“You can use your pillow,” Hilary suggested, pointing to the tote Natasha had set off to the side that had her butt cushion peeking out.
Natasha said nothing as Caleb grabbed it and tossed it onto a sled. “No shame. You wanted to come sledding with him, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, of course,” Natasha replied, her features devoid of any irritation. “Logan, can you help me?” She held out her hand, but Hilary stepped forward to take it.
“I can help you,” Hilary said, her expression bright and tone overly friendly.
Natasha stared at Logan, who didn’t move to help. And I knew he wouldn’t—not with Hilary standing there, willing and ready.
“Never mind, I got it,” Natasha said, then slowly lowered herself down onto the pillow.
“You gonna snap a pic of that?” Caleb whispered from beside me.
I swatted him. “Be nice. She’s genuinely hurt.”
“Right,” was all he said as he took Hilary’s hand and moved back to where they’d been sitting a few feet behind us, talking amongst themselves. Turned out sledding and morning sickness didn’t mix, and luckily, telling Caleb her stomach was upset was enough to get Hilary off the hook.
Logan remained stoically quiet beside Oliver, watching his son who stared up at Natasha. Logan looked lost in his head. Not upset or happy—just thoughtful.
“You ready?” Logan finally called out, moving behind them. “Three—”
“No, get on with Mommy too!”
My stomach roiled and my head dropped as an unexpected gasp of air flew from my lungs. No, I wouldn’t be jealous. As a child, I would’ve wanted the same thing Oliver did. But that thought didn’t seem to help soothe the ache inside my heart.
“Better not make him wait,” I laughed, hoping it’d come out more smoothly than it felt. I peered over to find Logan regarding me with a creased brow.
His lips curled up, as did mine when he lifted Oliver and sat behind him on the sled.
“How about I ride with you and we race boys against girl?” Logan told him.
Oliver nodded eagerly, gripping the rope.
“Cassie, count down!” Oliver called out to me.
“All right: three, two...” My smile grew as I watched Oliver bopping from side to side, unable to still his excitement and taunting his mother about boys being faster.
“ONE!”
In a flash, they were off.
Once they hit the bottom, I watched with a tight gut as Logan and Oliver helped Natasha up. Out of nowhere, I was suddenly hit with sadness. Part of me compared Oliver’s situation to mine as a child. My father had left and never come back…but if he
would
have…
I shook it from my head. I hated that I knew I’d have welcomed him back as easily as Oliver did Natasha. Seeing what appeared to be a happy family sledding together consumed me with jealously. Did that make me a bad person? I wanted Oliver and Logan to be happy, but I knew I was being selfish considering I was a part of that happiness already. I felt like crap for even going there in my own head.
When they came back up—Oliver on Logan’s shoulders, the sleds dragging behind them—I bit the inside of my cheek at the picture of Natasha at his side, laughing. They looked like a picture-perfect family. For Oliver and Oliver only, I pulled out my camera and, with shaky hands, snapped a photo. They didn’t seem to notice through their laughter and talk about how good it felt to be out there in the fresh country air.
Logan stopped in front of me, smiling.
“Nat, hey baby!” Josh appeared, running up the hill behind them.
They all turned, and I watched Logan’s expression darken when Natasha flung herself into Josh’s arms.
“There you are! Always so late,” she said, then kissed him. It was quick, but definitely involved a bit too much tongue.
“How the hell do you know him,
Nat
?” Logan all but growled the nickname.
Caleb moved beside me.
“Hello Logan,” Josh said, then looked past him. “Caleb. How you guys been? Haven sure looks like a success.”
“Answer my question, Natasha—now!” Logan demanded, ignoring Josh’s words. His tone was hard and fierce—so much so that Caleb took Oliver’s hand and helped him onto a sled.
“Don’t you dare talk to my girl like that,” Josh seethed, stepping closer to Logan until they were almost toe to toe.
What the hell was going on?
“Logan, let’s sled,” I said softly, attempting to ease the tension that had materialized in his jaw and everywhere else.
“Ride Oliver down, babe,” Caleb said to Hilary, who was just as focused on Josh and Logan’s standoff as I was. He tugged Hilary’s hand, and she went over to climb behind Oliver.
