Indigo Road (16 page)

“Same. Any other color would have felt
weird.”

Alex slipped his shirt on, the shiny letters
catching the sun. It fit his shoulders nicely. I pulled on my
indigo shirt too, and after we packed our bags and checked out, we
hit the road, smiles plastered across our faces.

SAN
DIEGO
was as far south as we could go
without heading into Mexico, so we hit the road east. The initial
plan was to spend a few days in Vegas, but after what happened in
LA, we decided to give major cities a miss.

After
crossing the state line into Arizona, we headed north to Utah. Alex
spent a lot of the time behind the camera as I drove through
Monument Valley, insisting on stopping every time he saw one of the
large sandstone buttes. He took forever. They all looked pretty
much the same to
me,
but Alex ignored my frustrated grunts. I couldn’t deny that
they were impressive, though. The panorama appeared alien. Large
red rocks against a vivid blue sky randomly dotted the landscape,
some as big as a small mountain, some tall and thin like massive
totem poles reaching to the heavens. Some rounded, some square and
flat, but all were awe-inspiring.

And there was snow. We might not have been
very far north, but I didn’t expect to be this cold during the
trip. Although, it was nice cuddling in the back of Maude, sharing
each other’s body heat. There was always that.

Our sex life had stepped up another notch
since Christmas, and there didn’t seem to be a day when Alex didn’t
pin me down and fuck me through the mattress, either in the morning
when we first woke up or in the evening before we fell asleep. It
wasn’t unusual for me to wake up with bite marks and hickeys
covering my chest and abs. I hadn’t returned the favor, unsure if
he wanted that or not, but I wasn’t about to complain. I loved
having him inside me. Alex also seemed to enjoy watching me squirm
when he pinned my hands above my head so I couldn’t touch my cock
while he fucked me. It frustrated and excited me at the same
time.

Alex’s sexual
experience appeared to outstrip mine, and I finally asked him how
he knew so much about anal sex. I’d wanted to ask for a
while,
but I was
afraid of the answer.
Eventually
my curiosity got the better of me.

“You remember Linda?” Alex said when I asked
him. I must have had a blank expression on my face. “I dated her
for nearly six months. You used to make fun of her name, Linda the
Law Student?”

“You dated her? I thought she was a study
partner for some class you had together.” What classes an economics
major and a prelaw student had together, though, I had no idea.
Alex raised an eyebrow. “What? It’s not my fault I don’t remember
your girlfriends. You never told me anything, no matter how much I
badgered you for the details.”

“True. Some things are private. Anyway, Linda
wasn’t like any other girl I met. She only let me fuck her pussy
once and that was on our first night together.” I cringed inwardly
hearing Alex talk like that; it wasn’t like him to be so crass.
Then again, the Alex I used to know wasn’t gay either. “After that
first night, she insisted I fuck her in the ass instead.”

I was gobsmacked. “Seriously? Girls do
that?”

“I don’t know about other girls, certainly no
other girl I’ve been with. But Linda loved it, said she couldn’t
get off by straight sex. But a girl’s body is different; you and I
have the advantage of a prostate.” Alex waggled his eyebrows.

Which brought me to another point. “And how
did you know how to find mine? I knew I had one, but I had no idea
where to find it. Or how it felt.”

“Calvin,” Alex said simply.

“What?” I nearly ran off the road. “Maybe we
shouldn’t be having this conversation while I’m driving,” I
muttered to myself.

“Keep going; it’s not that bad, I don’t
think.” Alex sighed. “Calvin knows about us.”

“
What?” I
managed to keep the steering wheel straight that time, sort of.
“Who else knows?” My voice came out a little panicky, even to my
ears. How did I feel about people finding out Alex was fucking me
every day? I was pretty sure I was gay, but I hadn’t thought to
tell anyone because no one was around to tell. What would happen
when we got home? Would we come out to our families? Move in
together? Break up? Forget everything that happened and just be
best friends again? I had all these questions again whizzing
through my brain and I only had an answer for one of them. I didn’t
want to be
just
friends.

“No one. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to out you,
but I needed to talk to someone about how I was feeling. He’s the
only gay guy I know, so I confided in him. He’s helped me come to
terms with… how I feel about you.”

I swallowed audibly and looked at him for as
long as the road would allow.

“
How
do
you
feel about me?” That sounded casual, right?

“I love you. You’re my best friend.”

“
DO WE
really need these?” Alex asked, holding up a
packet of condoms. We’d left Colorado and Utah behind and were now
in New Mexico. Our aim was to not see snow for the entire year, but
we’d failed epically. We were heading more south now and attempting
to leave the ice behind. Although Hobbs was still quite cold, it
hadn’t snowed there for a while. It wasn’t a big town, but it
wasn’t the backwoods either. There was a small university and, on
the opposite side of the highway, a golf course. So far we’d seen a
Walmart Supercenter and a mall, but we hadn’t ventured off the main
road into town. After stopping at IHOP for lunch, we drove to
Walgreens to pick up a few supplies.

I looked at the packet of Trojans in his
hand. “Yes. And get the bigger lube.” Lube didn’t last as long as
you’d think. “Oh, and we need more wet wipes.”

“Don’t you trust me?” Alex asked, hurt
coloring his tone.

“
What?
Of course
I trust you.
That’s a stupid question.” I started walking down the other aisle,
hoping he’d drop it.

He didn’t.

“So why do we need to use them? I’ve never
had sex without them, not once.” His eyes went wide. “What? Are
you…?” Alex didn’t finish his sentence.

I flexed my fingers, trying to release the
tension. “Buy the fucking condoms, Alex. I’m not talking about this
here,” I hissed, walking out of the store and leaving him to pay.
He’d want the receipt anyway.

