Inside Seka - The Platinum Princess of Porn (44 page)

So I feel his hand sliding down my back to my butt. I pull slightly and he says, “That hurt.”

“I know.” But he did the same thing again. So I pulled harder and said, “You see those two guys over there?” I pointed to my two rather large male friends who weren’t bodyguards but could have passed for them.

He said, “Yeah.”

“Well, if I so much as nod towards them, they’ll come over and pulverize you.” He behaved very nicely after that.

I tried to get more events together for “The Golden Boys and Girls of Classic Porn,” but it became an exercise in frustration I soon gave up on. I would get a call for an appearance and I’d ask, “Will it just be me?” If so, I would consider the venue and wonder if I’d have to sit around all day in an empty store or something, so I’d ask if they’d go for a whole bunch of us. Usually, they’d jump for joy, and with all our names on the ads, people would flock to the events. Since we’d all sell photos, autographs, and swag, we’d all make out.

Since it worked so well, I figured there would be reciprocation. What a cool set-up we could all have!

Nope.

The business had ruined us all when it came to money. Everyone thinks porn messes up your mind as far as sex and love goes. No, at least not for me. For me, and for most of the others, the mind-fuck was money. We’d been stars in a multi-billion dollar industry — bigger by some accounts than regular Hollywood. But the actors, the stars up on the screen? We made pennies, if that. Crumbs from the table.

We should have had a union. We should have had something. I know a bunch of people got together during the AIDS era — Sharon Mitchell and Bill Margold come to mind — to organize us for better health services, but as far as salary goes, we were still treated like children working in Third World sweat shops.

What it did to most people’s heads is make them paranoid and greedy — greedy over pennies. It was every man and woman for himself or herself. We all could have helped each other more economically but instead, if someone got a gig or a lead of some sort, they kept it to themselves, even if it was for just a couple hundred dollars. Together, we could have been a power — we could have
had
power. But once a person has been burned over and over again, they get that way — like squirrels hiding their nuts.

When I see people like Ron Jeremy and Nina Hartley, people who are still making movies, and I watch some of their older stuff, I don’t see what other people see. Others notice the difference between age and youth. Me, I see the faces of people who’ve been ripped off so many times it’s changed who they once were. The contrast between the youthful faces of people happy to be making $200 a day, to the faces of people who now realize a lot of people became multimillionaires off their labors. Money that’s gone and will never be theirs.

I am no better than any of them. My wanting us to all band together was less altruistic than realistic — it was a way to make more money, or at least I thought so. I’ve gotten so paranoid from being burned so many times I call a lawyer when someone asks me to sign a voter registration card!

Events like the AVNs are just the tip of the iceberg. We porn people get invited to all sorts of functions. My first horror/sci-fi/comics show was New Jersey’s Chiller Convention in April 2005. I thought, “This is going to be interesting,” because I had no idea how I would do at a show of this nature. I was a little frightened. One of the things I can’t stand to do is bomb. But I ended up doing very well. I hadn’t been out doing appearances for a while and figured they wouldn’t remember me, but they were so nice and polite. It was also good for my ego to get the response and kinds of comments I got.

“I wondered where you were.”

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

“When are you coming back?”

“Why don’t you do more appearances?”

I didn’t understand the connection between sci-fi, horror, and porn, but somehow it’s there. You know it’s weird when guys dressed as
Star Wars
storm troopers come up to the porn queen asking for an autograph, but it happens. These things often blend in classic TV and movies in general, as well as professional wrestling and regular pro sports, so when I attend I never know who I’ll run into. There’s no connective tissue at all, just famous and semi-famous people of all sorts, all congregated under one roof. Quite the autograph orgy.

The fans are just awesome. When you spend part of your life in a field a hell of a lot of people look down upon, it’s overwhelming when you get a positive and warm response.

