Holly pushing everyone out was her way of dealing with her shit. I can't say I blame her. It didn't stop me from being pissed with her though for pushing my girl away. But I gave her that play, let her go with it for a month, and then it had to stop. The nightmares that plague Kadence, and the guilt she is feeling is enough. She needs her best friend. So I paid Holly a visit, told her she needed to pull her head out of her ass and start letting someone in. Kadence might put up with her being a bitch to her, but I wouldn’t. I wasn’t an asshole about it. I communicated that to her nicely or as nicely as you can when you tell someone to pull their head out of their ass. I think that’s all she needed, someone to get her out of her head. The last four weeks have been a huge difference with Kadence and Holly even having a few girls’ nights in. Holly is slowly coming back to herself and my girl couldn’t be happier.

“Have you seen Holly yet?” Kadence comes up to me, her short dress still pissing me off.

“Not yet, just relax, babe. She’s comin’.” Her top teeth bite at her bottom lip in concern, worrying about something that is out of her control. I reach forward and pinch her ass. “Quit worryin’ about it. She’ll be here,” I tell her just as Holly walks into the club. Her long blonde hair is gone, replaced with a shorter hairstyle. Holy shit.

I turn and look for Sy and see him regard her, before stalking forward in a slow but deliberate way. He grabs a hold of her wrist as everyone looks on, watching her struggle.

“Sy, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Kadence races over to where they stand. I follow behind, knowing shit is about to go down.

“Stay out of it, Kadence. This is between Holly and me.” Sy’s eyes drill into Holly, not releasing his grip.

“Like hell, Sy, let her go,” she snaps back, moving in to break the connection he has on her friend.

My arms come around her waist, pulling her to me.

“Nix, let me go. Tell Sy to let her go.” She fights my hold.

“Cool it, woman. Let them work it out.” I pull her back a step

“Nix, she’s frightened.”

“She’s fine. She's just playin’ hard to get,” I explain close to her ear. Her fight slows as she watches their exchange. Sy pulls Holly into him; his head lowers to speak something in her ear. Her eyes narrow, but you can see something moving behind them before they soften. Understanding and acceptance wash over her as her rigid body softens in his embrace.

Kadence relaxes her body as she notices what I see. Taking her hand, I walk her back to our now empty table, giving Holly and Sy some time. Most of the guests continue back as they were, or make their way outside.

“What was that about?”

“That was Sy puttin’ his foot down. The woman has been pushin’ his buttons for the last three months. Seems like Sy has had enough.”

“I don’t blame him, with the way she looks tonight,” Kadence smiles. Looking over at the new Holly, I have to agree. Her dress is just as revealing as Kadence’s. “She looks amazing,” she continues. “I can’t believe she cut all her hair off. She looks hot.”

“Not as hot as you,” I say, watching her. She rolls her eyes, but I can see the light behind them. “Except when we get home, this dress will be ripped off. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your little game earlier.” I lean into her. “That little stunt cost you a spankin’, and fair warnin’, it’s not gonna be gentle. My balls are feelin’ neglected, and if I have to sit here and watch you creatin’ hard-on’s in your wake, I’m gonna get my payback.”

“Oh, please, Jesse had to pick up the cake. I didn’t play you. Besides, you love it. You love them knowing that I’m yours,” she tells me, looking out at everyone around us. She’s right, but I’m not going to tell her that.

“I love you, and I can sure as fuck tell you I do not like seein’ other men rake their eyes over you.” I hold her gaze. Done with waiting, done with holding it back, I lay it out for her in the middle of my club. I can see the struggle play out over her face. The fight her head is having with her heart. It’s been the same way from the start of the relationship, her body wanting one thing, her head telling her another. The woman is a pain in my ass, and as much as I love that she pushes me to work harder and to be better, right about now, it’s starting to piss me off. Wanting to get through to her, I do what I’ve always done to get a response. I challenge her.

“You still falling in lust, Kadence? Or are you willing to admit you already fell?

Kadence

“...a
re you willing to admit you already fell?”

I roll the question around my head, trying to stall. Of course, I love the man, who wouldn’t? However, saying the words have been harder than I first thought. I’ve guarded my heart for such a long time I didn’t want to give it away again so freely, but Nix being Nix, not only stole it, he possesses it. I don’t know what my reservations are; there have been plenty of opportunities to tell him how I felt over the last few weeks. Every night while he's held me and helped me heal, I've wanted to blurt it out. However, every time I’ve felt the words begin to roll off my tongue, I held back, feeling awkward and out of my element. I know he’s wanted to say it, holding on to thinking I don’t want to hear it, but that’s not the case. It's not that I don’t want to feel loved. I do. I crave his love as much as I crave him, so what’s holding me back?