I’d thought this conversation would have
happened before now, but I was still dreading it. Thinking back to
that idiotic time during our junior year gave me the shivers and I
knew I’d have to fess up to Alex sooner or later.

We walked back to Maude in uneasy silence. It
wasn’t until we stopped for the night and crawled into bed after
dinner that Alex brought it up again.

“So,” he said, running a finger down my
arm.

“So, what?” I really didn’t want to go there.
Shame didn’t sit comfortably with me.

“You know what. Now spill.”

Dammit.
I took a deep breath as I
rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. “Fine. Remember when
we were juniors and I went to that party at Pi Kappa Phi? You
didn’t come with me because you wanted to study for
finals.”

“
Yeah, I said
you needed to study
too,
but you blew me off. I didn’t see you for two
days.”

“
Yeah, well,
I woke up naked the next morning, not knowing where I was, with a
killer headache and dried come all over my dick. To this
day,
I have no idea
who it was or how it happened. My mind is still a complete blank.”
Remembered shame washed over me and my cheeks burned.

“Oh.” That one little word held a heaviness
to it I didn’t like. “Are you…? Have you been… tested?”

“Fuck, yes. I literally ran to the clinic the
next day and was shitting myself for two weeks until the tests came
back. I’ve used condoms ever since. Waking up like that scared the
shit out of me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I knew something was
up when you avoided me for days. I thought it was me, you asshole.”
Alex punched me in the arm, a relieved yet pissed-off look on his
face.

“Ow. I was ashamed, all right? I didn’t want
you to know how stupid I was to get that drunk. Why do you think I
insisted you come to every party after that? I knew you’d cut me
off when I had too much and take me home. I was safe with you.”

Alex’s
features softened. “You
are
safe with me.”

I leaned in and cupped his cheeks, brushing
my lips softly over his. “I know.”

Alex searched my eyes. “And you’re not
stupid. You’re the bravest man I know. You saved my life.” I
shuddered at the memory, the fear resurfacing every time we had to
pass through a major city.

“You would’ve done the same thing.”

“I was scared shitless.”

I kissed him again. “I was scared too, and we
were both a little shaken. It’s over now, though, and we’re both
safe. Together.”

We lay together for a while in comfortable
silence, Alex’s heartbeat in my ear lulling me to sleep.

“We could go back to town, to the clinic to
get tested if you wanted. Together.” Alex’s voice vibrated through
his chest in a deep baritone.

“I’d like that.”

ALEX
AND
I were walking around the Alamo after
finishing a guided tour. It was late afternoon. We couldn’t avoid
all the big cities—some of the best places to see were in the most
populated areas—and we couldn’t travel through Texas without seeing
one of the most significant places in American history.

We wandered
around the stone mission, following a path that wound its way under
the shade of some large trees, sunlight peeking through with every
sway of the overhead branches in the breeze. It was a clear day but
the light wind held a chill to it and I clutched my jacket to me.
Alex and I didn’t hold hands as we
walked
but we were close to each
other, our shoulders brushing. There weren’t many people around
this time of the afternoon. The last tour had just finished and we
were slowly making our way back to Maude.

“
We’ve got
two days to get to Beaumont to help Elsie May’s cousin. How far is
it?” I asked as we ambled along the path. This was the part I
enjoyed most about the trip: the quiet, content feeling I had
whenever Alex was with me. We’d always been comfortable
around
each other, but
now it was different, more peaceful. We never felt the need to fill
the silence.

Alex turned
and smiled at me as we exited the Alamo into the parking lot. “If
we drove straight through it would take about five hours, but I
want to spend some time in Galveston, maybe stay
there
tomorrow night. Then it
would only be a couple hours’ drive to get to Beaumont.”

We climbed into Maude and said our goodbyes
to San Antonio, or we thought we did. We’d only been driving about
fifteen minutes as we headed toward our next RV site when I noticed
a warning light come on. I pointed at it while trying to keep my
eyes on the road. “What does this mean?”

Alex leaned
over to take a look. “
Temperature’s
up. Looks like
we’ve got a problem.”

Just as he finished talking, white smoke
started coming from the radiator at the front of Maude.

“Shit!” Alex pointed to a garage up ahead,
its neon lights still lit this late in the afternoon. “Pull over
there. Hopefully someone’s around who can help. If not, we’ll have
to call AAA.”

Luck was on our side. Not only was someone
still at the auto shop, but the guy seemed overjoyed to see us. We
climbed out of Maude as a man who appeared to be in his late
fifties approached, wiping his blackened hands on his
coveralls.

“
This is a
1983 VW Diesel Westfalia Vanagon. Water-cooled, not like the
earlier air-cooled ones, but it seems the water-cooled version
isn’t working too well for you right now.” He laughed at his joke
and it took all my effort not to roll my eyes. If our friendly
mechanic
was
in his fifties, he’d probably know a lot about
older cars. I looked
at
Alex, who shrugged. I put on my best happy face
and hoped this guy could help us.

“
Sure is,”
Alex said with a
smile,
like he knew what the guy was talking about.
“Any chance you’d be able to help us out? A warning light came on,
then the temperature spiked. Before we knew it, smoke was coming
out.”

“Yeah, it’s weird, isn’t it? The engine is in
the back of the vehicle, yet the radiator is in the front. Doesn’t
really make sense, but it works. For the most part.” He chuckled.
“Looks like you’ve got a busted hose. Let me grab a couple of tools
and I’ll have a look for you.”

Our friendly mechanic’s name was Mike and he
loved to work on older cars, stating it was a simpler time, not
like today’s cars where you needed a computer degree to be able to
figure out what was wrong with them. As he worked, he told us
stories about various road trips he’d taken with his wife and kids.
Alex and I looked on, feeling helpless and a little sad for Maude.
She’d done really well so far.