Inconvenient Relations (6 page)

Vibes

R
uhi tried her best to act nonchalant as she headed to her room; she could feel his eyes on her back—curious, probing, and perhaps perplexed. Good, keep him guessing.

But as soon as she shut the door, she darted to the bed and collapsed facedown. Her sobs muffled by the thick mattress, a downpour of anguish and hopelessness.

He doesn’t care! He doesn’t care at all!

How she had hoped he would grab her by the shoulders and shake her till her teeth rattled, scream at her, proclaim that she was his wife, and that perhaps they could work it out. That he was ready to leave Des, or whoever the bitch was. But no, he had done none of that. Zilch! Nada!

“Not as though I would have accepted if he had made such a proposal, no way!” she asserted with a vehement shake of her head.
But at least I’d have come to know if he had developed any feelings for me, accounting for all the time we spent together. But it doesn’t appear to be so
, she thought wistfully.
I’m just a “hired help.” No, not even that because he hasn’t paid me a single dime for all I’ve done for him! He probably owes me a few hundred bucks by now! But I won’t ask for anything; I have my self-respect to consider.

“Ohhh…this wretched feeling!” she cried. “All I want to do right now is to kill him along with her and do it slowly without mercy. I could strangle them till their faces turn blue and their eyes pop out or perhaps plunge in a knife, twisting it slowly and watch their lives seep out. Or, like the old times, mix slow poison in his food, and as he wastes away before my eyes, I’ll let him know I did it. Yes, I killed you, Shaan!” She laughed, falling back on the bed. “That’d give me immense satisfaction and would wipe the smirk off his face. I shall then go happily to prison.”

She sat up abruptly. “But why? Why should I be condemned for something I was coerced into?” Plaintively, she eyed the ceiling. “Oh Lord! If you consider me your true child, please send down a lightning bolt and strike him down along with that, that vile woman…she could be deceiving some poor unsuspecting moron like me. And
please
do make sure to send both of them to hell with my best wishes.”

She moaned, pressing the tips of her fingers to her forehead. “Why, oh why, did I say yes? He looked so innocent and trustworthy in his picture unlike now when I can clearly see the sly and conniving glint in his eyes. Why do daughters have to go grow up? Why did I have to give up my career, my future, my family, even my homeland? Please call me back, Dad! I feel so miserable, so alone!

“I have no one to share my pain with, no one to speak to. I’m caught in such a strange situation. And even though it will all end in a month, I do not wish to stay or see his gloating face anymore nor do I wish to be his friend!”

Forcing her eyes shut, she attempted to gather strength to persuade herself, “But I guess I’ll have to continue. It’s the only way to make this torture tolerable.”

***

Shaan couldn’t sleep, either.

He tossed aside the book
Consolations of Philosophy
, which he frequently called upon whenever he found himself in a conflict for it always provided a sensible explanation for everything; be it good or bad, there was a reason. He was committing a mistake because he was prone to do so. It made it easier to accept, hence console himself, and move on. But not tonight.

Ruhi was back where she needed to be, safe, but…it was all different, upside down. She had pulled out all the stuffing from their marriage and laid it down bare for him to see how ugly it really was.

It wasn’t any better than his own parents’ alliance, which had beget a messed-up character like him, and now it was quite clear that despite all his efforts or the lack of it he was continuing the tradition.

I am no better than you, Dad! The only difference is that my wife doesn’t want to take it lying down.

Perhaps it’s better this way; this bond was doomed from the get-go. I’m not fit to be a husband, have a family, give love, and expect love in return. I’ve been programmed to fail from the start. Ruhi is right, I shouldn’t attempt to fix something which is broken, I should let her go and try to salvage what is left of my life, if anything.

Yes, let’s get on with this arrangement.

He eyed the calendar. The countdown had begun.

***

The following morning he found her in the kitchen as usual, but that was the only thing that remained the same.

No sari or salwar suit. Rather she had chosen to dress in a fiery red sleeveless shirt over white Capri pants with her hair left loose to cascade over her shoulders, cutting a very neat and alluring picture. She was sipping on a cup of what he assumed was tea, her face looking all flushed and worked up.

She didn’t greet him.

Taking the initiative, he said, “Good morning, friend” and was rewarded with a brief glimpse of jet-black eyes. The look of happy sarcasm was missing from her face today.

Smiling upon discovering the empty coffeepot, he filled it up. “What’s wrong?”

“Bad dream, couldn’t sleep.”

“Neither could I.”

Must’ve been pining after that bitch!

“Here, lunch.” She pushed a box toward him.

“I don’t want it.”

“Why?”

“I feel awkward.”

“But you never felt that way before, so why now?”
You took me for granted.
She stared reproachfully at him.

“It’s different now.”
My perspective has changed. I behaved like a slave master. It’s humiliating.
He stared right back.

She pretended to appear disinterested. “You can eat it, give it to your friends, or throw it away. This is all I can do to pay you back right now.”

“You don’t have to worry about paying me back. It’s the least I can do to make up for what I’ve put you through.”

Her chair knocked sharply against the wall as she jumped to her feet. “What? You think that’s compensation enough? Nothing you do will give me back what I’ve lost! Yes, I agreed to marry you because I was blind and innocent! But who gave you the right to destroy my life, especially since you were having an
affair
and there was no hope for us? You treated me as if I was a disposable object! Why? Tell me why?”

“Yes, I know I’m the worst kind of cad! But my hands were tied! My grandfather was on his deathbed. I had no choice!” He snapped back, gripping the counter till his knuckles turned white.

Walking up to him, she said softly, “Yes, you had a choice. You could have walked away. You could have been a man.”

***

You could have walked away. You could’ve been a man.

There was a stunned silence.

