Authors: Jeanne Bannon
Jon adjusts his collar and kneels beside me. “Are you okay?”
I nod but for some reason the tears come again.
“
Please don’t cry.” His voice is soft and his eyes are kind. “Nino’s not worth it.”
I’m not crying over Nino. I’m crying because Jon cares.
The lunch bell rings. Jon helps me to my feet and I realize it’s the first time I’ve actually touched him, with my real body, not my invisible one. A little thrill rushes through me.
“
Thanks.”
“
You’re a really special girl,” he says. “I mean special in a good way,” he adds quickly and a blush mounts in his cheeks. His gaze falls to the ground. “You’re different from other girls.”
Though Charlie is there beside us, for a moment it feels like we’re alone as we make our way back inside.
“’
Bye,” Charlie huffs and peels off in the direction of her next class.
“
See you after school,” I call after her and wave.
Jon walks me to my locker. The whole time my heart pounds so hard I hear the blood whooshing in my ears. To stay grounded, I take deep breaths – in through the nose and out through my mouth.
After I open my locker, I expect Jon to leave, but to my surprise and delight, he’s still here. He leans against the open door, wearing a goofy grin.
“
Do you want to go out sometime?”
I freeze. My voice abandons me.
My heart flutters.
“
Lola?”
My pulse slows for a moment
I’m gone.
Jon reaches out to the spot he saw me last and his hand passes through me. A jolt of energy jabs into me, like I’ve stuck my finger in a light socket.
“
Lola?” he whispers. “You there? It’s okay, I’ll just wait here ’til you come back.” His eyes dart furtively from one side to the other. He’s keeping watch for me; so no one will notice I’ve vanished.
This puts me at ease. Actually, it does more than that, it makes me happy to know he’s protecting me and, a moment later, I’m back.
“
Wow, Lola. You’re
so
cool! God, I wish I could do that.”
“
Shhh.” I bring a finger to my lips. “Do you think anyone saw?”
“
No, nobody noticed. I’m sure of it.” His voice hushes to a whisper, “Where did you go?”
I furrow my brow and shrug. “I don’t think I actually go anywhere. I could hear you talking and I could see you.”
“
So cool.”
“
I gotta learn to control it better,” I say more to myself than Jon. I’m starting to worry that The Vanishing is happening more frequently.
“
But you told me if you remain calm, you’ll be okay. So you just have to be calm,” Jon offers.
“
Yeah, but how do I do that? That’s the hard part.”
“
I think you just need to know how really great you are and then everything will fall into place.” He puts a hand on my arm. “You’re the smartest girl I know and I wish you could see what I see.”
A smile wants to bloom on my lips, but it would have been better if he’d said I was the most
beautiful
girl he knew.
“
And you’re talented,” he adds. “I know about your writing.”
I give him a weak smile and he leans in close. I breathe in his cologne and have an overwhelming urge to caress his cheek.
“
And I think you’re pretty too.”
Now I smile for real.
“
I work Saturday night, but do you want to catch a movie with me Sunday?”
I nod. Now it’s me with the big goofy grin.
Chapter Fourteen
For the rest of the week I feel as if I’m floating. Jon meets me at my locker every morning and walks with me to homeroom. He even eats lunch with Charlie and me, outside under the oak tree. It’s fast becoming “our place” after we decide to steer clear of the cafeteria for a while. Charlie huffs and sighs and I can tell she’s not happy with the additional company. She continues to try to convince me I shouldn’t trust Jon, but my instincts tell me otherwise. I think she’s jealous because of all the attention he’s giving me.
Oh well, she’s just going to have to get used to it.
Today’s Saturday and I spend most of it working on my story for the competition, but its slow going. I just can’t find the motivation and I spend hours staring at a blank page. My mind drifts. I can’t stop thinking about Jon and the things he said to me – that I’m pretty and smart. It makes goose flesh rise on my arms. I’m almost embarrassed. No one’s ever said those words to me, except for Gran, and I don’t think her opinion counts because she’s my grandmother and she has no choice.
