Into the Deep 01 (34 page)

Once I’d gotten that through my thick head, I was pretty excited about getting back to him. Yes, I was nervous, and yes, I had no idea what our future held, but that would be the same in any relationship.

We got back to Edinburgh around five o’ clock. Lowe walked at my side as we ambled back to our apartments and as soon as we hit the Royal Mile, he grinned at me.

“What?” I frowned up at him.

“You. You’re a bundle of energy. You’re dying to get back to him.”

“Am not,” I grumbled petulantly.

Lowe laughed. “You are too. Did I tell you Jake Caplin is the luckiest son of a bitch I’ve ever met?”

“What am I now? Your soundboard for smooth talking? If I am, I’m giving you two big thumbs up on that one.”

Chuckling, Lowe threw his arm around my shoulders. “So fucking cute.”

I frowned. “You’re going to keep calling me that because you know I hate it, right?”

“Oh yeah.”

Despite growling at him in irritation, underneath the snarl I felt easier and more assured that Lowe was acting cool. We hadn’t talked much the last two days and I was worried that I might’ve wrecked our friendship. There was no need to worry. With Lowe, what you saw, you got, and he meant it when he said he was rooting for me.

Claudia, Denver, Rowena, and I said goodbye to the guys on the Cowgate, my eyes darting up to their building before I hurried to follow my friends back to ours. I did not expect to be greeted by a wide-eyed Maggie as Claud and I strolled into the kitchen.

“Well, is it true?” Maggie asked, excitedly shoving the papers in front of her to the side. “Did Jake Caplin break up with Melissa Bouchard for you?”

I blinked rapidly, feeling the color leave my cheeks. How had news traveled that quickly?

“Oh my God, he did?” If it was possible her eyes widened even more. “Gemma is not going to be happy. You know she and Melissa are friends, right?”

Actually, I didn’t know that. Fabulous. Now I’d have to live with Gemma giving me dirty looks for the next four months. Blowing the breath out between my lips, I made a sad face at Claudia. “I need a drink.”

Claudia tried not to laugh at my uncharacteristic pout and failed. “I think we have vodka somewhere.”

“That’ll do it.”

The buzz from my two shots of vodka had worn off, which was probably why I was a nervous wreck by the time nine o’clock came along. It turned out that everyone was meeting at Milk because the guys were doing a set.

I followed Claudia past the bar toward the archway at the end of the room and shook out my hands, trying to fight off the churning in my stomach. I was not a nervous person by nature and I really hated it that Jake could get me into such a state.

However, as soon as our eyes met across the room, the nerves transformed into excited butterflies and Claudia smiled at me. We made our way through the cluttered room, dodging chairs and rounding tables, and the whole time my eyes never left Jake’s. He stood when he saw us, and Denver, the only member of The Stolen not onstage setting up, followed his gaze at the same time Rowena did.

Everything and everyone but Jake disappeared as he moved around the table and came to a stop inches before me. I leaned back and gave him my best cocky smile. “So you’re the mysterious guy I’m supposed to be meeting,” I said, in reminiscence of the first thing he’d ever said to me.

Recognizing it, Jake’s eyes glittered. “The mysterious newbie. Jake,” he offered me his hand, his expression teasing.

I took it, feeling a sense of peace slide through me as we clasped hands. “Charley.”

“I know. You’re famous. Supergirl.”

I laughed, forcing myself not to lean into him for a kiss. We were taking things slow, after all, and keeping our relationship a quieter affair in public for Melissa’s sake. Looking deep into Jake’s eyes, I knew he was feeling the pull too and he gave me a regretful little smile before nodding his head toward the table. “Sit. I’ll get you a drink.”

“Beer.” I smiled back at him and headed around the table to sit in the empty seat beside the one he’d just vacated.

