Into the Night (36 page)

It was time to end things between them. She knew saying good-bye was going to hurt, that she would miss so many things about Nathan. But she knew it was much easier to shut the door on someone else than have it shut on her.
Their
story was done. It was time for her to move on and heal.

A soft knock on the door startled Nicole out of her troubling thoughts, and she glanced from Holly to Valerie, who stood just inside the bedroom.

“I heard you two talking in here a while ago and thought I’d give you a break,” the other woman said, her gaze compassionate. Then, in a lower voice, she said, “Nathan is waiting to talk to you in the other room.”

“Thanks,” Nicole said, even though she had no intention of having a long, drawn-out conversation with Nathan about them.

Nathan wanted to talk, but for her, there was nothing left to discuss.

*   *   *

Nathan glanced up from the information he and Caleb were reviewing on his laptop as Nicole entered the living room. He was quick to notice she avoided eye contact with him—not that he was surprised. Everything about her body language told him that sometime in the past six hours she’d spent by Holly’s bedside, she’d erected emotional barriers and was already closing herself off to him … and anything between them beyond this case.

Last night, she’d changed from her jester costume to a large T-shirt and a pair of drawstring shorts Caleb had given her to wear. She’d scrubbed her face clean, and except for the dark circles beneath her eyes, she appeared like a young girl herself. She also looked worn out, and he knew her exhaustion was both emotional and physical.

For now, he’d let business take precedence.

She stood across the room from where Nathan and Caleb were sitting on the sofa. “I found out from Holly that her mother and father aren’t together, and she lived with her mother before running away.”

“We know,” Nathan said. “We have a full background report on her. She’s listed as a runaway, and she’s only fifteen years old, which helps us finally nail Sloane. We contacted her mother about an hour ago to let her know we have Holly.”

A troubled look passed across Nicole’s features. “How did her mother react?”

“She was shocked and happy her daughter was alive and okay.” A normal response in Nathan’s opinion. “Why?”

She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. “Because the two of them didn’t have a great relationship. According to Holly, her mother spent more time with her various boyfriends than with her.”

Nathan sensed where Nicole was heading with her comments, and knew he had to get her to start cutting those emotional ties to Holly, despite whatever the girl’s family relationships had been. “Her mother is on her way from California to pick her up. She should be here in a few hours.” He said softly, “You need to let it go, Nicole.”

The concern in her eyes shone bright. “I just don’t want to take her out of one bad situation and place her in another. She might be better off with her father, even though he’s stationed in Germany.”

“It’s not our choice to make,” Caleb cut in, not bothering to temper the bluntness of his words. For him, this was a cut-and-dried situation, and while Nathan knew that deep inside Caleb was sympathetic, his boss handled all his cases objectively.

“I’ll be taking Holly to The Onyx with me. Valerie will stay with her until her mother arrives,” Caleb continued, making it clear this was the end of Nicole’s involvement with the girl. “We’ll probably hold Holly at the hotel for a few days so the FBI can talk to her and everything gets straightened out. Then she’ll be released to her mother’s custody.”

“Okay,” Nicole said, though the stunned look on her face told Nathan she wasn’t dealing well with the brusque way Caleb was handling the situation. She was having difficulty separating herself from Holly and accepting that her part in the case was done.

Caleb stood and crossed the room to Nicole, extending his hand to shake hers. “I want to thank you for your help,” he said, the sentiment genuine. “We appreciate everything you’ve done to help get Angela back to her parents, and we’ll handle everything else from here.”

Nathan winced inwardly. Caleb’s words sounded like a cool dismissal. But Nathan knew how his boss operated and he was treating Nicole, and the success of the mission, in a professional manner. In Caleb’s mind, he’d already moved on to the investigative part of the case and the feds’ involvement to take down Sloane.

Caleb headed into the kitchen, leaving Nathan alone with Nicole. He stood up, more than a little tired himself. He’d stayed up all night with Caleb working on the case. They desperately needed a break before the shit really hit the fan with Sloane, and he also needed to get Nicole somewhere safe. After discussing the options with Caleb, they’d both agreed she’d be secure in her apartment until everything was resolved, since Sloane didn’t know who she was.

“You’ve had a long weekend,” he said, his voice low and soothing. “I’m going to take you home.”

She glanced back at the guest bedroom, her reluctance to leave Holly behind palpable.

“She’s in the best hands possible,” he said in an attempt to reassure her. Then he held out his hand for Nicole to take, which she did. “Come on, sweetheart. You need a hot shower and lots of sleep, and you’ll be more comfortable doing both back at your apartment.”

Instead of taking the Hummer, which attracted too much attention, Nathan used Caleb’s car to drive Nicole to her place. She sat quietly in the passenger seat, and with each passing mile he could feel her withdrawing and emotionally closing herself off to him. He hated that she could so easily shut him out after everything they’d shared, but he also knew that the stress of what she’d endured was a huge part of the reason she was retreating into herself.

Right now, making sure Nicole was safe and protected was his main priority. Until they arrested Sloane, the man was still a threat. Nathan had already started closing off all the trails for Alex Keller, and Lucas was making sure the identity was completely erased, as if that persona had never existed. As a material witness for the case, he’d be required to give a deposition for the feds, as would Nicole. But until her presence was required, she needed to lie low.

He arrived at her apartment and walked Nicole up to her place. Once the door was unlocked, she stepped inside and turned around, but didn’t invite him inside—a telling sign he heeded. For now.

“What happens from here?” she asked, her voice as tired as she looked.