I wonder what Jon’s writing about. I didn’t get much of a look when I tried to spy on him at the coffee shop. I’ll have to ask him tomorrow if he’s going to enter a story for the scholarship award. A contented smile spreads across my face. My dream’s coming true. I’m actually going on a date with Jon Kingsbury!
The temptation to call Gran to tell her my awesome news is almost unbearable, but I decide to wait for tomorrow’s visit, so I can see her reaction.
I finally pulled a few ideas out of my preoccupied brain and hurriedly got them down on paper. I tuck my story away and rummage through my closet for something to wear on my date tomorrow. Something slimming, probably something black. I decide on my new dark wash jeans and then sneak into Eva’s room to root around for a top.
My heart sinks when the unmistakable sound of footsteps stop me cold. I’ve been caught red-handed.
“
What are you doing?” she asks at the door, hands planted firmly on her hips.
“
I need to borrow a top.”
“
What for? You only wear T-shirts.”
“
I have a date.”
Eva laughs. “Yeah right. That’s about as likely as one of my tops actually fitting you.”
“
You might have something…”
She slams a palm inches from my face. “Don’t want to hear it. Get out.”
I feel my face redden and I throw her a nasty look. I step toward her and she jumps out of the way.
Yeah, that’s right. I could pound your little ass into the ground.
Satisfied, I stomp away. Sometimes, being big has its advantages.
The thought of asking for Mom’s help flits briefly through my mind, but I let the idea slip away. An impromptu shopping trip is always a possibility, or God forbid, she might actually find something of hers that fits me. I can imagine it, sparkly and low cut. Eva’s wardrobe isn’t that much different than Mom’s, but her taste is slightly less showy. Besides, I don’t want Mom to know I have a date. She’ll get all nosy. Panic rises; I hope Eva doesn’t say anything. But I know my sister well. She’s either already forgotten about my date or doesn’t believe me anyway, and is immersed again in her own shallow life.
Once back in my room for another round of rummaging, I finally settle on one of my nicer T-shirts. It’s fairly new and the colors are right
black and dark gray: slimming colors. It’s got long sleeves so it probably doesn’t really qualify as a real T-shirt, but it’s light enough to wear at this time of year. Besides, Jon likes me the way I am, so why change now? I wince. Only a small part of me really believes that.
* * * *
Finally, it’s Sunday morning. I lie here trying to relax and push away the thoughts that are forcing me out of the comfort of my bed. I’m not really nervous about my date with Jon, at least not yet. More than anything, I’m excited, but my adrenaline is definitely pumping. I’m getting used to him,
I think
. Our conversations are never awkward and he’s funny, but Charlie’s usually there as a buffer. Tonight will be different. It’ll just be me and Jon. An uncomfortable churning in my belly finally drives me from my bed.
Hurriedly I dress, pulling on the same clothes I wore the day before. I’ll have a shower and wash my hair when I get back from Gran’s.
Dad’s at the kitchen table, sipping from his giant mug of coffee while scrolling through something on his cellphone. No doubt he’ll be heading to the garage for a smoke soon, taking his coffee with him. He’s got a nice little set up out there; a couch, a small television and a beer fridge. Mom doesn’t allow smoking in the house. She’s a reformed smoker and is constantly on Dad’s case about quitting. I don’t blame her. He smells like an ashtray.
“
Good morning,” he says brightly when I enter the kitchen.
He’s got a few days’ growth of stubble and his hair stands stiffly on end; too much gel and hairspray. I cringe at the thought of how many other dads use more hair products than their daughters. Two large hoop earrings adorn his lobes and he’s wearing a True Religion shirt and jeans with holes in them. He paid extra for the holes I think.
“
Hey, Dad. Mom still asleep?” I pull a bowl from the cupboard and fill it with Cheerios.
