Authors: Shauna Allen
She could picture the woman’s confused face. “All right.”
Kyle started the car and pulled out to head home. “Are you at my old desk? Yours now, I guess?”
“Yes.”
Kyle smiled. “Open the top drawer and reach way toward the back. You should find a USB flash drive taped to the top.” She waited a few moments. “Did you find it?”
There were some muffled noises. “Uh, yes. I think I’ve got it.”
Kyle changed lanes and smirked. This was probably the closest she was ever going to get the feeling like James Bond. “That’s it. It’s a long story, but I had to protect it. When you open it, the files are named
Devil Boy
and
Satan’s Spawn.
”
Silence.
“I was having a particularly bad month,” she defended herself. “But it’s all there. That should be all you need now.”
She said her goodbyes and they hung up. But she couldn’t help how her heart caught wondering if Jed had been there and how he was faring with
Miz Watson
.
Kyle turned up the radio to full blast when her favorite Pink song came on and sang at the top of her lungs. Jed might not love her and she might not have everything she wanted, especially him, but darn it, she had a cute haircut, a great job, and she was going to Italy. Life wasn’t all that bad!
She turned into her condo’s parking lot and hopped out of her car. She checked her mail and waved at an elderly neighbor. Her stomach growled, making her wonder what she had in the fridge other than yogurt and condiments.
Once inside, she tossed her purse and keys down, flipped through her mail, and made a beeline for the kitchen. She tossed the junk mail away and dug out a TV dinner.
No, wait a minute
. She threw it back into the freezer. Tonight was a night for celebrating. She pulled out the bottle of wine that had remained untouched since her mother had been here last, poured herself a glass, and took a healthy sip. Then she picked up the phone and ordered herself a pizza with the works.
She moved to the dining room to boot up her laptop and pulled up the information about obtaining a passport. Just to make herself feel even better, she looked up her hotel in Rome again and starting making herself a tentative itinerary.
After a while, she sat back with a happy sigh and, a slight buzz. She glanced over. The bottle of wine was half empty.
Whoa, girl!
The doorbell rang.
She jumped up and went to get her pizza. It only caught her off guard for a moment when the delivery guy was bald with a big tattoo of a cross on his neck.
Just a moment, mind you
. After all, there was no real resemblance. But, she was going to have to get a grip.
She paid the man and went back inside to eat, ashamed that her foolish heart was still hoping for a miracle. She thought about just picking up the phone and calling Jed, but she knew she would never do it. She’d laid it all on the line and told him how she felt. If he didn’t know her well enough to know that nothing was going on between her and Charles any longer or to even give her a chance to talk to him and explain things, well, she certainly wasn’t going to beg him. She might love him, but not enough to make herself a doormat. Not again. Besides, she wanted to be loved in return. More than anything.
She pushed aside those painful thoughts and pulled out a slice of pizza. She let her mind drift across the ocean to the wonders she would soon see and taste and feel.
With her second slice of pizza demolished, she picked up the phone to call her mother. No time like the present to get this show on the road.
“Hello?” came her mother’s perfectly polished voice.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Kyle! Hello, Dear. How are you?”
She twirled the stem of her wine glass, thankful that she’d nearly topped off the bottle. “I’m good. You?”
“Fine.” There were voices in the background. “Your brother is here.”
“Really? With Daphne and Sabrina?”
A pause. “Yes. They came over for supper.” Another pause. “And Daphne and I talked some about the wedding plans.”
Oh, really?
“That’s nice.”
“Yes, we did have a nice time.”
Whoa
. She really sounded like she meant it. Was she actually warming to Bryan’s lady and her
child
? “Ah, well, I’m sorry I missed that. I worked a little later than I’d hoped today, then I got my hair cut.”
“You did?”
Kyle smiled and described her new do.
“Sounds lovely, darling. I can’t wait to see it. But we understand you’re working hard. Your father brags about you all the time up at the Club, you know. He’s just tickled pink how you’ve made a name for yourself.”
Kyle wasn’t sure what to say. Never, ever, had her father said any of these things to her. She’d had no idea. But, then again, he’d never been one to say much of anything if it wasn’t related to numbers, golf, or politics. The fact that he was proud of her blindsided her momentarily. She couldn’t find words as emotion crowded her throat.
She settled for, “Thanks, Mom.”
“I wish I’d had your head for numbers,” her mom continued, further blowing her mind, “but I was never very good at those things. I’ve not had an interest either, I’m afraid.” Kyle heard the clinking of dinnerware or glasses in the background and wondered if this was truly her mother speaking or if an alien had taken over her body. “So, I left those things up to your father and you children. But, I tried to teach you what I knew best. The
womanly
arts, so to speak. How to entertain and keep a home.” She sighed. “Hopefully it will be useful to you someday. But, if not, I’m proud of you either way, Kyle.”