While Jake was at the bar, Denver joined the band just as the manager of Milk hopped up onto the stage and scratched his thick beard with an amused curl to his lip. “If ye don’t know who these guys are by now, then ye’re definitely no regulars. There has been a fair amount of women visiting Milk these last few months, which I think has more tae dae wi’ the effect these guys have on their knickers than ma inexhaustible charm.”

We laughed and I felt an immense amount of pride rush through me for The Stolen. My friends really were awesome and glancing over at Claudia sitting across the table grinning up at the stage, I knew she felt that pride too.

“Don’t let their pretty boy façades fool ye. These guys are phenomenally talented. So without further ado, back from their trip home tae the States, Milk presents The Stolen.”

We whooped and catcalled as the manager smiled at the guys and then bounced offstage. Matt hit the drums, leading them into one of my favorite upbeat tracks that Beck had co-written with Lowe. Listening to Lowe’s smooth, deep voice, I was lost for a while until I sensed Jake’s eyes on me. Turning my head ever so slightly, I met Jake’s gaze as he approached with beers in hand. He carefully handed Claud hers, eyes still on me, and then he rounded the table. Jake sat down next to me and casually shifted his chair closer. He draped his arm around the back of my seat and just like that, I lost my focus, Lowe’s voice becoming a muffled hum in my ears.

Jake wasn’t even touching me and every single part of me was absolutely aware of every single part of him. We sat like that for four songs and then the guys stopped for a break.

By this point I was having difficulty breathing and when I chanced a look at Jake, his dark eyes were burning. Being close, knowing we both wanted to be closer, and doing our best to be respectful … well, it was a sick kind of torment.

“The guys sound great tonight,” I said loud enough for him to hear.

Jake nodded and leaned a little closer. “They always sound great.” I gave him a teasing smile at his devotion and he shrugged. “I’m a groupie. You know … without the sex.”

“Well, that’s a shame. They’d be lucky to have you.”

He smirked. “That’s true. And they do all want me. I’ve remained strictly friends with all of them so I don’t upset their band dynamic. It’s been particularly difficult for me. They’re all very handsome.”

Lips trembling with laughter, I nodded gravely. “Quite the temptation.” I leaned closer. “But let me in on the secret. Who would you have chosen … groupie.”

Deadpan, Jake quirked an eyebrow. “I thought that would be obvious.” He nodded to the stage where the guys were chatting and taking sips of water. “Matt. Look at him. That’s all raw animal magnetism right there.”

When I turned to look up at Matt, he was rubbing a hand towel under his sweaty pits.

I threw my head back in laughter and turned to Jake to find him smiling at me in that way—that way he used to. That way that said he adored me completely.

Terrified of that look melting every single one of my defenses, I turned back to the stage … and immediately frowned. Beck had jumped off the small platform to talk to a blond girl who’d approached the band. Beck said something with a flirtatious tilt to his mouth and the girl leaned her hand on his chest and laughed, stepping into his body. Eyes lit up Beck continued to chat with the girl, and his hand dropped to her hip to hold her close.

I looked at Claudia. Uneasiness moved through me at the sight of Claudia’s pale cheeks and lowered gaze.

If I, a person on the outside of their bizarre relationship, thought that Claudia and Beck had only grown closer over the winter break, then it came as no surprise that Claudia must’ve been feeling that way too. Unfortunately, Beck was a tool, and I would never understand him. For a guy who seemed so concerned about Claud’s feelings, he sure had a nice way of trampling all over them.

“She terrifies him,” Jake’s deep voice murmured in my ear and despite my anger at Beck, Jake still managed to make the hair on the back of my neck rise.

I turned sharply to him, frowning. “What?”

Jake nodded at Beck. “He cares about Claudia more than any girl. Ever. I know that for a fact. I also know he’s pretty messed up when it comes to women. He doesn’t mean to hurt her.”

Shaking my head, I shot my friend another worried look. “She’s going to have to walk away before he breaks her heart.”

Strong, warm fingers threaded through mine and tightened. “I hope she gives him a chance first.”

