“I
am
calm!” The instant the words flew out, my head dropped and my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
I couldn’t breathe. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t fair. She had been nothing but lovely, and didn’t deserve the brunt of my temper.
I straightened myself, searching for the right words. “I’m sorry, I just…need some fresh air,” I explained.
She peeked up. “I’ll try to hurry.”
“The heater in here’s been needing to be replaced,” I explained, trying for a friendly conversation. Maybe that would help pass time, as well. “It’s older than I am, and it gets to me after a while. Runs hotter than I set it.”
“I just had mine repaired last winter. Expensive beast.” She cracked a tiny smile, confirming there were no hard feelings. “Almost done.”
I rose up just the slightest to slide my clammy palms under me, attempting to remain as still as possible for her.
“All right,” she finally said, turning to toss something in the trash. “Now I need to get a better look at your stomach. Mr. West explained you have some injuries there, as well.”
I glanced up at the door and found him there, standing stoically quiet, watching with a tight frown frozen over his features. I hadn’t even noticed he was there. His eyes were on me, his lips curled into a tender but sympathetic smile that eased a few of the nerves I felt at the thought of my stomach.
How could I forget? How was it that, until that very moment, I couldn’t feel the pain of it?
“It’s nothing,” I choked out, lowering my gaze, unable to fully look at either of them.
My posture stiffened almost painfully and must have spoken more loudly than the words that had left my mouth, because Tara’s stern approach softened. She tilted her head to catch my downward stare.
“Listen, I know you want this to be over with, but I can’t leave until I confirm your injuries have been fully assessed and treated to the best of my ability.”
“Cassandra,” Logan spoke in a hard whisper.
With a relenting sigh and stiff hand, I held onto the end of the belt on the white robe Logan had covered me with earlier.
I knew from the pained expression on his striking face that he wanted to be closer instead of standing across the room, but the space was too narrow. I could clearly see anger written in his tense shoulders, and I honestly believed his pain for me outweighed my own. And even though I couldn’t touch him, there was no denying the strength I drew from him being there for me.
“Do you mind giving us some privacy?” Tara asked, glancing over her shoulder at Logan.
My gaze caught his and never strayed as he answered her, his voice grave. “I’m not leaving her again.”
“You can wait in the hall, sir.”
Their conversation faded away when I blinked, breaking our connection, my mind focusing on the belt sliding between my fingers. I finally began to feel more than agitation. The blood rippling through my veins grew louder and louder as I allowed myself to feel the tenderness over my stomach. I knew it was sore, but for the first time I was really feeling it.
I felt the glass shattering over me as I wrestled to escape my vehicle. Kurt’s vice-like grip locked around my ankle, hauling me toward him. I shuddered at the memory of the shards that covered the seat, digging into my skin.
“Cassandra.” Logan’s sweet breath brushed over my lips. “Look at me. Open your eyes.”
Are they closed?
My lids fluttered open as I lifted my head listlessly and inhaled a shaky breath. He was so close and so perfect, squatting down in front of me.
“I’ll be fine. Is Jax looking for Scout?” I asked, changing the subject while attempting a smile. But it couldn’t cover the unexpected faintness in my voice.
“Yeah, he’s on it.”
“Thank you. And she’s right, you can wait outside.” My shoulders rose. “You know—privacy and all.”
He leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss to my lips. “There’s nothing about you I ever want hidden from me. Besides, I’ve already seen what you’re trying to cover, and there’s no reason for that. You’re as beautiful now as you were this morning.”
My smile grew.
“I’m staying. She’ll get over it.”
“Logan, you’re so good to me.” I placed another kiss on his lips. “Please just wait outside—for me.” I gave his hand a squeeze.
A moment passed between us; silent words of comfort. “If that’s what you want, of course. I’ll be on the other side of that door if you need me.”
I nodded, grateful he was stowing away his tenacious personality for once.
“I love you,” he mouthed before righting himself and walking out with hesitant steps.