“Until Sloane is in custody, you need to keep out of sight,” he said, making sure she was clear on that. “Stay in your apartment and don’t go to work. I’ll keep in touch so you know what’s going on, or you can reach me on my cell at any time.”

She nodded. “How long is it going to take?”

“At least three days.” He shifted on his feet, trying hard to give her the space she seemed to need, even though the distance between them was killing him. “Less if the feds move quickly.”

She rubbed her fingers across her furrowed forehead as she processed his answer. “Then what?”

“We can go back to our regular lives.” For him, that meant a future that included her in it. A committed relationship that eventually led to marriage, when she was ready to make that step. “And you can write your exclusive story on Sloane, like you wanted.”

He expected an ecstatic response from her, since exposing Sloane had been her goal from the beginning. But she didn’t even acknowledge the coup that would be hers, and hers alone.

Instead, she stood there, like an empty shell of herself. Seeing her so devoid of emotion scared the crap out of him. “All my stuff is still at the Turnberry apartment.”

The mundane conversation grated on his nerves, and also set off an uneasy sensation deep inside him. “Caleb has a crew coming in and cleaning everything up. He’ll get your things packed, and I’ll bring them to you.”

She shook her head, her expression suddenly adamant, as was the way she lifted her chin. “No, just have them send everything to me.”

The finality of her words hit him in the stomach like a sucker punch. Right here, right now, she was ending things with him, without giving him any choice in the matter. And it royally pissed him off.

His first instinct was to confront her, to lay everything on the line and force her to acknowledge that there was something special between them. To argue that
they
weren’t over just because the case was, or because she decided they were done.

Goddamn it,
he loved her
. And he knew she cared for him, too. Their relationship might have started out as strictly sexual, but there was no denying the deep emotional connection that had formed between the two of them.

But she
was
denying her true feelings in the only way she knew how, by reverting to past behavior and walking away before things became even more complicated—just as she’d done the first evening they’d met when she’d slipped out on him in the middle of the night. She was trying to protect her heart the only way she knew how, even if that meant sacrificing her own happiness in the process.

Frustrated by her behavior, he exhaled a deep breath, which calmed his anger and helped him to think straight before he said or did something he’d regret later. He knew the events of the past few days were skewing her judgment. She wasn’t trained to deal with the emotional impact of what she’d witnessed at Sloane’s. She didn’t possess the skills he did to compartmentalize her feelings. His training kept his focus on the mission, and logic ruled his behavior. Everything about this case had affected her emotionally.

She needed time to process everything. She needed space to put everything in perspective, including what was between the two of them. Right now, she was overwhelmed. If he pushed her to examine her feelings for him, she was going to snap. Hell, one of the most valuable lessons he’d learned from his own sisters was that if he made demands of a woman when she was stressed, she was going to make a decision that he’d regret.

And he didn’t want any regrets between him and Nicole.

He took a step back, so he was no longer standing in the doorframe. “You and I aren’t done yet.” His words were short and to the point.

A flicker of sadness passed through her soft blue eyes. Then, without a response, she shut the door on him, closing the door on
them
.

Chapter Twenty

Nicole leaned against the closed door long after she knew that Nathan had gone. Her throat was tight with unshed tears, and she felt so jagged and raw inside. The weekend had stripped her emotions bare and left her defenseless, exposed, and hurting in ways she’d never imagined.

She needed a hot shower. She needed to eat. She needed hours of deep, dreamless sleep. But most of all, she needed to rid her mind of the ugly, unpleasant memories of the weekend. And the only way she knew how to do that was to write the story that was hers alone to tell. The grim facts and details were clawing to get out, and she knew she’d never rest until the experience was purged from her soul.

Since her laptop was still at the Turnberry apartment, she turned on the desktop computer in her bedroom. Michelle had spent the weekend with her fiancé, and Nicole was grateful to be alone. She sat down at the desk, opened a new Word document, and put her fingers to the keyboard.

The story of Sloane, his exploitation of young girls, and his involvement in human trafficking spilled out of Nicole faster than she could type. But then her past collided with the present, and she realized that she wasn’t just writing the story for her career; it had also become a huge cathartic release for the shame and humiliation she’d carried with her for so many years, along with the fears that kept her from risking her heart again. It all poured out of her, a wealth of fear and heartache, and all the anger she’d kept buried for much too long.

It wasn’t until hours later, when she was nearly done with the piece, that she became aware of the wet trail of tears on her face. She was supposed to be a dispassionate journalist, yet she was an emotional mess. But despite the pain of reliving the past, and the anxiety of rehashing what she’d witnessed at Sloane’s estate, she felt as though she’d set a part of herself free in writing what had become a very personal story for her. In her mind, she’d finally righted a wrong, and bringing down Sloane would save many other girls from falling victim to a man’s manipulations.

The knowledge gave her a heady, uplifting feeling of triumph.

Beyond spent, her mind and body completely tapped out, she saved the document, pushed her keyboard aside, and laid her head on the cool surface of her desk. She really did need food, a shower, and sleep, and she told herself she’d get up in just a minute …

The ringing of her cell phone jolted Nicole upright. Her head felt heavy, her mind unfocused. It took her a moment to realize that more than a minute had passed. As she blinked to clear the slumberous haze from her vision, a squinty-eyed glance at the clock on her desk told her she’d been asleep for nearly three hours.

Her phone rang again. She cleared her throat before flipping it open and answering the call. “Hello?”

“It’s … it’s Holly.”

Getting an unexpected call from Holly was enough to snap Nicole to immediate attention. “Are you okay?”