There was no way this was her mother. Kyle was a little freaked out. “Is everything all right, Mom?” Where was the berating about what a disappointment she was? Her mother must be dying.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Uh, well, you’ve never said these kinds of things before.”
There was another pause and she heard Sabrina’s laughter in the background. “Well, I should have. I’m sorry.”
Kyle pulled the phone away from her ear and examined it. Yup, it appeared to be fully functioning.
“So, sweetie,” her mother continued, “did you just call to say hello, or did you need something?”
She thought a moment. There was a reason she called, but she had to reach for it past the shock of her mother’s unexpected new
I’m OK, You’re OK
attitude.
“I need my birth certificate. I’m getting a passport.”
“A passport?”
“Yes. I’m going on a trip.”
“Where?”
She just had to close her eyes and she could envision the Sistine Chapel. “Rome,” she said with reverence.
“Rome? Who are you going with?”
Ah, her old mother was back. Kyle stood and took her empty wine glass to the sink to rinse it out. “No one, Mom.”
They argued about the wisdom of her traveling halfway around the world by herself. In the end she finally convinced her mother she meant to go. There was no talking her out of it and she was coming to pick up her birth certificate that week.
Kyle hung up and got ready for bed. Just for fun, she taped a photo of the Roman Colosseum to her bedroom mirror. But there, below it on her dresser, was the sketch of her face. She reached out and traced the line of her jaw with the tip of her finger, wondering if Jed had done the same thing when he’d drawn it. What had he been thinking when he drew her tears?
She hugged it to her as she crawled into bed, knowing it was the only way to be close to him tonight. She glanced at the picture of the Colosseum across the room. It was her dream, true. But she would give it all up in a heartbeat if it meant she could have him. He was the deepest ache she’d ever known. But, she supposed, at least she got to feel what real love was like at least once in her life.
She put the sketch down on her bedside table and turned off the lamp.
Ah, well
. Some dreams were just not meant to come true. She rolled over with a heavy sigh. But,
man oh man
, how she wished she would’ve at least gotten to see all those tattoos!
Jed sat straight up in bed with sweat pouring down his face. He glanced down.
“Fuck!”
He hadn’t had a wet dream since high school. And now he was captive to his hormones again like a horny teenager. He jumped up and went straight to the shower. It still felt awkward to walk even though the cast had been off his leg for two weeks now. He’d spent as much time as he could trying to build his strength back up in the weakened limb, but it still felt like dead weight sometimes and ached like a bitch when the weather changed.
He turned on the shower and stepped under the lukewarm spray trying to forget the images that haunted his dreams.
Her fingers on his skin.
Her lips on his neck.
Her nipple in his mouth.
How she tasted. How she smelled. How she felt.
Her hot, inviting body welcoming his inside of her.
He opened his eyes, frustrated he was growing hard again.
He turned off the shower, snatched up a towel to dry off, and stormed out to get dressed. Why couldn’t he forget about her? Kyle was back with Charles where she belonged. He had to get a grip. She wasn’t his. She never had been. Her declaration of love had been a lie.
He shoved his legs into some jeans then padded to the kitchen and forced down some food before finding himself in his art room. His sanctuary. He turned on the stereo and popped in one of his blues CDs and sat down to sketch. He tried for calming, quiet things, but all he could draw were angry scenes. Fire and hellish mayhem. Demons, bloody skulls, . . . a busty Miss Muffet kissing a spider.
His phone rang. He glanced at the ID screen. His mother. Guilt ate at him, but he ignored the call. She’d been on him a little too much for comfort lately about Kyle and he wasn’t up for another round this morning. Maybe later. Hell, she was the reason he’d gone to Kyle in the first place. And look what that got him! A big ol’ face full of loverboy’s half-naked ass, that’s what.
He’d picked up the phone at least a hundred times to call Kyle and demand she explain what in the hell she was doing back with that bozo, but he’d given up each time. What did it matter? Muffet was back on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey, banging the fucking spider.
He slammed down his pencil and leaned backward with his head rolled back until he was staring at the ceiling. Not even his art and B.B. King could pull him from this funk. It was terminal.
“Might as well go get some real work done.”
He stood, cursing his still slightly weaker leg, and limped out of the room.
An hour later he was alone in the studio and enjoying the silence. He checked the messages and tinkered around with some designs. He was even able to upload some new photos to the studio’s website under his profile of his most recent and most impressive tattoos. He went a little crazy and rifled through Noble’s stuff and did the same for him. He figured he wouldn’t mind. He made a mental note to harass Michael into getting his own profile with photos started. He’d been so busy he hadn’t gotten around to doing it yet. Something about that made Jed slightly uneasy.