Once the door was shut behind him, I lay back, stretching out my legs and resting my head on the pillow. Tara opened the robe fully to reveal my hidden injuries, and then, in the most unaffected tone possible, explained that there was some glass she needed to remove—remnants of the attack left behind inside me.
I closed my eyes to block it out, but it was becoming real. My defenses were cracking.
No, no, no.
I’d rather be numb than a crying mess. Not again. I sucked in a deep breath, filling my lungs and chanting in my head,
I’m stronger than this. I’m stronger than this.
The slivers she extracted were nothing compared to the assaulting images striving to burst through my chant and confront my defenses. I didn’t want to deal, didn’t want to understand. I just wanted the day to end.
But what I wanted didn’t seem to matter. The memory of Kurt’s grimy claws caused my gut to roll—his brutal hands forcing me onto the floor, his elbow shoved against my back.
I’m stronger than this
.
Stronger. So much stronger
.
I shielded my face with my arms, stifling a sob—not from fear or trauma, but anger. For the first time since the attack, I felt a swelling ache between my shoulder blades that I was certain was the beginning of a nasty bruise. Worst of all was the touch of him, his bare skin pressed to mine.
He had no right!
My body had endured enough in the accident only two months earlier, and now it was happening again.
‘Angry’ wasn’t the right word for what I was feeling in that moment. I was pissed.
I wiped the tear prickling my eye before it could sneak out, then leapt up to a seated position. That bastard wouldn’t reduce me to tears—not here, not yet.
“Cassandra, I need to finish.”
My eyes met Tara's, and whatever she saw there caused her determination to waver. She pulled away, reached into her bag, and held out a tube of ointment.
“Here, put this over the wounds twice daily. You don’t need stitches. All the glass is out, and it didn’t embed deep. You can take Tylenol for the soreness and any aches you have, unless it becomes worse.”
“Thank you.”
Finally ready to really see, I looked down at my stomach. It was bright red, and covered with a few abrasions spread over what looked like a nasty case of rug burn.
Tara pulled off her gloves and tossed them in the trash. “You’re all set. If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to come into the ER or call your doctor.”
I closed the robe and offered an appreciative smile.
She mimicked me and stood, crossing the room to the door where Logan, as promised, was standing on the other side. The instant she passed him he was beside me, his fingers interlocking with mine.
“Cassandra,” he breathed, pulling me up and into his arms for an embrace. It was something we both needed.
“I want so badly to restart this day…anything to bring back the light in your eyes, the smile to those beautiful lips.” He kissed the side of my head. “I should have been here. Should have known he was out. Should have…” His body began to stiffen.
Logan was the last person that should’ve felt guilt. I held him closer, locking my arms around his waist as I shook my head, silencing him. The scruff of his cheek drew me closer. I inhaled his heady scent and rested my head on his broad shoulder, his voice breaking through our heavy silence after a moment’s pause.
“I want to take you away from here. Christ, if I could erase what happened—” He released a pained sigh then pulled back slowly, his eyes searching mine.
“You have to know by now I’d do anything, Cassandra. I can’t bear the thought of you hurting and not being able to have you to myself right now—to comfort you the way you deserve. But I’m here…whatever you need, whatever you want. Say the words, and I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of you. It’s all I want to do…always.”
“I know.” I balanced up on my toes and placed my lips against his. “And I love you for that.”
He kissed me back, but it was restrained and swift as a voice interrupted us.
“Miss Clarke, the—oh, I’m sorry. Excuse me.”
Logan and I both turned toward the officer, who ducked out of the room as quickly as he’d strolled in.
“I think they’re waiting on us,” I said, staring back up into the brilliant depths of emotion in his eyes. It was paralyzing.
His free hand caressed my cheek, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. “They need your statement. If—”
“I’m ready,” I interrupted, not wanting to overthink it. There was no way to avoid giving the report to the sheriff. It had to be done. Kurt had to be punished.
Logan watched me, gauging the emotions he was expecting to see, but I had nothing to offer him. It was time to recite all the facts out loud—to get it on paper and move on.