As they flew down the hill, I slid my hand into Logan’s, prying his fingers open to weave mine through. “Whatever is going on, this isn’t the place,” I whispered.
I wasn’t even sure he’d heard me. He just stared at Josh, who was more relaxed then he should’ve been considering both Logan and Caleb were now in front of him. Josh placed his arm around Natasha and pulled her into him.
“What’s the problem here, guys, huh? You got my restaurant, you both had your way with a friend of mine right outside my own door, but still I hold no grudges. So unless you want to start something in front of half the town, I say we move on.”
“Logan, Josh is a sweet guy,” Natasha offered.
Did she really like him? I mean, he was cute and had been popular in school, but he was more of a jock that never grew up rather than the man in front of her wearing a frown so deep I wondered if it would ever disappear.
“Sweet? You think this putz is
sweet
? He’s a fucking kid, Natasha!” Logan growled.
And then it hit me: He was jealous.
Those three little words knocked the wind from my chest and the warmth from my soul. It wasn’t possible. He despised her.
Caleb spoke at the same time Hilary and Oliver appeared. “Not here, Logan.”
Logan finally took notice. “You’re right. I came here to have some fun,” he said, picking Oliver up and plopping him back on the sled.
I was going to be sick—of that, I was certain—and after watching the satisfaction on Natasha’s expression as she pulled Josh flush against her for a full display of their lust, I knew I needed to take a walk.
“I’m going to get us some hot chocolate. I’ll be right back,” I said, avoiding eye contact with anyone as I headed for the vendor in the parking lot. I wasn’t sure why I felt the way I did, but I needed a second to clear my head before my entire mood was ruined.
“Don’t f’get marshmallows!” Oliver called out to me, and I smiled to myself at how happy he sounded. “Come on, Daddy, let’s go again.”
“You go with Hilary again. I’ll help Cassandra,” I heard Logan say, and I quickened my pace.
What was my problem?
Did I really think he was jealous? I wasn’t sure of anything right then, and it wasn’t the time to ask him. But I would soon.
“No—again, Daddy, again!”
“Cassandra?” Hilary was beside me out of nowhere. “You okay?”
“Perfect. You guys want marshmallows in yours, too?” I asked, a forced smile in place.
“No, I want to watch Natasha on her ass pillow again!” She laughed, and I knew she was only trying to lift the sour mood.
“Don’t. It’s my fault she even got hurt.”
“Seriously? She wants your man—it’s so obvious—and I get the evil eye for laughing at the bitch?”
I sighed. “I’m just trying to play nice.”
“Well, let’s play then. We should get to know her a little better, don’t you think?” Hilary stopped and turned back. “Hey, Natasha!” she yelled.
“Wait, what are you doing?” I whispered, my anxiety spiking.
The smile on Hilary’s face was overly wide.
“Yeah?” Natasha called back, still attached to Josh. I dropped my gaze, shifting uncomfortably.
“You want to go out with Cassandra and me tonight? We haven’t been dancing for too long.”
“I hate you,” I said under my breath, attempting to keep my lips still and in a seamless line.
“Sure, that sounds fun, thanks!” Natasha answered, looking surprised but thrilled at the offer.
“Fabulous!” Hilary called out, then turned back and continued walking down the hill. I followed, but my steps were anything but light. A night out with Natasha? ‘Fabulous’ was the last word I’d use to describe it.
Chapter Seventeen
Power
The drive home was awkward, to say the least—especially with Oliver lying in the backseat, awake but too exhausted to distract us from our own thoughts. Logan was clearly on edge from Josh’s unexpected arrival, and I was biding my time until Oliver was out of earshot so I could start the interrogation.
Deep down, I knew he couldn’t be jealous of Josh, but still…there was that little nagging voice that kept reminding me they had a lot of history, including but not limited to the adorable little boy in the backseat.
We pulled into Logan’s driveway right around noon. As I moved to open the passenger door, Logan’s hand covered my knee.
“Wait.”
“Huh?” I glanced his way.
Oliver’s back door opened suddenly, and Julia was there helping him out.
“Five minutes, got it?” she said quickly. “I have plans.” She shut the door.
“What’s going on?” I asked, my expression tight.
“I just wanted to talk to you alone for a moment.” Logan’s hand was molded around the gearshift, his eyes forward.