“
Yeah. She needs her beauty sleep.” He grins, looking up from his iPhone. “Going to Gran’s today?”
I sit and pour milk into my bowl. “That’s the plan.”
He puts his phone down and leans on his forearms to scrutinize me. His brows knit in confusion and he gives his head a little shake. “Why, Lola? She’s what, seventy-eight, seventy-nine? Why do you want to hang out with an old lady?”
“
She’s eighty and she’s cool,” I say. Defiance edges my voice. “I love Grandma Rose.”
He laughs. “I know you love her. We all love her. But only you could find an eighty-year-old woman cool. It’s the weekend, it’s almost summer. Why don’t you go out with some friends? You’re starting to worry me.”
“
Don’t worry about me.” I stare into my cereal.
“
But always with the books and the writing.” He lifts my face with a finger, which is crowned with black nail polish. “I just want you to be happy.”
I sigh and turn away.
How many times do I have to hear this speech?
“You just don’t get it. You, Mom, Eva, you’re all alike. I’m the outsider in this family. Dad, I am happy. I love to read, I love to write and I love to hang out with Grandma Rose. Why can’t you just let me be me? I won’t ever be like you guys.” I scrape my chair back and stand. “I don’t
want
to be like you guys.”
I shovel a huge scoop of cereal into my mouth and mumble, “Be back after lunch.”
Chapter Fifteen
My mood lifts as soon as I see Grandma Rose’s smiling face.
“
Keep your shoes on, Kiddo, we’re goin’ out today,” she announces with enthusiasm when I walk through the door. Her make-up is on, her hair is neatly combed and sprayed into place – I can tell by the sheen – and she’s dressed in her favorite comfy-looking velour track suit. She shrugs a giant purse onto a shoulder. “Let’s go!”
Gran still drives, though she had to take a driving test this year in order to keep her licence. She passed with flying colors.
“
Where’re we going?”
“
You mind goin’ to the mall with your old granny? I know how you hate shopping with your mom. I promise I won’t make you try on ugly clothes,” she says with a giggle. “I need an outfit for my ballroom dancing recital this afternoon.”
My mind boggles. I knew Gran took some kind of dance lesson on Sunday afternoons. She heads straight over to the community center after my visits. But ballroom dancing? I thought it was exercise dancing for old folks. Then again, she does go on and on about
Dancing with the Stars
, and how much she loves some guy on the show named Maks, so it shouldn’t surprise me. She even painted a picture of him, if I remember correctly.
“
How come you never told me you were taking ballroom dancing?”
“
Oh, I suppose I do lots of things I don’t tell you about,” she says with a wink. “Tonight we do the Cha Cha Cha. I’m so excited. I’ve got to get something sexy, but age appropriate.”
She threw in the last bit for my benefit. Gran isn’t like Mom in the way she dresses. She’s got class. I wish some of it had rubbed off on my mother.
After pulling into the parking lot of Bridgewood Mall in Gran’s cherry red 1989 Toyota Corolla SR5, we head into the mall to her favorite dancewear store “Step-in-Style.”
“
I’ve got some exciting news,” I announce.
“
What’s that, honey?” she asks as she searches the racks in the Latin dance section.
“
I’ve got a date tonight.”
Gran stops, smiles hugely and pulls me into an embrace. “Oh, Lola, I’m so happy for you.” Then she holds me at arm’s length. “Is he a good boy? What’s his name?”
“
His name’s Jon, and yes, Gran, he’s a good boy.”
She eyes me for a moment, a brow lifts and her lips purse. “You didn’t tell him about The Vanishing did you?”
I chew my lower lip and worry creases my brow as I give a slow nod. Lying to Gran is not an option. But I didn’t think she’d ask this question. How stupid am I?
“
Oh, Lola.” A frown sets on her lips and her face erupts in a road map of wrinkles. “Honey, you’ve got to be careful who you tell. You told me the other day Charlie knows, but no one else, okay? Only those closest to you should know.”