Logan cupped my face. “If you need time or...”
I shook my head. “No. I want to get it over with.”
I
need
to get it over with.
A faint smile touched his lips. “Always so strong.” His thumbs traced the contours of my cheeks. I closed my eyes and leaned into his comforting touch.
Logan had become, in such a short time, the only person who was able to lift me up when I was down so low. It was a discovery I cherished.
“I’m here, sweetheart.” He pressed a soft, tender kiss to my lips. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”
I knew we would. I believed in him—in us.
With his hand settled on the small of my back, he guided me out of the room. We proceeded down the hall toward the end, where my bedroom was located.
The door was destroyed, its remnants left still hanging from the hinges. As our steps grew closer, the voices and shadows of officers inside gripped my attention. The click of a camera rang through my ears and sent a shiver down my spine. It was like being in a horror movie.
We continued walking, turning the corner into the living room. As we did, I glanced into my room to catch sight of the blood stain on the floor—the floor Kurt had held me down against, his body pressed against mine. His erection…
I slammed my eyes shut to push the memory away and shook my head, quickening my steps.
“Hey, you don’t have to do this yet,” Logan whispered, stopping abruptly and moving in front of me. He lifted my chin. “They’ll understand.”
“I need to,” I murmured.
“Cassandra,” a familiar voice said. I looked past Logan to find the burly man with a receding hairline I’d known since childhood: the deputy sheriff and my mother’s boss, Harry Mackwell.
He opened his arms and I walked straight into them. Harry had always smelled of warm spice, and today I sought comfort in it.
“How are you?” he asked when I stepped back.
“You know me,” I replied coyly as Logan slipped his hand back in mine.
“I do.” Harry gave a somber nod, then looked over to Logan. “I hate to jump right into it, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to speak to this young man first.”
“Of course.” I peeked up at Logan.
“I’ll be back,” he assured me, his fingers slipping from mine as he followed Harry into the kitchen.
Unsure what to do, I sat on the sofa and watched as men and women in uniforms, some I knew, carried on around me. It was my house now and where I’d spent most of my childhood, yet I’d never felt more disconnected from it than I did in that moment.
Nothing felt real or whole. I was simply living, breathing, and waiting.
Chapter Two
Heat Wave
The longer I sat, the harder my eyes struggled to remain open. Logan and Harry had been in the other room for over thirty minutes. I knew that only because I’d watched every second tick by on the clock sitting on the table that once held photos, which were now scattered on the floor.
A kitchen chair squeaked, sliding against the linoleum. Heavy footsteps followed, and then Logan was there, sitting beside me. I sat up, snapping out of my trance and wiping my eyes to stay awake.
It’s my turn.
With a slight tilt of my head in his direction, I forced a smile. He saw through me and lifted my hand, covering it with his before bringing it to his lips. Anticipating a peck to my knuckles, I relished the touch of his lips pressed to my skin. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, savoring it himself. The affectionate act soothed my tensions, and I believed his as well.
Harry sat across from us, his solemn gaze fixed on the notepad he held. When he raised his head, a commanding power emanated from him.
“I’m going to try and keep this as brief and straightforward as possible, Cassandra, but I need to know all the details for us to properly prosecute the case. I know how strong you are.” A hint of a smile eased the heaviness of his words. “A lot like your mother. So let’s get through this, and then I’ll have my officers out of your home. All right?”
I bobbed my head awkwardly, unsure where to start. What
were
the details? My thoughts were a flurry of bits and pieces in no particular order. I needed to think back to the beginning, but all I saw was Kurt standing outside my car, reeking of resentment and hatred, and then his fist smashing the window. The snow I’d run through was deep and cold and the forest was viscous, wicked branches blocking my way as my feet trudged forward as fast as they could.
I recoiled, breathless, and stared at Harry. A sweltering, suffocating heat suddenly infiltrated my trembling limbs. I squirmed, suddenly uncomfortable in my own skin.
Is anyone else feeling this?