It’s fun for me to meet some of the celebrities. Peter Tork from The Monkees is very sweet. Donnie Most and Anson Williams from
Happy Days
were so supportive. They gave me a hug and kiss and said, “Why don’t you send some of the people in your line down our way?” There was real camaraderie and respect for each other, much more respect than at adult industry shows. These are professionals who enjoy seeing each other do well. A pleasant environment makes the day go by and there’s no place for jealousy and pettiness. They’re generally nice, funny, interesting people who have more going on in their lives than just living off a show or movie they did decades ago. I think that makes a difference, too.

I met WWE Hall of Famer “Luscious” Johnny Valiant, who sat right next to me. Johnny sold out Madison Square Garden four times as half of the colorful Valiant Brothers circa 1974–75. Johnny’s an actor/comedian now and had a recurring bit part on
The Sopranos.
He’s a very funny and warm guy with a one-man show.

Sitting next to Johnny was one of my old co-stars, Richard Bolla. Nobody recognized him at first because he has not aged particularly well. Also known as R. Bolla and with a dozen or so other names on his filmography, he is best known for the notorious
Debbie Does Dallas
with reluctant adult star Bambi Woods, who soon after left the industry and basically disappeared off the face of the earth. Bolla was also a leading man in low-budget European films and was signing the DVD release of the infamous
Cannibal Holocaust,
which actually had the actors killing live animals on screen.

Lovely.

Bolla spent much of the weekend reminiscing about the days when he was paid $500 to fly around the world and have sex with beautiful women. Nice work if you can get it, I guess.

Frank Vincent from
The Sopranos
was sitting behind me. He’s a gorgeous man, and one of his daughters was helping him out. She’s a pretty girl in her twenties and was flirting with my boyfriend in a friendly sort of way. Turnabout’s fair play, and at one point she turned to me and said, “Are you flirting with my dad?”

I responded jokingly, “I sure am.”

It was that kind of weekend.

I also met Lou Ferrigno and I absolutely adore him. I’ve always loved him and thought he was a really incredible person. I also think he has a better body than “The Ah-nold.” I knew you had to stand directly in front of him so he can read your lips, so I did just that and told him, “I’ve always admired you and would like a picture with you.” He was very nice and polite. But my boyfriend went over and talked to him, not realizing Lou is deaf. There wasn’t a helluva lot of conversation and he came back to the table assuming Lou was rude. When I explained the situation they started chatting again and now we’re all fast friends.

Speaking of behemoths, I love working shows with the pro wrestlers. At the 2005 Hollywood Collectors Show in Burbank I sat near Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, Nikolai Volkoff, Lanny “The Genius” Poffo, and The Iron Sheik. They’re all very sweet considering they could probably kill you with their bare hands.

There’s nobody on the planet like “Sheiky.” He’s the real deal — his on-screen persona is basically the same as in real life. He’s a lovely guy, but also quite volatile. An interviewer really set him off with one question. Before we knew it, his eyes were blazing fire and his voice was booming every politically incorrect comment imaginable.

“Fuck you! I’ll fuck that Hulk Hogan in the ass and humble him!” Luckily, with his thick Iranian accent I don’t think the audience had any idea what the heck he was saying. Strangely enough, it was me and not “Sheiky” who almost didn’t get booked for the event. The stigma of my porn past frightened the lovely host, Ray Court, who puts on a classy event. It took a lot of recommendations from other guests, who vouched for my behavior as “ladylike,” to finally change his mind.

If anyone sees me at these events, I try to look glamorous, but I’m dressed conservatively compared to what you see at the AVN events. On the other hand, I had to be careful at the Hollywood Collectors Show in just how risqué my merchandise display could be.

After the show, we all went out to dinner along with talent agent Tony Pellicone. Tony is a colorfully loud and boisterous, short, fat, and shaved bald ex-sailor. He’s one of the characters you meet in the business. Tony makes and spends money like water. “Are you making money?” someone would ask Tony. “I don’t know, I just want to keep my boys on the road,” referring to his beloved wrestlers.