Staring up into Jake’s sincere eyes, I knew then he wasn’t just talking about Beck and Claudia. Swallowing past the lump of emotion in my throat, I nodded gently. “I know she’ll try.”

It became quickly apparent that Jake and I had very little self-control. Or at least we weren’t good with temptation.

Our decision to take things slow meant we hung out with our friends like we had for the last few months. There was no kissing or cuddling or anything remotely sexual. Okay, not going to lie … there was a lot of eye-fucking going on.

The first week passed quickly and without incident. Kind of. We’d returned to classes and every day at the university, I’d dreaded bumping into Melissa. I knew from my roommate Gemma that Melissa was having a hard time. I knew this because Gemma hostilely informed me of her condition before endeavoring to treat me like Hester Prynne from
The Scarlet Letter
. If I walked into the kitchen and Gemma and one or both of the other girls were there, she’d cease talking as though I wasn’t good enough to be privy to her conversations.

On campus I passed her between classes and she glared at me before murmuring something to her companions that made them wrinkle their nose at me, as if I smelled bad.

I ignored this bitchy, childish behavior because frankly, I couldn’t give a shit what she thought. Unfortunately, I did care what Melissa thought, so when I turned down one of the book stacks on the third floor of the library and came face to face with her, I pretty much wished I were
anywhere
else in the world.

Our eyes met as Melissa looked up from her book. As I stared into her wounded, broken expression, I felt like she’d punched her fist into my chest and squeezed my heart.

Feeling sick, for the first time in as long as I could remember my bravado failed me, and I trembled a little as Melissa put the book back on the shelf and walked slowly toward me. Not once did I think about dropping my gaze. I owed her that much.

She halted in front of me and I stopped breathing as I took in the dark circles under her eyes, the sharpness in her cheekbones that hadn’t been there before Christmas break.

It felt like forever we just stared at one another, the sounds of pages turning, computer mice clicking, hushed murmurings, and soft footsteps all seeming incredibly loud in the taut atmosphere.

Melissa blinked, the corners of her pretty mouth dipping. “I …” She shook her head, her eyes dim with pain as she continued softly, “I really want to hate you.”

Remembering the days after my breakup with Jake, remembering the ache and needles of pain in every nerve, bone, and muscle, remembering the stifling feeling that came over me as I had to pay witness to Melissa’s relationship with Jake, the only thing I could say was, “I know.”

A tear slipped down her cheek at my response and before I could say anything else, she quickly swiped it away and brushed past me.

At her departure I sucked in a huge gulp of air and leaned back against the shelves, wishing life wasn’t so goddamn complicated.

Later that night I told Jake about the encounter as we walked to the movies. The two of us were quiet all that night, and for the next week it was a little bit easier not to give into the temptation of one another.

That wasn’t to say the pull wasn’t still intense.

In order to somehow avoid the pull, Jake and I had actually stopped spending so much time together. It was three weeks after our return from Fort William, the end of January, and we’d decided to spend yet another date at the movies because it meant at least two hours of time where we could pretend not to be focused on one another.

We’d both fallen in love with this small art deco theater in an area called Morningside, about a thirty-minute walk from the university. The theater offered leather recliners and large, comfortable leather sofas as well as ordinary cinema seats. Jake and I usually got recliners so we weren’t sitting too much in each other’s space, but on the eventful night when we kicked off our five-day ban, we could only get a sofa together.

As soon as we sat on that small sofa, I knew it was a bad idea. We’d spent the last few weeks ignoring the sexual chemistry between us, which meant we’d pretty much been ignoring our relationship and continuing on as we’d done before the Christmas break. Claudia told me she got that we were trying to be kind to Melissa, but whether or not we were sleeping together wasn’t going to change the fact that Melissa assumed we were.

Honestly, by this point I was with Claudia, but just as Jake was willing to prove himself to me, I was willing to respect the memory of his and Melissa’s relationship for him.