Into the Deep 01 (38 page)

But it wasn’t true. Not to Jake. Their age had nothing to do with it. They’d loved each other. And waking up out of his fog three months after leaving Lanton to realize he’d lost her forever had, along with the day of Brett’s death, been the worst of his life. Luckily, he had parents who understood and helped him through it. A long time ago, his dad had let his work take over his life, neglecting his wife and young family. Jake’s mom had left him. It scared the living crap out of Logan Caplin and he’d desperately fought to win her back. It meant Logan understood and he did his damnedest to get his son through it.

Jake was glad his dad had gotten his happy ending.

At least one of them had.

Watching Charley as she processed his apology, Jake studied every inch of her face. At first glance, someone might say she wasn’t a knockout like her friend Claudia, but she was very pretty with delicate features. But when you looked again, there was something about Charley that took her beyond pretty, beyond beautiful. She was perfect to him, even when she wasn’t.

Her brows puckered together as she asked quietly, “Move on from me? Or from there?”

Thoughts moving in the entirely wrong direction, Jake decided to answer honestly this time. “From there. From you too. You were a part of it, as much as I didn’t want you to be.”

For the first time since she’d sat down, Jake detected a hint of annoyance in her tone as she replied, “Then it’s a good thing you didn’t come back, if that’s the way you still see it.”

As much as he was glad to observe some emotional reaction from her, it was quickly becoming clear to him that he wanted to see her again and he couldn’t see her again if he pissed her off. He guessed she’d only want to see him again if she still felt a modicum of something, anything, toward him.

At Denver’s party her reaction had implied she wasn’t unmoved by their situation, but her attitude the night before at Teviot and now again sitting across from him suggested she was. Confused, Jake hedged his words carefully to see if he could get her to admit one way or another how she felt. She definitely had been a lot easier to read when they were together. “Charley, all I remember now about you is the good stuff. I let all that other shit go. You were the best friend I ever had. I miss you. I’ve always missed you and regretted how I left it. But at the party … the way you looked at me … that was hard. I’d somehow convinced myself that you would be indifferent about it all. You quickly dissuaded me of that.”

To his relief, Charley relaxed against her seat. “I know it wasn’t easy for you and your family, Jake. I know that’s the biggest understatement of the century … I tried, though, I tried to understand, and as much as I want to, I can’t excuse what you did to me because of what happened. That doesn’t mean your apology doesn’t help. It does. Thank you.”

Tenderness toward her rose in him and he found himself smiling at her. For all her cockiness and smart-assery, Charley had always been one of the kindest people he’d ever met. She’d tried to be there for him so much after Brett died. God, she’d tried to be there for him when it was happening, and he’d been so proud of how she’d handled it. Even trying to save Brett’s life. She was the one person in the world who hadn’t deserved the shit he’d given her. Nothing could change what he’d done, or take away how badly he felt about it. However, he had the chance now to try to make it up to her as much as he could, to be a friend and prove to her that he wasn’t the bad guy she thought he’d turned out to be.

He was still Jake.

Before he could stop himself or think of the consequences, he said abruptly, “I want us to be friends.”

“What?”

Instead of using her disbelief at his suggestion to back out of something he knew Melissa would definitely have a hard time dealing with, Jake continued on in hope of persuading his ex to give him time to prove himself. “We’re both here for the year. We were great friends once …”

His hope was quickly dashed as Charley stood and threw money for her coffee on the table. “Look, Jake, I’m sorry I reacted that way to you at the party, and I promise that from now on, if I see you around I’ll be polite. You don’t deserve any more shit in your life. But it’s been a while. We’re different people now. Let’s just leave it at that.”

Before he could get another word out, she turned and strode away from him, unconsciously beautiful and consciously out of reach.

A fist of pure, unadulterated pain twisted in his chest and Jake sat back feeling breathless. Leaning his elbows on the table, his head in his hands, he fought to catch his breath.

Jesus
.

He was still in love with her.

Hands shaking, Jake reached for the last of his coffee to soothe his suddenly parched throat.

He was still in love with her.

I’m still in love with her
.

His insides felt suffocated. Jake didn’t know how else to describe it.

It was a good thing she didn’t want anything to do with him. Feeling this way about her wasn’t fair to Melissa and in the end, it did neither of them any good.

Charley had done the right thing.

Exhaling heavily, Jake stood, pulling his wallet out and shoving a ten-pound note on the table, overtipping the irritating bartender and not even noticing. Instead he walked out of Teviot in a fog.

Next time he saw Charley, he’d just do as she wanted, leave her alone, and give her a polite nod hello.

Jake rubbed a hand through his hair, ignoring the knifelike pain in his chest at the thought, and knowing for certain that next time he saw Charley, he’d probably do everything in his power to persuade her that spending the next year of college in his company wasn’t such a bad idea.

Cursing inwardly, Jake shoved his hands in his jeans and headed toward New Town where he was meeting up with Melissa. Melissa, his girlfriend. A sweet girl, a kind girl, a cute girl, and his friend whom he loved.

It had taken him a while to come to the decision to start dating her seriously, but he’d finally made that decision under the realization that he was never going to fall
in
love with a girl the way he’d fallen for Charley. If he couldn’t have Charley, he’d have to settle for attraction and affection.

He’d battled with that decision because he thought Mel deserved better, but she’d convinced him she wanted to be with him, no matter what.

They both hadn’t factored in the consequences of Charley’s reappearance in his life. For a while, he’d let himself forget what it was like to be around her.

It was peace. It was war. It was excitement. It was contentment. It was exhilaration. It was soothing. It was heat. It was calm.

It was everything.

Thoughts betraying his girlfriend, Jake gritted his teeth, wishing he had it in him to let go of Charley once and for all. But as he passed her building, he glanced up at the windows and wished away his last wish on wishing for the chance to spend more time with her.

For as it turned out, Jake Caplin was a bit of a masochist.

Or maybe, no matter how much the evidence told him otherwise, Jake just couldn’t give up on the idea that there would always be a Jake and Charley.

Jake and Charley’s story hit me like a freight train one day, and their connection was so epic I had to drop everything to write it down on paper. I want to thank my mum for listening to me prattle incessantly about their story, and for giving me much needed feedback on the first draft.

A huge thank you to my agent Lauren Abramo, for not only always working incredibly hard for me and my work, but for also providing me with valued creative advice regarding
Into the Deep
. Your support and enthusiasm never fails to blow me away, Lauren.

The final edition of this book wouldn’t be nearly so polished if it wasn’t for the eagle eye of my immensely talented editor Jennifer Sommersby Young. Jenn, thank you! You put up with my obsession with adverbs so patiently, and your input into shaping this work was invaluable. You rock my wordy world!

I’d also like to thank my Hellcats, not only for their constant support, but for their opinions when I was playing around with font for this cover. You are so patient and kind and I love all your guts!

I always like to thank at least one blogger. I mean, I thank you all because you’re all phenomenal, however, I’d especially like to thank Natasha Tomic of Natasha is a Book Junkie. Natasha, you go above and beyond, and your enthusiasm and support really means everything to us authors. Thank you.

And finally to my readers, thank you for everything. I love your guts, too.

Samantha Young is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author from Stirlingshire, Scotland. She’s been nominated for the Goodreads Choice Award for Best Author and Best Romance for her international bestselling novel ON DUBLIN STREET.

For more info on Samantha’s adult fiction visit
http://www.ondublinstreet.com

For info on her young adult fiction visit
www.samanthayoungbooks.com