My nerves sparked at his seriousness “Okay. Actually, there was something I wanted to ask you—”
“Stay away from Josh and Natasha.” His harsh demand cut through me.
I narrowed my eyes. “Wait, what?”
He turned his head to face me, his expression dark. “You heard me. She’s up to something. There’s no possible way she’d freely date someone like him.”
“
Someone like him
?” My tone was mocking, but not amused. “What the hell does that mean—she’s too good for the locals?”
He shook his head, scowling. “He’s nothing but an idiot, and will use anyone he can to hurt Caleb and me. In case Josh is there tonight, you’re not going out.”
“
Excuse
me? Since when do you dictate who I hang out with or where I go?”
His eyes cut to mine. “Josh has every reason not to like me, and I won’t let you get dragged into something—”
“Why?” I interrupted harshly. “Because you and Caleb stole the diner from him?”
His entire body stiffened, eyes blazing. “Josh bet it, and Caleb won. That’s all that matters. Josh is clearly bitter at the success of Haven, since it was a shithole when he ran it.”
There had to be something more. As Logan lowered the heat blasting through the vents, Josh’s words slammed into me. “What did he mean about you having your way with his
friend
?”
Logan’s head tilted, his lips parting slowly as his anger swam away. “Doesn’t matter.” It was almost a whisper.
“It does to me. If he has an issue with you, there must be a reason—and not just Haven.”
“You know about my past, Cassandra. There’s no need to rehash it.” He sighed, then turned away.
“You screwed around with someone he cared about.” I didn’t need to ask it—it was obvious in the way he shut me out. The one thing from his past he didn’t like to discuss was liaisons.
When he didn’t deny my accusation, I continued, my stomach churning. “And outside his place? Both you
and
Caleb?” It was too much to process, but I couldn’t stop one final question from coming out as the realization beat against me. “You shared women?”
“Sweetheart...” Quickly, he turned back and reached for my hand. I pulled away, unable to ignore the disgust crawling over me. I couldn’t even look at him. “Before you, I was a different man. You know this. Please, just look at me.”
“I should go.” My voice was flat; numb. “I need a shower, and maybe some rest before tonight.”
“Listen to me: No one else has ever meant anything to me. Caleb and I…” He exhaled deeply, running his hands through his hair. “We were bored most of the time.”
“I’m sure,” I murmured.
Logan lifted my chin, forcing me to meet his rueful gaze. “I love you, Cassandra. I can’t stand you looking at me like this. Tell me you love me. Tell me my past doesn’t matter. ’Cause if that fucks up what you and I have…I can’t bear it.”
“I do love you—more than anything. But you have to admit, that’s a lot to take in—at least, for me it is. You’re right, though…it’s in the past.”
He stroked my cheek and drew me closer, his mouth skimming mine.
“Stay with me tonight.” His words brushed across my lips.
I pushed off from his chest. “No, I’m going out.”
“You can’t honestly tell me you want to spend time with my ex.”
Hearing those words—‘my ex’—cause something to snap within me: a reminder of what I’d been waiting to talk to him about.
“Just because you’re jealous she’s obviously moving on doesn’t mean you can make demands on me! Understand?”
“Jealous?” His laughter was raucous. “
That’s
what you think?”
“Don’t you dare laugh at me!”
Logan held up his hand as though he was trying to contain the chuckle, but his grin only grew wider as his chest continued to rumble. He cupped my cheeks, and was twisting me to face him when I grabbed the door handle.
“Christ, woman, what the hell would make you think I’d be jealous of someone I don’t even care about?”
“Then why were you so upset about her and Josh being together? You nearly took his head off. If it was a simple case of you and him not getting along, you wouldn’t have been that upset. It was that they were together that got to you.”
“Not because of Natasha.” His thumb traced my lip and, like a masochist, I closed my eyes and relished his touch.
Damn it.
“I don’t want anyone I don’t trust around those I love. I wasn’t trying to protect Natasha—I was trying to protect you and Oliver.”
Oh.
“Right. Look, I’m sorry for thinking—”
“Don’t. I understand why you did. But please, Cassandra, what do I have to do to prove that it’s only you?”
I leaned across the center console and slid my leg over his, maneuvering slowly to straddle him. He clicked a button, and the seat went back.