He glanced up when the bell over the front door rang a couple hours later. It was still too early for customers. His stomach clenched in an automatic reaction as Kierstan came in. It was as if she’d become a whole new creature these last few weeks since she’d been dating Blaine from Toxic D’s. And Jed still couldn’t wrap his brain around that one. She’d been in to work on time every night; she didn’t flirt and toss her tits in every male client’s face anymore; she was
pleasant.
It was all very strange. But he couldn’t undo his body and mind’s learned reaction to her after all these years.
She tucked her purse behind the counter and walked toward his office. She poked her head in with a shy smile. “Hi, Jed. I was hoping I’d catch you here. You got a few minutes?”
He loosened his grip on the pen in his hand. “I guess.” He was still wary of her, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
She stepped inside his office and sat across from him.
He waited, but she didn’t say anything. He raised a brow. “Well?”
She took a deep breath and let it out. “This is harder than I thought,” she said, apparently to herself. Then she looked him in the eye. “I’m leaving.”
He was afraid to hope. “Leaving?”
“Yes. Blaine and I are, well, we’re getting pretty serious now.” She glanced down at her lap then back up at his face. “We want to get married and we decided that I should get a fresh start, away from . . .”
He blinked as understanding dawned. “Away from me.”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Right. Well, fine.” He scrubbed his face with a hand. “I’m happy for you, I guess.” He forced the polite platitude.
“Thank you,” she said as tears filled her eyes. She dabbed them away and was silent for several moments before she finally spoke again. “You know, Jed, I’m so sorry for what I did to you.” She looked back up at him, her eyes pleading for forgiveness. “I’m sorry about Trevor, about Sam. It was never your fault, you know. I just said those things to hurt you.” Her voice broke.
“Don’t,” he warned. “Don’t go there.” He couldn’t. Not now. Probably not ever again.
“Well, still, I’m sorry. I was too immature back then to think of anybody but myself and I hated all the time you had to put into the business. Even if it
was
for us.” She took a wavering breath. “I wish what I have with Blaine could’ve been us. I really do. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”
He studied her tear-streaked face. She really seemed repentant. “I’m over it now.” It was all he could offer her today. And he was over it. Over her. He’d come to realize, even without her apology, that what she’d done to him wasn’t his fault and he’d done nothing to hurt her.
She nodded once and stood. “Oh, I almost forgot. The other reason I came in today was to talk to you about selling back my forty percent of the business.”
He stared at her in amazement.
She grinned through her tears. “You interested?”
“Yeah, I’m interested. What’s the catch?”
She sauntered to the door in the Kierstan-way he was used to. “No catch. Just gimme a fair price and accept my apology so I can get on with my life and we’ll call it even.”
She walked to the front and fetched her purse while he thought about it and reappeared a few seconds later. “So? What’s it gonna be, Jed? Surely you don’t have to think too hard on this one. You’ve wanted me to sell out practically from the beginning.”
He stood up behind his desk. “Sure. How do you wanna work this?”
She shrugged, appearing unconcerned with the details. “Just have your lawyer work up some papers and send them to me. I’ll check them over. If the numbers appear in order, I’ll sign it over and you can pay me. Sound good?”
“You trust me not to screw you?” he asked. “After all we’ve been through?”
She readjusted her purse strap. “Of course I trust you. I’ve seen you angry a thousand times, but I’ve never seen you do something malicious or intentionally cruel.” She eyed him up and down. “You loved me once. I can’t imagine you’d turn your back on your honor no matter what I’ve done.”
He wished he had the gumption to work her over like she’d done him, but in the end he knew she was right. He nodded. “Fine. We have a deal.” He reached out his hand.
She took a step in his direction so they could shake on their agreement.
“All right, then,” she said, stepping away. “I’ll see you around. Just get me those papers, okay?”
He nodded. “Sure thing.” He’d be getting on that the minute she left his office.
Just as she was out of his doorway, she spun back around, her perfume invading his space. “Sorry, one more thing.”
He wished she would just go. “What’s that?”
“I had lunch with Kyle yesterday.” She smiled her Cheshire Cat grin. “She is looking fierce, by the way, with a cute new haircut.”
He tilted his head as something unpleasant began to buzz in his veins. “And your point?”
“Oh, I just thought you might like to know how she’s doing. You were
friends,
right?”
He didn’t say anything.
She smirked. “Anyway, she’s getting ready to leave the country.”
That caught his attention. “Leave the country? When? For how long? Where’s she going?”
Kierstan laughed. “Boy, you’re full of questions for someone who didn’t seem to care a second ago.”
He shrugged. “Just curious.” But he was dying to know.