I guess I was one of the boys now, too.

Tony also brought me into New York for a rather expensive party for the late Captain Lou Albano. We had a blast over at Ashford and Simpson’s swanky club, The Sugar Bar, with Handsome Jimmy Valiant, Super-fly Jimmy Snuka, King Kong Bundy, tons of other wrestlers, and a killer big band — New York City Swing — playing behind host Johnny Valiant. It was wonderful. The only thing was, Tony had neglected to charge a cover. With free food, entertainment, and a host of celebs to pay, there was little chance for ol’ Tony to recoup his money, not that he seemed to care at the time.

Whisked away into a limo with a sleepy Sheik, we all did interviews on a late night live TV talk show, ending a great evening.

Tony later disappeared, allegedly owing some people money. Hey, he treated me great the few times he booked me. To the penny in fact. So who am I to judge?

Sometimes events don’t do well, which make for awfully long days. I was booked at a convention in Baltimore with the still handsome blaxploitation star Fred Williamson, other name actors, and a ton of wrestlers including the Wild Samoans and The Rock’s dad, Rocky Johnson. There was literally a room full of wrestlers who had sold out huge arenas around the world, but I don’t think a hundred fans came in the entire day. I guess some promoters know what they’re doing and some are just in over their heads — simple as that. I got paid in full up front, but it still didn’t make for the greatest experience.

I also met Sybil Danning and her husband Horst at the Hollywood Collector’s Show. A very striking and handsome woman, we have several friends in common. She’s just a really cool lady who always has different projects and movies going on. Sybil’s so gracious and elegant to everyone who comes up to her table; she’s not standoffish at all.

Another favorite of mine is Larry Thomas, “The Soup Nazi” from Seinfeld. He’s a distinguished character actor. I saw this person, slight and shy, standing at one convention after-party dressed in a checkered shirt and jeans. When I would look at him he’d stare down at the floor like I had caught him peeking at me or something. So I walked over to get a beer and as I passed him I said, “Hello, how are you?”

He said, “My God, I always wanted to meet you!”

Then it hit me. “The Soup Nazi?!”

He grinned and we hit it off immediately.

I met Erik Estrada at the Hollywood Collector’s Show. A funny little bastard with a million watt smile, he’s totally energetic. I was over at Erik’s table looking at some of his stuff because I needed a couple of autographs for friends. I said, “Just tell me how much they are.”

“Are you crazy? I’m not charging you.”

Katey Sagal from
Married with Children
was sitting there, too, and she had this mug on her like she was pissed off at the world. I thought, “Maybe she doesn’t feel well today or something.”

Erik glanced at her, then he jokingly said about me, “Everything I know, I learned from this woman.”

“Well,” Ms. Sagal responded, “I really don’t need to hear this.”

I said, “What’s your problem?”

She responded venomously, “It’s just disgusting!”

“Oh, really?”

I thought it was humorous. She had no idea about my industry or who I was. In fact, she’s probably someone who has never seen an X-rated film and never even talked to someone in the business. It’s hard to get pissed off over stupidity and ignorance. She just turned and walked away.

Erik looked at me sheepishly and said, “Oh, don’t take it seriously. Some people are just like that.” Don’t I know it.

Another “wonderful” experience was at Chiller when I met Val Kilmer. I had looked at the Chiller website and was excited to meet him because I thought he was a good actor. Plus, he had done the John Holmes movie,
Wonderland.
I had probably worked with John more than anyone. I asked one of the security guards if I could meet Val. He was sitting next to someone who I believe was his manager. When I mentioned who I was and about my close relationship with John, the manager was kind of a cold fish. He hit me up for thirty dollars for a photo.

Kilmer turned around and looked at me for a second. When I told Val the same thing I had said to his manager, he coldly responded, “I heard you already. So did everyone else in the line.”