Ruhi had hit him where it hurt. Packed a solid punch to the solar plexus, but instead of feeling a cruel satisfaction, she felt nothing.

“Yes, you have shown me that I am lower than the lowliest life-form on earth. But I can’t take it back. I cannot turn back the clock!”

Then when she walked past him toward the couch, he grabbed her by the shoulder. “Stop, look at me! Are you happy now that you have got it off your chest?”

Glancing pointedly at his hand, she waited for it to be removed. “To tell you the truth, I don’t feel much of anything. Rather, I pity you.”

“Pity me?”

“Yes, because you’ve lost the opportunity to spend your life with me.” She jabbed a finger in the center of his chest. “It’s a very big loss, you see.”

His handsome visage bore a stunned look as the reality of her words sank in, making him feel sick. Perhaps she was right. He had lost it, lost it completely.

She grinned broadly, all the wrath vanishing from her face in an instant. So much so he began to wonder if what had happened earlier was a part of his overwrought imagination.

But it wasn’t.

“All right, forget about it. That’s my emotional quota for the day. Now for something practical, dear friend. By the way, can I call you by a different name like say… Grey? ‘Dear friend’ sounds so odd, and I definitely don’t like Shaan.”

“Grey? Why Grey?” He asked, finally glad at the change of topic.

“Because I think you have way too many grey cells in your brain. Aren’t you supposed to—as an aerospace engineer?”

He lifted a shoulder. “I don’t agree, but I don’t mind either way. What
should
I call you?”

“I don’t know. What do I look like?” she smiled, arching her shapely eyebrows at him.

“Hmmm… Well, I think you look like a bee. Yes, I will call you Bee.”

Tossing her head back, she laughed, a genuine happy laugh. “Bee…what a weird name. But I like it, I do indeed! Thank you, Grey!”

“You are welcome, Bee. So do you mean we are calling it a truce?” he asked with a bit of trepidation. She was full of surprises, most of them not very pleasant.

“Yes, I guess so. Anyway for the time being you are safe.” She eyed him seriously then laughed again. “I was kidding. Don’t look at me like that! I’m not going to eat you, or run and complain to your Des!”

She paused, her sharp eyes probing his face for his response. She wasn’t pleased.

“By the way, are you planning on coming home late tonight?”

Trying again, she approached closer, a definite tease in her manner.

“No, I’m not,” he shot back at once on the defensive.

“What happened?
Koi panga? Ladai?
” (Some quarrel or a fight?) “Can I help? I am your friend after all, ain’t I?”

“No. You can’t do anything.” Clenching his jaw, he blurted out, “I’m done with her!”

“Done? Oh no! That’s not good. Why, may I ask? I thought you were
fida
over her!” She said, appearing genuinely surprised and concerned.

Sighing, he closed his eyes, “That’s not true. She turned out to be a lot different than I’d expected. She deceived and used me. I hung on till the last moment, but to no avail. It’s all over.”

She looked puzzled, almost angry.

“Don’t ever talk to me about her again. Do you understand, Ruhi?” he said, peering intently into her eyes.

“Bee, not Ruhi! Call me Bee, Grey! Fine, I won’t! I thought I’d offer my help as your friend, perhaps she is jealous of me. I bet she is! Women cannot tolerate seeing their man with someone else. They are very possessive. I can clear her mind, tell her that our relationship ended before it even got under way.”

“Did it?” he muttered under his breath.

“What? What did you say?”

“Nothing.” He sighed again. “I’d rather forget about it right now. All right?”

“Sure, anything’s fine with me. But my offer stands. By the way, can I borrow some bus money?”

“Bus money? Whatever for?”

“Because I can’t
walk
all over LA. And I cannot stay in this place like a virtual prisoner without getting bored to death. I want to explore, see places, travel. After all, I live in one of the biggest cities in the world.” Her face grew bright with excitement.

“But you don’t know anything about this place. If you get lost, you wouldn’t even know how to call for help!”

“Yes I wouldn’t, but I can learn. I heard it’s pretty easy too. You can travel anywhere by bus, and they aren’t too crowded either.
Dadamoni
told me so.”

“Oh yes Sooj! Mr. Know-it-all! I bet he didn’t tell you about the routes or the spots to avoid. I’m sure he told you none of that.”

“No.” She was reluctant in her admission.

“You don’t have to go on your own. I’ll take you on the weekends.”

“No! I do want to travel alone! I don’t want to go anywhere with you!”

“But why, Bee? Don’t you trust me?”
Darnit!

“Don’t even go there, Grey. Just give me some money. I’m not asking for much. And yes, may I borrow your camera, too? I like taking pictures.”

He could tell she had made up her mind, and there was no way he could dissuade her. He had to somehow get used to her stubborn streak, but that wouldn’t be for long. The thought strangely saddened him.

“Here, this is the only one I have.” He handed her his Nikon.

“You can check it out while I download the bus route map for you.”

“Why? You don’t have to go through so much trouble!”

“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for your father. So if you happen to get lost, I’ll have some clue as to where to look for his daughter before a nut job finds her. Got it? I thought bees had brains!”

Her eyes bore through him; a single sting can kill.

“But I’m good at taking care of myself. There was an idiot in college who got laid up in the hospital for four days after I confronted him with my hockey stick!”

Shaan grinned, looking up from the computer screen. “Oh, you mean Satish?”

“Yes, but how did you know?”

“Ohh…I… I think your cousin Ansh told me about the incident. He is very fond of you!” he said, holding his breath.

“Yes, he does love me a lot…”

Thank God for small mercies
, Shaan thought, breathing again.
Watch your mouth or you’ll get hanged for sure!
He printed the route map and offered it to Ruhi.

She wasn’t paying attention.

“Bee?”