She studied his face and opened her mouth to speak, but snapped it shut again. “I don’t think I’ll tell you. You’ll have to ask her yourself. I’m outta here.” But before she left him, she tilted her head and spoke with all seriousness. “You know, of all the things I regret doing to you, I think the worst was getting between you and Kyle. I hope you don’t let my mistakes ruin something beautiful.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She sighed with a sad smile. “Of course you do. You let what happened between us harden your heart and I’m sorry for that. But she loves you, Jed.” She wouldn’t let him interrupt her, “She
loves
you. And I think we all know there is nothing going on with the old fiancé.”
“But—”
“Don’t be stupid.” She pivoted on her boot heels and sauntered away.
Don’t be stupid?
Don’t be stupid?!
Who in the hell did she think she was? He sat back down and scrubbed his hands across his head. Holy hell, could she be right?
He spun his chair around to study the framed picture of the woman under the weeping cherry tree with fresh eyes.
Kyle?
He leaned down and reached into the back recesses of his storage cabinet until he found what he was after. He opened the bottle of Jack Daniels and poured himself a generous shot. He studied the deep amber liquid that promised him oblivion and swirled it around the glass before chugging it down in one smooth swallow.
He reached over and turned on the radio. Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” belted out, reminding him of the drive to the lake. He poured a second shot and tipped it back, already feeling the pleasant warmth rising up from his stomach to his head.
Nice
.
He leaned back and sighed.
A couple shots and a couple perfect songs later, he glanced over, startled to see Michael standing in the doorway watching him. He hadn’t heard the bells over the door, but he was too content in his buzz to care all that much.
He gave a lazy half-smile. “Mike. What’s up? A little early, isn’t it?” He glanced at the clock on the wall. He didn’t think he’d been in here all that long, but it was creeping into early evening already.
Michael walked in and furrowed his brows. “Everything all right, boss? You been drinking?”
Jed reached over and turned down the radio. Shit. Mike was in AA. “A little. I guess I’m celebrating.” He tried to blink and clear his eyes because Michael suddenly seemed to have an aura of soft white light around him. Damn, he’d had too much to drink.
“Whatcha celebrating?”
He tucked the bottle of Jack back in the cabinet. “Kierstan is selling me her part of the business and moving on.” He waited a beat, knowing that Michael didn’t know the full story. “I don’t expect you to understand, but we have a complicated history and this was a long time coming.”
Mike nodded. “Then it’s a good thing?”
“It’s a great thing.” He smiled.
“Congratulations, boss. I’m happy for you.” Mike grinned and sat down. “You sure you’re all right? You keep blinking and looking at me funny.”
“I . . .”
Wow
. He’d never done acid before, but Jed would swear this must be what a trip was like. Mike was glowing like he’d been nuked with pearly glitter. So much so, that the rest of the room had fallen away like a reverse kaleidoscope.
“Jed? Are you sure you’re all right?” Michael’s face was truly concerned, but all Jed could see was the light and the . . .
Were those
wings?
He jumped up. “I think I drank too much.” He paced a few steps and turned back to Michael. Still white and glowy. “Oh, geez!”
“What’s wrong?”
He couldn’t look at him. “Dude, I think I’m hallucinating.” He covered his eyes with his hands and sat back down. “You’re glowing like a nuclear reactor.”
Michael didn’t say a word. Instead, a supernatural silence filled the room.
Jed finally peeked through his fingers. Mike sat still as a statue, not quite as lit up, but a gentle white light still hovered around his body. He looked perplexed for a fleeting moment, then he seemed to cue into something that was way beyond Jed’s comprehension at the moment.
Jed dropped his hands, slightly reassured that this hallucination seemed to be fading. Until Michael spoke.
“Do you believe in God, Jed?”
“What?”
“It’s a simple question. Do you believe in God?”
Jed’s mind and body were lulled by the liquor, but his heart cried out the answer. “Yes.”
Mike nodded once. “That’s very good.”
Jed’s eyes roamed over the gentle ebb and flow of the white light around Michael. It was as if it were living and breathing. What a crazy hallucination. Or maybe he needed to get his eyes checked. “You sure you don’t see that?”
“See what?” Michael asked.
“The light.” He pointed. “All around you.”
Mike smiled softly and, if anything, his light became more pronounced as if he were now proud of it. “So, Jedediah,” he said, snapping Jed’s attention back to his face. Nobody called him by his Christian name other than his mother. “I must know, if you believe in God, do you also believe that He is all-knowing in
all
things?”
Where was this conversation going? And since when was Mike so deep? “Uh, I guess so.”
“Even in matters of the heart?”
He rolled his eyes. “Sure, Mike. Why?”
The glow intensified and Jed had to squint. He got the distinct impression he’d made Mike irritated. “Well, Jedediah, I’m trying to lead you to the natural conclusion that soulmates are real and pre-destined by God, your Father. Because up until this point, you’ve been very difficult and uncooperative.”